Bringing God to College

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14

After graduating from the University of Miami in the spring of 2016, Michael Fuentes decided to put his career on hold, and he accepted a full-time college missionary position with an organization called FOCUS. The goal of the organization is to invite college students into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and His Church. They do this by inspiring and equipping students for a lifetime of Christ-centered Evangelization, Discipleship, and Friendship. They work primarily with college students, ages 18 to 22, who are experiencing life outside of their home for the first time. Most of these students are too preoccupied with finding friends and studying, instead of devoting any time to Christ.

I met with Michael this summer, and I was impressed by his zeal and passion. He originally signed up for a two-year commitment, but decided to extend his commitment by an additional year. I asked him: “What is your motivation?” And his answer blew me away: “When God called, I could not say no.” I asked myself, how would I have reacted if any one of my three children had told me that they were putting their careers on hold to do missionary work. I may have been thrilled for one year... but three years? I probably would have had mixed feelings because let’s be real, college tuition is pretty high. Rafael and I always told them that if we could, we would cover the cost of their college tuition so they could graduate debt free, but in return, they had to study something that would lead to a career where our investment in their education paid off, not for us, but for them. So if they came to us with “missionary” plans, more than likely, we would have told them to first go to work, save some money, and then, if they still wanted to go change the world, then go do it with their own money. So I must say that not only am I in awe of Michael, but also of his parents who have allowed him to answer God’s call and follow his vocation.

As a missionary, Michael’s goal is to help men encounter Christ in their lives. He accomplishes this goal through one on one mentorship, bible studies and authentic friendships with guys he encounters on campus. Michael spent his first year at Columbia University. He quickly realized how much the students were missing an encounter with the Lord. But although this was a very difficult campus, in the year that he served, he saw the rewards of his mission by increasing male participation from 4 to 25. The following year, he was called to serve at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. Here, Michael helped FOCUS launch FOCUS Latino, with the hopes to reach out to more Hispanics in our country. He found Mason to be quite different from Columbia. In one year, he was able to minister to over 300 students at the Catholic Center. He says that “it was a blessing to be able to see spiritual multiplication in full effect.” Due to his success in leading the Hispanic outreach program, Michael has returned to Mason where he will continue to work with the hispanic movement during the next school year.

In addition to spreading the word of God in the college campus thru bible studies and other activities, Michael took four students to the Yucatan Peninsula during Spring Break. They did not go to the beaches to have the time of their lives like most college students do during their spring break. Instead, they went on a mission trip where they served the poor in a local village by doing house visits and presenting them with the Word of the gospel.

Michael has allowed the Lord to be the sculptor of his life, but he does not receive a salary to do his missionary work. In order to accomplish this task, he needs financial and spiritual support! For this, during the summer, his job is to seek Mission Partners to embark with him on this mission of living out the new evangelization. Unfortunately, most of us, cannot take a year off to go preach at college campuses even though the need is definitely there, as I was able to experience with each of my three children. But most of us can help young men and women, like Michael, by supporting them with monthly financial contributions and/or prayers. In return, Michael will reward us by praying for our families and any of our needs.

If you would like to learn more about Michael and the FOCUS mission, here is a link to his support page:

Michael Fuentes’ Support Page

Please pray for Michael as he strives to help students have a radical encounter with Christ that will change their lives like the Lord changed his, simply because he chose to answer the call with a resounding YES.

Wedding Bells in the Digital Century

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

All the advances of the digital century cannot replace the importance of visiting wedding venues in person or actually tasting the food that will be served. Thus, last weekend, we headed to Princeton with the bride and groom. They are on the countdown. In less than three months, Rafi and Emily will say “I do.” They invited us to accompany them, and I am so grateful that we were able to spend such a whirlwind weekend with them. They have chosen a truly enchanting place to get married. We had not been back since they graduated six years ago, and even though we discovered a few new and more modern buildings that have sprouted up in these last six years, the place still retains its Gothic charm. I’m ecstatic that they have chosen to make their vows to each other in the place where their love story began.

As we ran from reception tasting to cake tasting to hair and makeup testing, I couldn’t help but reminisce about our own wedding thirty-four years ago. And in the process, I came to the conclusion that in three decades, some things have changed a lot but the most important things remain the same.

Rafael gave me the ring the day that I turned twenty years old. He wanted to give it to me right at the stroke of midnight. We had spent the Fourth of July at the beach with friends and family. Unfortunately, we stayed a bit longer than he would have liked so the clock struck midnight when we were driving on the dolphin expressway. But nothing was going to deter him from his plan. He pulled to the side of the road, got off, and left me inside the car wondering “what in the world is he up to?” He opened the trunk of his very old Ramona (the name he had given to his very unreliable, antique Toyota) and he took out a very large box. When I removed the gift wrap, and I opened it, I discovered to my amazement, a pair of very old and smelly, tennis shoes. “What is this?” I asked him. “Keep searching,” he said. Buried between the shoes and ripped pieces of newspaper, I found a smaller box, also gift wrapped. By this time, my heart was beating pretty fast because I had already figured out by the size of the box what was in it. Sure enough, I found inside the most beautiful ring my eyes had ever seen, not because of its size but because I was in love, and anything Rafael would have given me on that night was more precious than the largest diamond on earth. I’m still waiting for the official proposal, though, since getting on one knee on the side of the busy expressway would have been a huge risk.

Today, a proposal requires a lot of planning. Some couples use the advantages of technology to prepare a video or a digital presentation to use during the proposal. Many do it at restaurants, and they hire the help of the chefs and servers to plan an unforgettable night. I have seen planes flying over the beach with the question in a banner. Rafi chose to propose to Emily at the New York Metropolitan Museum, one of their favorite weekend spots. He even planned a scavenger hunt

that ended with her eyes closed and him in front of her on one knee.

It was indeed very special, and made my expressway “non” proposal seem insignificant by comparison, but at the end of the day, the important thing is the love behind the proposal itself. It does not matter where it takes place. On those first minutes of July 5th, 1982, I was the happiest girl in the world. I did not need a one carat diamond ring or an airplane flying over my head with a sign asking “Christy, will you marry me?” That impromptu moment in the middle of a busy expressway was more special to me than if he had hired a philharmonic orchestra to propose with background music.

We wanted to get married one year after he gave me the ring, but we were still going to school, and we didn’t have enough money for the wedding that we had envisioned. Therefore, we decided to start saving and postpone the wedding for another year. It was unusual to have a two-year engagement in the 1980s. Today, it is very normal. Rafi and Emily got engaged two years ago today. I guess, we started a trend.

By the time we got married, we had not saved nearly enough to have the wedding of our dreams. As two promising accountants, we sat down by the bay and we prepared a budget. The most important thing for us was the wedding ceremony at the church. The second most important thing was to have all our family and friends with us. Rafael’s family alone surpassed the one hundred count. We were very involved with the Youth Groups from our respective parishes, and also with Youth Encounters, so our “friends” list was also over one hundred. And even though my family was tiny, what we lacked in family we more than made up in friends, so that was another hundred. And then, there were the fifty or so “compromisos” that we simply could not avoid. So we compromised. We would invite everyone to the church, but we would not mention a reception in the invitations. Those that attended the church service would be invited, at the end of the ceremony, to go next door for a cocktail reception. Three-hundred twenty persons showed up to the church. When I walked in, on a Friday evening at the end of June, I could not believe my eyes. The church was packed. And my heart bursted with joy.

Today, a wedding entails careful planning to the last minute detail. There are engagement parties. There are bachelor and bachelorette getaways in addition to the bridal showers. There are rehearsal dinners. There are food and cake tastings prior to the reception. The flowers are selected carefully after various arrangements are made to have an array to choose from. The wedding gift registry requires a pre-arranged coordinated meeting with the store. There are make-up artists and hair stylists hired to go to the hotel to take care of the entire wedding party. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that the bride and entire wedding party usually stay at a hotel the night before the wedding, even if the wedding takes place in their hometown. Many hire a wedding planner, and there are even fairy godmothers available that for a fee will take care of any last minute fiascos like a loose button or a tangled zipper. And if the wedding is a “destination” wedding like Rafi and Emily’s will be, that adds an additional layer to all the planning: where will the guests stay, what activities will they provide for the wedding weekend, how will the guests be transported from hotel to church to reception and back to the hotel.

There is also a new trend known as “first look.” In the 80s, it was common for the bride to take pictures prior to the wedding, by herself. I remember putting my wedding dress, and getting my make-up and hair done about a month before the wedding. I then headed with my mom and grandmother to the Spanish Monastery to take those pictures. Today, that is not popular anymore. But many couples choose to take pictures together in their wedding ensemble prior to the actual wedding. Thus, the “first look.” It is planned in a way that the bride enters the room where the groom is waiting, and he gets to have the “first look” prior to the ceremony. In this way, they can take the pictures without having to take extra time to capture those special moments on the day of the wedding, or having to return the following day like we saw in Princeton on Sunday morning. There was a couple in full wedding attire that probably got married the previous day, and they were taking pictures in different spots by the Princeton chapel. Rafi and Emily have not yet decided if they will do the “first look” a few weeks prior to the wedding or if they will take some time right after the ceremony to take their precious photos that will capture their special day forever. Regardless of what they decide, we walked around with them to help them select the most enchanting spots for their wedding pictures. It was not difficult. Princeton is filled with those captivating sites.

I guess a lot of this pre-planning is very helpful and could take away from the stress. It certainly would have been helpful when I showed up for my hair and make-up appointment on the day of my wedding, and my make-up “artist” did not have any make-up. Thank God that in a Cuban salon in Little Havana, there were plenty of “abuelas” who turned into my fairy godmothers, and saved the day. They emptied out their large handbags, and between everyone present, they managed to produce a make-up kit that would have been the envy of Estée Lauder or Christian Dior.

Our wedding gift registry was made during two weeknights. One night we went to Luria’s and another night we went to Burdines. Neither store is around any more but we still have a lot of the gifts that we received on that day. I’m not sure if all the stores do this today, but I learned from Rafi and Emily that Crate and Barrel hosts a private registry event once a month. On this day, the couples that are getting married get to have the store to themselves before they open to the general public. While they learn about registry perks, they are treated to refreshments. They get a tour of the store, they receive free samples, they get product demos, and a ten percent discount that they can use for up to six months after their wedding. And of course, in this digital century where technology is the name of the game, they can use their own phones to scan the items and add them to their registry. No more paper and pencil. No more walking around the aisles, a little lost, wondering what would really be practical and what would end up inside the kitchen cabinet getting dusty, like the punch bowl which we have used only once in thirty-four years... but we still have it.

I had no idea what my flowers would look like. I still have no idea what my flowers looked like because honestly, I did not even notice them. My mind was in the clouds, not in the flowers. All I know is that I went with my mother to meet a guy named Humberto. He had done my mother’s flowers for her wedding in Cuba. When he found out, he gave me the flowers for a dime a dozen. I think the fact that I told him that my favorite flowers were daisies probably had something to do with the bargain I got. But I must say that at least, in my wedding bouquet which is the only thing that got captured on a picture, he outdid himself. He used plenty of white roses and no daisies.

He saved those for the flower girls, even though, I found out after the wedding that their daisy crowns were so large, that the moms had to improvise or else they would have worn them as necklaces instead of crowns.

We tasted the food that was served at our reception every time we went to the bakery... we are still tasting it to this day. On our meager budget, all we could afford to feed our potential three hundred plus guests was pastelitos, croqueticas and bocaditos. We were also helped in this department by two fairy godmothers, Amelia and Carmen, who managed to put together a plate with little canapés that looked like they would melt in your mouth. Of course, I would not know. I did not eat a single bite that night. During our weekend in Princeton, we accompanied Rafi and Emily to their food tasting. I expected that we would be served a few bites to try the different choices. I was wrong. We were treated to a banquet. They first brought us an entire assortment of different cheeses and fruits. Then, they brought out a tray that contained a total of thirty-six appetizers, six samples of six different choices. Just like on my wedding day, I hardly ate because unfortunately, I chose the wrong date to have an upset stomach. After trying out all the appetizers, both the future bride and groom, and Rafael, were pretty full, but we were not done. Then came the salads and the main courses. They brought nine full plates, three with beef, three with fish, and three with chicken. Each main course was accompanied by two side dishes. I tried the chicken. It was delicious. And then, as if that was not enough, they brought us a plate filled with an assortment of pastries... They looked divine. I will make sure to take care of myself so I can savor all those delicacies on the day of the wedding.

After the food tasting at the boathouse where they will host their reception, we drove for one hour to the bakery that will provide their wedding cake. I was wondering whether this was the only bakery in New Jersey. It is not, but it seemed to be a very popular venue since it was filled with couples waiting to try their exquisite selections. When our turn came, we sat in front of a young lady that began by showing us an assortment of cake pictures in her computer screen. The bride and groom could choose from a 3-tier or a 4-tier cake, natural flowers or sugar flowers, and many colors were available but the most popular for a wedding were cream color, all white or a mixture of cream and white. Then they had to select the design for the cake. And then came the best part, the cake tasting, because even though selecting a cake digitally is very convenient, the most important thing is the taste, and that cannot be experienced digitally. When they brought out sixteen pieces of cake, I could not help myself and I gave in to the temptation. I figured Peptobismol would take care of my tummy later on. How to choose two flavors from those sixteen delicious choices was beyond me: from dulce de leche to red velvet with cream cheese to various flavors of chocolate to raspberry to vanilla to buttercream... I limited myself to try just two and they both tasted delicious. But Rafi and Emily tried them all, and they were able to narrow it down to their favorite two choices. They left with a small box that contained these flavors so they could eat them again later on to make sure those were what they wanted. I can’t even remember my cake but one thing I am certain of, I did not have that many choices and I did not get to taste my cake in advance.

Even though in the digital century planning a wedding has become more complex in my opinion, the one thing that has not changed in all these years is the joy reflected on the faces of the bride and groom as they go through the planning stages. Sharing this weekend with them was so special because I was able to see first hand how much they love each other, and how happy they feel to take their relationship to the next level. It was exactly how Rafael and I felt thirty-four years ago when we said our vows to each other in front of God and the people that most mattered to us. We do not have a video from our special day, and we only have a handful of pictures, but we took pictures with all the people that mattered.

We did not have the latest band at our wedding, but we danced until our feet were aching. At the end of the day, the most important thing is the two people that are getting married and the commitment that they are making to each other. We are on the countdown to Rafi and Emily’s wedding, and all I can hope for them is a lifetime of happiness. Their love and the vows that they will say to each other on their wedding day is more important than the food that will be served at their reception or the pictures they will take. I have the memories of my magical wedding night stored in my heart forever, but the most important thing is that my Prince Charming is still around, even though he never officially proposed.