Our Heavenly Mother

"When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” John 19:26-27

When Jesus is on the Cross, He gives all of humanity an incredible gift. When He tells "the disciple whom he loved, "here is your mother," He is giving all of us a heavenly Mother. In that moment, Mary becomes Mother of all humanity. In his 1987 encyclical Redemptoris Mater, Saint Pope John Paul II says: "This is true not only of John, who at that hour stood at the foot of the Cross together with the Mother (of Jesus), but it is also true of every disciple of Christ, of every Christian (45.3)."

As I was growing up, I did not have a close relationship with my Heavenly Mother. Even though I attended a Catholic school in Spain that was all about Mary, I found the rosary tedious and boring. It could be because they made us pray it so much at school, and for an 8 or 9-year-old child to be on their knees on wooden pews, praying the rosary, was just not fun. 

My relationship with Mama Mary, has grown and strengthened in the past thirty years. The turning point happened when I had trouble becoming pregnant. After months of infertility treatment, I turned to Mama Mary and prayed to Her for Her intercession. I began to pray the rosary again and shortly thereafter, I found out that I was expecting. 

Now, She is my confidant. As a mother of three, every time that I am going through a difficult time with one of my sons or daughter, I feel that She can relate. She can understand my pain better than anyone because as a Mother herself, She felt in Her heart the agony of every mother on earth. When Simeon told her, "a sword will pierce your own soul (Luke 2:35)," he was also talking to all mothers for generations to come.

No matter what relationship we have or had with our earthly mother, it is a great comfort to know that we have a second Mother that we can trust with our deepest worries. She is always present, ready to listen to us. She brings us peace and love. After I pray the rosary, a serenity invades my heart like no other prayer does. Mama Mary, understands better than anyone, the pain of a mother's soul. She sits with us at night when we are worried for that son or daughter that is out there somewhere and is keeping us from a restful sleep. She holds our hand when our child is sick and we are agonizing because we wish it was us instead of him or her. And when a mother loses a child, Mama Mary cries with her. Yes, "a sword pierced her soul," just like Simeon predicted, and She knows, better than anyone, the pain that a mother experiences when she has to bury her own child.

Jesus couldn't have given us a bigger gift. By giving us His Mother, He made sure that none of us would ever be orphans. She is the greatest blessing to humanity. And whether we accept Her as our Mother or not, it's a choice that everyone has to make on their own. But because I have embraced Her, I can honestly say that our Blessed Mama Mary, is our model of Love and Mercy, and She intercedes with her Son Jesus for us, her children on earth.

Love at First Sight

"The loveliest materpiece of the heart of God is the love of a Mother." St. Therese of Lisieux

Since the moment we open our eyes, we love our mom more than any other human being in the world. Of course, none of us remember that moment which is probably a good thing. Being born, from a baby's point of view, should be quite scary. After being all warm and cozy for nine months in our mother's womb, all of a sudden we are being pushed out into the unknown. We go from complete darkness into this room filled with bright lights. We are poked, weighted and measured. We are cold and in pain. And then, we are wrapped and placed in our mother's arms. We hear a soft, soothing voice. A voice that is familiar to us because we have been hearing it for the past nine months. And in the cradle of our mother's arms, we know that we are loved. And we love back. It is love at first sight.

No matter what type of mother we ended up with, just the fact that she chose to give birth to us is enough reason to be thankful. She carried us for nine months, endured the pain of labor and loved us the way only a mother can love. This is the first relationship that we ever experienced and it will mark, in a way, every other relationship in our lives. Through our mother, we learn how to love.

I was blessed with a very young mom. She was only twenty years old when I was born. She belonged to the first generation of women to be mothers and professionals at the same time. Even though she was never able to go to college because she graduated from high school the year that communism took a hold of her country, she was able to get a job at a bank. As an only child herself, she was the center of my grandparents' life and therefore, she was able to count on them to take care of me while she worked. All this changed when we left Cuba. Now, in retrospect, I realize what a huge sacrifice she made in order to give me a better future. She left her country and her parents, not knowing if she would ever see them again. She had just celebrated her 28th birthday when we boarded a plane to Spain, without money and carrying only the clothes that we were wearing. How scary that must have been for her. But she marched forward because she knew in her heart that freedom was the greatest blessing.

Growing up, I admired my mother a lot. She was a strict mom but I always knew, without any doubt, that she loved me unconditionally. A friend from my childhood told me recently that she remembered my mom as being a very elegant lady. She was right. My mom always wore the latest fashion. Of course, it helped that my grandmother was a seamstress, but her sense of style was ingrained in her every fiber. She was also a hard worker. In Spain, she got a job almost immediately after we arrived. And when we moved to the United States, she got a job at a local bank within a week of our arrival. She enjoyed working and from what I've heard through the years, she was loved and respected by both her bosses and co-workers. I don't remember my mom ever being unemployed. She worked until the day she retired.

Today, I have a wonderful relationship with my mom. We talk on a daily basis about everything. I value her opinions and she respects mine. We are friends, and I know I can count with her love and support no matter what. She has been a trooper in the past few years with my father's illness. She faces adversity head on but also knows how to enjoy life to the fullest. She taught me that when adversity strikes, you pray but you also dance. I have learned from her to put God above all things and to trust that no matter how hard things get, God is always in control.

I know that not everyone has such a close relationship with their mother. I have a friend that has not talked to her mother in years. They had a fallout, which in my opinion was a huge misunderstanding, but because they are both very proud, neither wants to take the first step towards reconciliation. This separation has affected my friend tremendously. She doesn't talk about her mother, ever, yet I know that she carries a huge pain in her heart. I told her once that she should write her mother a letter and she got angry at me. She told me that I didn't understand because I had never had a fight with my mother. I've never brought up the subject again.

And my friend was wrong. I've had my share of fights with my mother. But they never lasted longer than 24 hours. I can't imagine going days, much less years, without talking to my mom. My heart would not survive. My advice to my friend and to everyone that has become distant from their mothers, is to put aside pride and to cross the bridge towards forgiveness. No matter what happened, it's in the past. Try to focus towards the good memories that you have about your mom. Remember your childhood when your mom was the center of your universe. Rekindle that love before it's too late.

Last year was a very tough year. A lot of my friends and family members lost their moms. Even though they know that their moms are in paradise enjoying a new life in the Lord, they still miss their physical presence, their shared moments, drinking un cafecito together, a long conversation, a hug and a kiss. If you are blessed to have your mom alive, spend time with her. If your mom is no longer physically here, be comforted with the hope that one day, you will open your eyes in heaven and you will be wrapped once again in your mother's arms. You will hear her soft, soothing voice. A voice that is very familiar because you heard it all your life. And in the cradle of your mother's arms you will know that you are loved. And you will know that you have arrived to paradise.

A Not so Perfect Family becomes Perfect

God established the family when He commanded Adam and Eve to live happily ever after and procreate. Of course, the happily ever after part didn't last very long. From the moment they ate the forbidden fruit, they doomed the family from being happy for generations to come. Even their own son, Cain, was less than perfect. He was jealous, envious, and killed his brother Abel. If the very first family was so imperfect, why should we expect ours to be so perfect?

All of us are born into a family. We do not get to choose our family. We may land in a very large family or in a very small one. We may get lucky with a set of loving parents or we may end up with parents that don't give a hoot about us. We may have one sibling, a lot of siblings or none at all. We may get along with them or we may fight constantly. Maybe we have grandparents that are very much a part of our lives or maybe we didn't even get to meet our grandparents. We may have aunts, uncles, cousins or none of the above.

Jesus was also born in a family. He could have arrived on earth with a lot of fanfare, surrounded by angels, with trumpets blaring, and dressed in luxurious garments. Instead, He came as a baby. A poor baby who didn't even have a place to be born. He was born in a stable amidst the barn animals and with a manger for a crib. And there, in a little town known as Bethlehem, the Holy Family was established. The Holy Family is always portrayed as Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Was His family perfect? Probably more perfect than ours but I'm pretty certain that family life was sprinkled with the usual problems that every family faces. Mary did the usual things a wife and mother did: cook, iron, clean, wash the clothing, go to the market... And at the end of the day, she was probably tired because she was human. Joseph worked as a carpenter and therefore took care of all the usual repairs and maintenance that a household requires. And Jesus probably had chores around the house and when He got older, He helped Joseph in His trade. They were a normal family in Nazareth. And they left us a perfect model to follow.

The clue to becoming a perfect family modeled after the Holy Family is to welcome Jesus into our homes. Just like Joseph and Mary made room for Jesus in their lives, if we make room for Jesus in ours, our family will be almost perfect. We need to welcome Him, speak to Him, listen to Him, take care of Him, love Him, protect Him and make Him the center of our family. Even with Jesus in our midst, our family will not be perfect because we are human. But if we model the first family instead of the Holy Family, then it will be a disaster.

Let us make room for Jesus and allow Him to be welcomed in the heart of every member: father, mother, son, daughter, grandparents... And then maybe, just maybe, our not so perfect family will start to become perfect.

The Family: The Fabric of Our Lives

"The family is an original sign, given by the Creator himself. This is the normal vocation, without which history would come to an end." Monsignor Luigi Giussani

Yesterday, I received the inspiration for the title of this meditation from my sister in Christ, Tete Ramos. This is the reason why I can't do this journey alone. The Holy Spirit talks to me through each of you. When she mentioned that the family is the fabric of our lives, I knew that would be the title for my next meditation. You see, I grew up surrounded by fabrics, threads and needles. My grandmother was a seamstress and she lived with us. Almost every Saturday, I would take the bus with her and my mom, and we would go to Downtown Miami to visit all the fabric shops. She just loved fabrics. She had drawers full of fabric that she claimed she would use on future projects. Eventually, she did. A lot of those fabrics turned into dresses for me and my mom, and once I had kids, they turned into pajamas and shirts for my boys, and into dresses and nightgowns for my daughter.

One of the things I truly enjoyed, was to watch her turn a piece of fabric into a beautiful creation. She would cut, stitch, cut some more, add a few more stitches, and voila, that plain fabric would become a beautiful dress or a beautiful shirt. Sometimes, out of the same fabric, she would create various pieces of clothing. My kids used to have matching pajamas made out of the same material or she would create a dress for my daughter and shirts for my boys using the same piece of cloth.

It is the same with us. We begin as a plain piece of fabric. But our Creator, with a few cuts and a few stitches, weaves us into a beautiful person. Each of us is a unique pattern but within our family, we all come from the same fabric. As my kids grew, sometimes my grandmother would alter their clothing, if it was still in good condition, by increasing the hemline or adding more fabric. As we get older, the fabric of our lives also needs to be altered. New threads may need to be added while old threads may need to be removed. Our life is a continuous weaving process of new patterns and designs.

Our family comprises the real fabric of our lives. Just like in a group of butterflies each one is a different color, a different size or a different texture, in the fabric of our family, we are each a different pattern, a different thread or a different fiber, but we are all still weaved together because we are part of the same fabric spool.

A New Year, A New Journey

Five o'clock in the morning is a great time to meditate. And yet, today, I could really have used a little bit more sleep. But I've been awake since before four and after tossing and turning for over an hour, I decided that I might as well get up and put my mind to good use.

I took a look at my blog and I was surprised to see that last year I wrote 109 meditations. How did I find the time? I have no idea. All I can say is that when we give our time to God, He multiplies it.

I wrote a little bit about everything. I started the year writing about offering our time to God, about asking Him where we could serve Him and making a commitment to Him. I felt Him calling me to create this blog and I have been blessed beyond words through sharing this journey with all of you. I discovered that my strength comes from the Lord and if I offer my time and my talents to Him, He will bless me and magnify my time as well as my talents.

When Lent came around, the Holy Spirit inspired me to meditate about various characters from the Bible.  Through these meditations I met new characters that I had never heard about before, like Gideon and Abigail, and I got to know some others in a more deeper way, like Ruth, Esther, John the Baptist and many others.

Right after Easter, I received a visit from the "abuelas." I had never had such a vivid dream about someone that is no longer here on earth. Sadly, it has not happened again. But that day, I felt I received a strong message and reassurance that death is not the end, it's the beginning. I also learned that we can pray to our loved ones who have left us. They can hear us and sometimes they will answer us by showing up in our dreams. This led to a series of meditations about death.

In June, I attended the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatious of Loyola. This triggered my meditations on "finding God..." He is everywhere, all around us, yet sometimes we just don't see Him. He could be standing right in front of our noses and we just don't notice because we crowd our lives and our times with so many menial tasks.

In July, I found myself in the midst of a storm that unfortunately is still raging on. So I noticed that for the next few months my meditations were about fear, worry, standing in the middle of the storm... I feel I have not learned anything, which is the reason why I find myself awake at these hours that are meant for sleeping, not worrying. St. Pope John Paul II said: "Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence." Wise words from a very wise man. But how hard they are to apply to my life. I still worry about all sorts of things that I don't have the ability to control. If I truly had faith in God, I would just turn my worries over to Him and I would be sleeping now instead of typing my deepest thoughts. I guess my resolution for 2016 should be to worry and fear less. God help me.

Finally in October, with the help of angels, I was able to get out of the somber mood of my "storm" meditations and I was inspired to begin a Christmas journey surrounded by angels. I must say that it was a nice way to end the year, even if at times we were visited by some "evil" angels.

And this brings us to 2016... I have been praying for guidance regarding this year of mercy. I have asked the Holy Spirit to fill me with inspiration so I have a clear vision of which path God wants me to follow. If he led the Three Magi, whose feast we celebrate today, to Jesus, I know that He can show me the way. The message that I keep receiving is to meditate about relationships. I feel it's a tall order but if I made it through 2015 with 109 meditations, I feel pretty confident that I can trust Him fully and that He will guide me on this journey. All I have to do is follow the "star" just like the Three Kings did over 2,000 years ago.

Therefore, the topic of this year's meditations will be relationships... within the family, among friends, co-workers, strangers, etc. I'm not sure how many relationships I can cover in one year, but we can start off and let the Spirit lead the way. We will begin within the family because that is where we all are born, in a family.

I hope you continue to accompany me on this journey because life is better when we are surrounded by people that care. I treasure your comments, emails and encouraging words. Also, your constructive criticism and edits. Unfortunately, this blog does not allow me to see who is receiving the meditations by emails or who is reading them directly from the blog, so the only way I have of knowing if you are with me is if you reach out to me. Last year, every time I felt discouraged, God would move someone to send me an email or a text or to approach me with a comment. That kept me going because I knew that I was not alone on this journey and that we are one body with the same worries and fears as everyone else.

I wish you and your families a blessed New Year 2016 and I hope we all grow together as we learn and hopefully improve our relationships with those persons that God has placed in our lives.

God bless you.