“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Psalm 23:1-3
After the incident in Jerusalem, life returned to normal, but for me, there was a before and after. That peaceful, careless life that I had lived was to be no more. After we returned to Nazareth, my neighbors were prompt to give me their opinion: “If it was my son, I would have punished him until the end of times. You are too soft with Him, Mary. You need to set boundaries.” I agreed with them to a certain degree, but at the same time, I knew that Jesus had not disobeyed us on purpose. I knew deep inside that a force, stronger than Him, had pushed Him to stay behind in the temple.
Jesus has now reached the age of thirteen, where legally, He is considered independent from His parents. Even though He still lives at home with us, He is required to get a job outside the house.
Joseph had been teaching Him his carpentry trade, and in the last year, He has been taking Him to Sepphoris with him to work on different buildings. But in addition to that, Jesus now has a job with Jacob, a shepherd from our town. Jacob is a widow, and he has two small children at home. He came to ask us if he could hire Jesus to help him with his sheep, that way he could spend more time at home with his children. We agreed that it would be a good job for Jesus, and He could learn a new trade just in case in the future there is not enough work in the carpentry industry.
Jesus loves His new job. He wakes up before the crack of dawn. I always prepare Him a bag made of dry skin for Him to take with bread, figs, almonds and raisins. I miss having Him around, running into the kitchen, checking the tannur to see if the bread is ready or just sitting down with me to tell me an anecdote about a friend or one of His cousins. It is hard for a mother to realize that her little bird is starting to fly on His own, and will soon leave the nest permanently. Every morning, a piece of my soul flies away with Him.
At night, He shares stories about the sheep: “Every time I open the door of the stable, the sheep come out running. I’m starting to know all their names and they are beginning to recognize my voice. Every day, I try to find a different pasture for them so they have enough to eat. While they graze the fields, all I have to do is sit on a rock and keep an eye on them. I always remember the psalm, Mother, that you taught me when I was a little boy: ‘The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever’ (1). I really enjoy being a shepherd, Mother.”
I could not contain myself and I gave Him a hug. Here He was, with his thirteen years, part Boy part Man, but for me, always my Boy. If I could, I would go ahead of Him to remove all the rocks in His path. But I know that it’s an impossible wish. I have to allow Him to grow on His own and remove His own rocks.
One day, He arrived almost breathless, with His face red and His hair wild. “What happened to You, Jesus?” I asked Him.
“The Whitebeard escaped,” He told me. “That rebellious sheep never wants to be with the rest of the herd. I turned my eyes away for one second, and she was gone.”
“And what did You do, Son?”
“First I called her: Whitebeard!!! But she ignored my calls, so I had to leave the rest of the herd and I had to go find her. I spent the entire afternoon looking for her. When the sun began to set, I was very worried. What should I do? I asked myself. Should I leave her and return to the rest of the herd? Or do I keep looking for her?”
“Did You find her?”
“Yes. First I heard her bleats and I followed the sound. I found her with a broken leg stuck in a bunch of thorns. I cleaned her as best as I could on the river, and I carried her back to the herd. But when I got back, the herd was gone, and then, I really panicked.”
“Oh no, what happened to them?”
“It turns out that Jacob became worried that I had not returned at my usual time so he went out looking for me. When he found the herd by themselves, and he couldn’t find me, he decided to return the herd to the stable. When I got back, he was very upset. He told me I was an idiot. ‘How can you leave ninety-nine sheep to go find one?’ he said to me.”
“And what did You answer him?”
“I told him that Whitebeard was the one that was lost. The other ninety-nine were safe, but Whitebeard was in danger. Why don’t you rejoice with me, Jacob? She was lost and has now been found.”
“Was he happy with your explanation?”
“Not at first, you know how hardheaded Jacob can be. But eventually, he apologized to me. He told me that ever since his wife died, he doesn’t sleep well and he looses his patience easily. I guess it’s not easy taking care of two small children on his own.”
I was in awe listening to my Son who was maturing so rapidly in front of my eyes.
At night, I told Joseph the whole story. “He got very lucky. If something had happened to the other sheep, He would have lost the job.”
“Yes, but He didn’t. On the contrary, I think He gained the respect of Jacob.” And since that day, Whitebeard became His favorite sheep.
That night, after I had gone to bed, I heard Jesus enter my room very quietly. I pretended to be asleep. He approached me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. It was the best kiss I have received in my entire life. My dark home was lit up as if the sun had suddenly bursted in the most amazing bright light. I felt as if I was in heaven. There was no sweeter joy than that kiss from my Son.
Reflection:
Have I ever felt like a lost sheep? Has anyone come to rescue me? Even when I feel lost, God does not abandon me. He always calls my name, even if I don’t hear Him. I need to return to the herd, to my community, where there is always a place for me.
Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.
References:
- Psalm 23:1-6
Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:
1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of
Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun
All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.
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