Let the Scaffolds Fall but Continue Reinforcing Your Walls

“We may let the scaffolds fall, confident that we have built our wall.” Seamus Heaney

This week, my daughter Chabeli and her boyfriend Daniel got engaged. The moment was totally unplanned. No picnic by the beach or plane flying overhead with a banner that said “Will you marry me?” No restaurant with violins playing or a beautiful background of mountains. As a matter of fact, the engagement took place on a busy New York street with scaffolding as its backdrop.

It reminded me of another impromptu engagement, almost 40 years ago, on the 836 expressway. We were on our way home from the beach on July 4th, 1982. My birthday is on July 5th and Rafael wanted to give me my gift when the clock struck midnight. We were rushing to get home, but didn’t quite make it. So he pulled to the shoulder, got out of the car, went to the trunk, and grabbed a huge box covered in birthday gift wrap. The box was heavy so the last thing I expected was a ring. I opened it only to find a pair of old and smelly tennis shoes, and lots of teared up newspapers. “What in the world?” I thought to myself. But in the midst of that mess, was a little box with a ring inside. I’m still waiting for him to get on one knee and actually propose, a little difficult to do in the middle of a busy expressway, but here we still are about to celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary in three months.

When my daughter sent me the video, which luckily was taken by a pedestrian who stopped to witness the proposal, and I saw the scaffolding on the background, I was reminded of a reading at Emily and Rafi’s wedding:

“Masons, when they start upon a building, are careful to test out the scaffolding; Make sure that planks won't slip at busy points, secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints. And yet all this comes down when the job's done showing off walls of sure and solid stone. So if, my dear, there sometimes seems to be old bridges breaking between you and me never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall, confident that we have built our wall.” Seamus Heaney

Chabeli and Daniel, you have been building the walls of your relationship for almost eight years. It is now time to let the scaffolds fall. They don’t need to stay in your relationship forever, like the permanent scaffolding in New York. When you started your relationship, like the masons, you had to test each other out to make sure that you fit well together. You had to adjust your bolts and planks so you could be sure that what you felt for each other was real, and it wouldn’t come down with the first storm. Your relationship is now on solid ground, but never let your guard down because the strongest walls collapse if they are not well cared for. Therefore, continue to strengthen your walls with romantic gestures, spontaneous dates and words that build up and reinforce what you have built together. The old scaffolds will fall but the strong walls will remain forever.

I am so happy for both of you. It was truly a magical moment which couldn’t have surprised Chabeli more. The last thing on her mind when she walked out of that bagel shop was that Daniel would be waiting for her and would propose right then and there. But those unplanned proposals lead to something wonderful. Just look at dad and I… no picnic by the beach or plane flying overhead with a banner that said “Will you marry me?” There were lots of planes flying overhead because we were by the Miami airport, but to me, it was the most magical moment as I know it was for my Chabeli. So congratulations and I hope that 40 years from now, you will be sharing your magical proposal with your own children.

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Hope, Courage and Trust

“The angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’ When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.” Matthew 1:20-21,24

Today we celebrate the feast of St. Joseph, the spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary and foster father of Jesus. We don’t know much about him. He is only mentioned three times in the Scriptures and he doesn’t say a single word. And yet, from the little that is said, we know that he was full of hope, trust and courage.

Joseph had hopes and dreams before his life came crashing down. Imagine being engaged to be married, your fiancée tells you that she’s pregnant, and you know that the baby is not yours. If I had said that to Rafael before we got married, he would have walked away. No way he would have taken on someone else’s responsibility. And his hopes and dreams for our future together would have come crashing down. That is exactly what happened to Joseph. He had all these plans for a happy life with Mary, dreams of the children they would have together, and hopes for a future filled with love, when Mary drops the bomb: “Joseph, I’m pregnant.” In three words, his dreams were shattered and his hopes destroyed. And yet, in spite of his huge disappointment, he was a noble man. He loved Mary so much that he decided to walk away quietly. He could have chosen to publicly dishonor her, which would have resulted in her being stoned to death. But he didn’t want that for her, even if he thought at the time that she had broken her promise to him.

After he decides to break the engagement, the story gets better. He goes to sleep and an angel appears to him. However, as opposed to Mary who had an angel visit her while she was fully awake, this angel appears to Joseph in a dream. I’m pretty sure that if this had happened to Rafael, he still would not have married me. But Joseph trusted God so much that he believed that the dream was real. And he took Mary as his wife, pregnant with a child that was not his own. What a lesson in trust and humility we can all learn from Joseph.

The second time that Joseph is mentioned in the scriptures is when he had to go to Bethlehem for the census. Most likely, he could have gone by himself and leave Mary with friends and family in Nazareth. But he was a responsible man, and he knew that this child that Mary was carrying was no ordinary child. Thus, he takes Mary with him on a long journey, through the desert, just so that he could take care of her and the baby. Little did he know that they would not return to Nazareth anytime soon. After the baby is born, once again an angel appears to him in a dream and tells him to take Mary and the child and go to Egypt. Not only did he have to trust God, but it shows his courage. He didn’t know what they would find in Egypt. Certainly no home or family to welcome them. In Egypt, they were refugees. I can’t help but remember when I arrived in Spain with my parents and we had to go to “una pension.” It was a cheap hostel where all we had was a room with two beds, and we had to share a kitchen and bathroom with a lot of strangers. 

Even though Joseph lived a life of adversity with unexpected twists and turns, he always trusted God. He never failed God in all the responsibilities that God entrusted him. He always stepped up to the plate. He had confidence that God was with him every step of the way, and because he trusted and was courageous, his hopes and dreams for his future turned out to be even better than he could have possibly imagined. He had the privilege of holding in his arms the salvation of the world. And when his mission here on earth was finished, he died in the arms of Jesus and Mary. And all because he trusted and said YES to God.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

La Lección de Madre Juliana

 ”Que lo profundo sea lo que siempre celebremos”. Madre Juliana

Madre Juliana fue mi maestra de cuarto grado en La Inmaculada Concepción, la escuela a la que asistí mientras vivía en Madrid. Tenía veintitantos años, recién ordenada, y todos la amábamos. Era inteligente, divertida, estricta, pero de una manera cariñosa, y me enseñó una lección que nunca olvidaré.

En España, teníamos que ir a la escuela de 9 a 5 con un descanso de 2 horas para almorzar. La mayoría de los niños solían ir a casa a almorzar, pero mis mejores amigas, Tere, Dulce y yo, solíamos quedarnos en la escuela a almorzar. Tardábamos unos 30 minutos en comer y luego teníamos 90 minutos para jugar.

Un día en particular, Dulce y yo le preguntamos a Madre Juliana si necesitaba ayuda en el aula. No recuerdo qué nos pidió que hiciéramos, pero sí recuerdo haber encontrado el examen que tendríamos al día siguiente encima de su escritorio. Dulce y yo nos miramos y no lo pensamos dos veces. Corrimos a nuestros escritorios, agarramos papel y lápiz y nos apresuramos a copiar las respuestas. Esta prueba eran preguntas y respuestas escritas. Esa noche, memorizamos todas las respuestas. Al día siguiente, cuando M. Juliana entregó las pruebas, Dulce y yo nos miramos y sonreímos. Ibamos a pasar la prueba con sobresaliente. 

Normalmente, M. Juliana recogía las pruebas, las calificaba durante la noche y nos las devolvía al día siguiente. No esta vez. Decidió que nos calificaríamos las pruebas mutuamente. Dulce y yo nos miramos. Sabíamos que algo andaba mal, especialmente cuando M. Juliana decidió calificar mi prueba.

Toda la clase reprobó la prueba excepto Dulce y yo. M. Juliana nos miró y dijo frente a toda la clase: “Parece que Dulce y Cristina son las únicas que estudiaron para esta prueba”. Queríamos que el suelo se abriera y nos tragara. Estábamos profundamente avergonzados, pero confesamos.

Nunca le pregunté a M. Juliana cómo lo sabía, pero supongo que probablemente regresó al salón de clases y vio a Dulce y a mí en su escritorio copiando las respuestas. Podría habernos sorprendido con las manos en la masa, pero fue muy sabia y supo que la lección sería más impactante si nos confrontaba frente a toda la clase.

Salí de España al terminar el quinto grado pero nunca olvidé a M. Juliana. La volví a ver en 2014. Era la superiora de todos los colegios de las concepcionistas en España. Mi esposo, el muy simpático, le recordó mi fechoría de cuarto grado. Ella la había olvidado por completo, y ambas, junto con Dulce que también estaba presente, nos reímos mucho.

En 2012, la fundadora de la orden de las madres concepcionistas, Madre Carmen Salles, fue canonizada por el Papa Benedicto XVI. M. Juliana asistió a la canonización. Cuando la vi en 2014, me dio un rosario, un libro y algunas medallas que había traído. No tengo ninguna duda de que M. Juliana está ahora en el cielo con Santa Carmen Salles. Su vida aquí en la tierra terminó, pero su vida celestial apenas comienza.

M. Juliana tenía puesta sus esperanzas en que cada una de sus alumnas nos convirtiésemos en las mujeres que Dios nos creó para ser, y siempre nos empujó a alcanzar las estrellas. Ella ayudó a fortalecer y edificar mi fe. Y jamás volví a hacer trampa en un examen.

Que en paz descanses, Madre Juliana, y espero que nos volvamos a encontrar en el cielo.

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. Todos los derechos reservados.

Madre Juliana’s Lesson

“May the profound be what we always celebrate.” Madre Juliana

I normally don’t write two meditations on the same day, but just as I was finishing one, I found out that one of my favorite teachers passed away. I was compelled to write about her. 

Madre Juliana was my fourth grade teacher at Immaculate Conception, the school I attended while I lived in Madrid. She was in her twenties, newly ordained, and we all loved her. She was smart, funny, strict, but in a loving kind of way, and she taught me a lesson that I will never forget. 

In Spain, we had to go to school from 9 to 5 with a 2-hour break for lunch. Most kids used to go home for lunch but my best friends Tere, Dulce and I used to stay in the school for lunch. It would take us about 30 minutes to eat and then we had 90 minutes to play. 

On one particular day, Dulce and I asked Madre Juliana if she needed help with anything. I don’t remember what she asked us to do but I do remember finding the exam that we were having the following day on top of her desk. Dulce and I looked at each other and we didn’t think about it twice. We ran to our desks, grabbed paper and pencil, and rushed to copy the responses. This test was not multiple choice, it was questions and short written answers. That night, we memorized all the responses. The next day, when M. Juliana gave out the tests, Dulce and I looked at each other and we smiled. We were going to Ace the test.

Normally, M. Juliana would collect the tests, grade them overnight, and return them to us the following day. Not this time. She decided that we would grade each other’s tests. Dulce and I looked at each other. We knew something was amiss, especially when M. Juliana decided to grade my test. 

The entire class failed the test except Dulce and me. M. Juliana looked at us and said in front of the whole class: “It looks like Dulce and Cristina are the only ones that study for this test.” We wanted the floor to open up and swallow us. We were deeply embarrassed, but we confessed.

I never asked M. Juliana how she knew, but I guess she probably returned to the classroom and saw Dulce and I on her desk copying the responses. She could have caught us red handed but she was very wise and knew the lesson would be more impacting if she confronted us in front of the whole class. 

I left Spain at the end of the fifth grade but I never forgot M. Juliana. I saw her again in 2014. She was the superior of all the schools in Spain. My husband, nice as he is, reminded her of my 4th grade misdeed. She had completely forgotten, and we both had a good laugh.

In 2012, the founder of the order, Madre Carmen Salles, was canonized by Pope Benedict XVI. M. Juliana attended the canonization. When I saw her in 2014, she gave me a rosary, a book, and a few medals that she had brought back. I have no doubt that M. Juliana is now in heaven with St. Carmen Salles. Her journey here on earth ended, but her heavenly journey is just beginning. 

M. Juliana had hope in each of her students that we would become the women that God created us to be, and she always pushed us to reach for the stars. She helped to strengthen and build up my faith. And yes, I never ever cheated again on a test. 

May you Rest In Peace Madre Juliana, and I hope we meet again in heaven.

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Do the Storms Ever Stop?

“The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow.” – Anonymous

I recently watched the second season of Sweet Magnolias, a Netflix series. It’s about three southern women that grew up together in a small town called Serenity. The town is anything but serene. There is always some drama going on. On one of the episodes, Helen, the town attorney, asks her friend Maddie, “Do the storms ever stop?”

That question stayed with me. “Do the storms ever stop?” And the answer is “No, the storms never stop.” Do you know anyone that has such a perfect life that has never gone through a storm? I’m sure the answer is no. Even my four-month-old grandson has already gone through a few storms of his own. If he could talk he would tell you about his three vaccinations on his chubby little legs when he turned two and four months. His crying told his mom and dad that he was not happy experiencing that storm. Three shots at once? Poor little baby boy. Abi was not happy either. 

The bottom line is that here on earth, the storms will never stop. But our attitude towards them can make a huge difference on how we navigate them. Just recently, my son Alex and his girlfriend Keely were caught in a pretty serious storm. After a week of headaches and a few misdiagnosis, a CT scan revealed that Keely had a large blood clot on her brain. As scary as the situation was, we did not lose hope. We turned to God, the Greatest Physician, and we prayed for Keely’s blood clot to dissolve, for Alex to stay strong for her in the midst of the storm and for Keely not to lose hope. I also asked all my prayer warriors to pray. I have no doubt that being showered with all these prayers is what kept them calm and hopeful through the storm. And even though it is not over, I have no doubt that the Great Physician continues to work on dissolving that blood clot. 

Jesus is the source of my strength and hope during every storm that I’ve had to navigate in my life. He has always jumped inside my boat and He has helped me to remain steadfast in my faith and has not allowed my hope to diminish. Even when I have found myself in a situation that seemed hopeless at first, He has not allowed me to succumb to despair. He has always been my guide through the storm, my light in the darkness and my hope in the midst of hopelessness. 

Yes, the storms never stop, but as Maddie responded to Helen in “Sweet Magnolias,” neither do the rainbows. So if you find yourself in the midst of a storm right now, don’t lose hope in the good things to come because after every storm there is always a rainbow, no matter how long it takes to show up. 

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Lent: A Season of Hope

“Lent is precisely the season of hope when we turn our gaze back to the God who is patient. Saint Paul passionately urges us to place our hope in reconciliation: ‘Be reconciled to God’ (2 Cor 5:20).” Pope Francis

We were in a rush to get to 8 o’clock mass. We had woken up extra early to squeeze our morning walk. I had checked the website and confirmed that St. Raymond had daily mass at 8 am. We got there at 8 on the dot and the parking lot was overflowing. There was not one empty space. We had to park in an adjacent lot that had been opened for such occasion.

As we walked into the church, we realized that we were very late. They were already saying the “Prayer of the Faithful.” Mass must have started at 7:30 instead of 8. I had checked all the churches in the surrounding area and none had mass at 8:30 so we decided to stay. I felt like one of those persons that only go to church to get the ashes, but I figured that God knew I had made an honest mistake with the time. 

An usher led us to a seat outside, since the inside of the church was packed. I sat in front of a glass curio that was placed on top of a white column. On the front of the column, these words were written: “Faith Hope Blessed.”

As I stared to this message, I realized that we were starting the season of faith, hope and blessings. I have always looked at Lent as the season of darkness, sadness and sacrifice. But I have been wrong all alone. Lent is the season of hope and opportunity. God gives us an opportunity every year during Lent to grow in faith and hope, and as we do, we receive immense blessings. We have the opportunity each Lent to grow closer to Jesus as we accompany Him on His passion. And we have the hope of the Resurrection that awaits us on Easter Sunday.

As I looked all around me, I thought to myself: “Why can’t churches be this packed all year round?” The most interesting thing to me is that Ash Wednesday is not even a holy day of obligation. No one is required to attend Mass or receive blessed ashes, and yet, the churches are packed. My friend Lupe helped me to look at it from a different angle when she told me the next day: “Hope filled me throughout the day as I witnessed so many, many people going to Little Flower for Ash Wednesday. So much hope and joy in my heart that the Lord is being honored and praised by so many!” I guess it doesn’t matter what draws people to mass on Ash Wednesday. The important thing is that while they are there, they are honoring God and praising Him.

It turns out that I made a mistake when I checked St. Raymond’s website. Their daily mass is at 7:30 am. I must have gotten confused with the hours of the parish office which opens at 8. But I know without a doubt that God wanted me to sit where I sat. Those words of “Faith, Hope and Blessed” were written just for me. And the empty glass curio is where they place the Blessed Sacrament every day from 8 to 6. St. Raymond is a 5-minute drive from my home. I feel God calling me to spend time with Him this Lent. I hope I make the time to spend some time with Him. 

I finish this meditation sharing Lupe’s words: “May this Lent lead all people to turn to God in humility and prayer in the midst of the chaos and fear in which we are living. Jesus, we trust in you!”

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.