Love at First Sight

"The loveliest materpiece of the heart of God is the love of a Mother." St. Therese of Lisieux

Since the moment we open our eyes, we love our mom more than any other human being in the world. Of course, none of us remember that moment which is probably a good thing. Being born, from a baby's point of view, should be quite scary. After being all warm and cozy for nine months in our mother's womb, all of a sudden we are being pushed out into the unknown. We go from complete darkness into this room filled with bright lights. We are poked, weighted and measured. We are cold and in pain. And then, we are wrapped and placed in our mother's arms. We hear a soft, soothing voice. A voice that is familiar to us because we have been hearing it for the past nine months. And in the cradle of our mother's arms, we know that we are loved. And we love back. It is love at first sight.

No matter what type of mother we ended up with, just the fact that she chose to give birth to us is enough reason to be thankful. She carried us for nine months, endured the pain of labor and loved us the way only a mother can love. This is the first relationship that we ever experienced and it will mark, in a way, every other relationship in our lives. Through our mother, we learn how to love.

I was blessed with a very young mom. She was only twenty years old when I was born. She belonged to the first generation of women to be mothers and professionals at the same time. Even though she was never able to go to college because she graduated from high school the year that communism took a hold of her country, she was able to get a job at a bank. As an only child herself, she was the center of my grandparents' life and therefore, she was able to count on them to take care of me while she worked. All this changed when we left Cuba. Now, in retrospect, I realize what a huge sacrifice she made in order to give me a better future. She left her country and her parents, not knowing if she would ever see them again. She had just celebrated her 28th birthday when we boarded a plane to Spain, without money and carrying only the clothes that we were wearing. How scary that must have been for her. But she marched forward because she knew in her heart that freedom was the greatest blessing.

Growing up, I admired my mother a lot. She was a strict mom but I always knew, without any doubt, that she loved me unconditionally. A friend from my childhood told me recently that she remembered my mom as being a very elegant lady. She was right. My mom always wore the latest fashion. Of course, it helped that my grandmother was a seamstress, but her sense of style was ingrained in her every fiber. She was also a hard worker. In Spain, she got a job almost immediately after we arrived. And when we moved to the United States, she got a job at a local bank within a week of our arrival. She enjoyed working and from what I've heard through the years, she was loved and respected by both her bosses and co-workers. I don't remember my mom ever being unemployed. She worked until the day she retired.

Today, I have a wonderful relationship with my mom. We talk on a daily basis about everything. I value her opinions and she respects mine. We are friends, and I know I can count with her love and support no matter what. She has been a trooper in the past few years with my father's illness. She faces adversity head on but also knows how to enjoy life to the fullest. She taught me that when adversity strikes, you pray but you also dance. I have learned from her to put God above all things and to trust that no matter how hard things get, God is always in control.

I know that not everyone has such a close relationship with their mother. I have a friend that has not talked to her mother in years. They had a fallout, which in my opinion was a huge misunderstanding, but because they are both very proud, neither wants to take the first step towards reconciliation. This separation has affected my friend tremendously. She doesn't talk about her mother, ever, yet I know that she carries a huge pain in her heart. I told her once that she should write her mother a letter and she got angry at me. She told me that I didn't understand because I had never had a fight with my mother. I've never brought up the subject again.

And my friend was wrong. I've had my share of fights with my mother. But they never lasted longer than 24 hours. I can't imagine going days, much less years, without talking to my mom. My heart would not survive. My advice to my friend and to everyone that has become distant from their mothers, is to put aside pride and to cross the bridge towards forgiveness. No matter what happened, it's in the past. Try to focus towards the good memories that you have about your mom. Remember your childhood when your mom was the center of your universe. Rekindle that love before it's too late.

Last year was a very tough year. A lot of my friends and family members lost their moms. Even though they know that their moms are in paradise enjoying a new life in the Lord, they still miss their physical presence, their shared moments, drinking un cafecito together, a long conversation, a hug and a kiss. If you are blessed to have your mom alive, spend time with her. If your mom is no longer physically here, be comforted with the hope that one day, you will open your eyes in heaven and you will be wrapped once again in your mother's arms. You will hear her soft, soothing voice. A voice that is very familiar because you heard it all your life. And in the cradle of your mother's arms you will know that you are loved. And you will know that you have arrived to paradise.