Surrender the Boasting

“Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.” 1 Cor 1:31

We live in a society that loves to boast. We love to show off all we do and all we have in social media. The definition of boasting is “to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, especially about oneself.” In other words, boasting means bragging. We love to brag about ourselves, our children, the trip that we took, the party that we attended, the house we live in, the car we drive, etc. 

As I was driving home today, I was listening to the podcast “Monday Morning Homilist” with Father Manny Alvarez from Little Flower. He was talking about yesterday’s second reading from the first letter to the Corinthians: “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.” 1 Cor 1:31. When I went to mass yesterday at St. Matthew, the focus of the homily was on the Beatitudes, since that was what the gospel was about: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are they who mourn, blessed are the meek…”. It was a great homily, but listening to the podcast today gave me an entire different perspective. 

We are blessed when we boast in the Lord, not when we boast about ourselves. And yes, when we boast about God, we may upset some people who think that we are too holy-holy. The irony is, at least in my personal experience, that for every single “friend” I have lost because they thought I was too much into Christ, I have earned three “true” friends. The older I get, the less I care what other people think. If I want to boast about my faith, I have the right to do so, and whomever doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it. I personally much rather read a post from Sister Julia whom I follow on Instagram because she boasts in the Lord, than to read a post from Kim Kardashian whom I don’t follow because all she does is boast about herself and her “perfect” life.

Father Manny said in his podcast that there is an entire community that is afraid to talk so they remain silent about their faith. They support those who boast in the Lord, but they don’t have the courage to do the boasting themselves. Which group are you part of, the silent majority or the loud minority?

“Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness… and blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you… because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.” Matthew 5:10-12. 

During the month of February, I challenge you to surrender the personal boasting and switch it to boasting in the Lord. Instead of bragging about ourselves, let’s brag about God because He is awesome. Let’s not be afraid to boast in the Lord. I can guarantee you that for every criticism you receive, you will get two accolades. People are hungry for the Lord, and they are tired of listening to those that all they do is brag about themselves. At the end of the day, there is only one person that matters, and that is Jesus Christ. As long as He is happy, I don’t care who gets upset. Therefore, I choose to boast in the Lord.

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Surrender and Trust with No Regrets

 “God does not lead everyone on the same path.” St. Teresa of Avila

We live in a noisy world, and sometimes, we need to tune out the noise so we can listen to the voice within us. One of the best places to do this is on a retreat. It’s been a long time since I have gone on retreat. One of my favorite retreats is a silent retreat based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. I have been to four different ones, and they were all amazing. They made me realize that we are always searching for something outside, when what truly matters is already within us.

The book that I just finished reading, “No Regrets” by Allen Hunt and Matthew Kelly emphasizes this: “What you are seeking is already with you and in you. It’s not out there somewhere. Fear not. It’s right here.” We try to satisfy our lives with the world, when the most important thing is to satisfy our soul: “Your goal in life is to have your soul satisfied in love. Love for God. Love for yourself. And love for the people around you.”

We each have our own journey to discover the voice within our souls. We each have our own path. No two are the same. But if we invite God to lead us on our journey, we can trust that when we arrive to the destination, we will have no regrets. All we have to do is walk with God. All we have to do is surrender all to God. All we have to do is set our GPS towards God because God Points the Steps (GPS). And we can trust that with His GPS, we will never get lost.

As I approach the winter of my life, or the fourth quarter as explained in the book, my first goal is to simplify my life. “Simplicity is your friend. It leads directly to contentment.” I began to learn this lesson when we decided to move from a big house to a small apartment five years ago. I began to simplify my life by giving away most of my possessions. It turns out that this is one of the five keys mentioned in the book about “living and dying with no regrets.” The third key is “Give. It. Away.” It says that the more we give away, the happier we’ll be. And it’s not just about giving things away, even though it starts with that. Once we give our money and our stuff away, we must also give ourselves away: our knowledge, our experience, our love, our life… We must give it all away.

The world teaches us just the opposite. The world tells us that the more we have, the happier we’ll be. And we fall into this deception by accumulating things, not just material possessions but also power, status, positions, reputation, degrees. It’s normal to spend the first three quarters of our lives acquiring all these things, but I have gotten to a point in my life that I’m asking myself, “what’s the point?” Yes, I can continue working and saving more money, but what’s the point if I’m not going to have the time to enjoy with my family? I love shopping, but what’s the point of buying things that I won’t use? I couldn’t believe how much I had accumulated during the twenty-five years that I owned my house. When I began to empty out closets, I realized that I had boxes and boxes of stuff that I had not even looked at for years. I knew that if I kept them, I would need to rent storage, and then, I would truly never look at them again. So I decided just to give it all away. And I felt so much lighter and so much happier.

The book says that: “The happiest people spend the fourth quarter giving it all away. It’s just so transformational. The human heart is made to give. But sometimes our hearts are stopped up-constipated, sluggish, unwilling. Your heart wasn’t made to cling to love. It’s made to share it. The more you give, the healthier your heart will be.”

I still don’t know which path God is leading me to during the fourth quarter of my life, but I am so excited to find out. I am going to surrender it all to Him, and I will trust that He will lead me to an incredible adventure where I can give away all that I have learned and accumulated during the first three quarters of my life. I know that if I surrender and trust, I will live with no regrets.

In the meantime, I think I’m overdue for a silent retreat. I need to attend one, sooner rather than later. 

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Surrendering our Pain to God

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.” Mother Teresa

The year 2022, especially the second half, was especially painful for a lot of people. A friend of mine lost a brother and a daughter in the span of a week. A few friends were diagnosed with cancer, and one dear friend lost the battle. Covid was and still is affecting a lot of people. There was a horrific boat accident that killed a young girl and left a few others critically ill. Twelve families and an entire community were deeply affected by this tragedy. There’s a war going on in Eastern Europe that is directly or indirectly affecting the whole world. And on the last three days of the year, we lost Pope Benedict XVI, Barbara Walters and Pelé.

The start of 2023 has also began with a lot of turmoil. We tragically lost a nephew the first week of the year. A young mom-to-be was diagnosed with a tumor, and had to undergo major surgery with the fear that it could affect her unborn baby. Thankfully it didn’t. A grandmother accidentally ran over her 2-year-old granddaughter as she was backing out from the driveway. A lot of sad news, and we are not even one full month into the new year.

As I navigated through the pain of losing my nephew so unexpectedly, a friend reminded me of my resolution for this year: surrender and trust. I have been praying hard for this. In the midst of my prayer, I received an unexpected gift from Dynamic Catholic, a book titled “No Regrets.” God-incidentally, the first chapter was a fable about the main character dying in a car accident. It catapulted me head on into meditating about pain and death.

Pain and death are inevitable. As long as we live here on earth, we are going to deal with tragedies. Illness, accidents, losing loved ones, war… They are all part of daily life. But how we choose to deal with the pain can make all the difference in the world. We are all carrying our own crosses. We can choose to carry them grudgingly and complaining every step, or we can choose to carry them in prayer and offering them up to God. Death is the great equalizer. We are all going to die. We all have an expiration date, we just don’t know when that is. For some it arrives at the age of 2, and for others at the age of 101. Since we don’t know, we might as well make the best of the time that we have been given.

I celebrated my 60th birthday last year.  According to this book written by Allen Hunt and Matthew Kelly, I am at the threshold of the fourth quarter of my life. They divide life as follows: Birth to 20 is the first quarter; 21 to 40 is the second quarter; 41 to 60 is the third quarter; 61 to 80 is the fourth quarter; and if you are blessed to live past 80, consider that bonus time. This book is specifically about living the fourth quarter of our lives with no regrets. I plan to do just that. But it starts with accepting that I’m going to die one day. I have to live my life each day as if it’s my last day because all we have is today. As Mother Teresa reminds us, “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.” 

Saint Benedict, a saint I’m getting to know well since my grandson bears his name, used to say: “Remember your death each day.” It’s good advice since we will die. I don’t want to sound morbid, but not acknowledging that we will die is like trying to hide the sun with one finger. We may not see it, but it’s still there shining its light upon us. Therefore, how we look at death can make all the difference in the world. It doesn’t need to be the darkest hour. It can be the best moment, if we are ready for it.

According to the book, when you die, “You will step into something new. You will transition to new life. Those who become purified in Christ will ultimately join Him and Mary in Heaven. Mary. Jesus. Heaven. These things are true. And real.”

Losing a loved one, especially unexpectedly, can be significantly hard, much harder I believe than facing our own mortality. I have seen it first hand these past two weeks, as I witnessed the excruciating pain that my sister-in-law and her husband are experiencing. I have been dealing with my own pain, but there’s no comparison to their pain. I lost a nephew, but they lost a son.

While going through this, I have been thinking a lot about Mama Mary. She walked with Jesus all the way to the cross. How she must have agonized seeing her only Son crucified on that cross. Mama Mary mirrors the pain of a grieving mother. I have been telling my sister-in-law to surrender her pain to Mary and to trust that God will give her the strength to carry this heavy cross.

In “No Regrets,” there is a meditation about the Assumption. I had never really contemplated Mary’s arrival to heaven. “I envision that moment, at the end of her earthly life, as Jesus comes and takes her by the hand to lead her home. To be at His side in Heaven. Assumed body and soul into heavenly glory.” What a beautiful vision. As I read this and contemplated it, I imagined my nephew arriving into heaven, and the angels leading him to Mary and God. I could picture their embrace as they welcomed him joyfully into his heavenly home. This vision helped me to surrender my pain. 

I trust that God will teach me how to live the fourth quarter of my life, however long it lasts, with “no regrets.” If I’m handed a heavy cross, I will try to carry it while offering up its weight, and I will surrender the pain to God. And I will wake up every day, thanking God for today. I will not live in the past or in the future. I will try to live each day as if it was my last.

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Se Nos Marchó Demasiado Pronto

 "Yo soy la resurrección y la vida. El que cree en mí, aunque esté muerto, vivirá. Y todo aquel que vive y cree en mí, no morirá jamás”. Juan 11:25-26

El 6 de enero perdimos a nuestro sobrino y ahijado. Me ha tomado todo este tiempo encontrar la fuerza en medio del dolor para escribir sobre ello. Pero siento que necesito hacerlo para honrar su memoria.

Conocí a Norlys cuando tenía cuatro añitos. Llegó de Cuba en 1984, junto con su hermano de seis años y sus padres. Era divertido, travieso, dulce y cariñoso. Tenía debilidad por su tío, y yo tenía debilidad por él. Rafe y yo nos sentimos honrados cuando sus padres nos pidieron que fuéramos sus padrinos.

Como jóvenes recién casados ​​y sin hijos, nos encantaba llevar a Yordys y Norlys de paseo. Tenemos recuerdos de llevarlos al Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, parques, la playa y otros lugares divertidos. 

En 1986, adoptamos a un perrito, Brandy.  Norlys adoraba a ese perro.

Norlys encontró su pasión en las artes marciales durante su adolescencia, llegando a conseguir la cinta negra en Karate. Incluso enseñó durante algún tiempo. También era muy inteligente y dedicado a sus estudios. Obtuvo una licenciatura de FIU en Administración de Empresas. Luego consiguió un gran trabajo con la compañía de seguros, State Farm.

Este fin de semana pasado, mis hijos vinieron a estar con la familia y celebrar la vida de su primo. Estaban recordando cómo, a pesar de que él era una década o más mayor que ellos, siempre hacía tiempo para jugar con ellos. A mi hijo menor, Alex, que tiene 15 años menos que Norlys, le encantaba quedarse a dormir en su casa pues le gustaba jugar videos con sus primos mayores.

Mientras Norlys aún trabajaba en State Farm, comenzamos a notar algunos comportamientos extraños. Esto hizo que perdiera su trabajo. Finalmente, a la edad de 29 años, le diagnosticaron con una enfermedad mental conocida como trastorno bipolar.

Mientras navegábamos por el mundo de las enfermedades mentales, aprendimos cuán roto está el sistema. En lugar de ayudar a las personas que padecen esta horrible enfermedad, se crean barreras que a veces son insuperables. Los seguros médicos no pagan lo suficiente, por lo que causan a que la mayoría de los mejores psiquiatras no acepten seguro médico. Esto obviamente no ayuda a la mayoría de las personas que no pueden pagar los honorarios para poder recibir el tratamiento adecuado. Si un paciente adulto no da su consentimiento para que otra persona tome decisiones por él, ni siquiera los padres pueden ayudar. Aunque lo más probable es que el paciente no esté en el estado mental adecuado para tomar decisiones por sí mismo, el sistema impide por completo que cualquier otra persona le ayude.

Los últimos catorce años fueron como una montaña rusa para Norlys. Nunca aceptó por completo de que lo que él tenía era una enfermedad. Iba de médico en médico, a veces recibiendo el tratamiento adecuado y otras veces no.

El 6 de enero salió de su casa temprano en la mañana. Para el mediodía, su madre estaba muy preocupada porque no podía localizarlo, y era extraño que dejara solo a su cachorro de siete meses durante tanto tiempo. A las 3:30 pm, la policía se presentó en su casa para confirmar sus peores temores. Norlys se nos había ido para siempre. 

Hemos pasado los últimos diez días preguntándonos si había algo más que pudiéramos haber hecho. Y volvemos con la misma respuesta cada vez. El ya era un adulto y no podíamos obligarlo a obtener la ayuda que necesitaba. Tratar de convencerlo cuando en su mente estaba mejorando era imposible. Lo único que nos quedan ahora son los recuerdos y la convicción de que está en un lugar mejor donde ya no sufre más.

Su hermano mayor nos pidió que “recordáramos a Norlys por quién era, no por cómo actuaba debido a su salud mental”. Y eso es lo que haremos. Siempre recordaremos al dulce niño que robó nuestros corazones, al adolescente que se tomó el tiempo para jugar con sus primos más jóvenes, al joven adulto que amaba las artes marciales y al adulto que se esforzó tanto por hacer del mundo un lugar mejor dedicando su tiempo a llevarle comida y biblias a los pobres sin hogar en las calles de Miami. 

Descansa en paz querido Norlys. Te marchaste de nuestro lado demasiado pronto, pero nunca te olvidaremos y esperamos con la ayuda De Dios que nos volveremos a ver.

¡¡¡Te amaremos siempre!!!

Gone Too Soon

 “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

On January 6th, we lost our nephew and godson. It’s taken me all this time to find the strength amidst the pain to write about it. But I feel I need to do this in order to honor his memory. 

I met Norlys when he was four years old. He arrived from Cuba in 1984, together with his six year old brother and his parents. He was funny, mischievous, sweet and loving. He had a soft spot for his uncle, and I had a soft spot for him. Rafe and I were honored when his parents asked us to be his godparents. 

As young newlyweds without kids, we loved taking Yordys and Norlys places. We have memories of taking them to the Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, parks, the beach and other fun places. 

We got our first dog, Brandy, in 1986, and I remember how much Norlys loved that dog. 

As a teenager and young adult, Norlys found his passion in martial arts. He pursued it all the way until he got his black belt. He even taught for a while. He was also very smart and dedicated to his studies. He obtained a Bachelor’s degree from FIU in Business Administration. He then landed a great job with State Farm. 

This past weekend, my kids came over to be with the family and celebrate their cousin’s life. They were reminiscing how even though he was a decade or more older than they were, he always made time to play with them. My youngest, Alex, who is 15 years younger than Norlys, loved to sleep over because he enjoyed playing video games with his older cousins.

While Norlys was still working at State Farm, we began to notice some strange behaviors. This caused him to lose his job. Eventually, at the age of 29, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

While navigating the world of mental illness, we learned how broken the system is. Instead of helping people who suffer from this horrible illness, it creates barriers that are sometimes impossible to overcome. Most of the best psychiatrists don’t accept insurance because the insurance companies don’t pay them enough. This obviously doesn’t help the majority of the people that cannot afford to pay the fees that could provide them with the best possible treatment. If an adult patient doesn’t consent for another person to make decisions for them, not even the parents can help. Even though the patient may not be in the right state of mind to make decisions for themselves, the system completely blocks anyone else from helping them out.

The last fourteen years were a rollercoaster ride for Norlys. He struggled with the fact that what he had was an illness. He bounced from doctor to doctor, sometimes getting the right treatment and other times being short changed. 

On January 6th, he left his home early in the morning. By noon, his mom was very worried because she could not get a hold of him, and it was strange that he would leave his seven month Alaskan puppy by himself for so long. At 3:30 pm, the police showed up to confirm her worst fears. Norlys was gone. 

We have spent the last ten days asking ourselves if there was anything else we could have done. And we come back with the same answer every time. He was an adult and we couldn’t force him to get the help he needed. Trying to convince him when in his mind he was getting better was impossible. All we have left now are the memories and the conviction that he is in a better place where he is not suffering any longer. 

His older brother asked us to “remember Norlys for who he was, not how he acted because of his mental health.” And that’s what we will do. We will always remember the sweet boy that stole our hearts, the teenager that took the time to play with his younger cousins, the young adult that loved martial arts, and the adult that tried so hard to make the world a better place by spending his days taking food and bibles to the homeless. 

Rest in peace dear Norlys. You were taken from us much too soon, but we will never forget you. 

We love you forever!!!

We are God’s Instruments

“In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord.” Pope Benedict XVI, God Is Love: Deus Caritas Est

Surrendering my life to God, to a certain degree, frees me from worrying about tomorrow. In the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer Him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as He grants us the strength.” We are His instruments, and if we surrender ourselves to Him, He will lead the way. 

There are many times when I feel discouraged because things are not working out the way that I thought they would. Last year, I sent out my finished manuscript to three different publishers. Every time I received a rejection, I felt discouraged. After the last rejection, I lost the courage to submit it to a fourth publisher. Even though hope was my theme for 2022, I felt hopeless.

Last month, out of the blue, I received a phone call from a friend of a friend who wanted to know how to go about publishing her own book. I told her that I was probably the least likely person to offer her advice since my book had not been published. But we talked for a while and she said something that made me reflect. Why do I want to publish my book? The main reason is that I want to share God’s message with as many people as possible. I did not write the book to make money or to become famous. On the contrary, popularity scares me, and my plan was always to donate the book royalties if there were any. 

I ended up sharing with her all the research that I had done regarding Catholic publishers. Each has its own set of rules and  requirements. But once we hung up, I felt like I had received more help than I had given her. She gave me the courage to try with one more publisher. Tan Books now has my manuscript. But if it doesn’t work out, I will attempt to self-publish it. I learned from her that self-publishing an e-book is actually free. If anyone buys it, I receive a small royalty. 

Now, I just have to wait for Tan Books to get back to me, but even if I receive another rejection, I will not be discouraged. While I wait, I will start researching how to go about self-publishing. I will be ready with Plan B. And I don’t need to worry because I am just God’s instrument, and He will lead the way. I’m surrendering and entrusting my book to Him. 

Thank You Lord, for placing this unexpected angel on my path. It has freed me from feeling discouraged, and worrying about tomorrow. As St. Ignatius said it so well: “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.”

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

2023: Surrender and Trust

 “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” Matthew 6:34

Hope was the theme for my 2022 blog posts. As we ended the year, I was praying and meditating about which theme to choose for 2023. I have been debating between two words: surrender and trust. One day, I think that my theme should be trust. Trust that everything will happen according to God’s plan. Trust God in all things. Place my trust in God because He has my best interest at heart. Then, I change my mind, and I think that I should go with surrender. Surrender because I am not in control, God is. Surrender all my life to God. Surrender because God knows best. 

Today, it finally hit me. Why do I have to choose just one word? After all, trust and surrender go hand in hand. If I trust God, I should surrender everything to Him. Every time I plan something, He laughs and changes all my plans anyway. Why then should I waste my time planning my life minute by minute? Might as well let go and let God. He knows much better than me what I need. 

Therefore, It’s been decided. Surrender and trust will be my theme for this year. My writings will revolve around those two words. 

I hope you have a year filled with trust in the Lord, and that you trust Him enough to surrender all to Him. 

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.