Twenty Pieces of Wisdom to my Son and Daughter-in-Law as They Begin their Marriage Journey

“Marriage is a Journey, not the Destination.”

Today, you begin your “Marriage Journey.” I call it a journey because that’s what it is. It’s a journey of love, sprinkled with unexpected surprises, lots of rainbows, plenty of sunshine, but also many rainy days, uphill battles and a few tornadoes. Even though I am not an expert on this journey because I learn something new every day, I am 34 years ahead of you, so I would like today to share some of the wisdom that I have picked up along the way. I hope that if you ever read my blog in the future, it will help you, not to resolve your problems or to answer all your questions, but hopefully, it will help you to realize that you are not alone on this journey.

Here are twenty pieces of wisdom that I have picked up during my own journey. They are in no particular order, and not one is more important than the other:

    1. Celebrate each anniversary as if it’s your first one. If you enjoy eating out at fancy restaurants, make it a point of always going to a fancy restaurant on the 27th of October. If for whatever reason you cannot, bring the fancy restaurant to you. We have celebrated anniversaries at home, in restaurants, and even in the hospital. When you, Rafi, had encephalitis at the age of two, we celebrated our 7th anniversary at Miami Children’s, but we still had our fancy meal by your side.

    2. Send each other love messages. Your generation doesn’t write on paper much anymore, but once in a while, surprise each other with an actual paper card. We have 37 years of cards and letters stored inside a box. Just recently, we took them all out and read a few from when we started dating. We had to laugh at how tacky we sounded, but we were young and in love. We are not so young anymore, but we are still in love, and we still send each other cards. You can also send each other a quick text message to let each other know that “I’m thinking of you.”

    3. Go on an impromptu date in the middle of the day. You can go on a lunch date, or just meet at Central Park and share a sandwich together.

    4. Say “I love you” to each other at least once a day. And never stop saying it. Even if it’s at night, right before you go to sleep.

    5. When you argue, and you will argue, never, ever, bring the word “divorce” into the argument. You have made a commitment to each other for a lifetime. The world will let you know that if it doesn’t work out, divorce is always a choice. Don’t allow it to be. Every argument, every disagreement, has a solution, but when you bring “divorce” into the argument as an option, it will become the solution. We have seen many marriages that could have been saved end up in divorce because that seemed the only solution, and we know there is always another path, the one that leads to reconciliation.

    6. When the children arrive, don’t allow them to become the center of your universe. You two are the roots of the tree and the children are just the branches. The tree cannot survive without the roots. Your children will be happier if you are happy and you have solid, strong roots. Yes, they will demand your full attention, but don’t take each other for granted. Let them know that mom and dad also need “alone” time.

    7. Take one vacation a year without the kids. It can be just a weekend getaway, but that time alone without them will sprinkle a much needed dose of fertilizer into your marriage. And yes, you will spend the entire weekend talking about the kids.

    8. Surprise each other with gifts “just because.” It doesn’t need to be anything big or fancy. Picking up Emily’s favorite dessert on your way home, or getting Rafi a puzzle because he still enjoys them it’s enough to let each other know that you care.

    9. Communication is one of the most important ingredients to a successful marriage. If anything is bothering you, even if it seems insignificant, bring it up in conversation. It’s better to be open than to allow something small to grow into something big. Don’t let the glass get full drop by drop because eventually, there will be one drop that will cause the glass to spill.

    10. When we got married, we were told never to go to bed angry. That advice did not work for us. It is better for us to simmer overnight and discuss the problem the following morning after a good night sleep. You need to find what works for you. If being angry at each other is going to keep you awake at night, then make-up before going to bed. If you need to let the anger simmer down, then give yourselves time to cool off. It’s better to be quiet than to say things to each other that you will later regret, because words do hurt and they cannot be taken back.

    11. Never sleep in separate rooms even if you are so angry at each other that you don’t feel like sharing a bed. If you get in that habit, eventually you will end up living separately within the same home. Many nights we have gone to bed angry, and we don’t even want to look at each other. But we still share our bed. The following morning, the problem doesn’t seem as big as it did the night before.

    12. Allow the child in you to come out once in a while, or a lot. Yes, I give you permission to continue catching Pokémon even after you turn 95. If you love doing puzzles, like I do, buy yourselves a 1,000 piece puzzle and put it in the middle of the living room table. This drives your dad insane but I do it anyway. Continue inviting friends over for board games night. Your children are going to love the child in you, so sit with them on the floor to play and let the inner child have its way.

    13. Your children will need your love, not an inheritance. LOL. Sorry guys, you may not get an inheritance but I promise to love you a lot. Seriously, you both studied hard, you work hard, so now, enjoy the fruits of your labor. If you can afford to travel in first class, don’t hold back, enjoy it. Continue going to fancy Michelin star restaurants. Travel to the four corners of the world. I know you are doing many of these things already, but don’t stop doing them after the children come. The best gift you can give them is to share life with them, rather than give them material things.

    14. Even though in the previous wisdom it seems I’m telling you to go spend all your money, you still need to save for a rainy day. Remember, I’m an accountant, and in my experience, I can tell you that 90% of the population live from day to day. This has nothing to do with how much you earn. It has to do with creating good habits. We used to save when we got married and were earning just enough to make ends meet, just like we save now that we are earning a whole lot more. I have clients that make a lot of money but they don’t save a penny. They spend everything they earn in material possessions. You never know when life can throw you a curve ball and you may be without a job. They say it’s good to have six months of your salary saved up. I say, if possible, have one year of your salary saved up.

    15. Do not allow your jobs or your material possessions to become the god in your lives. Take time to enjoy life. And not all that is good costs money. If you enjoy the mountains, take a day off and go for a hike. If you enjoy the outdoors, spend a day at the park. If you enjoy the water, go down by the river and have yourselves a picnic. I know you love museums, continue visiting like you do, once a week. And also, find time to rest. There is no need to be always on the go. Take time to read a book, watch a movie or enjoy a TV show. If your job starts to take up every minute of your day, where you find yourselves just working and sleeping, stop and plan a different route. Yes, work is important because it opens the doors to many things, but you cannot live to work, you have to work to live.

    16. You have both been blessed with an amazing education and with an incredible job. Most of the world lives in poverty. Share your blessings, your time, your treasures, and your talent with those in need. You cannot help the whole world, but you can help a small fraction. Find your passion, and put it to good use. When we serve others, we receive much more than what we give. There is joy in serving, and there is so much need out there. You don’t need to go very far. I am sure there are people in need in your own backyard. Don’t hold back. Share what you have so generously received, and trust me, your life will have so much more meaning.

    17. Do not live your marriage in isolation. We humans were created to live in community. Build friendships and cherish them. Find a group, whether is through work, through church, or through your friends, where you can get together once in a while to do activities together or simply to talk. This will be especially important when you become parents. You will need a whole community behind you to lend you a hand whether is for advice, babysitting or just for some adult conversation. And you, in return, will be there for them as well.

    18. Make room for God in your lives. I know that right now you are young, and you feel that you have the world in your hands. But life can turn upside down from one minute to the next. Don’t keep God inside a drawer only to remember Him when the going gets tough. Your journey will be a lot easier if you allow Him to walk with you every step of the way, not only when the going gets tough.

    19. I hope you make me a grandma soon. A good friend told me recently that whomever said that children were the happiness in a marriage was sterile. LOL. I must agree with her. Children are not the happiness in a marriage. The two of you and the love that you feel for each other are the happiness in the marriage. However, children will complete you. You may not have children, either by choice or simply because they won’t come. And you will still be happy without them. But if you do decide to have them and you are blessed with them, as tough as life can get sometimes when a child gets sick or has a problem at school or gets in trouble in college, the joy that they bring to a marriage far surpasses the pain. I can tell you from my own experience that my life would not have been complete without my three children. Anything that I have accomplished is inferior to my becoming a mom, and I know that dad feels the same way, even though he will never admit it, LOL.

    20. You are not alone on this journey, so whenever you have a question or need some advice, don’t hesitate to grab the phone and make a call. You can call dad and I at any time, day or night. We will always be here for you, and even if we give you a hard time once in a while, we are your biggest cheerleaders because we want you to succeed and have a long lasting marriage.

May God bless you today and always, and may He always walk by your side even when you feel that you don’t need Him. May He bless you with the children that I know He has already chosen to give you, and may you never take each other for granted. Enjoy the marriage journey, and may it be filled with joy, adventure, surprises and lots of unending love. May you live “ramily” ever after.

Shine Bright like a Diamond

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

As I headed to Church of the Little Flower, the song “Diamonds” by Rihanna started playing on the radio. As I listened to the words, “we’ll never die, we’re like diamonds in the sky,” I could not help but think what an appropriate description this was for my friend Mary.

I met Mary when my children started attending St. Theresa School. My oldest, Rafi, was in the same grade as her second daughter, Sammy. I don’t recall the exact moment that I met her, but I do recall that I always looked up to her because she exuded confidence. I was shy and introverted, while Mary was the complete opposite. I’m not sure how she discovered that I was an accountant like she was, so I was in complete awe when she approached me to see if I could give her a hand with the accounting for their construction company. By this time, Mary was expecting her fourth child, which turned out to be twins. I only helped her for a little while because she was “super woman,” and soon, she was juggling five kids and a business as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

After that, our paths kept crossing and our friendship grew. This friendship peaked when I attended an Emmaus retreat, and she was the main leader. I later found out that she had brought Emmaus to Little Flower. If I admired her before, now my admiration towards her took a completely different level. She led that Emmaus with such humility, that she was a true inspiration of what it meant to serve. I kept asking myself, how can she handle a home, five kids, a business, her involvement in the Church and at her kids’ schools, and still find time to serve at Emmaus. It took me a while to discover the answer, but I eventually did. Her secret weapon was Jesus Christ. “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. Mary took this verse into her life, and she lived by those words.

When years later, I was asked to help bring Emmaus to Belen Jesuit, my first reaction was “I don’t have time.” I’m handling a home, three kids, a business... and then I thought of Mary. If she could do it, I could do it too because Jesus Christ would provide the tools. I never told Mary, and now I regret it because I honestly thought we had more time. But I know that she knows because I know where she is.

Mary lived her life, not for herself but to serve others. She served her Church. She served her friends. She served her family. She adored her husband and her five children, but she found time to help her community without neglecting them. The last time that I saw Mary was very appropriately at the Nico’s Promise fundraiser. Even though she was undergoing treatment, she was glowing with joy and happiness doing what she loved to do, serve. She was shining bright like a diamond. As I listened to the song, I realized that’s what Mary did. She shined bright like a diamond. She spread the light of God wherever she went and to whomever she met. I witnessed this both at the funeral home, and at her resurrection mass. Both where overflowing with people that had crossed her path at some point. And the conversations around me all revolved about the same topic, how Mary had touched them in multiple ways. Church of the Little Flower looked like it was Easter Sunday. And it was, because we were celebrating Mary’s Easter.

She leaves behind a beautiful family that right now are crying in pain and disbelief. Ana, her sister-in-law, told me that it never even crossed her mind that Mary would not return from Boston because she was such a fighter. Claudia and Maria wrote on their Facebook pages about their relationship with Mary. It made me think that they began as sisters-in-law, but somewhere along the way, they had dropped the “in-law” and become true sisters. Her brother Fernando, spoke beautiful words at her wake, words from the heart that only a little brother who adored his sister could have spoken. I could see Mary smiling at him from heaven. Numerous friends have shared testimonies through social media. The amount of friends that Mary had are too many to count. They are like stars in the sky, shining as a testimony to the life that Mary led.

Stephanie, Sammy, Kyle, Joseph, and JP, I know that the pain in your heart surpasses all understanding. I have no words that can alleviate this pain. All I can say is to hold on to Jesus Christ like your mom taught you. She will live on in your heart forever. And have no doubt in your mind that she is in heaven, because she prepared for the moment that she would be face to face with God all of her life.

Jose, you have lost your best friend, your soulmate, your partner, your wife... She brought you to Jesus, and He will help you continue this journey on earth until you meet Mary again in heaven. Mary will also send you many signs, to let you know that she is by your side in spirit, and one day, you will dance again with her.

Thank you for everything you taught me, Mary. If I can live my remaining time here on earth doing just one fraction of what you were able to accomplish, then hopefully at the end of my journey, God will open the doors to paradise so I can meet you once again in heaven.

Mary shined bright like a diamond while she carried her mission here on earth. May all of us that had the privilege to come in contact with her life, follow her example and live by her legacy. When we look up to the sky, we will know that she is now shining her light from heaven, because she is one of God’s shiniest diamonds. Rest In Peace, my friend.

Bringing God to College

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14

After graduating from the University of Miami in the spring of 2016, Michael Fuentes decided to put his career on hold, and he accepted a full-time college missionary position with an organization called FOCUS. The goal of the organization is to invite college students into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and His Church. They do this by inspiring and equipping students for a lifetime of Christ-centered Evangelization, Discipleship, and Friendship. They work primarily with college students, ages 18 to 22, who are experiencing life outside of their home for the first time. Most of these students are too preoccupied with finding friends and studying, instead of devoting any time to Christ.

I met with Michael this summer, and I was impressed by his zeal and passion. He originally signed up for a two-year commitment, but decided to extend his commitment by an additional year. I asked him: “What is your motivation?” And his answer blew me away: “When God called, I could not say no.” I asked myself, how would I have reacted if any one of my three children had told me that they were putting their careers on hold to do missionary work. I may have been thrilled for one year... but three years? I probably would have had mixed feelings because let’s be real, college tuition is pretty high. Rafael and I always told them that if we could, we would cover the cost of their college tuition so they could graduate debt free, but in return, they had to study something that would lead to a career where our investment in their education paid off, not for us, but for them. So if they came to us with “missionary” plans, more than likely, we would have told them to first go to work, save some money, and then, if they still wanted to go change the world, then go do it with their own money. So I must say that not only am I in awe of Michael, but also of his parents who have allowed him to answer God’s call and follow his vocation.

As a missionary, Michael’s goal is to help men encounter Christ in their lives. He accomplishes this goal through one on one mentorship, bible studies and authentic friendships with guys he encounters on campus. Michael spent his first year at Columbia University. He quickly realized how much the students were missing an encounter with the Lord. But although this was a very difficult campus, in the year that he served, he saw the rewards of his mission by increasing male participation from 4 to 25. The following year, he was called to serve at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. Here, Michael helped FOCUS launch FOCUS Latino, with the hopes to reach out to more Hispanics in our country. He found Mason to be quite different from Columbia. In one year, he was able to minister to over 300 students at the Catholic Center. He says that “it was a blessing to be able to see spiritual multiplication in full effect.” Due to his success in leading the Hispanic outreach program, Michael has returned to Mason where he will continue to work with the hispanic movement during the next school year.

In addition to spreading the word of God in the college campus thru bible studies and other activities, Michael took four students to the Yucatan Peninsula during Spring Break. They did not go to the beaches to have the time of their lives like most college students do during their spring break. Instead, they went on a mission trip where they served the poor in a local village by doing house visits and presenting them with the Word of the gospel.

Michael has allowed the Lord to be the sculptor of his life, but he does not receive a salary to do his missionary work. In order to accomplish this task, he needs financial and spiritual support! For this, during the summer, his job is to seek Mission Partners to embark with him on this mission of living out the new evangelization. Unfortunately, most of us, cannot take a year off to go preach at college campuses even though the need is definitely there, as I was able to experience with each of my three children. But most of us can help young men and women, like Michael, by supporting them with monthly financial contributions and/or prayers. In return, Michael will reward us by praying for our families and any of our needs.

If you would like to learn more about Michael and the FOCUS mission, here is a link to his support page:

Michael Fuentes’ Support Page

Please pray for Michael as he strives to help students have a radical encounter with Christ that will change their lives like the Lord changed his, simply because he chose to answer the call with a resounding YES.

Wedding Bells in the Digital Century

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

All the advances of the digital century cannot replace the importance of visiting wedding venues in person or actually tasting the food that will be served. Thus, last weekend, we headed to Princeton with the bride and groom. They are on the countdown. In less than three months, Rafi and Emily will say “I do.” They invited us to accompany them, and I am so grateful that we were able to spend such a whirlwind weekend with them. They have chosen a truly enchanting place to get married. We had not been back since they graduated six years ago, and even though we discovered a few new and more modern buildings that have sprouted up in these last six years, the place still retains its Gothic charm. I’m ecstatic that they have chosen to make their vows to each other in the place where their love story began.

As we ran from reception tasting to cake tasting to hair and makeup testing, I couldn’t help but reminisce about our own wedding thirty-four years ago. And in the process, I came to the conclusion that in three decades, some things have changed a lot but the most important things remain the same.

Rafael gave me the ring the day that I turned twenty years old. He wanted to give it to me right at the stroke of midnight. We had spent the Fourth of July at the beach with friends and family. Unfortunately, we stayed a bit longer than he would have liked so the clock struck midnight when we were driving on the dolphin expressway. But nothing was going to deter him from his plan. He pulled to the side of the road, got off, and left me inside the car wondering “what in the world is he up to?” He opened the trunk of his very old Ramona (the name he had given to his very unreliable, antique Toyota) and he took out a very large box. When I removed the gift wrap, and I opened it, I discovered to my amazement, a pair of very old and smelly, tennis shoes. “What is this?” I asked him. “Keep searching,” he said. Buried between the shoes and ripped pieces of newspaper, I found a smaller box, also gift wrapped. By this time, my heart was beating pretty fast because I had already figured out by the size of the box what was in it. Sure enough, I found inside the most beautiful ring my eyes had ever seen, not because of its size but because I was in love, and anything Rafael would have given me on that night was more precious than the largest diamond on earth. I’m still waiting for the official proposal, though, since getting on one knee on the side of the busy expressway would have been a huge risk.

Today, a proposal requires a lot of planning. Some couples use the advantages of technology to prepare a video or a digital presentation to use during the proposal. Many do it at restaurants, and they hire the help of the chefs and servers to plan an unforgettable night. I have seen planes flying over the beach with the question in a banner. Rafi chose to propose to Emily at the New York Metropolitan Museum, one of their favorite weekend spots. He even planned a scavenger hunt

that ended with her eyes closed and him in front of her on one knee.

It was indeed very special, and made my expressway “non” proposal seem insignificant by comparison, but at the end of the day, the important thing is the love behind the proposal itself. It does not matter where it takes place. On those first minutes of July 5th, 1982, I was the happiest girl in the world. I did not need a one carat diamond ring or an airplane flying over my head with a sign asking “Christy, will you marry me?” That impromptu moment in the middle of a busy expressway was more special to me than if he had hired a philharmonic orchestra to propose with background music.

We wanted to get married one year after he gave me the ring, but we were still going to school, and we didn’t have enough money for the wedding that we had envisioned. Therefore, we decided to start saving and postpone the wedding for another year. It was unusual to have a two-year engagement in the 1980s. Today, it is very normal. Rafi and Emily got engaged two years ago today. I guess, we started a trend.

By the time we got married, we had not saved nearly enough to have the wedding of our dreams. As two promising accountants, we sat down by the bay and we prepared a budget. The most important thing for us was the wedding ceremony at the church. The second most important thing was to have all our family and friends with us. Rafael’s family alone surpassed the one hundred count. We were very involved with the Youth Groups from our respective parishes, and also with Youth Encounters, so our “friends” list was also over one hundred. And even though my family was tiny, what we lacked in family we more than made up in friends, so that was another hundred. And then, there were the fifty or so “compromisos” that we simply could not avoid. So we compromised. We would invite everyone to the church, but we would not mention a reception in the invitations. Those that attended the church service would be invited, at the end of the ceremony, to go next door for a cocktail reception. Three-hundred twenty persons showed up to the church. When I walked in, on a Friday evening at the end of June, I could not believe my eyes. The church was packed. And my heart bursted with joy.

Today, a wedding entails careful planning to the last minute detail. There are engagement parties. There are bachelor and bachelorette getaways in addition to the bridal showers. There are rehearsal dinners. There are food and cake tastings prior to the reception. The flowers are selected carefully after various arrangements are made to have an array to choose from. The wedding gift registry requires a pre-arranged coordinated meeting with the store. There are make-up artists and hair stylists hired to go to the hotel to take care of the entire wedding party. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that the bride and entire wedding party usually stay at a hotel the night before the wedding, even if the wedding takes place in their hometown. Many hire a wedding planner, and there are even fairy godmothers available that for a fee will take care of any last minute fiascos like a loose button or a tangled zipper. And if the wedding is a “destination” wedding like Rafi and Emily’s will be, that adds an additional layer to all the planning: where will the guests stay, what activities will they provide for the wedding weekend, how will the guests be transported from hotel to church to reception and back to the hotel.

There is also a new trend known as “first look.” In the 80s, it was common for the bride to take pictures prior to the wedding, by herself. I remember putting my wedding dress, and getting my make-up and hair done about a month before the wedding. I then headed with my mom and grandmother to the Spanish Monastery to take those pictures. Today, that is not popular anymore. But many couples choose to take pictures together in their wedding ensemble prior to the actual wedding. Thus, the “first look.” It is planned in a way that the bride enters the room where the groom is waiting, and he gets to have the “first look” prior to the ceremony. In this way, they can take the pictures without having to take extra time to capture those special moments on the day of the wedding, or having to return the following day like we saw in Princeton on Sunday morning. There was a couple in full wedding attire that probably got married the previous day, and they were taking pictures in different spots by the Princeton chapel. Rafi and Emily have not yet decided if they will do the “first look” a few weeks prior to the wedding or if they will take some time right after the ceremony to take their precious photos that will capture their special day forever. Regardless of what they decide, we walked around with them to help them select the most enchanting spots for their wedding pictures. It was not difficult. Princeton is filled with those captivating sites.

I guess a lot of this pre-planning is very helpful and could take away from the stress. It certainly would have been helpful when I showed up for my hair and make-up appointment on the day of my wedding, and my make-up “artist” did not have any make-up. Thank God that in a Cuban salon in Little Havana, there were plenty of “abuelas” who turned into my fairy godmothers, and saved the day. They emptied out their large handbags, and between everyone present, they managed to produce a make-up kit that would have been the envy of Estée Lauder or Christian Dior.

Our wedding gift registry was made during two weeknights. One night we went to Luria’s and another night we went to Burdines. Neither store is around any more but we still have a lot of the gifts that we received on that day. I’m not sure if all the stores do this today, but I learned from Rafi and Emily that Crate and Barrel hosts a private registry event once a month. On this day, the couples that are getting married get to have the store to themselves before they open to the general public. While they learn about registry perks, they are treated to refreshments. They get a tour of the store, they receive free samples, they get product demos, and a ten percent discount that they can use for up to six months after their wedding. And of course, in this digital century where technology is the name of the game, they can use their own phones to scan the items and add them to their registry. No more paper and pencil. No more walking around the aisles, a little lost, wondering what would really be practical and what would end up inside the kitchen cabinet getting dusty, like the punch bowl which we have used only once in thirty-four years... but we still have it.

I had no idea what my flowers would look like. I still have no idea what my flowers looked like because honestly, I did not even notice them. My mind was in the clouds, not in the flowers. All I know is that I went with my mother to meet a guy named Humberto. He had done my mother’s flowers for her wedding in Cuba. When he found out, he gave me the flowers for a dime a dozen. I think the fact that I told him that my favorite flowers were daisies probably had something to do with the bargain I got. But I must say that at least, in my wedding bouquet which is the only thing that got captured on a picture, he outdid himself. He used plenty of white roses and no daisies.

He saved those for the flower girls, even though, I found out after the wedding that their daisy crowns were so large, that the moms had to improvise or else they would have worn them as necklaces instead of crowns.

We tasted the food that was served at our reception every time we went to the bakery... we are still tasting it to this day. On our meager budget, all we could afford to feed our potential three hundred plus guests was pastelitos, croqueticas and bocaditos. We were also helped in this department by two fairy godmothers, Amelia and Carmen, who managed to put together a plate with little canapés that looked like they would melt in your mouth. Of course, I would not know. I did not eat a single bite that night. During our weekend in Princeton, we accompanied Rafi and Emily to their food tasting. I expected that we would be served a few bites to try the different choices. I was wrong. We were treated to a banquet. They first brought us an entire assortment of different cheeses and fruits. Then, they brought out a tray that contained a total of thirty-six appetizers, six samples of six different choices. Just like on my wedding day, I hardly ate because unfortunately, I chose the wrong date to have an upset stomach. After trying out all the appetizers, both the future bride and groom, and Rafael, were pretty full, but we were not done. Then came the salads and the main courses. They brought nine full plates, three with beef, three with fish, and three with chicken. Each main course was accompanied by two side dishes. I tried the chicken. It was delicious. And then, as if that was not enough, they brought us a plate filled with an assortment of pastries... They looked divine. I will make sure to take care of myself so I can savor all those delicacies on the day of the wedding.

After the food tasting at the boathouse where they will host their reception, we drove for one hour to the bakery that will provide their wedding cake. I was wondering whether this was the only bakery in New Jersey. It is not, but it seemed to be a very popular venue since it was filled with couples waiting to try their exquisite selections. When our turn came, we sat in front of a young lady that began by showing us an assortment of cake pictures in her computer screen. The bride and groom could choose from a 3-tier or a 4-tier cake, natural flowers or sugar flowers, and many colors were available but the most popular for a wedding were cream color, all white or a mixture of cream and white. Then they had to select the design for the cake. And then came the best part, the cake tasting, because even though selecting a cake digitally is very convenient, the most important thing is the taste, and that cannot be experienced digitally. When they brought out sixteen pieces of cake, I could not help myself and I gave in to the temptation. I figured Peptobismol would take care of my tummy later on. How to choose two flavors from those sixteen delicious choices was beyond me: from dulce de leche to red velvet with cream cheese to various flavors of chocolate to raspberry to vanilla to buttercream... I limited myself to try just two and they both tasted delicious. But Rafi and Emily tried them all, and they were able to narrow it down to their favorite two choices. They left with a small box that contained these flavors so they could eat them again later on to make sure those were what they wanted. I can’t even remember my cake but one thing I am certain of, I did not have that many choices and I did not get to taste my cake in advance.

Even though in the digital century planning a wedding has become more complex in my opinion, the one thing that has not changed in all these years is the joy reflected on the faces of the bride and groom as they go through the planning stages. Sharing this weekend with them was so special because I was able to see first hand how much they love each other, and how happy they feel to take their relationship to the next level. It was exactly how Rafael and I felt thirty-four years ago when we said our vows to each other in front of God and the people that most mattered to us. We do not have a video from our special day, and we only have a handful of pictures, but we took pictures with all the people that mattered.

We did not have the latest band at our wedding, but we danced until our feet were aching. At the end of the day, the most important thing is the two people that are getting married and the commitment that they are making to each other. We are on the countdown to Rafi and Emily’s wedding, and all I can hope for them is a lifetime of happiness. Their love and the vows that they will say to each other on their wedding day is more important than the food that will be served at their reception or the pictures they will take. I have the memories of my magical wedding night stored in my heart forever, but the most important thing is that my Prince Charming is still around, even though he never officially proposed.

Discovering a Different Face of Vegas

“All of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8

I visited Vegas about seventeen years ago during the month of July. I promised myself that I would not return to Vegas, ever. But if by any chance, I happened to return, it would be in the winter. Apparently, God has a sense of humor, because here I am, once again, in Vegas, smack in the middle of the month of July. According to my weather app, the temperature right now is 93 degrees, which is actually not too bad considering that when I checked it yesterday from Miami, it was 108 degrees.

The first time I came, with my hubby, three small children, and my parents, I honestly felt that I had entered a parallel realm, and I was in hell. Between the heat, the gambling, and the pornography, I was pretty sure that Vegas and hell were one and the same. This second time, I did not come by choice. My son Rafi invited me. He is in a conference titled “Next Generation Disability Inclusion.” The opportunity to spend three days with my son was stronger than my apprehension of returning to Vegas in the month of July.

This time, though, I have experienced Vegas in a totally different way. First of all, I am super proud of my son who is using his disability to make a difference in the lives of others. He shared his story yesterday, and will share it again on Thursday. I was not able to witness it yesterday because it was a private audience. I did watch the video this morning, and I had a hard time holding back the tears. It’s a good thing I got a peek, so I can be ready on Thursday when I will be present for his presentation.

As I walked around my hotel today, I saw the next generation. I saw young blind people walking around with canes or service dogs. I saw young people in wheelchairs. I saw young people that looked normal on the outside but just like my son, probably have some kind of hidden disability that is invisible to the eye. But the most important thing that I saw today was hope. I saw the hope of a new generation of business leaders that are accepting of each other. Instead of concentrating on their differences, they are seeing each other as humans. This is the face of Vegas that I had not experienced the first time around.

Of course, I did not stay within the boundaries of my hotel. Today, I went out to explore other hotels nearby. Yes, the gambling is still very much present. The heat is just as unbearable as it was seventeen years ago. And even though I did not receive any pamphlets on the street inviting me to visit the clubs where pornography is more prevalent than anything else, I know that pornography is a big part of this city. But today, I also experienced the beauty around me. The Bellagio has this magnificent flower gardens that completely overshadow the casino next door.

The Wynn Hotel also has beautiful gardens, and a lake known as “Lake of Dreams” with a beautiful waterfall. But the best part of today is that I got to witness the goodness in humanity. One time, I asked a total stranger to take my picture, and he took, not just one, but four different poses. Two more times, complete strangers offered to take my picture without me even asking. I also talked to the lady that was cleaning my room, to the waitress at the bar by the pool, to the server at the restaurant... and in all of them, I saw the face of God. I even told my son Rafi as we were having dinner, “the best thing about Vegas is that it provides jobs for a lot of people.” His answer, in his unique peculiar way was: “That’s right, it provides jobs for taxi drivers, for restaurant waiters, for people that handout pornography flyers...” I guess, there is opportunity for everyone in Las Vegas.

One of this taxi drivers that I got to meet was a young man from Afghanistan. He has lived here just for eighteen months. He was my taxi driver from the airport to the hotel. I must confess that my first reaction when he told me where he was from was to cringe. It’s amazing the effect that the media has on our brains. The constant bombardment of negative news coming from that part of the world, makes us think that everyone from there must be a terrorist. But that is not the case. I have learned from my children, who are part of the next generation, that everyone deserves a chance. My taxi driver turned out to be a very sweet and humble young man who is here looking for what all of us want, a better life and a better future for his family. He has a 17-month-old son and 4-month-old daughter to think of, and even though he misses his country and his family back in Afghanistan, he realizes that his children will have a much better chance at a better life here than over there.
 
I guess God wanted me to see that even though Vegas has not changed much in seventeen years, we can find Him anywhere we go. When I came the first time, I was just looking at all the dark faces of Vegas, and I missed the beauty that was probably present back then too. This time around, even though I came with apprehension, I also came with an open mind, and I decided that if I had to be here, I would give Vegas a chance. And I was happily surprised to discover that Vegas does have a different face, and it is quite beautiful.

Thoughts on “Jesus Revealed: Encountering Christ in His Biblical Names” by Anna Summerlin-Gonzalez

We just finished a Bible study at my parish that was beyond amazing. Over the course of 18 weeks, we uncovered all the names by which Jesus is mentioned in the Bible. My dear friend Anna who joined the study for the first time this year wrote a beautiful summary from her heart. She read it on the last day, and she gave me permission to share it on my blog. I hope you all enjoy it, and that it will inspire you to read the Bible and learn more about Our Lord and Savior.

I leave this study with a renewed vigor, a lighter step, and a positive outlook in life. Knowing that God is my All and Savior, Keeper of my Faith, and Caretaker of my Sorrows has made my destination crystal clear.

The emptiness and desolation that overcomes us at different intervals in our lives, is the straying away from the true path that we should always follow which is God’s way. His illuminating steps guide us for He is the beginning before the beginning of time, Foreshadower of eternal life, and Keeper of all time. He is our lighthouse, signaling to us His beacon of light. He is our anchor. He is our tidal wave of total happiness and fulfillment.

We live for Him! Oh what a great joy to awaken in the early dawn and gaze in wonder at what was dark become light. The sheer joy of another daybreak is a new opportunity for doing good, for doing what we are all called to do. Deep within, we all have a calling to do good, but to stoke that inner fire, and in order for it to be set ablaze, enormous amounts of energy, both natural and soul searching, must take place.

To be an essential part of the True Vine, we must become a bud, and then a sapling, and ultimately, a true branch capable of handling the sheer weight of life and its burdens. We all require the assistance of the Good Shepherd in our daily lives to be led not astray but in a straight path. We are defended by the Lion of the Tribe of Judah in this jungle that we call earth.

In this jungle is the True Lamb of God who allowed Himself to be humiliated, ridiculed, abused, and ultimately crucified for us. He became the Firstborn of the Dead in order to give us eternal life with Him and in Him for He is Heaven itself. This King of kings was called by His Father to sacrifice His life, and to become part of us so that we may be allowed to enter God’s family and kingdom through the following of His Word, The Word.

Who shall I say that You are in my life? I am who I AM. That powerful statement was spoken by the Son of God and the Son of Man who became Savior of the world. He was the Precious Cornerstone of all time that became the Bridegroom between His Father, God, and we, the people. He is our sustenance and Bread of Life that nourishes our bodies and our souls. In our darkest moments of despair, there is the Dawn from On High prodding us to become more dependent on Him, and less in ourselves. He is our Pioneer and Perfector of the Faith, and ultimately, we recognize Him as the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, our First and Last thought of each and everyday.

Our Pilgrimage into the Holy Land-In a Nutshell

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

At the beginning of our pilgrimage, we were asked to imagine that Jesus was asking us the following question: "Who do you say that I am?" Before following in His footsteps through the Holy Land, my answer was that You, Jesus, are the Son of God. You are my friend, and my brother. You came to save me. You gave your life for me. You did the ultimate sacrifice.

Today, after having experienced a 10-day pilgrimage in the Holy Land, following Jesus, where He lived, where He walked, where He performed His first miracle, my answer is the same as it was at the beginning, but it's also so much more. You, Jesus, are the Messiah. You could have walked away from the crucifixion, but You chose to go through with it because You love me so much. And even though, during your human life, You lived in Israel and Egypt, today, You live everywhere. You are not confined to a particular place. You live in my heart, so I take You with me wherever I go. You are my best friend. And You want me to take your message to others. You want me to be Your hands and Your feet... like You told me in the Church of the Ascension when I was looking at the imprint of your foot on the rock. So who do I say that You are? You are my Everything.

This pilgrimage was life changing, but not only because of what I saw, but because of what I felt, and because of the messages that I received while I was there, and that I am still receiving as I meditate on the journey. Jesus' love for us is perfect. The love we feel for our children or our parents or our spouses is nothing in comparison to the love that He feels for us. And I was able to feel that love in every step I took through His Holy Land. Even when the food was not great, and we were tired of eating hummus every day, there was love in the persons that prepared it and in those that served us. Even when we were pushed aside and punched while we waited to visit the Holy Sepulchre, there was love as our group united through that experience. Even in the roughness of the people, there was love because they, just like us, wanted a glimpse of the tomb of our Lord. There is love in the faith of the Jewish community who return to Jerusalem every year to celebrate their Passover, just like Jesus did 2,000 years ago. There was love in the Spanish pilgrims that we encountered at the Church of the Dormition, as we united to sing and pray together. There was love at the Wailing Wall, when hundreds and hundreds of people from different backgrounds and different faiths, united in prayer to God.

I was very touched as well by all the Marian sites that we visited: the Church of the Annunciation, the Church of St. Anne, the Church of the Visitation, the Church of the Dormition, the Church of the Nativity, the Church at Cana, and the Church of St. Joseph. I have always had a special place in my heart for Mama Mary, especially since I became a mother myself almost thirty years ago, but after seeing how she lived and the sacrifices she made first hand, now I have great admiration for the Woman. She was all about love and service. She placed herself last. The needs of others always came before hers. And it did not matter if she had to go on a 3-day journey or a 10-day journey in top of a donkey, through hills and valleys. She just went. Her love for God surpassed any other love. She also knew what perfect love was all about. And perfect love required immense sacrifice, but she never asked questions and she never said "no." She is my hero and my role model to follow, and I know, that no matter how hard I try, I will always fall short because there has never lived another woman like her, and there will never be another one like her. She was full of grace, and she was immaculate. But she suffered greatly, and she never uttered a single complaint. I take my hat off to her, and I hope I can be just one tiny particle of the Woman and Mother that she is. And may we never forget that she shines, just like the moon, because she reflects the light of her Son. And she will always lead us to Him.

I cannot pick one favorite place or thing from the entire pilgrimage because every single place and every single thing that I experienced was special. Even the Dead Sea... which is probably my least favorite, had something unique, and there was something to learn from the experience... The whole package (the places we visited, the priests, the guides, our fellow pilgrims) was what made this experience so wonderful and amazing. Even if I were to come back in the future, it would never be the same.

Israel, the country, is very interesting. Its people, the ones that live there, are a mixture of cultures. Some are extremely friendly and happy, while others are rude and dry. The most popular animal is the cat.

Yes, even more popular than the camel.

There were cats everywhere, even in the places we stopped to eat. They were the kings, and would walk between our legs when we least expected it.

I did not feel unsafe at any point while in Israel. We walked through the streets of Jerusalem at night on our own, and through the streets of Tiberias, and people were having a good time just like in any other part of the world. Yes, bad things happen there, but they also happen in any part of the world. We saw high security, mostly in Jerusalem, but it did not scare us, on the contrary, it gave us peace of mind. There were areas that were well kept, while there were others that were dirty and abandoned. But overall, the country is beautiful, with a mixture of desert

and greenery.

The flowers are absolutely gorgeous and at this time of the year they were blooming everywhere.

And the food... well, let's just say I don't want to get anywhere near Mediterranean food for a very long time. And because it was Passover, I have never craved bread so much in my life, not even when I gave it up for Lent a few years ago. But all in all, we had good and plenty of food everywhere we ate.

Israel is definitely a country I would recommend to anyone to visit, not just for the religious experience but because of its culture and history. Of course, the religious aspect is the icing on the cake. And as the sign on the Church of St. Catherine said: "I am hoping that if you visit Israel as a tourist, you will exit as a pilgrim. And if you enter as a pilgrim, you will exit as a holier one."

I am thankful for the journey, and for the candle that is still burning bright in my heart from having lived through this pilgrimage. And I thank every person that shared this pilgrimage with me because each one added flavor to the experience. I entered the Holy Land as a pilgrim, and I definitely left as a much holier one.