Time in a Capsule

Is it me or does time just seems to fly faster and faster? The older I get, the faster it seems to fly. And yet, a year still has 365 days (or 1 more on leap years) and each day still has 24 hours. But when I was much younger, I remember that from Christmas to Christmas, it seemed to take forever, and now, every year, when it's time to take out the Christmas ornaments, I feel like I just finished putting them away. I read somewhere that when we are kids, we feel like we have our entire lives ahead of us so time just seems eternal. But as we get older, we begin to realize that our time left may be less than our time lived, and thus time just seems to fly away. And here we are, with half of 2016 already gone.

I began the year inspired to write about relationships. It has been a very difficult topic for me and thus, I've only written 14 meditations in six months, which would be fine except when I look back at 2015 and realize that last year, I wrote a total of 109 meditations. This year has been tough in more ways than one: I lost my dad, I had some family issues and some health issues. My level of anxiety peaked around March and it affected every aspect of my life, including my writing. Writing for me is usually therapeutic but this year, it became a burden more than a relief, so I've been putting it off.

I've been reflecting these past two weeks on whether to continue on the topic of relationships or change course altogether. But the more I think about it, the more I feel I need to keep on trotting without altering direction. Yes, it's difficult to write about relationships because they can be so complicated, but we are all in the same boat. Some of us are having issues with spouses, kids, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, co-workers... So it's good and necessary to vent. What has made it harder for me to write about this topic is that I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I have to be very careful how I express what I feel. But at the same time, I have to be honest. So I need to find the fine line between sugar coating the truth but not distorting it. And I have realized that is not an easy task.

But I'll continue on this path while praying that I can do it lovingly but truthfully. I have already talked about relationships with our parents, grandparents, siblings, extended families and spouses. I would like to dedicate the second half of this year to in-laws, children, grandchildren (which I don't have any so I will have to rely on those that are already enjoying this stage of their lives), friends, co-workers, enemies... And wherever else the spirit moves me.

I'm not going to put myself any pressure because whenever I do this I end up doing less than planned. All I can say is that I hope to write more meditations in the second half of this year than I did in the first. God help me. And maybe I can discover how to put time in a capsule so it lasts a little longer.