Pushing Meaningless Busy Out of my Life

“COME AWAY WITH ME for a while. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer people push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me.

You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better: more meetings, more programs, more activity.” 

Sarah Young in “Jesus Calling”

After spending Lent somewhat disconnected from the world, now I feel a little lost. After being off Facebook, Instagram, negative media and political newsfeeds for fifty days, I’m afraid to turn them on again. At first, I must confess that I was experiencing FOMO. I told my daughter to keep me informed of anything important that was announced on Facebook. But after a while, I stopped asking, and I actually felt liberated. Now, I feel like I have returned from a long journey to the mountains where there was no internet nor media, and I am trying to reconnect with what happened while I was gone.

The first day I entered the world of Facebook, I had so many notifications that I turned it off immediately. I just could not deal with it. I felt bombarded and I just did not feel ready to rekindle my relationship with social media just yet. I realized during Lent that spending time scrolling through my newsfeed leaves me empty. It was just a way to keep busy doing meaningless activities. I excused myself by saying that I get so busy during tax season that at the end of the day, I can give myself a break. But I have come to realize that kind of meaningless busy ends up making me feel more overwhelmed and tired, than when I’m busy doing something productive.

I know that I cannot shut down Facebook completely because otherwise I get completely disconnected from the rest of the world which is also not a good thing. We are meant to live in community, not like hermits. Nowadays, everyone announces their family news through Facebook, especially during this pandemic when we could not see each other in person. New babies are introduced through Facebook or Instagram. Pregnancies and engagements are announced in social media. We attend weddings by enjoying the pictures that get posted, and it’s also a great way to remind us of birthdays.

When we went to the Holy Land, I tried to post my blog and photos during the trip because I knew a lot of people had asked me to do so. They had not been able to go on the trip physically but I took them with me spiritually. I even took their prayer requests with me to place on the Western Wall. But I promised myself that was all I would do in social media. After all, we were on pilgrimage so I did not want to get distracted with what was happening on the outer world. Honestly, there was hardly any time for distractions. I barely had time to write on my blog and post the photos. But a week after we returned, while trying to catch up with Facebook, I found out that a cousin had passed away. Sadly, even deaths get now announced through social media. We don’t call nor text each other anymore for these announcements. I did get a few texts from close friends and family during Lent because they knew that I was off social media. My cousin reached out to me directly to let me know that her daughter had gotten engaged; a friend sent me photos from her son’s wedding; my sister-in-law messaged me to share with me the good news that my nephew had received an important award. I really appreciated this direct contact but I do understand that it is so much easier to announce it to hundreds at once than to have to call or text one hundred different people. However, we have definitely lost that personal touch.

Now, as I try to find my balance and push meaningless busy activities out of my life, I am enjoying a much slower pace. Today, I am just sitting by the pool, enjoying a good fiction book, and writing this blog post as inspiration hits me, sometimes simply by a phrase on the book. I have reached out to a few persons, but not through social media. I talked to my friends in Madrid through WhatsApp. I messaged my cousin in Orense. I talked to my mom on the phone. I texted with my daughter. And I have not so much as checked Facebook not even once. Last night I did, but only for a little while. I am finding a balance between meaningless busy and productive busy. I do plenty of productive busy during the day, so I can treat myself for a bit of meaningless busy, but when it takes over all my free time, then it’s time to stop and take inventory of my life. Do I want to spend the rest of my life wasting my time? Or should I ask God what does He want me to do with the rest of my life? I am certain that He has something more productive in mind for me. And it doesn’t need to take away all my free time. 

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

My 50-Day Journey... From my Head to my Heart ❤️

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Three years ago, I went on a Lenten pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I spent ten days following Jesus’ footsteps from His birthplace in Bethlehem to the site of His crucifixion in Jerusalem. This year, I went on a different Lenten pilgrimage. Even though I never even left Miami, I have been on a 50-day journey that took me from my head to my heart. 

This past year has been a nightmare to say the least. Our world as we knew it was turned upside down. And little by little, I lost my focus during the pandemic. I felt like I had lost my purpose. I was moving on autopilot. I was filling up my days with meaningless activities that left me feeling empty. I had to do something drastic in order to rediscover my direction. I knew that the most important thing that I had to do was to empty my head from the bombardment of the outer world. Therefore, the first thing I did was to disconnect completely from social media. Once in a while, we need to disconnect to be able to reconnect. The time I used to spend on social media, I redirected it to doing something more useful. It just so happens that in December, my Emmaus sister, Ileana, gave me a book titled “I Heard God Laugh” by Matthew Kelly. A few days before Ash Wednesday, I saw it on top of my nightstand. I grabbed it, and on the back cover, I read that Matthew Kelly was leading a Lenten journey based on the book. It was just the invitation I needed. I signed up and my life was finally turned right side up. 

Every day in the morning, during the time that I used to spend on social media, I would listen to the 3-minute video by Matthew Kelly.  Then I would read the video transcript and read the section of the book that the video was referring to. I also read a reflection from Loyola Press, “Living Lent Daily,” which Godincidentally complemented perfectly with the video message. On some days, depending on how much time I set aside to spend with God, I also read the daily reading and the meditation by Bishop Robert Barron. At night, I would also set aside ten minutes to spend with Jesus in the sacred garden of silence. Many nights, time would just fly, and before I realized it, the ten minutes had turned into thirty or sixty. 

The first night that I grabbed my journal, I realized that I had not written anything since before the pandemic. And my journal is the way I connect to Jesus because I like to talk to Him by writing to Him. This meant that I had not had a deep conversation with Him in more than a year.  Yes, I have not stopped praying through the pandemic, but pretty much, I was praying on autopilot. I was reciting prayers, one after another, without engaging into any meaningful conversation with My Friend. This 50-day journey changed all that. I have been writing letters to Jesus almost daily. I have made time to sit in my inner sacred garden with Him. The evenings have turned out to be the best time to share my day with God. The time when the sun is going to sleep in the horizon, is the time that I have set aside to communicate with My Friend Jesus. I have shown up for our daily conversations, no matter how the world has been trying to pull me in a different direction. This new habit that I have finally developed, has helped me to find my inner peace. And I feel completely renewed. During this 50-day journey, not only have I reconnected with myself, I have also rekindled my friendship with Jesus, whom I had sort of pushed aside during the pandemic.

I usually do not enjoy Lent, but this year it has been such a reawakening for me, that I did not want it to end. Now that it’s over, what will I do? Will I go back to spending the first minutes of my day scrolling through Facebook? Am I going to put away the spiritual literature that I’ve been reading until next Lent? Should I push Jesus once again to the back burner and only pray to Him in a rush? 

I guess that just because Lent is over, I do not need to go back to filling up my days with pointless activities. As I begin the fifty days of the Easter season, my goal is to find the right balance between what I like to do and what I should be doing. I am not going to shut the door to social media completely. After all, Rafi and Emily work for Facebook so I should support the company that is putting bread on their table. But ironically, Rafi and Emily rarely post on Facebook. They don’t waste time scrolling through their Facebook newsfeed. Facebook is their job not their passion. So I am going to imitate them. I will use Facebook as my platform to share my writings and meditations. But I will not waste my days scrolling through Facebook. I will also find a balance between reading historical fiction books which I enjoy reading and spiritual books that fill my soul and leave me feeling full as opposed to empty. I just bought myself a new book titled “Busy Lives and Restless Souls” by Becky Eldredge. I think it’s the perfect book to help me find the balance that I’m yearning for.

I did not travel 6,500 miles during this Lent to visit the Holy Land, but I feel the journey to go from my head to my heart was even longer. I am so glad that I took these fifty days to disconnect from the world. As I emptied my head from all the nonsense that is constantly bombarding it, my heart became filled with a peace that I had not experienced in a very long time. It’s a peace that I can only experience when I’m fully connected to God. I had not realized how thirsty I was for His Love until it began to pour into my heart like a fresh wave, making it overflow with happiness. I am not going to push Jesus to the back burner simply because Lent is over. I am ready to fill my empty head once again, but this time, I will be picky, like a gardener separating flowers from weeds. I will choose which thoughts will remain in my head, and which ones will be pushed out to be carried away like a feather being carried by the wind. I will stop running on autopilot and I will allow God to guide me in whatever direction He wants to lead me. I know that He will only choose a path that connects my head and my heart with the joy that I have experienced in these past fifty days.

Hindsight is 2020

“I’m beginning to think that the phrase ‘hindsight is 20/20’ was a message from a future time traveler that we all misunderstood.” Unknown

Do I really want to look back at 2020? Wouldn’t it just be best to forget all about it? After all, every single day has been like listening to a broken record that keeps repeating all the bad things that have happened this year. 

As we finish this crazy and wacky year, I would like to reminisce, not about all the bad things, but about the blessings that we have received. Yes, even amidst the darkest days, there were moments when the stars were shining bright. After all, it is in the darkest night when we can best see the brightest stars. 

This year brought a lot of new babies. I have a lot of friends and cousins that became grandparents for the first time this year, and a few others that added new grandchildren to their flock. Those babies are by far the biggest blessing of 2020. 

As far as weddings, 2020 was quite wacky. I know so many couples that had to postpone their special day, not once but twice. In the end, many opted for the ceremony even if they had to postpone the reception. They will be able to tell their children and grandchildren for years to come that they got married in the midst of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. 

We learned to appreciate what truly matters. We realized that having a lot of material things is not as important as having health; having a lot of money is not as important as being alive; luxuries are not our possessions but our family and friends; we learned that a hug and a kiss from a loved one is worth more than all the gold in the world; and we realize now that being able to breathe without a mask is a luxury that we took for granted.

We had to reinvent ourselves in 2020. Most of us learned what a “zoom” meeting is, and this brought us more international connections. We learned to work from home, and in the process, realized how much time we used to waste commuting and in pointless meetings. Parents became teachers, and are now masters at multi-tasking because they had no choice but to balance work and a toddler at the same time. We also learned to place more value on teachers and what they provide for our children.

We discovered the resilience of the human spirit. Yes, this year brought a lot of suffering and grief, but we learned to move forward beyond our pain. And we learned to reach out to others in need. I have been in touch with many more people than in past years, maybe not face-to-face but I have reached out to them either through social media, zoom, WhatsApp or by phone. I have prayed for friends, family and complete strangers. And when it was our family’s turn to experience health issues, we received countless messages and phone calls from those same friends and family, as well as prayers from them and from complete strangers.

We found more time for ourselves in the solitude. We have become masters at organization, having our houses tidier than they’ve ever been. We were able to read that book that we had been putting off for lack of time. We learned to enjoy a good movie without interruption. We found time to play with our children and our spouses. We began to cherish our houses and turn them into homes. We were able to have dinner earlier and therefore sleep longer. In the midst of the stress the world was experiencing, we learned to relax. 

We saw people shine bright in the midst of crisis, especially the frontline workers. Even while under-protected, they showed true compassion, courage and empathy towards those under their care. People opened their hearts and their wallets to help those in need. My church has a pantry to help families in need. They used to help about 50 families. The count is now close to 200 families, but donations keep pouring in and every week they can provide meals to all these families that are struggling financially.

We made time to pray. Many persons whose faith had become stagnant, returned to God in 2020. They began to pray, first for family members that became sick, then for friends, and eventually, without even realizing it, they were praying on a regular basis, and their relationship with God strengthened.

Without a doubt, everyone will remember 2020 as a tragic year, but every cloud has a silver lining. In spite of the sadness and grief, if we really take a look in hindsight, we have also received a lot of blessings. This is what I’m trying to focus on as I bid good-bye to 2020 and ring-in 2021.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

2020 has turned me into a homey

“If they just called it the ‘stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media, things would be completely back to normal by now.” The Super Mom Life

“Let’s go for a walk at Las Olas.”

“Do we have to?”

A couple of years ago, I would have probably been the one to say the first sentence and my hubby would have replied with the second one. But on Sunday, it was the other way around. I was still in my PJs, enjoying the movie “White Christmas” on Netflix, when the hubby came up with the great idea to go to Las Olas. The pre-2020 me would have jumped with excitement, but 2020 has turned me into a homey, and I just wanted to stay home to finish watching the movie. 

I have friends that like to eat dinner very early, like around 5 pm. I used to make fun of them. I would tell them all the time, “you guys have become a couple of senior citizens.” Every time we went on a cruise together, they wanted the early sitting and we wanted the late sitting. The other day, my friend called me at 8, and she said, “I waited to call you because I know you have dinner around 7.” I started laughing and told her that I had turned into her: “We are now having dinner at 5, like you guys. This is what staying home has done to us. We have joined the senior citizens club.”

Turning into a homey has made staying home during the pandemic more bearable. I can be happy staying home reading a good book, watching a movie, playing Rummikub or doing a puzzle. I can find many ways to entertain myself. However, having a balance is also very necessary because life happens outside my four walls. 

The thing that I miss the most is my community of friends and family that I can’t see as often as I would like, and when I do see them we have to be wearing masks and keeping our distance. I am not a very hugging or touching kind of person, but when 2020 began, I made a list of 20 resolutions. Two of these resolutions were: “I will spend less time on social media and more time face-to-face with those that truly matter,” and “I will hug my loved ones more.” Obviously, 2020 had the last laugh because by the third month of the year, those two resolutions had to be thrown out the window. And never in my life have I felt like hugging someone more than this year.

Therefore, as much as I sometimes just want to stay home, I miss my people. I miss spending face-to-face time with those I love. I miss hugging them. I miss going to my “live” Bible classes. I miss sitting down in a packed movie theater. I miss going to a full church on Christmas morning and holding hands to pray the “Our Father.” I miss giving the sign of peace to others by shaking their hands or kissing those I know, instead of waving from afar. I miss going to a crowded mall where I have to avoid bumping into people not for fear of catching a virus but because there is practically not enough room to walk.

I did allow the hubby to convince me to get out of the house on Sunday, and we went to Las Olas. It was not as crowded as it normally would have been at this time of year, but there were quite a number of people, and most of them, without masks.  Of course, this made me want to run back home, but we stayed. We walked around, wearing not one but two masks, and avoiding people as much as we could. We took a stroll down the River Walk, and ended up sitting at a cafe, outdoors, of course. We enjoyed a glass of wine and some tapas, while watching the boats cruise down the river and the people promenading with their dogs, their kids, or their loved ones.

For a couple of hours, we were able to forget that we are still living a pandemic nightmare. And that is why, for 2021, I am only making one resolution: “I will push myself out the door and stop being the homey I have become.” Life keeps happening and people keep enjoying it, despite COVID-19. I will take precautions, but I will not stop living for fear of catching “the virus.” I will get out of my comfort zone and enjoy the great outdoors, because after all, we do live in a town with the most amazing weather during the winter. So I vow that 2021, will return me to enjoy being “out-of-the-house.“

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

A Few of my Favorite Things

“When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” The Sound of Music

This week I have been feeling a little blue. I started thinking about Christmas, my favorite holiday, and it made me sad that this year we will be apart from most of our family. Rafi and Emily will be spending it in New York. Alex and Keely in Kentucky. And just like on Thanksgiving, the extended family will separate into smaller groups to minimize the spread of Covid-19. For me, Christmas is about gathering with friends and family, going to mass together, exchanging gifts and sharing a meal together. This year, we will not be able to gather. I haven’t even started decorating simply because I have not been in the mood.

One of my favorite movies is “The Sound of Music.” I can watch it hundreds of times and it never gets old. I love the music, so as I sit here melancholic, I remember the lyrics of one of its songs: “When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” Let’s see it it’s true. 

Sunrises at the beach and rainbows after a rainstorm. Walking by the seashore while holding hands with my hubby. Sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold winter morning. Staring at a Nativity scene while remembering the first Christmas. Butterflies flying over flowers while flapping their colorful wings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Watching the sunset after a long sunny day. Bubble baths while enjoying a glass of champagne. Ice cream sundaes with lots of chocolate fudge. Enjoying a meal with friends and family. Wrapping Christmas gifts to share with family and friends. Sitting under a tree while rocking on a swing. These are a few of my favorite things.

French toast and mimosas for brunch. Watching Christmas movies in July. Reading a good book while lounging by the pool. Cuddling under a blanket with my favorite pooch. Singing Christmas carols while decorating the tree. Eating cake with lots of icing. These are a few of my favorite things.

Traveling to faraway places. Taking pictures both of castles and ladybugs. Spending time with my family. Visiting old churches and listening to mass in foreign languages. Taking a romantic stroll under the moonlight. Wearing charming earrings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Spending a quiet hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Writing on my journal. Looking at old family photos. Reading good Christian literature while learning about my faith. Picking wild flowers on a cool day of spring. These are a few of my favorite things.

Yes, I guess it worked. I don’t feel so sad anymore. Maybe I should jump on the bandwagon and start to decorate. The important thing to remember is that even if we cannot physically gather together, we can do so spiritually and with the help of technology. It is up to me not to allow what’s happening around me in the world to take away the joy of Christmas. I will not let it happen. So next time I start feeling a little blue, all I need to do is remember my favorite things, and then I won’t feel so sad.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Today, I Am Grateful

 “Give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thes 5:18

I keep telling myself, “tomorrow will be better than today.” It’s the mantra that has kept me from losing hope this year. I keep singing in my head the song from “Annie,” one of my favorite musicals: “The sun'll come out tomorrow so ya gotta hang on'til tomorrow come what may. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. You're always a day away.”

But until tomorrow gets here, I still have to get through today. And I have two choices. I can live today with a negative attitude, complaining about this horrible year and everything that has gone wrong, or I can live today with a positive attitude, counting my blessings and concentrating on the good things that have taken place instead of all the bad things.

As we approach Thanksgiving, I would like to choose the second option. In spite of 2020 being a crummy year, I still have a lot to be grateful for. Today is a gift. The past is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. But I can concentrate on living the best possible today. This is not easy because social media is constantly reminding me about all the bad things that have taken place this year, but if I get sucked into the past, all that this is going to cause is anxiety, depression and unhappiness. And if I obsess about the future, I am missing out on the good things that the present moment has.

So what am I thankful for today? Here’s my list. I have picked 20 things that I am grateful for in 2020. They are in no particular order. I hope that as you read it, you can come up with a list of your own:

1. Health. Even though some of my family members caught the coronavirus, it was simply, as my sister-in-law put it: “a cold with fear.” I am grateful that they all recovered and are doing fine today.
2. My children and my mom. Even though we have not been able to get together as much as we would have liked, we have found other innovative ways to stay in touch with our weekly Sunday video chats.
3. My hubby. He is my partner in the good and in the bad. I would not have been able to survive some parts of this year without him by my side. He kept me sane and in control. He held my hand and hugged me when I was down. Being quarantined together made me appreciate him even more. He reminds me to enjoy the present moment. 
4. My community of faith, my extended family and my friends who are just a phone or text away. Even when we couldn’t see each other, we kept each other company through prayer, text messages, emails, Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. Many of your encouraging messages and jokes helped me to make it through each day.
5. My 15-year-old miniature schnauzer, Penny. She kept me company and forced me to get out of the house to walk her around the block a few times each day.
6. My job. In spite of having to work from home, I stayed busy the entire year, and it made the days go by faster. Between helping clients with their SBA loan applications and their tax returns, I did not have a lot of time to think about the bad things happening around me. Therefore, I am grateful for my clients who place their trust in me, and for the three amazing ladies that help me get the job done. They never wavered during the pandemic, always kept a smile on their faces and a very positive attitude whether they had to work from home or be at the office covering the frontlines.
7. My home. I am grateful that we moved into an apartment before the pandemic. Yes, even though sharing the elevator with others sometimes was a bit scary, we survived in community. And, I had an amazing view from my balcony when staying indoors was the only option. Cleaning an apartment was also a lot easier than cleaning an entire house. Four hours and we were done. Cleaning the entire house would have taken an entire day, even if we skipped a few corners.
8. The late afternoon “happy hours.” After a long day of work, that wine and cheese shared in the balcony was music to my soul.
9. Simple things that I have in the past taken for granted... toilet paper, alcohol, hand sanitizer, facial tissue, wipes, disposable gloves, masks... it’s good to go to the supermarket and see that the shelves are fully stocked once again.
10. My bungalow at the beach. Every weekend felt like a mini-vacation. Getting away, walking on the beach and breathing the sea air was therapeutic. It’s what kept me sane during the toughest times.
11. Service personnel... healthcare workers, delivery persons, grocery shop workers, soldiers, firefighters, police officers, maintenance staff... they all had to put duty above personal safety. Hats off to all of you.
12. The people around me, especially those that were understanding, careful, wearing masks, keeping their safe distance and smiling because at the end of the day, we are all in this together.
13. Rest and relaxation. The lockdown gave me time to slow down and reflect on what it’s truly important in life. Life tends to spin by and I don’t even realize it. This year, I’ve had no choice but to rest and relax.
14. This pandemic taught me that I don’t need a lot of material things to be happy. I am more thankful now for the simplicity of my life. Being able to enjoy the sunrise, the sunset, a rainbow, the moon, the stars, a butterfly , a bird singing, finding a ladybug... is so much better than wasting money in things that I don’t really need. I have learned to cherish even a caterpillar walking on the sidewalk.
15. Living a healthy lifestyle. The first few months, I was eating all kinds of junk and I had no energy. Once I switched to eating more healthy, I feel so much better.
16. My blog and my journal. Being able to write my thoughts helps me to put things in perspective.
17. Books, puzzles, movies and some good television series kept me entertained when there was no place to go to.
18. Restaurants. I had not realized how nice it is to enjoy a meal prepared and served by someone else until we could not do it any more.
19. Freedom to vote, something that we take for granted but that a lot of countries lack. Even when the election got heated and the country was totally divided, I was thankful that I was able to cast my vote freely.
20. Last but not least, I am grateful to God for not giving up on me, and to my parents for instilling faith and religion in my life since I was little. Praying and believing that there is something greater than this life has made me survive this pandemic without living in constant fear of succumbing to this virus.

So as this year finally approaches its end, many of us are thinking “2021 will be better than 2020.” We are planning to throw buckets of water out the doors and windows at midnight on New Year’s Eve to get rid of everything bad that happened this year. But at the end of the day, we do not know what 2021 will bring. So let’s enjoy the present moment because that is all we have. Tomorrow is not here yet and yesterday is gone. Today is a gift so let’s concentrate on making it a great day. The sun has come out today. Today, today, I love you, today, because you are already here and I am grateful for this present moment. 

My Soul is Thirsty

 ”You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

When the pandemic began in March and the churches closed, we began to attend mass from our living room. The advantage of technology is that we could watch the live mass through You Tube without fear of catching the corona virus. Eventually, the churches reopened, but we were still weary of attending in person, thus, we continued watching from our living room.

This was all fine and dandy, except for the fact that we were not receiving the Body of Christ. Yes, we were receiving it spiritually, but it is not the same. Eventually, we found the courage to start attending mass in person once again. But somehow, laziness got the best of us. Mass is still being streamed live through You Tube, and it is so much easier just to watch it from our living room, especially on rainy days or if we are running late, that little by little we found that we were attending in person 25% of the time and the other 75%, we were just watching from home. The past couple of months, we have not returned to church. Yes, we are participating in the mass from our living room, sometimes live and sometimes after the fact, but it is definitely affecting my soul.

Today, the responsorial psalm was “My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God,” and that’s when it hit me. My soul is thirsty for God. My well is running dry. I need to return to church. I need to receive the Body of Christy, not just spiritually but sacramentally. I need a good confession.

Confession has been evading me this year. I tried to go before the pandemic began, just as Lent was beginning. The line was so long that the priest ran out of time. The following weekend, I planned to go earlier, and the churches closed down because of the pandemic. Then, I heard that St. Augustine was doing drive thru confessions. The day I decided to go, there was no one there. I checked online, and the Pope had prohibited drive thru confessions because of the lack of privacy. Finally, a couple of months ago, I made it on time before mass. The priest was doing confessions outside, a la pandemic. There was no line and only one lady was confessing. It was half an hour before mass so I figured I had plenty of time. Not so. The lady confessing kept going on and on and on. I guess she needed it more than me because by the time she finished, it was fifteen minutes before the mass. The priest gave me confession but it was like a fast food meal. He was rushing me and I got so nervous that I forgot all my sins. I said a couple and he gave me absolution. I know that it counted even for those sins that I had forgotten to mention, but I felt like I had not been satisfied. My soul remained thirsty.

Another thing that I’m missing tremendously is my Bible classes. We are not allowed to meet, therefore the classes are being held via Zoom. I had tried this Zoom thing back on the spring, and I simply didn’t like it at all. I had also been real busy with tax work, so I decided not to register. But now I feel like my thirst is not being quenched. The thirstier I’m becoming, the less I’m praying.

My soul is thirsting for You, my Lord. I have been feeling so spiritually dry lately. I need You, God. I need you to quench my thirst. I need to return to You because I know that You have not abandoned me. It is I who has turned my back on You. Please Lord, lead me back to You. I feel so empty. Help me to refill my well so my soul can be filled once again with your life-giving water. I love You, Lord. I need You, Lord. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.