Se Nos Marchó Demasiado Pronto

 "Yo soy la resurrección y la vida. El que cree en mí, aunque esté muerto, vivirá. Y todo aquel que vive y cree en mí, no morirá jamás”. Juan 11:25-26

El 6 de enero perdimos a nuestro sobrino y ahijado. Me ha tomado todo este tiempo encontrar la fuerza en medio del dolor para escribir sobre ello. Pero siento que necesito hacerlo para honrar su memoria.

Conocí a Norlys cuando tenía cuatro añitos. Llegó de Cuba en 1984, junto con su hermano de seis años y sus padres. Era divertido, travieso, dulce y cariñoso. Tenía debilidad por su tío, y yo tenía debilidad por él. Rafe y yo nos sentimos honrados cuando sus padres nos pidieron que fuéramos sus padrinos.

Como jóvenes recién casados ​​y sin hijos, nos encantaba llevar a Yordys y Norlys de paseo. Tenemos recuerdos de llevarlos al Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, parques, la playa y otros lugares divertidos. 

En 1986, adoptamos a un perrito, Brandy.  Norlys adoraba a ese perro.

Norlys encontró su pasión en las artes marciales durante su adolescencia, llegando a conseguir la cinta negra en Karate. Incluso enseñó durante algún tiempo. También era muy inteligente y dedicado a sus estudios. Obtuvo una licenciatura de FIU en Administración de Empresas. Luego consiguió un gran trabajo con la compañía de seguros, State Farm.

Este fin de semana pasado, mis hijos vinieron a estar con la familia y celebrar la vida de su primo. Estaban recordando cómo, a pesar de que él era una década o más mayor que ellos, siempre hacía tiempo para jugar con ellos. A mi hijo menor, Alex, que tiene 15 años menos que Norlys, le encantaba quedarse a dormir en su casa pues le gustaba jugar videos con sus primos mayores.

Mientras Norlys aún trabajaba en State Farm, comenzamos a notar algunos comportamientos extraños. Esto hizo que perdiera su trabajo. Finalmente, a la edad de 29 años, le diagnosticaron con una enfermedad mental conocida como trastorno bipolar.

Mientras navegábamos por el mundo de las enfermedades mentales, aprendimos cuán roto está el sistema. En lugar de ayudar a las personas que padecen esta horrible enfermedad, se crean barreras que a veces son insuperables. Los seguros médicos no pagan lo suficiente, por lo que causan a que la mayoría de los mejores psiquiatras no acepten seguro médico. Esto obviamente no ayuda a la mayoría de las personas que no pueden pagar los honorarios para poder recibir el tratamiento adecuado. Si un paciente adulto no da su consentimiento para que otra persona tome decisiones por él, ni siquiera los padres pueden ayudar. Aunque lo más probable es que el paciente no esté en el estado mental adecuado para tomar decisiones por sí mismo, el sistema impide por completo que cualquier otra persona le ayude.

Los últimos catorce años fueron como una montaña rusa para Norlys. Nunca aceptó por completo de que lo que él tenía era una enfermedad. Iba de médico en médico, a veces recibiendo el tratamiento adecuado y otras veces no.

El 6 de enero salió de su casa temprano en la mañana. Para el mediodía, su madre estaba muy preocupada porque no podía localizarlo, y era extraño que dejara solo a su cachorro de siete meses durante tanto tiempo. A las 3:30 pm, la policía se presentó en su casa para confirmar sus peores temores. Norlys se nos había ido para siempre. 

Hemos pasado los últimos diez días preguntándonos si había algo más que pudiéramos haber hecho. Y volvemos con la misma respuesta cada vez. El ya era un adulto y no podíamos obligarlo a obtener la ayuda que necesitaba. Tratar de convencerlo cuando en su mente estaba mejorando era imposible. Lo único que nos quedan ahora son los recuerdos y la convicción de que está en un lugar mejor donde ya no sufre más.

Su hermano mayor nos pidió que “recordáramos a Norlys por quién era, no por cómo actuaba debido a su salud mental”. Y eso es lo que haremos. Siempre recordaremos al dulce niño que robó nuestros corazones, al adolescente que se tomó el tiempo para jugar con sus primos más jóvenes, al joven adulto que amaba las artes marciales y al adulto que se esforzó tanto por hacer del mundo un lugar mejor dedicando su tiempo a llevarle comida y biblias a los pobres sin hogar en las calles de Miami. 

Descansa en paz querido Norlys. Te marchaste de nuestro lado demasiado pronto, pero nunca te olvidaremos y esperamos con la ayuda De Dios que nos volveremos a ver.

¡¡¡Te amaremos siempre!!!

Gone Too Soon

 “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

On January 6th, we lost our nephew and godson. It’s taken me all this time to find the strength amidst the pain to write about it. But I feel I need to do this in order to honor his memory. 

I met Norlys when he was four years old. He arrived from Cuba in 1984, together with his six year old brother and his parents. He was funny, mischievous, sweet and loving. He had a soft spot for his uncle, and I had a soft spot for him. Rafe and I were honored when his parents asked us to be his godparents. 

As young newlyweds without kids, we loved taking Yordys and Norlys places. We have memories of taking them to the Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, parks, the beach and other fun places. 

We got our first dog, Brandy, in 1986, and I remember how much Norlys loved that dog. 

As a teenager and young adult, Norlys found his passion in martial arts. He pursued it all the way until he got his black belt. He even taught for a while. He was also very smart and dedicated to his studies. He obtained a Bachelor’s degree from FIU in Business Administration. He then landed a great job with State Farm. 

This past weekend, my kids came over to be with the family and celebrate their cousin’s life. They were reminiscing how even though he was a decade or more older than they were, he always made time to play with them. My youngest, Alex, who is 15 years younger than Norlys, loved to sleep over because he enjoyed playing video games with his older cousins.

While Norlys was still working at State Farm, we began to notice some strange behaviors. This caused him to lose his job. Eventually, at the age of 29, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

While navigating the world of mental illness, we learned how broken the system is. Instead of helping people who suffer from this horrible illness, it creates barriers that are sometimes impossible to overcome. Most of the best psychiatrists don’t accept insurance because the insurance companies don’t pay them enough. This obviously doesn’t help the majority of the people that cannot afford to pay the fees that could provide them with the best possible treatment. If an adult patient doesn’t consent for another person to make decisions for them, not even the parents can help. Even though the patient may not be in the right state of mind to make decisions for themselves, the system completely blocks anyone else from helping them out.

The last fourteen years were a rollercoaster ride for Norlys. He struggled with the fact that what he had was an illness. He bounced from doctor to doctor, sometimes getting the right treatment and other times being short changed. 

On January 6th, he left his home early in the morning. By noon, his mom was very worried because she could not get a hold of him, and it was strange that he would leave his seven month Alaskan puppy by himself for so long. At 3:30 pm, the police showed up to confirm her worst fears. Norlys was gone. 

We have spent the last ten days asking ourselves if there was anything else we could have done. And we come back with the same answer every time. He was an adult and we couldn’t force him to get the help he needed. Trying to convince him when in his mind he was getting better was impossible. All we have left now are the memories and the conviction that he is in a better place where he is not suffering any longer. 

His older brother asked us to “remember Norlys for who he was, not how he acted because of his mental health.” And that’s what we will do. We will always remember the sweet boy that stole our hearts, the teenager that took the time to play with his younger cousins, the young adult that loved martial arts, and the adult that tried so hard to make the world a better place by spending his days taking food and bibles to the homeless. 

Rest in peace dear Norlys. You were taken from us much too soon, but we will never forget you. 

We love you forever!!!

We are God’s Instruments

“In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord.” Pope Benedict XVI, God Is Love: Deus Caritas Est

Surrendering my life to God, to a certain degree, frees me from worrying about tomorrow. In the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer Him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as He grants us the strength.” We are His instruments, and if we surrender ourselves to Him, He will lead the way. 

There are many times when I feel discouraged because things are not working out the way that I thought they would. Last year, I sent out my finished manuscript to three different publishers. Every time I received a rejection, I felt discouraged. After the last rejection, I lost the courage to submit it to a fourth publisher. Even though hope was my theme for 2022, I felt hopeless.

Last month, out of the blue, I received a phone call from a friend of a friend who wanted to know how to go about publishing her own book. I told her that I was probably the least likely person to offer her advice since my book had not been published. But we talked for a while and she said something that made me reflect. Why do I want to publish my book? The main reason is that I want to share God’s message with as many people as possible. I did not write the book to make money or to become famous. On the contrary, popularity scares me, and my plan was always to donate the book royalties if there were any. 

I ended up sharing with her all the research that I had done regarding Catholic publishers. Each has its own set of rules and  requirements. But once we hung up, I felt like I had received more help than I had given her. She gave me the courage to try with one more publisher. Tan Books now has my manuscript. But if it doesn’t work out, I will attempt to self-publish it. I learned from her that self-publishing an e-book is actually free. If anyone buys it, I receive a small royalty. 

Now, I just have to wait for Tan Books to get back to me, but even if I receive another rejection, I will not be discouraged. While I wait, I will start researching how to go about self-publishing. I will be ready with Plan B. And I don’t need to worry because I am just God’s instrument, and He will lead the way. I’m surrendering and entrusting my book to Him. 

Thank You Lord, for placing this unexpected angel on my path. It has freed me from feeling discouraged, and worrying about tomorrow. As St. Ignatius said it so well: “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.”

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

2023: Surrender and Trust

 “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” Matthew 6:34

Hope was the theme for my 2022 blog posts. As we ended the year, I was praying and meditating about which theme to choose for 2023. I have been debating between two words: surrender and trust. One day, I think that my theme should be trust. Trust that everything will happen according to God’s plan. Trust God in all things. Place my trust in God because He has my best interest at heart. Then, I change my mind, and I think that I should go with surrender. Surrender because I am not in control, God is. Surrender all my life to God. Surrender because God knows best. 

Today, it finally hit me. Why do I have to choose just one word? After all, trust and surrender go hand in hand. If I trust God, I should surrender everything to Him. Every time I plan something, He laughs and changes all my plans anyway. Why then should I waste my time planning my life minute by minute? Might as well let go and let God. He knows much better than me what I need. 

Therefore, It’s been decided. Surrender and trust will be my theme for this year. My writings will revolve around those two words. 

I hope you have a year filled with trust in the Lord, and that you trust Him enough to surrender all to Him. 

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Christmas, the Season of Hope

 “What is Christmas? It is the tenderness of the past, courage for the present, and hope for the future.” Agnes M. Pahro

Can you believe that Christmas is less than one week away? Where has this year gone? The older I get, the faster the year passes by. I remember as a kid, from my birthday in July until Christmas in December, it seemed like an eternity. Now, I blink, and the year is gone. 

I determined at the start of this year that 2022 was going to be the year of hope, and what a year it has been. My daughter got engaged in March. I traveled to New York to see my grandson, son and daughter-in-law a total of six times (and God willing I will return one more time before the year is over). I traveled to Charlotte to see my other kids three times. I visited a city (Chicago), and two countries (Argentina and Brazil) for the very first time. We were able to gather our whole family to celebrate Thanksgiving at Lake Norman. I reached the sixth floor of my life in July, surrounded by family and friends. I have so much to be grateful for this year. And even though, some days were less than perfect, I held onto Hope, and with God’s help, I got through those days. 

I know a lot of people that are experiencing very difficult times. It has not been a golden year for many. But Christmas is the season of Hope, and that is what I would like to write about as we traverse through this last week of Advent. 

The Holy Family did not have an easy time before, during or after the birth of Jesus. Joseph was looking forward to marrying Mary, and he found out that she was pregnant. Imagine the turmoil of emotions that he must have experienced when he thought that she had been unfaithful. Talk about dashing all his hopes for a happy future. But then, an angel showed up to tell him that Mary was pregnant by the Holy Spirit, and his hope was restored. 

In the meantime, Mary was having worries of her own. Since the angel appeared to her to tell her that God had chosen her to be the Mother of our Savior, she must have been plagued with questions and anxiety. Add to that the fear of telling Joseph, and the worry that he would not believe her. But what was the first thing that Mary did? She pushed her fears aside, and ran to her cousin Elizabeth to assist her during her pregnancy and delivery. 

Once everything was settled between Joseph and Mary, and they were getting ready for the birth of Jesus, they had to pack up, and travel to Bethlehem. I remember how excited I was on the weeks leading to my firstborn’s birth. I had his crib ready, his clothes, and all the items that a baby needs. It was the same with Mary. She had everything ready, but she had to leave it all behind. She had to take just the essentials because they were traveling by donkey. But she placed her trust in the Lord, and went with Joseph to Bethlehem. 

And then came the birth. Not on a comfortable bed with white clean sheets. She had to give birth inside a stable, surrounded by animals, and very unsanitary conditions. But she placed her Hope in the Lord. She was obedient to God, and brought her Son into the world with hope in her heart. 

Things did not get any easier after the birth. Instead of being able to return to their home in Nazareth, they had to pack once again, and move to Egypt. This was a completely different country, with different traditions and religion. But they continued to trust and hope in the Lord. They settled in this foreign land because that’s what God asked them to do. 

We can learn so much from the Holy Family. No matter what hardship we may be going through: loss of a loved one, illness, financial troubles, legal issues, divorce, family problems… we can look at the Holy Family and learn to trust God no matter what. They also teach us to obey God without fear because in the midst of our misery, He is in control of our situation. And they definitely teach us to hope. Christmas is the season of hope. Things will get better, just like they did for Joseph, Mary and Jesus. Keep your eyes on God, and let your hope be restored. 

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Gratitude brings Hope

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

It’s been a while since my last post. October was a busy month, wrapping up tax season during the first half, and traveling to Argentina during the second half. On Sunday, I took an early morning walk at the beach, and realized that the first half of November is gone. Time is flying, and in the blink of an eye, this year is almost over.

My theme for this year has been hope, and to be totally honest, it has not been easy for me to keep myself hopeful all of the time. As I was walking at the beach, I decided that instead of my usual morning rosary, I was going to concentrate on gratitude. I would not ask God for a single thing, I would just list all the things that I was grateful for. In the two or so miles that I walked, I came up with 36 prayers of gratitude, and I realized how blessed I am. I am thankful for each of these persons or things, in no particular order. This is just how they happened to pop into my mind:

1. Benedict: I am so grateful for this little boy that has come to rock our world. He has made all our lives infinitely better in this past year. His smile is worth more than a million bucks. I have been in New York all week babysitting him, and I have enjoyed every second. I love him more than he will ever know, and I am on my knees in gratitude for the gift of Benedict.
2. Rafi: Thirty-five years ago, I was undergoing infertility treatments. When I decided to stop and adopt, I became pregnant with a little boy. I am so thankful for the journey that I am experiencing daily with my oldest son. There has never been a dull moment in my life since the day he was born, and I would not change a single moment.
3. Emily: I prayed for a good wife for my oldest, and God surpassed all my wishes. Emily is a loving wife, an outstanding mother, a wonderful bonus daughter, hard worker, organized, and she keeps Rafi on his toes. Thank you God for sending her to him. She has been Rafi’s rock and his foundation. And together, they brought us Benedict, our greatest joy.
4. Chabeli: After trying so hard to become pregnant with Rafi, I was beyond grateful to find out that I had become pregnant again when Rafi was just three months. My girl came to balance our family. She is my best friend. We talk every day. We can tell each other anything, and I am forever thankful for having her in my life.
5. Daniel: When my daughter introduced me to the guy who worked at a bar, I told her: “Date him, but don’t fall in love.” She didn’t listen, but once I got to know Daniel, I knew that he Is exactly the partner that my daughter needs. He is passionate about everything he does, and he loves my daughter and makes her happy. What more can I ask for?
6. Alex: Even though I always wanted four kids, I thought we were done with a boy and a girl. But God had other plans, and He sent me Alex, my Christmas baby. I was blessed to become unemployed so I got to cherish every minute with him. Thank You Lord for sending us our baby #3 who came to lighten up our lives.
7. Keely: When I met Keely, I knew right away she was the one for my Alex. They began with a long distance relationship, she then moved to Miami three months before the pandemic which I know was not easy for her, but their relationship was strengthened through it all. Now they live in Charlotte, and we couldn’t be more thankful for our Keely.
8. My hubby: We met 42 years ago, married 4 years later, have experienced hard times and good times, illness and health, sorrow and joy, anger and happiness… there were many times when one of us was ready to call it quits, but I am so thankful that we never gave up. I will be forever grateful for my hubby, my partner in all things good and bad. I love him more than life.
9. My mom: She had me when she was just 20 years old. She left Cuba at the young age of 27, not knowing if she would ever see her parents again. But she did it to give me a better life where I could grow, worship and become a woman in a free country. She made so many sacrifices, and I am forever grateful that God chose her to be my mom.
10. My dad and brothers: I was 7-years-old when I left Cuba, my dad, and my brothers who were 21 and 4 months-old at the time. Twenty-five years would pass before I saw them again. I am so grateful that God gave me the opportunity to have them in my life again. Not only do I have them, but also their spouses and four nieces and nephews that all live in Miami.
11. My hubby’s very large family: His three sisters, Cuqui, Maricela and Monica, who have become my sisters. All his aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews. I always wanted to have a large family. I was blessed to get a really large one when I married into the Romero-Valdez Prieto family. I am grateful and thankful for each one of its members who welcomed me with open arms into their tribe. 
12. Teen Action and the Trujillo family: I was a teenager when I joined the St. Dominic Youth Group led by Mr. Jesus Trujillo RIP. It marked my life in ways that I’m just starting to realize. The foundation of my faith began in Spain, but this youth group solidified it. The Trujillo Family was a model to follow as I got married and began my own family. I am thankful for all they taught me.
13. Encuentros Juveniles: These retreats helped me to stay out of trouble during my teenage years. They provided friendships that to this day are still a part of my life. I got to know Jesus as a friend and a brother. And I met my hubby because he was part of this movement. I am grateful for the deep seeds that it planted in my life.
14. Camino del Matrimonio: During the first year of our marriage, we got involved with this group that prepares young couples for the sacrament of matrimony. We, however, received more help than we gave out. We learned a lot from couples that had been walking the marriage journey for longer than us, and it gave us the foundation we needed for a strong marriage.
15. My Belen Emmaus sisters: It’s been almost twenty years, and even though we are no longer doing the retreats at Belen, the community that began back then is still strong. We have a prayer support group where we pray for each other’s intentions. We get together, not as much as we would like to, but enough to keep in touch. I am grateful every day for my sistas in Christ.
16. The St. Louis bible group: I joined in 2009 when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. They lifted me up and brought me the support that I needed at that low point in my journey. I’m still a part of it, and I have learned so much from the gospels. It gave me another community, and brought me so much closer to God.
17. Tere and Dulce, my sisters from a different mother: We moved to Spain one year apart, and we became a family. We went to the same school, spent all our days, weekends, vacations and holidays together. When I left Spain, and they stayed, I thought my heart would break. But in spite of the ocean that separates us, we are still soul sisters.
18. Mamima: God placed her in my path to take care of my kids so I could go to work in peace, knowing that they were well taken care of. She became another grandmother to them. She loved them the way only a grandma can love. She took great care of them, fed them, bathe them, and taught them. They adored her and so did I. She was a blessing, and still is.
19. Sagrado Corazon and Trinity Christian School: My first choice of pre-schools for Rafi and Chabeli was a disaster. Sagrado Corazon closed just two months after they were enrolled. Trinity was the rebound school. It was not bad, but it was also not great. But these bad choices opened the doors to the next one, and what a great choice that turned out to be.
20. St. Theresa School: In the month of May, I decided that my kids would not be returning to Trinity the following school year. I knew a deacon that was very active at Church of the Little Flower. He went to the Carmelite Sisters, put in a good word, and my kids got accepted after registration had already been closed. STS will always hold a special place in my heart.
21. Granada Day School: I picked much better for Alex, and what an amazing day care God led me to. He spent two years here, PK2 and PK3, and what a difference it made in his life and mine. No wonder Trinity and Sagrado Corazon no longer exist, but Granada Day School is still around. This was the perfect little school, and every time I drive by it, I can’t help but smile. 
22. Our Lady of Lourdes Academy: My daughter had a tough time in middle school, but OLLA changed all that. She became a Peer Minister, she was able to grow spiritually, and she became more independent and assertive. She met at OLLA two of her best friends. It was the perfect school to help her transition from a girl to a young woman.
23. Belen Jesuit Prep School: I spent thirteen years at Belen, first with Rafi and then with Alex. I could not have asked for a better school to form my boys into men. Not only did they get an amazing education, but their hearts and consciences were formed. I am truly grateful to the Jesuits for their mission to form “men for others.”
24. Maria: We met because our two oldest became best friends in kindergarten. We’ve shared activities at STS and Belen. We have traveled together. We are Emmaus sistas. We are now studying Genesis together. And through it all, we have become best friends. We see each other more often than our kids do, and I am grateful that God placed her in my life.
25. The universities my kids attended: I feel that universities today deform instead of form They turned my conservative Catholic children into liberal and non-religious. However, I am still grateful for the education that they received. I pray that one day they realize that a spiritual community is just as important, and that the seeds that were planted will blossom.
26. Grupo Inmaculada: I attended Catholic school in Spain from 2nd to 5th grade. It was an all girls school, and I made friendships that would be part of my life forever. We have a WhatsApp group, and I’m still in touch with most of those classmates from back then, plus I have met new ones that joined the school after I left. I am so grateful for my Inmaculada friends.
27. Kinloch Park and Coral Gables Sr. High: These were the schools that I attended when I moved from Madrid to Miami. I learned to speak English at Kinloch. I made friends that filled the void left by Tere and Dulce. These schools provided me with a great education, and memories that I will always cherish.
28. Miami-Dade and FIU: I got my upper education at these two great institutions. In Miami-Dade, I discovered my love for Accounting. FIU gave me the degree. Every weekend that I spent in that library studying for those difficult exams was worth it. I would not have the career that I have today, if it had not received the education from these schools.
29. Jose A Luis MD: After high school, I wanted to study medicine and become a pediatrician. I am thankful to Dr. Luis for giving me a part-time job while I attended college. I soon realized that if I had to close my eyes when he vaccinated the babies, medicine was not for me. I felt much happier balancing the books than performing medical tasks.
30. Munditour and Saruski: My next two jobs gave me the necessary skills to work as an accountant. At Munditour, I learned bookkeeping. Saruski taught me to do income taxes, and to balance the books for various companies. It would come very handy when I opened my own accounting practice ten years later.
31. Coral Gables Federal: This job was literally sent to me by God. I was three months from graduation when they called me to see if I would be interested in becoming an Staff Accountant. I was working at Saruski, and was not even searching for another job. I interviewed, got the job, and spent nine years working there until the bank was sold.
32. My accounting practice: I began working from home with the goal that I had to have six clients by the end of the first six months. Twenty-eight years later, I just finished my busiest tax season with over 500 tax returns filed. I have an assortment of domestic and international clients, and I am truly grateful for the three ladies that help me meet all the deadlines.
33. Our first two homes: Our first home was witness to the first steps of our oldest two kids, their first words, and many celebrations. Seven years later we had the opportunity to get a bigger home. I was sad to leave behind the memories we had made, especially with our babies, but God send us Alex so we could make new memories in our second home, where we lived and loved for 25 years.
34. Our beach bungalow: We love the beach, and we always dreamed that one day we would own a place at the beach. When the opportunity presented itself in 2009, we tried but it didn’t work out. We waited five years, and in 2014, we made our dream come true. This place is like a little bit of heaven on earth. We love it, and are forever thankful to God that we get to enjoy a lot.
35. Our Gables apartment: When my hubby approached me with the idea to sell our home, I was not happy. Too many memories to live behind. But after three years of living in our new nest, I must say that he was right, and I should have listened sooner. An apartment requires such low maintenance that it has freed up so much of my time. And home is where your heart is.
36. Last but not least, my faith: I would not be the woman that I am today if I didn’t have the strong faith that I have. I would not have survived all the hardships that I have experienced in my 60-year journey. I am thankful to God for every single blessing that He has bestowed upon me, my family, my friends, and for every experience that He has allowed me to traverse, good and bad.

When I finished my walk, I realized that gratitude brings hope. Once I took this walk through memory lane, thanking God for every single person and thing that came into my mind as I walked, I felt hopeful. I left out a lot of things that I’m thankful for. Many more people that have touched me one way or another. Many places that I have visited that have made me realize what a wonderful world God has gifted us with. The Church communities that I have been a part of. But the main thing that this gratitude list gave me is to realize that no matter what we are going through, hope costs us nothing. There is always cause for hope, even when it all seems lost. Let’s be thankful for every little thing, and God will place hope in our hearts.

Copyright © 2022 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Hope for the Crabs

 “Our hope for you is firm, for we know that as you share in the sufferings, you also share in the encouragement.” 1 Corinthians 1:7

I always compare myself to a crab. The reason is that when life throws me a curveball, I tend to run and hide, just like the crabs do in the sand. When I’m facing a difficult situation, it’s hard for me to open up. My first instinct is to hide in my private crab hole, and keep my feelings bottled up inside. Coincidentally, even though I don’t pay much attention to the horoscope, my sign is cancer, and it does describe me perfectly.

It’s not good to bottle up our feelings when we are feeling sad, stressed or depressed. A burden shared is much easier to carry. As the saying goes: “A burden shared is a burden halved, just like a joy shared is a joy doubled.” I learned this lesson back in 2009 when I was facing my darkest hour. I was asked not to talk about it for various reasons, so I turned into a crab. I separated from my friends. I stopped participating in the Emmaus retreats, of which I had been an active member up to that point. I was carrying this heavy burden on my own. Well, not exactly. My husband was carrying it with me. And God was helping us. But still, I needed community badly.

God, however, works in mysterious ways, and He led me to a bible community at St. Louis Catholic Church. It took weeks, even months, but little by little, I began to venture out of the crab hole. When I finally opened up and shared my burden, my new brothers and sisters in Christ asked if they could help me carry my burden. And just like that, my burden halved. And eventually, my burden turned into joy. And just like they had halved my burden, they doubled my joy.

The book of the Bible that we studied that year was Genesis, and now, thirteen years later, we are studying Genesis once again. But the beauty of the Bible is that we can read it a thousand times, and always get something different out of it. As I look back, I realize that I have come a long way from my crabby ways. Now, whether through my blog or in person, I don’t carry my burdens alone. I share them with others. And it is so much easier when we allow our community to help us.

If you have crabby tendencies like me, do not despair. There is hope for the crabs. Just like I learned to step out of the crab hole, you can too. Sometimes we think that the burden we carry is different than everyone else’s, but you’ll be surprised. When I shared my burden all those years ago, I discovered that there were many people carrying a similar burden. When I allowed them to help me, the weight of the burden diminished exponentially. And eventually, I began to help others, and I realized that we are not meant to be crabs.

The lesson I learned and which I hope I can share is: “Don’t be a crab.” Step out of the crab hole, and allow others to help you carry whatever it is that you are going through. There’s a saying in Spanish that goes like this: “Cada uno con lo suyo y Dios con lo de todos.” (Each one with its own and God with everyone’s). But God doesn’t want us to isolate ourselves. We are meant to live in community, helping each other out. So don’t be afraid to open up. You’ll be surprised how many others are carrying a similar burden, and they can help to alleviate yours. 

If I learned to step out of the crab hole, you can too. There is hope for the crabs. A burden shared is a burden halved, just like a joy shared is a joy doubled. Don’t limit yourself to share the joys. I want to hear about your burdens too, and I will do my best to half your weight.

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