2021: A Mixed Suitcase

When my son Rafi started high school, he went on a trip to Spain with his school. We had a parents’ meeting before the trip, and amidst many of the instructions given to us, we were told to pack a change of clothing in the carry-on. The reason being that if the main luggage was lost, at least they would have extra clothes until it was found. I took this suggestion to heart, and when I’ve had to check in luggage, I’ve always packed a change of clothing inside my carry-on. I call it my mixed suitcase because it contains a little bit of everything. However, I have always packed my toiletries in its own separate carry-on suitcase. Those were never to be mixed with the clothes—that is, until now. 

On my unexpected trip to the mountains, I forgot the toiletries bag at my daughter’s house. I didn’t realize this until I finished putting away all our clothes. It was almost five o’clock when it dawned on me that not only was I missing the toiletries, but also all our prescription medications. This meant we would have to drive back to Charlotte. 

When I look back at my years, I tend to categorize them as either a terrible year or a wonderful year.  But as I look back at 2021, I have decided to classify it as a mixed suitcase kind of year. This year had a mixture of horrendous and wonderful events. 

We started the year with Covid. Both Alex and Keely entered 2021 testing positive. In mid January, Rafi and Emily came to visit for two weeks and we were able to be all together for the first time in over a year. We then got the vaccine so that gave us some hope that maybe this was the beginning of the end for this pandemic. 

On Mother’s Day, the year peaked with the wonderful news that we were going to become grandparents. And then, it collapsed in June when we lost six friends in the Surfside tragedy. 

Alex, Keely, Daniel and Chabeli moved to Charlotte this year. We are now all spread out from New York to Miami, but we were able to travel plenty between all three cities to visit all our kids. We definitely saw more of them in 2021 than we did in 2020, so distance was not an obstacle. 

Another marvelous thing that happened in this mixed suitcase year is that I finished the book that I began to write back in 2007. Not only did I finish it, but I hired an editor and I have the finished manuscript ready to be sent out to publishers. The next step… let’s just say I’ll leave it in God’s hands.

We attended a beautiful wedding in New Hampshire, celebrated my mom’s 80th birthday, went to more funerals than we would have liked, but celebrated life with the birth of Benedict on November 2nd. By far, his birth was the highlight of this mixed year, taking it to a higher level of marvelous. We met him on November 10th, and the feeling of joy that I felt when I met this little boy, son of my son, can only be understood by another grandparent. In one sweeping motion, all the horrible events of the year were erased. 

Even though the year did not end in New York as we had planned, we were able to spend a week in North Carolina with our younger kids. And as I reflect on this mixed up year, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for. It also hit me that even on those years that I labeled as horrible, I also had a lot to be grateful for. All years, if we truly look at them, are made up of mixed events, some good and some bad. It’s up to us to succumb to the bad or rise up with the good. 

As we started our drive back to Charlotte to retrieve our toiletries and medications, I was able to get a hold of our doctor. He called in our prescriptions to a nearby pharmacy. We bought all the important toiletries, picked up the meds, avoided seven hours of driving back and forth, and had an amazing three days celebrating Christmas on the mountains. I did not have my face creams, but I survived, and I learned that in order to be prepared, I must always pack a mixed suitcase. 

Even though 2022 will also arrive with a mixed suitcase because the pandemic is not over, may the marvelous events overshadow the horrible ones. Grab on to all the good, and don’t succumb to the bad. And if you forget the toiletries… don’t despair. There are drugstores everywhere. 

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Expect the Unexpected

“This Christmas expect the unexpected, say a little prayer to St. Joseph, and go with the flow. When things turn upside down, you’ll smile and not frown.” Bishop William Byrne

Today, I was supposed to be in a plane headed to New York. Instead, I’m in a car on my way to Charlotte, NC. How did this happen? I’m not sure. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this sudden change of plans. It should not surprise me, though. Ever since Covid started, I’ve been living a very unexpected life, just like everyone else in the world. 

St. Joseph is one of my favorite saints. Aside from the obvious—he was Mary’s husband and Jesus’ earthly father—, he was also unassuming, quiet, strong, wise, and trusting. This last trait is what places him in my list of favorites. I admire how he trusted God completely. He trusted God when the angel appeared to him in a dream, and told him to marry Mary even though he had just found out that she was pregnant, and he was not the father. He trusted when he had to go to Bethlehem with Mary just a few weeks before her due date. He trusted God when they couldn’t find a place at the inn. He trusted when Mary went into labor in a stable. He trusted when God told him to go to Egypt instead of back home to Nazareth. Joseph trusted completely in spite of all the change of plans that God kept sending him. Joseph was the king of the unexpected. 

I need to learn from St. Joseph to go with the flow. I don’t do good with the unexpected. I am a planner to the point that I become a bit OCD. Therefore, when I get hit with curve balls, and my plans are turned upside down, I mope.

Our trip to New York had been planned to the last minute detail: gifts shipped, food for both Christmas Eve and Day ordered, restaurants and activities planned. Hotels and airlines reserved well in advance. And the most important part—all the kids were going to be there. This was what hurt the most. Getting everyone to synchronize their vacations is no easy feat, but for four days, we managed to do just that. Add to that the icing on the cake: this is Benedict’s first Christmas. Benedict, my seven-week-old grandson. I saw him when he was one week old, and I was counting the days until I could see him again. Yes, I was definitely not happy when the unexpected happened. 

Mr. Grinch, once again, came to ruin my Christmas plans. He did it last year, and he did it again. Last year, two of my kids got Covid right before Christmas, so we ended up being just three of us around the table. This year, thank God, nobody is sick. But with Covid cases on the rise, and a newborn in the house, we had a family meeting and decided that it would be best to postpone (not cancel) our trip to New York. This decision was made three days ago so overnight I saw all my plans go up in smoke. I cancelled hotel, airline, food order, restaurant reservations, and then I moped. I gave myself one night of pity party, and by Monday morning I knew I had two options: I could continue moping around or I could turn my frown into a smile, and accept the unexpected. 

My youngest kids were already in New York, so at least they got to see their brand new nephew by meeting up in Central Park and getting a peek of him inside the stroller. Now, they are on their way to Kentucky instead of on the 26th as originally planned. 

My middle kids were supposed to fly from Charlotte to New York yesterday. They canceled their flight. And that’s when we decided to join them in Charlotte. 

My older kids and their baby will be alone in New York, but it’s a sacrifice worth making in order to keep the baby safe in these uncertain times. 

Yesterday, I was still trying to accept the change of plans without frowning, when I received this meditation from Loyola Press:

“We know for a fact that the Holy Family had no reservations, so Joseph had to do some quick thinking. Flexibility is the first ingredient to lowering holiday stress. This Christmas expect the unexpected, say a little prayer to St. Joseph, and go with the flow. When things turn upside down, you’ll smile and not frown.” —Excerpted from 5 Things with Father Bill by Bishop William Byrne

“Wow,” I said to myself. “This was written especially for me.”

St. Joseph, king of the unexpected, please help me turn my frown into a smile. Teach me to trust God the way you did. Show me that God’s plans are always better than my own. And help me to accept the unexpected. 

I prayed to St. Joseph, and for the next twelve days, I will go with the flow. Today, I’m on a 10-hour car ride to Charlotte instead of a 3-hour flight to New York. Tomorrow, we may go to the mountains. Who knows? I’m being flexible. After all, I have no control of this ship. We rented a house on the mountains. Hopefully we’ll spend Christmas there. Or maybe not. God is in control, and at this point, I’m expecting more of the unexpected.

Merry Christmas everyone and remember to add flexibility to your plans 😊

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

God’s Time is Always on Time

“Grandmothers are voices of the past and role models of the present. Grandmothers open the doors to the future.” – Helen Ketchum

I became a mom at 26. My mother became a mom at 20 and a grandmother at 46. I was pretty certain that I would not be in my 40s when I became a grandma, but I was hoping that it would happen during my 50s. And it will. My son Rafi and daughter-in-love Emily, are about to become parents, which means that I’m about to join the grandmothers’ club. I am beyond excited. 

I found out that I was going to become a grandmother on Mother’s Day. No words could ever accurately explain the emotions I felt. I was ecstatic. When I opened the picture frame they sent me, and I saw the photo of the ultrasound, I screamed out of pure joy. Seeing that perfect baby in Emily’s womb was just precious. She was already fourteen weeks when they told me, so they already knew it was a boy. And I have loved him from that very moment.

According to his mommy, Benedict is an active little boy. He is constantly moving. I already had a dream about him, but I have to wait to see if Benedict will even resemble the little boy I saw in my dream. Honestly, I could not care less. All I pray for is that he is a healthy baby boy. While I wait for his birth, I dream about sitting on the floor playing with him, reading him books, taking him for strolls around the park, and watching him discover the world around him. Even though he will be in New York, I will be available with my bags packed, ready to hop on a plane to go visit him at a moment’s notice.

I will be readily available if the parents need my help, but I will try not to provide them with unsolicited parenting advice. I remember the first time that Rafi had a fever. It happened on his first Easter. Everyone in the family was telling me what to do. I know they meant well, but I got so frustrated that I told them that Rafi had a doctor, and I would only listen to his advice. Rafael remembers that he was outside talking to the men in the family, when all the women came marching out of our house. We look back now and laugh about it because it looked like I had kicked them all out. I guess in a way I did when I told them to stop giving me unrequested advice. Now, it’s my turn to remember that Rafi and Emily need to figure out parenthood by themselves. This is their child, not mine. My job will be simply to cuddle and spoil him. And I will only help out if they request it.

I can’t wait to see my baby boy with his own baby boy. His world is about to change in ways that he cannot even yet imagine. This little person is going to rock his heart, and expand his life. I have no doubt that he will be a great dad, just like I know that Emily will be an amazing mom because she has been the best wife that I could have ever wished for my son.

I have been dreaming of becoming a grandmother since I turned 50. That was nine years ago, but God’s time is always on time, and He made sure that I would reach my dream before my 60th birthday. I am looking forward to the next decade of my life surrounded by little ones that I’ll be allowed to love, cuddle, and spoil. And it will all begin with baby Benedict who will soon be joining our family.

Please keep Emily and Benedict in your prayers for a safe and healthy delivery.

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

All Day Every Day

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing.”

                             1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

On Friday morning, I went with my hubby on our daily walk. We went to walk to the Hollywood Broadwalk. It was so early that the moon was still out, but there were plenty of people walking while others were waiting for the sunrise. 

As we were walking, a guy with a Navy shirt ran past us. I noticed that he looked up, did a salute and said out loud: “All day every day.” I looked up and I saw the American flag. I literally got goosebumps. What pride this man had for our flag that he took time from his run to salute it and to say those words. I love this country that adopted me and its flag, but I don’t stop to salute it every time I see one. 

As we continued our walk, I started thinking about his words: “All day every day.” What exactly did he mean? It could be that he is proud to be an American all day every day. It could also mean that he is willing to serve his country all day every day. Then I started thinking, what do those words mean to me? What is the thing that I would like to do all day every day? The word that came to mind is pray.

During Lent I read a book called “I heard God laugh” by Matthew Kelly. He says in the book that we can pray all day every day. I have been trying to do this but I have realized it’s not that simple. His suggestion is that we can divide our day in hours and offer up each hour for someone. We can think of someone that is sick, a family member, a friend, a homeless person that we crossed on the street, someone that cuts us in traffic... anyone really. It could be someone we know or someone we don’t know. It could be for one person or a group of persons. By offering up this hour, we are praying for this person or persons. 

The problem with me is that I am very absent minded. I have tried this, but let’s say at nine o’clock I decide to offer my next hour for my daughter Chabeli. When I remember again, it’s already noon. I literally would have to put an alarm every hour to remind me. But then it hit me. I don’t have to offer up just one hour. So what I’ve been trying to do is offer up my drive to work, the morning, my lunch hour, the afternoon, my drive home from work, etc. I say I’ve been trying because I don’t always remember. I may offer up the drive but when I get to the office I get distracted and then I forget to offer up the morning. But I think the fact that I am trying also counts as prayer. I guess if I end up offering up three hours for my daughter instead of one, she particularly needed more prayers that day.

This morning I was talking to my sister from a different mother who is in quarantine with Covid. She was complaining that she is missing out from being outdoors in Madrid enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Then she said that she feels sorry for all those people that are suffering from long-term illnesses or who are in prison. I told her to offer up her quarantine for them and then her suffering will be easier to carry because it will be a prayer for those that are suffering more than her. Offering up our suffering helps us to love others as Christ loves them.

The runner with the Navy shirt really made me stop and pause. Yes, there are a lot of things that I would like to do all day every day but I just don’t have the time to do it. However, I can offer up a prayer for someone all day every day. I don’t need to complicate it. Even if I offer up the entire day for someone else, then my day will have more meaning and more value. If I offer up every part of my day: my work, my joys, my frustrations, my sufferings, the interruptions, the pleasant or unpleasant surprises, the setbacks, and any little obstacle or treasure that I encounter in my path, then God will be delighted and I will be gifted with a better attitude to face any minor trials that come my way during the day. It’s certainly a great antidote to a mentality of complaining, irritability and negativity, which I’m very prone to succumb to when I’m under a lot of stress.

I hope that offering all my activities in prayer, all day every day, will bring peace to someone in need of prayers. And I know that I will benefit as well because God will turn my day into an opportunity for personal growth.

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Peace Be With You

“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”

—Psalm 112:7

Peace... such a rarity in this world we live in. I crave it more than anything. If I had to choose between a diamond and peace, I would pick the latter. I do not remember the last time I had an uninterrupted night of peaceful sleep. If peace could be bought, I would be the first one to place an order, no matter the cost. 

Peace is the message of tomorrow’s gospel reading. “Peace be with you” (1) is how Jesus greets His disciples when He appears to them after His resurrection. He knows that they were lacking peace. Fear robbed them of their peace. 

It’s the same with us today. We live in constant fear. Fear of catching Covid-19. Fear of the vaccine. Fear of our political leaders. Fear of bad news. Fear of the future. Fear of everything. And this constant fear, keeps us awake at night and robs us of our peace. 

I am writing this while I am sitting at the spa getting a pedicure. My view is the ocean. The setting is peaceful and serene. And yet, instead of being relaxed and enjoying this moment, I’m doing a mental checklist of all I need to accomplish this weekend before I go back to work on Monday. If only I could empty my mind of worldly preoccupations and simply enjoy this hour. 

Too many thoughts interrupt me as I try to relax and concentrate on the beautiful view in front of me. I have been trying to deepen my prayer life by sharing each moment with God. But it’s so hard. I start praying and I get so easily distracted. As I start thanking Him for this beautiful view that I get a front row seat to enjoy, I remember that I need to add fabric softener to my grocery list because I’m running out of it. So what am I supposed to do? God must lose His patience with me when my prayer goes something like this:

“Dear Lord. Thank You for this beautiful world that You have given us. This ocean that I get to enjoy almost every week... Hold on, Lord. I just remembered I need fabric softener. Let me write it down before I forget... OK, I’m back... what were we talking about? Oh yes, the beautiful ocean...”

During Lent, I learned that our entire day can be turned into prayer by sharing everything with God. He wants us to talk to Him about our joys and sorrows, our happy moments and our sadness, our hopes and our fears... but does He really care that I am running low on fabric softener? I guess He does if He wants me to share everything with Him. 

“Peace be with you,” says the Lord. “Do not fear, for I am with You.” (2) I wish I could trust Him so completely that I could drop all my worries into His lap and feel the peace that I’m yearning for. But I am always so restless that I cannot even get myself to disconnect for just this hour that I get to spend at the spa. How then am I supposed to spend every minute of my day with Him?

God is peace. And He wants to share His peace with me. I just need to allow myself to be embraced by Him and His peace will overwhelm me. But for now, I have to finish writing my grocery list. 

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References from the New International Version of the Bible:

1. Luke 24:36
2. Isaiah 41:10

Pushing Meaningless Busy Out of my Life

“COME AWAY WITH ME for a while. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer people push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me.

You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better: more meetings, more programs, more activity.” 

Sarah Young in “Jesus Calling”

After spending Lent somewhat disconnected from the world, now I feel a little lost. After being off Facebook, Instagram, negative media and political newsfeeds for fifty days, I’m afraid to turn them on again. At first, I must confess that I was experiencing FOMO. I told my daughter to keep me informed of anything important that was announced on Facebook. But after a while, I stopped asking, and I actually felt liberated. Now, I feel like I have returned from a long journey to the mountains where there was no internet nor media, and I am trying to reconnect with what happened while I was gone.

The first day I entered the world of Facebook, I had so many notifications that I turned it off immediately. I just could not deal with it. I felt bombarded and I just did not feel ready to rekindle my relationship with social media just yet. I realized during Lent that spending time scrolling through my newsfeed leaves me empty. It was just a way to keep busy doing meaningless activities. I excused myself by saying that I get so busy during tax season that at the end of the day, I can give myself a break. But I have come to realize that kind of meaningless busy ends up making me feel more overwhelmed and tired, than when I’m busy doing something productive.

I know that I cannot shut down Facebook completely because otherwise I get completely disconnected from the rest of the world which is also not a good thing. We are meant to live in community, not like hermits. Nowadays, everyone announces their family news through Facebook, especially during this pandemic when we could not see each other in person. New babies are introduced through Facebook or Instagram. Pregnancies and engagements are announced in social media. We attend weddings by enjoying the pictures that get posted, and it’s also a great way to remind us of birthdays.

When we went to the Holy Land, I tried to post my blog and photos during the trip because I knew a lot of people had asked me to do so. They had not been able to go on the trip physically but I took them with me spiritually. I even took their prayer requests with me to place on the Western Wall. But I promised myself that was all I would do in social media. After all, we were on pilgrimage so I did not want to get distracted with what was happening on the outer world. Honestly, there was hardly any time for distractions. I barely had time to write on my blog and post the photos. But a week after we returned, while trying to catch up with Facebook, I found out that a cousin had passed away. Sadly, even deaths get now announced through social media. We don’t call nor text each other anymore for these announcements. I did get a few texts from close friends and family during Lent because they knew that I was off social media. My cousin reached out to me directly to let me know that her daughter had gotten engaged; a friend sent me photos from her son’s wedding; my sister-in-law messaged me to share with me the good news that my nephew had received an important award. I really appreciated this direct contact but I do understand that it is so much easier to announce it to hundreds at once than to have to call or text one hundred different people. However, we have definitely lost that personal touch.

Now, as I try to find my balance and push meaningless busy activities out of my life, I am enjoying a much slower pace. Today, I am just sitting by the pool, enjoying a good fiction book, and writing this blog post as inspiration hits me, sometimes simply by a phrase on the book. I have reached out to a few persons, but not through social media. I talked to my friends in Madrid through WhatsApp. I messaged my cousin in Orense. I talked to my mom on the phone. I texted with my daughter. And I have not so much as checked Facebook not even once. Last night I did, but only for a little while. I am finding a balance between meaningless busy and productive busy. I do plenty of productive busy during the day, so I can treat myself for a bit of meaningless busy, but when it takes over all my free time, then it’s time to stop and take inventory of my life. Do I want to spend the rest of my life wasting my time? Or should I ask God what does He want me to do with the rest of my life? I am certain that He has something more productive in mind for me. And it doesn’t need to take away all my free time. 

Copyright © 2021 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

My 50-Day Journey... From my Head to my Heart ❤️

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Three years ago, I went on a Lenten pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I spent ten days following Jesus’ footsteps from His birthplace in Bethlehem to the site of His crucifixion in Jerusalem. This year, I went on a different Lenten pilgrimage. Even though I never even left Miami, I have been on a 50-day journey that took me from my head to my heart. 

This past year has been a nightmare to say the least. Our world as we knew it was turned upside down. And little by little, I lost my focus during the pandemic. I felt like I had lost my purpose. I was moving on autopilot. I was filling up my days with meaningless activities that left me feeling empty. I had to do something drastic in order to rediscover my direction. I knew that the most important thing that I had to do was to empty my head from the bombardment of the outer world. Therefore, the first thing I did was to disconnect completely from social media. Once in a while, we need to disconnect to be able to reconnect. The time I used to spend on social media, I redirected it to doing something more useful. It just so happens that in December, my Emmaus sister, Ileana, gave me a book titled “I Heard God Laugh” by Matthew Kelly. A few days before Ash Wednesday, I saw it on top of my nightstand. I grabbed it, and on the back cover, I read that Matthew Kelly was leading a Lenten journey based on the book. It was just the invitation I needed. I signed up and my life was finally turned right side up. 

Every day in the morning, during the time that I used to spend on social media, I would listen to the 3-minute video by Matthew Kelly.  Then I would read the video transcript and read the section of the book that the video was referring to. I also read a reflection from Loyola Press, “Living Lent Daily,” which Godincidentally complemented perfectly with the video message. On some days, depending on how much time I set aside to spend with God, I also read the daily reading and the meditation by Bishop Robert Barron. At night, I would also set aside ten minutes to spend with Jesus in the sacred garden of silence. Many nights, time would just fly, and before I realized it, the ten minutes had turned into thirty or sixty. 

The first night that I grabbed my journal, I realized that I had not written anything since before the pandemic. And my journal is the way I connect to Jesus because I like to talk to Him by writing to Him. This meant that I had not had a deep conversation with Him in more than a year.  Yes, I have not stopped praying through the pandemic, but pretty much, I was praying on autopilot. I was reciting prayers, one after another, without engaging into any meaningful conversation with My Friend. This 50-day journey changed all that. I have been writing letters to Jesus almost daily. I have made time to sit in my inner sacred garden with Him. The evenings have turned out to be the best time to share my day with God. The time when the sun is going to sleep in the horizon, is the time that I have set aside to communicate with My Friend Jesus. I have shown up for our daily conversations, no matter how the world has been trying to pull me in a different direction. This new habit that I have finally developed, has helped me to find my inner peace. And I feel completely renewed. During this 50-day journey, not only have I reconnected with myself, I have also rekindled my friendship with Jesus, whom I had sort of pushed aside during the pandemic.

I usually do not enjoy Lent, but this year it has been such a reawakening for me, that I did not want it to end. Now that it’s over, what will I do? Will I go back to spending the first minutes of my day scrolling through Facebook? Am I going to put away the spiritual literature that I’ve been reading until next Lent? Should I push Jesus once again to the back burner and only pray to Him in a rush? 

I guess that just because Lent is over, I do not need to go back to filling up my days with pointless activities. As I begin the fifty days of the Easter season, my goal is to find the right balance between what I like to do and what I should be doing. I am not going to shut the door to social media completely. After all, Rafi and Emily work for Facebook so I should support the company that is putting bread on their table. But ironically, Rafi and Emily rarely post on Facebook. They don’t waste time scrolling through their Facebook newsfeed. Facebook is their job not their passion. So I am going to imitate them. I will use Facebook as my platform to share my writings and meditations. But I will not waste my days scrolling through Facebook. I will also find a balance between reading historical fiction books which I enjoy reading and spiritual books that fill my soul and leave me feeling full as opposed to empty. I just bought myself a new book titled “Busy Lives and Restless Souls” by Becky Eldredge. I think it’s the perfect book to help me find the balance that I’m yearning for.

I did not travel 6,500 miles during this Lent to visit the Holy Land, but I feel the journey to go from my head to my heart was even longer. I am so glad that I took these fifty days to disconnect from the world. As I emptied my head from all the nonsense that is constantly bombarding it, my heart became filled with a peace that I had not experienced in a very long time. It’s a peace that I can only experience when I’m fully connected to God. I had not realized how thirsty I was for His Love until it began to pour into my heart like a fresh wave, making it overflow with happiness. I am not going to push Jesus to the back burner simply because Lent is over. I am ready to fill my empty head once again, but this time, I will be picky, like a gardener separating flowers from weeds. I will choose which thoughts will remain in my head, and which ones will be pushed out to be carried away like a feather being carried by the wind. I will stop running on autopilot and I will allow God to guide me in whatever direction He wants to lead me. I know that He will only choose a path that connects my head and my heart with the joy that I have experienced in these past fifty days.