Letters to Heaven: Not My Will but Your Will

"Prayer is not sending God to get what you want, prayer is getting you ready to accept what God wants." Unknown Author

August 13, 2007

Dear Jesus:

I just returned from spending a very peaceful weekend in Naples with my hubby. No kids, just us. It was a mini-honeymoon.

I didn't spend too much time meditating. I did pray. I prayed in the car on our way to Naples and on our way back. I prayed for the kids so they would be safe since they stayed home by themselves. We went to mass yesterday, to St. Anne Catholic Church. But honestly, the rest of the time I spent it resting my body and my mind.

And yet, I began this letter with a quote which I received recently by email from an Emmaus sister. This quote made me think. I tend to pray to You with "requests." God help me... God protect the kids... God I need... I'm always asking You to give me what I think I need, but that's not what prayer should be. Prayer should be "God, not my will but your will." After all, You know what I need better than I do. I need to pray so I'm ready to accept your plan.

Jesus, prepare me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 13, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Little did I know when I prayed to You ten years ago to prepare me that I was going to go through the most turbulent decade of my life. My kids' college years have been rough on us. I just sent our last payment to UConn a few days ago, and I cannot begin to tell You what a huge relief that was. And I am not talking just financially, which it will be a huge respite for our pockets. I am talking emotionally. Ever since we began the college years in 2007, I feel like we have been riding a never-ending rollercoaster. And even though I'm supposed to be praying, "Not my will, Lord, but your will," I beg You to please protect Alex in his last semester. Allow us to finish our college years in peace because it's been one storm after another since we began ten years ago.

Thank You for carrying us through the worst part of the storms. And thank You for allowing us to grow and become better persons because of the storms.

May your will be done in our lives, Lord.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: The Key Ingredient

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."—Colossians 4:2

August 11, 2006

Dear Jesus:

Summer is almost over and I'm happy to say it's gone pretty well. It's been a relaxing summer. I have been able to deal with my to-do list one item at a time and I have been able to cross out a lot of items. There were a few instances when I felt very overwhelmed and anxious, but all in all, I've done pretty good. I still have a lot of things on my to-do list but I'm not stressing over them. I will handle one item at a time.

I started a prayer group and even though not a lot of people have come, it gave me a sense of peace and tranquility. I don't think I will continue to host it after the summer because it's a lot of work to get the house ready every week for just one person to show up. I will continue to do my daily reflections and prayers on my own.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 11, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I have come a long way. I used to get so anxious when I had a lot to do. I felt I couldn't handle it all. Even though I still feel anxious when I have to meet deadlines at work, I have learned to compartmentalize my life. I also don't write as many "to-do" lists as I used to. I realized that having so much on my list was part of the reason for my anxiety. Now, I just try to tackle three things per day, and that's all. If I make it through those three things, it's a good day. If I do more, it's a really good day. If I can't finish, there's always tomorrow.

My prayer group that summer of 2006 failed because I was putting more effort into being a Martha and not enough time into being a Mary. I was stressed out because I wanted to make sure the house was perfect for the prayer group and that took hours of preparation. I failed to concentrate on the key ingredient.

Now, I have a prayer group and it takes me 30 minutes tops to prepare. All I offer is coffee, juice and fruits. And like your miracle of the multiplication of the breads, we always have more food than we can eat. Someone always brings something to share. But the key ingredient is the prayer time. We pray the rosary, we read a book and we discuss it. Right now, we are reading "Understanding the Faith" by Father Michael Garcia. He's a young 28 year-old priest at St. Louis. The book is amazing. He has managed to summarize the entire Bible in 104 pages, and he has done a wonderful job of explaining all the key points. It's almost like a "Cliff Notes" version of the Bible. Every week, 12 to 20 ladies show up. And we have all the generations covered, from grandmothers to some sweet teenage girls that are madly in love with You. It's a great mix because we get the young views and the mature perspective. Our discussions are lively and You are always at the center. Thank You, Jesus, for putting this prayer group together because this was definitely your doing. And this time, I'm not leaving out the key ingredient. You are the central focus of our prayer group.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: I love Your Sense of Humor

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." — St. Thomas Aquinas

July 17, 2010

Dear Jesus:

I need to apologize because for two weeks we have not gone to mass. You always have time for us, yet we only have time for You when we need You or when we don't have something better to do. The first Sunday, July 4th, we didn't go because we were at the beach and we had company all day long. Yet that's no excuse. We could have gone on Saturday. The second Sunday we did not go because we put other things ahead of You. The beach was too good to pass in the morning and in the afternoon, Spain was playing soccer for the World Cup. Shame on us. We had Rafi here for two Sundays and instead of taking him to mass with us, which is really the only time he goes to mass, we showed him that going to mass is not a priority.

I'm sorry Jesus. I feel bad that I have not spent enough time with You. I do love You and I need You in my life. I am very blessed that You are always a part of my life. I am grateful for all the blessings that You shower upon me every day.

I also love your sense of humor. The things that You do to catch my attention are simply amazing. Yesterday was a perfect example. I was in a hurry because I needed to get to the office as soon as possible. I guess You wanted me to slow down, so what did You do? You locked me out of my car... very funny. My car is not supposed to lock when the keys are inside, yet it did. But You also provided the help. The firemen were conveniently nearby. And in the midst of it all, You opened up the skies and sent me a heavy downpour so that I realized what is truly important. I had just done my hair at the beauty salon. Definitely, my hair is not that important. Once I realized that, You showed me how merciful You truly are. Somehow, You managed to soak me completely from neck to toes, yet my hair remained completely dry. Wow. You never cease to amaze me. You truly are an awesome God.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 9, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Last week, I was on my way home from Home Depot. I was in a hurry because I had a lot to do at home and just a few hours to do it all. As I drove by St. Louis, I felt like You were asking me to go to the Blessed Sacrament. I fought You because I had already had my prayer group in the morning, but I have learned to obey your voice. I took a detour and headed to St. Louis, while telling You, "just ten minutes, Jesus, that's all I have."

I entered the Blessed Sacrament, I knelt in front of You, and we had a good ten minute conversation. Just as I was ready to leave, I heard the rain start pounding on the roof. "This is not funny, Jesus," I thought. "Now, how am I going to get out of here?" I had an umbrella, but it sounded like it was raining pretty heavy. I decided to give You five more minutes. I sat patiently in the chair, while praying to You to please stop the rain.

After five minutes, I left. It was pouring outside and windy too. "What do You want, Jesus? You know I need to get home." I waited a few minutes to see if the rain subsided. I checked my weather App and when I saw that it was going to be raining for at least another 35 minutes, I decided to leave. And just then, here comes Father Kish. I had not seen him in a while. Since he retired five years ago, he only helps at St. Louis occasionally. I asked him if he was leaving, and he said "yes." He didn't have an umbrella so I offered to walk him to his car. He said not to worry, that he had a jacket. But it was raining so hard and he was carrying all these papers, I knew he would get soaked. I told him, "I'm leaving now and it's no trouble at all." As a matter of fact, I was parked right next to him. I walked him to his car, I asked him how he was doing and where he was living now, he thanked me and we both went our separate ways. Now I know why You needed me to go to St. Louis. And I'm so glad that I obeyed You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Finding You in any Corner of the World

"We are the holy Church. But I do not say ‘we’ as though to indicate only we who are here, you who have just been listening to me. I mean all of us who are here and by the grace of God faithful Christians in this church, that is, in this city; all those in this region, in this province, across the sea, all those in the whole world. Such is the Catholic Church, our true mother, the true spouse of so great a husband." — St. Augustine

August 7, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Today, I write to You from San Francisco. We arrived two days ago. This first week it's just Rafe, Alex and me. Chabeli is in Los Angeles in a conference. She is representing UM. On Wednesday, she will fly to Seattle and will spend a couple of days with Rafi before we join them on Friday.

Since today is Sunday, we went to mass at "Notre Dame des Victoires," a cute little church in the French Quarter. The priest came over to welcome us. I guess it's such a small community that we stood out like a sore thumb. He asked us where we were from and how we had heard about the church. He then asked us if we wanted to take the offertory to the altar. Of course, we said yes.

I enjoyed his homily. Today's gospel reading was about when You walked on water. The priest gave us some background information about St. Matthew, the gospel writer not the apostle. This gospel was written about 50 years after your death. Your church was experiencing persecution from the Romans and the people were questioning whether it was worth it to remain being a Christian. The priest said that the boat represents your church and how the storm is shaking it from side to side. Yet, You came and You calmed the storm. Peter, as long as he trusted You, was able to walk on water. When he doubted, he began to drown. It's the same with us. As long as we place our trust in You, we can weather the storm and make your kingdom a better place.

It was good to attend mass the three of us together. I'm happy to belong to the Catholic Church where I know that I can find a community in any corner of the world.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 14, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Today, I write to You from Seattle. I thought we wouldn't be able to go to mass because the morning became complicated. Chabeli, Alex and I ended up going by ourselves, while Rafael and Rafi took care of all the pending issues related to his moving out of the apartment he was renting while doing a summer internship at Microsoft.

After eating at the hotel's breakfast buffet, Rafe dropped us off at St. Louise Catholic Church. We were a few minutes late but as soon as we walked in, I knew something was wrong. The church was almost empty, and there was no priest. It turned out that the mass was at 11. The phone App gave me the wrong time of 10:30. This gave us some silent time for personal prayer before the mass began.

As we sat there, one of the ushers approached us and asked us if we wanted to take the offertory. Two Sunday's in a row. We have never been asked at our own parish, but here, we must have a sign in our forehead that either says that we are visitors or holy holy. It is an honor to take the gifts to your altar, Jesus.

Rafe and Rafi picked us up right after mass. They had been able to resolve all the pending issues. The only thing left was a bag filled with Rafi's clothing that he wanted to donate. We were not sure what we would do with them but I figured that You would lead us to the right person or organization that needed it. We headed towards the stadium because the boys had tickets to watch a baseball game. There was no place to park so we drove around and we ran straight into a Salvation Army warehouse. Was this heavenly intervention or what? You never cease to amaze me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 7, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I always love to go to mass when we are on vacation. It's great to see that we are all one body and even though we do not know each other, we are all connected by our Catholic faith. I especially love to attend mass when we are in a different country. Even if I don't understand the language, I can follow the mass.

One of my favorite memories happened in Hawaii. We went to mass and everyone knew we were visitors. After mass, everyone came to talk to us and welcome us to their parish. We felt right at home. We were being welcomed by our Christian family. They were so happy to see us, as if they knew us and had not seen us in a very long time. It gave us a very good feeling. It was like experiencing your Kingdom right here on earth.

I imagine that when someone arrives in heaven they receive the same welcome. All the people in heaven rejoice at each new arrival. And they are greeted and embraced because they are part of the heavenly family and they are finally home.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for This Beautiful World

"All the things in this world are gifts of God, created for us, to be the means by which we can come to know him better, love him more surely, and serve him more faithfully."— St. Ignatius of Loyola

July 8, 2010

Dear Jesus:

I feel rested and relaxed. How different from the last time I wrote to You when we were getting ready to tent the house for termites. Today, I'm writing from the beach apartment we rented for two weeks in Hallandale Beach. The view from where I'm sitting right now is magnificent. You have provided for us a beautiful world. Thank You. Humans, with their intelligence, have also created great things, even though there is no comparison. But I'm looking at the inter-coastal with all the buildings and houses and it's truly spectacular.

I enjoyed the past five days with the whole family. Rafe took a couple of days from work, which he combined with the long weekend. He was able to rest which is something that he truly needed. I worry about him because he works too hard.

Chabeli and Alex went to work the last two days but the rest of the time they were here. And Rafi arrived last Friday night and he has been here with us. It's been good having all three kids around. We had family and friends over for the Fourth of July. We enjoyed the beach during the day and watched the fireworks at night. Maricela brought an ice cream cake so we also celebrated my birthday.

Today, I'm by myself with Penny. Rafi stayed at the house last night with Chabeli and his friend Paul. Rafe and Alex left to work. I will enjoy the solitude.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 5, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for another relaxing and peaceful summer. Let's keep it this way, please.

Thank You for all your blessings. Thank You for this beautiful world that we get to enjoy every day.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Creating Perfect Babies

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you" Jeremiah 1:5

May 21, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I read something today in the book I've been reading about Rafi's illness. It talked about genetic studies they are doing to try to identify the gene that causes this illness. They may even be able to identify it in fetuses before they are even born. The positive is that treatment can start much earlier. The negative is that parents may choose abortion if they find out that their babies may suffer from this illness.

It made me think: what if I had known that Rafi was going to suffer from this illness when I was pregnant with him? Of course, I would have had him. No doubt in my mind about that. In all three of my pregnancies, I voluntarily chose not to go through with the testing that would determine if the babies would be born with a problem. I would have never chosen abortion over life just because one of my babies would be less than perfect. Therefore, the only difference in finding out twenty years ago and finding out now, is that I would have learned everything about this illness sooner, and I would have attempted to find the best treatment earlier.

I thank You Jesus for Rafi, for his life, for his love, for his kindness, for his mind, for his brain, for everything that makes him who he is. I place him in your hands once more, Jesus. Please enlighten him and us, to make the best choices for his future. Holy Spirit, please fill him with your fire and guide him towards making the right decisions. Please help him to make the right selections to finish his education and help us to guide him towards the right path.

Rafi is your sacred creation. I love him and care for him deeply. Please give me the energy and strength to stand by him in the good and in the bad. And allow me to step back when he needs to walk alone.

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 4, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Yesterday, it was all over the news and in the front page of many newspapers that "scientists for the first time have successfully edited genes in human embryos to repair a common and serious disease-causing mutation, producing apparently healthy embryos." (1)

"The new experiment used a powerful new gene-editing technique to correct a genetic defect behind a heart disorder that can cause seemingly healthy young people to suddenly die from heart failure." (2)

As You well know, my hubby has this genetic defect, known as hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM), in his heart. It was discovered when he was in his 30s, and since it's hereditary, our children have all had echocardiograms to rule it out. They need to continue checking themselves because unfortunately, the fact that they don't have it today doesn't mean that they can't develop it in the future.

When I heard the news, I was happy because this means that if our future grandchildren have this gene, it can be repaired before they are even born. But it also worried me because this is just the beginning. If human genes can be edited, how far will we go? "Some might try to design babies with certain traits, like greater intelligence or athleticism." (1)

Just like many parents nowadays choose abortion when they find out that the baby they are expecting suffers from an incurable illness, like Down Syndrome, this may cause the total opposite, where people with means will try to create the perfect babies with enhanced traits. It may even create a great abyss between people with disabilities and "perfect" people. Will people with disabilities get rejected from society because they are less than perfect?

Oh Jesus, when God gave us intelligence and free will, did He know what He was getting into? I guess when we use it for good, all is well. But many humans sure love to play God and I'm very concerned about the ethical consequences that all this human genetic engineering may have in the future. Yes, we all want perfect babies, but how far will we go to create that "perfect" baby? God help us!!!

I love You, Jesus!!!

Sources:

(1) New York Times 8-2-17 "In Breakthrough, Scientists Edit a Dangerous Mutation From Genes in Human Embryos"

(2) NPR 8-2-17 "Scientists Precisely Edit DNA In Human Embryos To Fix A Disease Gene"

Letters to Heaven: Purified Silver

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the descendants of Levi and refine them like gold and silver." Malachi 3:3

August 3, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today, I'm in a really bad mood. I don't know why. It's not like I can pinpoint it to a specific event. I'm just upset. I wish I could control my emotions the same way that I can control the lights. If I'm sad, I can push a switch and be happy. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

Yes, it's all about the attitude. If I have a positive attitude, I can control my emotions and I can avoid being upset. I am not a robot, though. I'm only human. Once in a while, I have the right to be mad, plain and simply mad. It's hard to have it together all the time.

When the kids were little, I used to have to do a lot of running around. I was looking forward to sitting back and relaxing more once they got older. But instead, it's gotten worst. Today, I had to run a lot of errands, and at the end of the day, I had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. The day was hot and muggy. I guess, all of this contributed to my pissy mood.

Sorry for "la descarga," Jesus. There's no one else I can turn to. I'm the one that needs to have it all under control, remember?

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 3, 2017

Dear Jesus:

There is an e-mail that I have received many times that talks about silver. In order for silver to attain its purity, it needs to be placed in the fire. The more it burns, the more it shines. The silversmith has to be very patient. It takes a long time, a lot of heat to achieve complete purity. The silversmith knows it's ready when he can see his own reflection in the silver.

That summer of 2009, You kept us in the fire for a very long time. It took a long time to purify us. There were days when I was very angry at You, and other times when I was upset at no one in particular. I just didn't know how much longer we could withstand the flames. I screamed, I whined, and I complained. But You were very patient with me.

It was so painful to see Rafi suffering. I realize now that You were purifying him too. He is your precious silver. As You burned him with your fire, You provided the strength for him to withstand the pain and the heat. And eventually, he came out shining bright. Today, I can clearly see your reflection on him.

Thank You, Jesus, for helping me with the pain. You went through much more pain than us as You carried your cross and when You were crucified. You handled it with a lot of dignity and You taught me how to handle my pain with dignity, even though it took me a long time to learn. Thank You for not giving up on me.

I love You, Jesus!!!