Hindsight is 2020

“I’m beginning to think that the phrase ‘hindsight is 20/20’ was a message from a future time traveler that we all misunderstood.” Unknown

Do I really want to look back at 2020? Wouldn’t it just be best to forget all about it? After all, every single day has been like listening to a broken record that keeps repeating all the bad things that have happened this year. 

As we finish this crazy and wacky year, I would like to reminisce, not about all the bad things, but about the blessings that we have received. Yes, even amidst the darkest days, there were moments when the stars were shining bright. After all, it is in the darkest night when we can best see the brightest stars. 

This year brought a lot of new babies. I have a lot of friends and cousins that became grandparents for the first time this year, and a few others that added new grandchildren to their flock. Those babies are by far the biggest blessing of 2020. 

As far as weddings, 2020 was quite wacky. I know so many couples that had to postpone their special day, not once but twice. In the end, many opted for the ceremony even if they had to postpone the reception. They will be able to tell their children and grandchildren for years to come that they got married in the midst of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. 

We learned to appreciate what truly matters. We realized that having a lot of material things is not as important as having health; having a lot of money is not as important as being alive; luxuries are not our possessions but our family and friends; we learned that a hug and a kiss from a loved one is worth more than all the gold in the world; and we realize now that being able to breathe without a mask is a luxury that we took for granted.

We had to reinvent ourselves in 2020. Most of us learned what a “zoom” meeting is, and this brought us more international connections. We learned to work from home, and in the process, realized how much time we used to waste commuting and in pointless meetings. Parents became teachers, and are now masters at multi-tasking because they had no choice but to balance work and a toddler at the same time. We also learned to place more value on teachers and what they provide for our children.

We discovered the resilience of the human spirit. Yes, this year brought a lot of suffering and grief, but we learned to move forward beyond our pain. And we learned to reach out to others in need. I have been in touch with many more people than in past years, maybe not face-to-face but I have reached out to them either through social media, zoom, WhatsApp or by phone. I have prayed for friends, family and complete strangers. And when it was our family’s turn to experience health issues, we received countless messages and phone calls from those same friends and family, as well as prayers from them and from complete strangers.

We found more time for ourselves in the solitude. We have become masters at organization, having our houses tidier than they’ve ever been. We were able to read that book that we had been putting off for lack of time. We learned to enjoy a good movie without interruption. We found time to play with our children and our spouses. We began to cherish our houses and turn them into homes. We were able to have dinner earlier and therefore sleep longer. In the midst of the stress the world was experiencing, we learned to relax. 

We saw people shine bright in the midst of crisis, especially the frontline workers. Even while under-protected, they showed true compassion, courage and empathy towards those under their care. People opened their hearts and their wallets to help those in need. My church has a pantry to help families in need. They used to help about 50 families. The count is now close to 200 families, but donations keep pouring in and every week they can provide meals to all these families that are struggling financially.

We made time to pray. Many persons whose faith had become stagnant, returned to God in 2020. They began to pray, first for family members that became sick, then for friends, and eventually, without even realizing it, they were praying on a regular basis, and their relationship with God strengthened.

Without a doubt, everyone will remember 2020 as a tragic year, but every cloud has a silver lining. In spite of the sadness and grief, if we really take a look in hindsight, we have also received a lot of blessings. This is what I’m trying to focus on as I bid good-bye to 2020 and ring-in 2021.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

2020 has turned me into a homey

“If they just called it the ‘stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media, things would be completely back to normal by now.” The Super Mom Life

“Let’s go for a walk at Las Olas.”

“Do we have to?”

A couple of years ago, I would have probably been the one to say the first sentence and my hubby would have replied with the second one. But on Sunday, it was the other way around. I was still in my PJs, enjoying the movie “White Christmas” on Netflix, when the hubby came up with the great idea to go to Las Olas. The pre-2020 me would have jumped with excitement, but 2020 has turned me into a homey, and I just wanted to stay home to finish watching the movie. 

I have friends that like to eat dinner very early, like around 5 pm. I used to make fun of them. I would tell them all the time, “you guys have become a couple of senior citizens.” Every time we went on a cruise together, they wanted the early sitting and we wanted the late sitting. The other day, my friend called me at 8, and she said, “I waited to call you because I know you have dinner around 7.” I started laughing and told her that I had turned into her: “We are now having dinner at 5, like you guys. This is what staying home has done to us. We have joined the senior citizens club.”

Turning into a homey has made staying home during the pandemic more bearable. I can be happy staying home reading a good book, watching a movie, playing Rummikub or doing a puzzle. I can find many ways to entertain myself. However, having a balance is also very necessary because life happens outside my four walls. 

The thing that I miss the most is my community of friends and family that I can’t see as often as I would like, and when I do see them we have to be wearing masks and keeping our distance. I am not a very hugging or touching kind of person, but when 2020 began, I made a list of 20 resolutions. Two of these resolutions were: “I will spend less time on social media and more time face-to-face with those that truly matter,” and “I will hug my loved ones more.” Obviously, 2020 had the last laugh because by the third month of the year, those two resolutions had to be thrown out the window. And never in my life have I felt like hugging someone more than this year.

Therefore, as much as I sometimes just want to stay home, I miss my people. I miss spending face-to-face time with those I love. I miss hugging them. I miss going to my “live” Bible classes. I miss sitting down in a packed movie theater. I miss going to a full church on Christmas morning and holding hands to pray the “Our Father.” I miss giving the sign of peace to others by shaking their hands or kissing those I know, instead of waving from afar. I miss going to a crowded mall where I have to avoid bumping into people not for fear of catching a virus but because there is practically not enough room to walk.

I did allow the hubby to convince me to get out of the house on Sunday, and we went to Las Olas. It was not as crowded as it normally would have been at this time of year, but there were quite a number of people, and most of them, without masks.  Of course, this made me want to run back home, but we stayed. We walked around, wearing not one but two masks, and avoiding people as much as we could. We took a stroll down the River Walk, and ended up sitting at a cafe, outdoors, of course. We enjoyed a glass of wine and some tapas, while watching the boats cruise down the river and the people promenading with their dogs, their kids, or their loved ones.

For a couple of hours, we were able to forget that we are still living a pandemic nightmare. And that is why, for 2021, I am only making one resolution: “I will push myself out the door and stop being the homey I have become.” Life keeps happening and people keep enjoying it, despite COVID-19. I will take precautions, but I will not stop living for fear of catching “the virus.” I will get out of my comfort zone and enjoy the great outdoors, because after all, we do live in a town with the most amazing weather during the winter. So I vow that 2021, will return me to enjoy being “out-of-the-house.“

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

A Few of my Favorite Things

“When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” The Sound of Music

This week I have been feeling a little blue. I started thinking about Christmas, my favorite holiday, and it made me sad that this year we will be apart from most of our family. Rafi and Emily will be spending it in New York. Alex and Keely in Kentucky. And just like on Thanksgiving, the extended family will separate into smaller groups to minimize the spread of Covid-19. For me, Christmas is about gathering with friends and family, going to mass together, exchanging gifts and sharing a meal together. This year, we will not be able to gather. I haven’t even started decorating simply because I have not been in the mood.

One of my favorite movies is “The Sound of Music.” I can watch it hundreds of times and it never gets old. I love the music, so as I sit here melancholic, I remember the lyrics of one of its songs: “When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” Let’s see it it’s true. 

Sunrises at the beach and rainbows after a rainstorm. Walking by the seashore while holding hands with my hubby. Sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold winter morning. Staring at a Nativity scene while remembering the first Christmas. Butterflies flying over flowers while flapping their colorful wings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Watching the sunset after a long sunny day. Bubble baths while enjoying a glass of champagne. Ice cream sundaes with lots of chocolate fudge. Enjoying a meal with friends and family. Wrapping Christmas gifts to share with family and friends. Sitting under a tree while rocking on a swing. These are a few of my favorite things.

French toast and mimosas for brunch. Watching Christmas movies in July. Reading a good book while lounging by the pool. Cuddling under a blanket with my favorite pooch. Singing Christmas carols while decorating the tree. Eating cake with lots of icing. These are a few of my favorite things.

Traveling to faraway places. Taking pictures both of castles and ladybugs. Spending time with my family. Visiting old churches and listening to mass in foreign languages. Taking a romantic stroll under the moonlight. Wearing charming earrings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Spending a quiet hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Writing on my journal. Looking at old family photos. Reading good Christian literature while learning about my faith. Picking wild flowers on a cool day of spring. These are a few of my favorite things.

Yes, I guess it worked. I don’t feel so sad anymore. Maybe I should jump on the bandwagon and start to decorate. The important thing to remember is that even if we cannot physically gather together, we can do so spiritually and with the help of technology. It is up to me not to allow what’s happening around me in the world to take away the joy of Christmas. I will not let it happen. So next time I start feeling a little blue, all I need to do is remember my favorite things, and then I won’t feel so sad.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Today, I Am Grateful

 “Give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thes 5:18

I keep telling myself, “tomorrow will be better than today.” It’s the mantra that has kept me from losing hope this year. I keep singing in my head the song from “Annie,” one of my favorite musicals: “The sun'll come out tomorrow so ya gotta hang on'til tomorrow come what may. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. You're always a day away.”

But until tomorrow gets here, I still have to get through today. And I have two choices. I can live today with a negative attitude, complaining about this horrible year and everything that has gone wrong, or I can live today with a positive attitude, counting my blessings and concentrating on the good things that have taken place instead of all the bad things.

As we approach Thanksgiving, I would like to choose the second option. In spite of 2020 being a crummy year, I still have a lot to be grateful for. Today is a gift. The past is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. But I can concentrate on living the best possible today. This is not easy because social media is constantly reminding me about all the bad things that have taken place this year, but if I get sucked into the past, all that this is going to cause is anxiety, depression and unhappiness. And if I obsess about the future, I am missing out on the good things that the present moment has.

So what am I thankful for today? Here’s my list. I have picked 20 things that I am grateful for in 2020. They are in no particular order. I hope that as you read it, you can come up with a list of your own:

1. Health. Even though some of my family members caught the coronavirus, it was simply, as my sister-in-law put it: “a cold with fear.” I am grateful that they all recovered and are doing fine today.
2. My children and my mom. Even though we have not been able to get together as much as we would have liked, we have found other innovative ways to stay in touch with our weekly Sunday video chats.
3. My hubby. He is my partner in the good and in the bad. I would not have been able to survive some parts of this year without him by my side. He kept me sane and in control. He held my hand and hugged me when I was down. Being quarantined together made me appreciate him even more. He reminds me to enjoy the present moment. 
4. My community of faith, my extended family and my friends who are just a phone or text away. Even when we couldn’t see each other, we kept each other company through prayer, text messages, emails, Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. Many of your encouraging messages and jokes helped me to make it through each day.
5. My 15-year-old miniature schnauzer, Penny. She kept me company and forced me to get out of the house to walk her around the block a few times each day.
6. My job. In spite of having to work from home, I stayed busy the entire year, and it made the days go by faster. Between helping clients with their SBA loan applications and their tax returns, I did not have a lot of time to think about the bad things happening around me. Therefore, I am grateful for my clients who place their trust in me, and for the three amazing ladies that help me get the job done. They never wavered during the pandemic, always kept a smile on their faces and a very positive attitude whether they had to work from home or be at the office covering the frontlines.
7. My home. I am grateful that we moved into an apartment before the pandemic. Yes, even though sharing the elevator with others sometimes was a bit scary, we survived in community. And, I had an amazing view from my balcony when staying indoors was the only option. Cleaning an apartment was also a lot easier than cleaning an entire house. Four hours and we were done. Cleaning the entire house would have taken an entire day, even if we skipped a few corners.
8. The late afternoon “happy hours.” After a long day of work, that wine and cheese shared in the balcony was music to my soul.
9. Simple things that I have in the past taken for granted... toilet paper, alcohol, hand sanitizer, facial tissue, wipes, disposable gloves, masks... it’s good to go to the supermarket and see that the shelves are fully stocked once again.
10. My bungalow at the beach. Every weekend felt like a mini-vacation. Getting away, walking on the beach and breathing the sea air was therapeutic. It’s what kept me sane during the toughest times.
11. Service personnel... healthcare workers, delivery persons, grocery shop workers, soldiers, firefighters, police officers, maintenance staff... they all had to put duty above personal safety. Hats off to all of you.
12. The people around me, especially those that were understanding, careful, wearing masks, keeping their safe distance and smiling because at the end of the day, we are all in this together.
13. Rest and relaxation. The lockdown gave me time to slow down and reflect on what it’s truly important in life. Life tends to spin by and I don’t even realize it. This year, I’ve had no choice but to rest and relax.
14. This pandemic taught me that I don’t need a lot of material things to be happy. I am more thankful now for the simplicity of my life. Being able to enjoy the sunrise, the sunset, a rainbow, the moon, the stars, a butterfly , a bird singing, finding a ladybug... is so much better than wasting money in things that I don’t really need. I have learned to cherish even a caterpillar walking on the sidewalk.
15. Living a healthy lifestyle. The first few months, I was eating all kinds of junk and I had no energy. Once I switched to eating more healthy, I feel so much better.
16. My blog and my journal. Being able to write my thoughts helps me to put things in perspective.
17. Books, puzzles, movies and some good television series kept me entertained when there was no place to go to.
18. Restaurants. I had not realized how nice it is to enjoy a meal prepared and served by someone else until we could not do it any more.
19. Freedom to vote, something that we take for granted but that a lot of countries lack. Even when the election got heated and the country was totally divided, I was thankful that I was able to cast my vote freely.
20. Last but not least, I am grateful to God for not giving up on me, and to my parents for instilling faith and religion in my life since I was little. Praying and believing that there is something greater than this life has made me survive this pandemic without living in constant fear of succumbing to this virus.

So as this year finally approaches its end, many of us are thinking “2021 will be better than 2020.” We are planning to throw buckets of water out the doors and windows at midnight on New Year’s Eve to get rid of everything bad that happened this year. But at the end of the day, we do not know what 2021 will bring. So let’s enjoy the present moment because that is all we have. Tomorrow is not here yet and yesterday is gone. Today is a gift so let’s concentrate on making it a great day. The sun has come out today. Today, today, I love you, today, because you are already here and I am grateful for this present moment. 

My Soul is Thirsty

 ”You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

When the pandemic began in March and the churches closed, we began to attend mass from our living room. The advantage of technology is that we could watch the live mass through You Tube without fear of catching the corona virus. Eventually, the churches reopened, but we were still weary of attending in person, thus, we continued watching from our living room.

This was all fine and dandy, except for the fact that we were not receiving the Body of Christ. Yes, we were receiving it spiritually, but it is not the same. Eventually, we found the courage to start attending mass in person once again. But somehow, laziness got the best of us. Mass is still being streamed live through You Tube, and it is so much easier just to watch it from our living room, especially on rainy days or if we are running late, that little by little we found that we were attending in person 25% of the time and the other 75%, we were just watching from home. The past couple of months, we have not returned to church. Yes, we are participating in the mass from our living room, sometimes live and sometimes after the fact, but it is definitely affecting my soul.

Today, the responsorial psalm was “My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God,” and that’s when it hit me. My soul is thirsty for God. My well is running dry. I need to return to church. I need to receive the Body of Christy, not just spiritually but sacramentally. I need a good confession.

Confession has been evading me this year. I tried to go before the pandemic began, just as Lent was beginning. The line was so long that the priest ran out of time. The following weekend, I planned to go earlier, and the churches closed down because of the pandemic. Then, I heard that St. Augustine was doing drive thru confessions. The day I decided to go, there was no one there. I checked online, and the Pope had prohibited drive thru confessions because of the lack of privacy. Finally, a couple of months ago, I made it on time before mass. The priest was doing confessions outside, a la pandemic. There was no line and only one lady was confessing. It was half an hour before mass so I figured I had plenty of time. Not so. The lady confessing kept going on and on and on. I guess she needed it more than me because by the time she finished, it was fifteen minutes before the mass. The priest gave me confession but it was like a fast food meal. He was rushing me and I got so nervous that I forgot all my sins. I said a couple and he gave me absolution. I know that it counted even for those sins that I had forgotten to mention, but I felt like I had not been satisfied. My soul remained thirsty.

Another thing that I’m missing tremendously is my Bible classes. We are not allowed to meet, therefore the classes are being held via Zoom. I had tried this Zoom thing back on the spring, and I simply didn’t like it at all. I had also been real busy with tax work, so I decided not to register. But now I feel like my thirst is not being quenched. The thirstier I’m becoming, the less I’m praying.

My soul is thirsting for You, my Lord. I have been feeling so spiritually dry lately. I need You, God. I need you to quench my thirst. I need to return to You because I know that You have not abandoned me. It is I who has turned my back on You. Please Lord, lead me back to You. I feel so empty. Help me to refill my well so my soul can be filled once again with your life-giving water. I love You, Lord. I need You, Lord. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.

My grandmother’s voice is whispering in my ear

“Our country is becoming so divided that it’s causing our family and our friends to become divided too. Most people detest our president, and who can blame them? His policies have widened the differences between the rich and the poor. He has aligned himself with the richest people, making them even richer. He is arrogant and he is practically becoming a dictator. Many people think that he has aligned himself with the Mafia. He also benefits from lucrative contracts with multinational companies.

The younger generations have started to demonstrate. Most of them are becoming very vocal about how they feel about our president. The media backs them up because they are also against our president. And how is our president reacting to all this? He is retaliating, of course. He is calling out the media and claiming that it’s all lies. It would not surprise me if he censors the media. And he has also given permission to police forces to do whatever it takes to stop the demonstrations, even if they have to kill. He wants to frighten the population through open displays of brutality. Just a few days ago, a group of insurrectionists, largely composed of students, launched a bloody attack on the presidential palace. We had to duck under the bed because we could hear the gunshots from our house. Dozens were reported killed in the fighting.”

These words could have easily been spoken by my grandmother in the late 1950s. She would have been talking about Fulgencio Batista, Cuba’s president from 1952 until 1959. My grandfather was completely against Batista. After all, the former president, Carlos Prio Socarras, whom Batista overthrew in a coup in 1952, was a frequent client at the tailoring shop where he worked. My grandfather heard about the coup while he was at a coffee shop near their house. He rushed back home to tell my grandmother. My mother had just left to school on the bus, which had to pass by the presidential palace. My grandmother took a taxi to the school, and she got there even before the bus did. Luckily, none of the children were injured, even though at one point the driver told them to lie down on the floor because he saw soldiers with rifles on the street. But he continued picking up children as if nothing was happening. By the time they got to the school, many parents were already there waiting to take them home. My mother was eleven years-old and she had never been so scared. My grandmother did not like Batista, and what was happening in our country, but one of her closest friends was his wife’s secretary, therefore she gave him the benefit of the doubt. My grandmother was more worried about who would come after Batista. She was of the opinion that “mas vale malo conocido que bueno por conocer” (a known evil is better than an unknown good).

I can’t help but think that sixty years later, we find ourselves in the same predicament. We have a president that most people detest. Our friends and families are becoming totally divided. It’s best not to post anything on social media because it becomes a battlefield of insults. Many people think that our president only cares about the rich, and that he doesn’t care about helping the middle class. Others feel that he has widened the differences between racial classes. They think that he has aligned himself with white supremacists and that his slogan of “Make America great again” is none other than “Make America white again.” They feel that we are more racially divided than ever. The racial tensions have caused a lot of people to turn against the police, even to the point that they are asking for the police to be defunded. And in the meantime, good police officers have become targets of out of control protesters. 

Many people are becoming very vocal about how they feel about our president, even to the point of wishing that he does not recover from Covid-19. The media is also against our president. Here in our country, at least up to now, the media cannot be censored, but our president is constantly saying that it’s all fake news. People are demonstrating on the street thus causing riots and destruction in many cities. Innocent people are getting killed during all these protests.

Unfortunately, sixty years ago, my grandmother was right. What came after Batista was devastating for our country. At first, people believed that Fidel Castro was the solution to all their problems. When his caravan arrived in Havana on January 8, 1959, people lined the streets to welcome their hero. He swaggered and spoke with passion until dawn. Finally, white doves were released to signal Cuba’s new government of peace. When one landed on Castro’s shoulder, the crowd erupted in near hysteria, chanting: “Fidel, Fidel!!!” To the Cubans gathered there and those watching on television, it was a sign that their young leader was destined to be their savior. How wrong they were.

My grandmother was not fooled. Shortly after Castro took power, she dismantled her seamstress shop which she had kept in her house for nearly thirty years, creating beautiful dresses for the elegant women of Havana’s society. She gave bonuses to all the ladies that worked for her and she closed shop. Maybe she had a premonition, or she simply realized that her clients were all rapidly fleeting to Miami, so she would soon not have anyone to sew for. I admire her wisdom because had she not done that, the new government would have confiscated her business and everything in it. At least, she was able to salvage her fabrics and her sewing machines by giving them away or selling them.

I wish she had followed her clients to Miami, but my mother had already met my father, and our story had to be written differently, otherwise, I may never have been born. My grandparents had to endure twelve painful years under the new government because they wanted to make sure that my mother and I got out, before they even applied for permission to leave. When we left in 1969, they applied and were able to join us in Spain three years later.

Today, I hear my grandmother’s voice whispering in my ear. I also do not like our current president. I think that he is arrogant and full of himself. I cringe every time he opens his mouth. But I am more worried about what will happen to our country if the far left liberals take power. I can’t help but agree with my grandmother that a known evil is better than an unknown good. I look at the younger generation and their passion to overthrow our current president any which way. And I worry. I hope with all my heart that I am wrong and that they are right. But my grandmother’s wise words keep humming in my head, like a storm that won’t subside. I hear her telling me:

“Socialism is knocking at your door. Do not open the door because it is the threshold to communism. It happened in your birth country, do not allow it to happen in the birth country of your children. They hated us because we owned our house but what they did not know is that it took thirty years of sweat and hard work for your grandfather and I to be able to save enough money to purchase that house. And once we did, they came and they stole it from us. They will hate you too, and they will hate your children because they are educated and they have good jobs. Those so called ‘peaceful’ demonstrations are just the precursor of what is to come. The young people do not believe that communism could happen in the United States because of the way that the government is set up with its system of check and balances. We also did not think that it could happen in Cuba because we were only 90 miles away from the United States and the Americans would not allow it. But it happened. This belief that it cannot happen to us is a common theme to all countries that have fallen under the yolk of communism, but unfortunately, it can happen anywhere.”

Lately, my memories of my childhood in Cuba are more vivid than ever. I remember not being able to pray freely. I could not talk about religion in my school or in public. I went to clandestine religion classes with the Sisters of Charity, hiding for fear of what would happen if we were discovered. And my grandmother’s voice reminds me: “Remember how empty the church was when we used to go to mass? People were afraid to be seen in a church. The same thing is already happening in the United States. People are ransacking the churches. They are being persecuted for their beliefs. Look at the nominee for the Supreme Court. She is being criticized simply because she is Christian. And this is just the beginning. If the socialists win, all religious ceremonies will be prohibited because socialism directly opposes religion. It has already started. God is being pushed out the door. The far left liberals want to remove Him from the Pledge of Allegiance. This country was founded as one nation under God. If socialism triumphs, it will no longer be under God.”

I wake up... it’s all a dream. But then I turn the television and I realize that it is not a dream.  My grandmother hoped that she was wrong in 1959, but she was not. I hope and pray that her words don’t hold true today, but I can’t help but remember a saying that she used to say a lot: “Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo.” (The devil is wiser because he is old, not because he is a devil.)

Ruined Plans and Shattered Dreams

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” —ISAIAH 41:10 NASB

There’s a saying that goes something like this:  “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.” God must be laughing hysterically this year because I just don’t know a single person whose plans have not been altered or ruined in 2020. In some instances, it was just minor inconveniences but for many people, their dreams have literally been shattered. 

By nature, I am a planner. I don’t like to live in the moment. I need to know in advance what I’m going to do next year. This 2020 has taught me that I’m not in control. Actually, God has tried to teach me that many times, I just don’t want to learn the lesson. 

This was going to be the year when we were going to start traveling overseas not once but twice a year. We decided to sell our house and move to a much smaller apartment with those plans in mind. So we started 2020 with big plans. In May we would go to Germany and in November to Argentina. By the end of January, we had our trip to Germany fully booked and planned day by day. By March, we knew that our plans had been ruined. We were not alone. Pretty much, everyone that had travel plans for 2020 saw their dreams go up in smoke. I guess I can’t complain since the airline reimbursed us for the full fare, but I still would have preferred to go to Germany. 

Worst than cancelled travel plans is not being able to see your family. I have not seen my oldest son and his wife in ten months. It’s the longest I’ve gone without seeing them. Even when they lived in California, we would see them a few times per year. I guess we could fly to New York. I know many people that are taking flights within the country. But when you have a family member with a serious health condition, we have to balance the desire to see our son with the risks involved.

One of my closest friends has not been able to see her daughter since December. She left to Australia on a one-year visa which has turned into two years. My friend had planned to meet up with her during Holy Week in Dubai and then she was planning a three-week trip to Australia in August. Now she has no idea if she’ll be able to at least see her daughter during Christmas. And my sister-in-law has not seen my nephew since February. He lives in California and hopefully will be able to come over in November. And that story repeats itself in family after family. Grandparents that have not been able to meet their newborn grandkids. And so many of our elderly confined to nursing homes without seeing their family members in six months.

I know a few persons that are less than ten years from retirement and now have been laid off. They are scrambling to find health insurance because finding another job at their age when there are so many people unemployed is nearly impossible. All their dreams have been shattered in the blink of an eye. Now they have to tap into their retirement funds just to make ends meet. All those plans to work five or six more years until they could qualify for Medicare and social security, and then start enjoying their retirement years traveling or spending time visiting their kids and grandkids, have been demolished.

Being enclosed in close quarters has put more than one marriage through the fire, and some have not survived. And at this point, most of us either know someone that has lost their life because of Covid-19, or we know someone that has lost a loved one. A friend lost her husband this week. Another friend lost his grandfather last month. Even if we manage to get together with our loved ones this Thanksgiving, many people are not going to have a lot to be thankful for this year.

But in spite of all these ruined plans and shattered dreams, there is one constant in our lives, and that is God. Yes, we plan and God laughs, but I honestly don’t think that God is laughing this year. I think that He is crying with us. But He wants us to know that He is not going anywhere and that we can rely on Him. Even if we had to cancel our travel plans, we will be able to travel once again because just like the Spanish flu of 1918 didn’t last forever, this 2020 virus will also come to an end. We will be able to reunite with our family members that live far from us and we will be able to hug them again. We will get to visit our elderly once again. Grandparents will meet their grandkids. God will provide for those that have lost their jobs because when one door closes, another one opens much wider. And to those whose marriages have ended during this pandemic, allow God to be your beacon and He will lead you out of the turbulence your heart is experiencing right now.

This year has been filled with fear and uncertainty, but if we grab unto the Lord, we shall not fear. However, if we have pushed God out of our lives, then we will live in fear of everything. The biggest fear we are facing today is the fear of death. We fear catching the virus and dying. And even worst, we fear losing a loved one because of the virus. And many have already experienced it. But if we remember that death is inevitable and we will all have to experience it at one point or another because death is universal, then we can relax. Of course, nobody wants to die today and nobody wants to lose a loved one today, but if we have a close relationship with God then we know that death is not the end, it’s the beginning. If we believe that Jesus resurrected, then we know that He has the power to raise us and that we are destined to live forever with Him. So to those that have lost a loved one this year, all I can say is to grab unto the Lord and He will give you the reassurance that your loved one is not dead, your loved one is alive in paradise.

Let us not allow our ruined plans and shattered dreams to define this year for us. When Thanksgiving rolls around in less than three months, my hope is that we will all have something to be thankful for. In spite of whatever suffering we have experienced, if we hand our shattered dreams to the Lord, He can turn them into something good. If we place our ruined plans at the foot of the cross, He will help us to navigate through our difficulties. God knows that 2020 has hit most people really hard, and He is not laughing because our plans were ruined, He just wants us to trust Him that from these ashes, we will all rise. 

The Worst of Us, The Best of Us

“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best.” Marilyn Monroe 

I feel like this pandemic has brought to the surface the best and the worst from each of us. Back in March, when all this exploded and most of us started working from home, I must confess that I was utterly terrified. How would I survive being cooped up inside a two-bedroom apartment with my hubby 24/7? I was certain that this could only end in disaster. And the first week, absolutely proved it. One night, we were having dinner with a glass of wine. I accidentally hit the glass, it shattered, and the wine spilled all over the granite countertop. Luckily, it did not fall on us or the upholstered chairs, but it was sufficient to ignite a huge fight. “Not good,” I thought. “We are not going to survive this pandemic together.”

Since what goes around comes around, and God certainly has a sense of humor, guess who broke the wine glass the following night. You got it. The hubby hit the glass and it went flying. Not only that, there was red wine all over the chairs and on the marble floor, which absorbed it as if it was a drunk desperate for a drink. I could have gotten upset about the floor and the chairs, but instead, I just laughed hysterically. God had taken care of this little battle for me. I also discovered that a mixture of baking soda and water peroxide is a miraculous combination to get rid of red wine stains. 

After that first week, though, I must say that we found our rhythm. I would lock myself in the guest room where I set up my office, and the hubby took over the rest of the apartment. We figured that in order to survive, we had to separate our work spaces. And yes, we’ve had our occasional fights and arguments, but to my surprise, for the most part, we have been dancing to the same tune.

One thing that happened, though, is that the longer I stayed locked inside the house, I began to look as if I was homeless. The beauty salons were closed so my hair was more white than brown. My nails began to chip and break. Makeup? What for? Since I stopped wearing jewelry, at one point I couldn’t even use my rings. It’s as if my fingers had doubled up in size from washing my hands twenty times per day. I was wearing baggy pants and t-shirts because it was just more comfortable than dressing up. And the worst part was that the scale was on an upward race. I gained eight pounds in two months. When I mentioned this to a friend, she said: “oh come on, you are still skinny.” Maybe to the rest of the world, but not to me. One day in May, right before the beauty salons reopened, I looked in the mirror and I was flabbergasted by what I saw. And yes, I get it, beauty is on the inside, but come on, we all like to look good on the outside too.

At that point, I made a decision. Even if I continued working from home, I was going to take care of how I looked. No more raggedy Christy. The first thing I did was sign up with Shape Lovers, a healthy meal plan. And even though it took just two months to gain eight pounds, boy, how hard it is to lose them. It’s as if they got attached to certain parts of my body with cement and I just can’t get rid of them. Three months later, I have finally lost seven, but the last one evades me to no end. By Friday, I’m almost there, but on the weekend, I regain two. What a rollercoaster. Life used to be better before forty when I could eat anything and not gain an ounce. I was determined not to eat ice cream until I reached my goal, but this weekend, my resolve melted and I just couldn’t resist the vanilla ice cream that came with the chocolate bread pudding. Oh well, it’s Monday again. I have five days to get back into shape.

Luckily, the beauty salons have not been shut down so my hair is not white anymore and my nails are not falling apart. I force myself to put on at the very least my rings and earrings. I’m using hand cream to prevent wrinkles from so much hand-washing. And even though I’m not wearing my office clothing, I’m also keeping my baggy pants and t-shirts in the closet. I went on an online shopping spree over the 4th of July weekend, which also happened to be my birthday, and I bought myself a few nice shorts and tops in my pre-pandemic size because yes, I am determined to get back to my pre-pandemic weight.

As far as the hubby is concerned, we are still dancing to the same tune. Even though he may blow up over a broken glass, he prepares our breakfast every morning, which includes a ham and cheese omelette, and a yogurt parfait with fruits and honey. He is also a great chef and can whip up some delicious meals, and when our cleaning lady stopped coming, he helped me clean the house every Saturday. On my part, I’ve made sure not to break any more wine glasses... of course, as part of our “Shape Lovers” diet we gave up wine on the weekdays so less chances to break a glass. Yes, we still get on each other’s nerves once in a while, but after being married 36 years that’s perfectly allowed. Like Marilyn Monroe said: “We have handled each other at our worst,” we have certainly seen each other at our lowest point, and now, we are enjoying each other’s company at our prime. Yes, that is what I have decided to call our golden years... our prime. We have discovered that the best things in life don’t have to be complicated. Ending our day watching “Heartland,” a Netflix show that has us hooked, and looking forward to the weekend so we can have a good non-diet meal and a glass of wine has become the highlight of our life. But boy, I do miss traveling, going to a show, eating inside a nice restaurant, and especially, I miss getting together with friends, and spending time with my family. But for now, I am content. Life is good. And this pandemic... this too shall pass.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Underneath the Surface

“You have learned to thank Me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing Me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts.” 

Sarah Young, November 29th Meditation from “Jesus Calling”

“What has been the worst year in your life?” When asked this question, the year that immediately comes to my mind is 2009. That was the year when our lives were turned upside down. It was the year when being awake in the middle of the night became the norm rather than the exception. It was the year when we had to cancel the three trips that we had planned: Maryland to attend our cousin’s graduation from the US Naval Academy, a wedding in New York, and our 25th wedding anniversary trip to Turks and Caicos. That was also the year where we spent many days meeting with doctors, and visiting a hospital with restricted visits. And that was the year where our son was not able to finish his school year. It sounds very familiar. Our 2009 is what 2020 has turned out to be for most people. 

Yes, 2020 has been the year when everyone’s lives have been turned upside down. It’s the year when sleep evades us because we are filled with anxiety. Most people have had to cancel their travel plans this year. We also had plans: a trip to Germany and Austria in the spring, and a trip to Argentina in the fall. Both have been cancelled. 2020 has been the year where many people have had to visit a doctor, or where many have had loved ones in the hospital without being able to visit them. It’s also been the year where all students were not able to finish their school year in a classroom.

But for me, as bad as 2020 has turned out to be, 2009 was still ten times worst. That was the year when our son was diagnosed with a mental disorder. We had to withdraw him from school less than one month before he could complete his sophomore year in the university. He spent one week in a hospital in New Jersey that specialized in mental disorders. My husband had to jump on a plane to go be with him, only to find out that he was only able to visit him two hours per day. After one week, we were able to bring him to Miami. He had doctor visits three times a week for the next six months. And I went with him to most of those visits.

There were days when I lost all hope. I did not know if we would be able to save him. I felt that I was losing my son. And it was the first time that I recall being so angry at God. I kept asking Him, “Why? Why? Why?” And I could not hear Him answer me. I felt like He had turned His back on us.

But even though I could not see it, God was working underneath the surface. He had a special plan for my son, and He also had a plan for me. As He was putting us through the fire, He was preparing us to help out in an area where He needed a lot of help.

Today, my son is not afraid to speak up about his mental illness. He has participated in national conferences where he has spoken in front of hundreds of people about what happened to him. He has been part of panels where he has spoken about mental illness, and where he has brought hope to others that are going through what he went through. He is not cured, but he has learned to manage his illness, and in the process, he is helping others by bringing them hope through his testimony.

I also learned a lot about mental illness on that fateful 2009. I read every book that I could get my hands on. I did a lot of research about bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. And I got involved with an organization in Miami that was just starting out. At first, I joined them because I needed support. Now, eleven years later, I’m still involved because I have realized that there are so many parents that need support. Little did I know that my worst year would turn into such a blessing because both my son and I would be able to help so many others that had lost hope. I am currently reading a book titled “Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness” by Pete Earley. The more I read, the more I realize how blessed we were in 2009. That entire year, God was working underneath the surface. When I thought that He had turned His back on us, He was carrying us.

That is why, as I traverse through this 2020, and I hear people say, “Where is God in all this? Why would He allow this pandemic?” I tell them: “Don’t despair. God has a plan. He has not abandoned us. He is very much present in our lives. We can only see the surface, but He is working underneath the surface. And He is carrying us.”

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

The Butterfly Effect

“You have been created in order that you might make a difference. You have within you the power to change the world.” Andy Andrews, “The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters”

When I found out yesterday that Ortanique, one of my favorite restaurants, would be closing its doors because they could not survive the economic crisis created by Covid-19, I was very affected. “Who will be next?”I asked myself. “Caffe Abbracci? Joe’s Stone Crab?”

Today, the priest mentioned in his homily “the butterfly effect” which in summary is the idea that small things can have an impact on a complex system. The concept is imagined with a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil and causing a tornado in Texas. Of course, a single act like the butterfly flapping its wings cannot cause a tornado. Small events can, however, serve as catalysts that act on causing catastrophic conditions.

Benjamin Franklin offered a poetic perspective, long before the identification of the butterfly effect:

“For want of a nail the shoe was lost,

For want of a shoe the horse was lost,

For want of a horse the rider was lost,

For want of a rider the battle was lost,

For want of a battle the kingdom was lost,

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.”

The lack of one horseshoe nail could be inconsequential, or it could indirectly cause the loss of a war. There is no way to predict which outcome will occur.

We don’t really know how the Covid-19 virus began. There are lots of theories out there. My favorite is that it started in a lab in China, and a cleaning worker who had no food to offer his family stole a bat from the lab that had been infected with the virus. He took it home, fed his family, and sold the remains in the village market. And thus, the virus was spread first to their neighborhood, then to their city, then to their country, and eventually, to the entire world. And like the butterfly effect, a bat from China had a catastrophic effect on the entire world.

But just like one bad action can cause destruction, one good action can have a ripple effect that can repair the damage. Yes, we have a virus from China that has caused much destruction, but this has also caused an opposite reaction. Many people have come forward to help our community. Camillus House has a program called “Casserole Out of Kindness” in which individuals, religious groups and other organizations are invited to provide nutritious meals to the hungry and/or homeless in our community. Recently, a student from Belen was shown on Instagram making a meal from his home to donate to this program. The Key Clubhouse of Miami had to close its doors during the pandemic, which meant that many of its members would not be able to have access to a daily meal or to transportation to be able to go buy what they needed from a grocery store. Many came forward to donate food to its members, including my Belen Emmaus sisters. All I had to do was send a text to a few, and this caused such a ripple effect that we filled up their entire van with groceries.

The boycott to the Goya products caused the opposite reaction for many and they started a buycott. Many people started buying Goya products to donate to Food Banks around the country. One of these generous persons is Jack Fleming, a 14-year-old who has autism. He wrote on his Facebook page: “I used my money and my parents gave me money to buy lots of Goya stuff and donate it to food pantries. Because I am an American and I love Americans and guess what, I don't care if this food feeds democrats or republicans. We are all American and that is what should matter.” Yes, just like there’s destruction, there is also reparation and restoration.

Next weekend, we celebrate the feast of St. Anne, our Lady’s mother. I am praying a novena to her asking her to intercede for our country and our world. Today’s prayer went like this:

“O St. Anne, you are my spiritual grandmother. Please pray for me! 

I come to you today asking that you pray for me to see God’s goodness in my life, just the way that it is. 

It is easy for me to forget about the blessings that do exist in my life while I pray for another one. 

It is easy for me to forget about the beauty that does exist in my life while I focus on what is lacking.

Instead, I ask you to please pray for me today that I may be present in each moment, and that I may be open to seeing God’s goodness, beauty, and loving hand in my day -- just as it is.

Please pray that I may be able to live in the present, and not to dwell on the past or the future.”

Yes, in the midst of these difficult times, I may be more inclined to focus on the negative rather than the positive. It may be easier to cry about what I have lost instead of concentrating on the blessings that I receive from God each and every day. I may want to cry over those restaurants that are closing without thinking that there were many before them that I used to love too and they closed for different reasons, like Crepe St. Michel, Le Festival, Rogers on the Green, Whiffenpoof or Chef Allen. And from their ashes, many good new restaurants emerged. So yes, we are losing some very good restaurants like Ortanique, but there will be others that will emerge out of their ashes. When one door closes, another one opens, so we must keep life moving forward spreading kindness everywhere we go. One little action today may make our world a much better place tomorrow. 

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.