I have been on a Spiritual Vacation

“Totus Tuus” John Paul II

Every summer my spirituality seems to take a vacation. I’m not sure what causes it, but for whatever reason, during the summer, my spiritual well runs dry. It’s almost as if the hot sun has a drying effect on my soul.

A few days ago, a friend invited me to start the Marian consecration. To be honest, I had no idea what she was talking about. But I knew that I needed to get back on my spiritual track, so I ordered the book that she recommended. I started reading it on Thursday, and I learned that a Marian consecration is “a new way of life in Christ.” t thought that a Marian consecration meant that I would consecrate myself to Mary, but instead, what it means is that I will consecrate myself to Jesus through Mary.

This reminded me of what I learned during my Holy Land pilgrimage five years ago. On that pilgrimage, at the Church of the Visitation, I felt in love with a painting on the back wall of the church that shows Mary standing with the moon at her feet. Father Willie, our spiritual director during the pilgrimage, told us that the reason why Mary is shown many times standing in top of the moon is because Mary is like the moon. Just like the moon does not have light of its own but instead reflects the light of the sun, Mary reflects the light of her Son. Therefore, it makes sense that a Marian consecration doesn’t mean that we are going to be consecrated to Mary, instead, she will help us to get closer to her Son.

The book that my friend recommended for the consecration is called “33 days to Morning Glory,” by Father Michael Gaitley. It’s basically a 33 day retreat that should lead me to “a gloriously new day, a new dawn, a brand new morning in (my) spiritual journey.” I’m on day three of the retreat, and I am so excited. I feel that this is exactly what I needed to water my dry well.

I know that sticking to this for 33 days will not be an easy task because life has a way to get in the way. But I like the fact that the book addresses this: “33 days is a long time to be on retreat, and it just might happen that, despite our good intentions and best efforts, we’ll miss a day (or days) of the readings and prayers. If this happens, we need not get discouraged, and we surely shouldn’t quit!” This alone gave me hope because I have the tendency to quit if things don’t go as planned, and missing a day of the retreat would be enough for me to call it quits.

Therefore, I am starting this journey to “Morning Glory” with every intention to keep up with the daily readings and prayers. But if for whatever reason, I happen to miss a day (or days), I will not quit, I will “simply read the text for the days (I) missed as soon as (I) can and keep going with the retreat.”

Hopefully, by the time I reach the end of the retreat on August 15th, the feast of the Assumption, I will experience “a gloriously new morning in my walk with Christ, now with Mary.” And hopefully by then, my spiritual vacation will have reached its end, and I will be fully consecrated to living “a new way of life in Christ.” As St. John Paul II used to say, “Totus Tuus.” I am “Totally Yours” Christ, do with me as You wish.

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Grand-parenting in the 21st Century

“Being a grandparent in this century is fascinating. Last century we were wise parents. On this one, we are just prehistoric.”

I spent this weekend in New York babysitting my 19-month old grandson. I was changing his diaper, and my son noticed that I kept turning the wipe so I could use it various times. He told me: “You use that wipe a lot more than me. I wipe once and then I get a new one.” His comment made me realize the huge gap between his generation and mine, and we are just 30 years apart. I can’t even imagine what my grandmother would think if she was alive today.

I was born in the 60s where disposable diapers were not even a dream. My mom and grandmother had to use cloth diapers, wash them and re-wash them to be used over and over again. Thankfully, by the time my turn came to become a mommy in the 80s, disposable diapers were already the norm. But we were still far behind from the generation that is becoming parents today. 

In many ways, we have advanced and come a long way, which makes babysitting our grandkids in the 21st century much easier. The baby monitor is now on my phone, and I can see the baby while he sleeps. In other ways, though, we are not doing so good. Yes, it is much easier to use disposable diapers than cloth ones, and much better not to have to worry about turning the wipe around to use just one or two wipes, instead of five or six, but recent studies have shown us that all these disposable items are seriously affecting our environment. Ninety-nine percent of the stuff we buy today is trashed within six months. And we are getting worst with every generation. It’s not just the baby stuff, today, almost everything is disposable. I read recently that in the past forty years we have produced more waste than in the entire history of humanity.

I remember my grandfather always carrying a handkerchief. My husband still received handkerchiefs during Christmas. If I were to give a handkerchief to my sons today, they will probably ask me: “What is that for?” My dad reused the piece of aluminum foil where he carried his lunch for an entire week, or maybe even longer if it was still in good condition. We never threw away the old newspapers. My grandmother would use them to clean the windows. We used them to wrap the glass items to place inside boxes. We even used them to wrap garbage before we threw it out so it wouldn’t smell. My grandparents kept their photographs in old shoe boxes. My grandmother used to have a box full of buttons, safety pins and other sewing knick knacks. I picked up this custom from her. I save all the extra buttons that come with the clothing. I don’t think I have ever had to use one because I don’t keep my clothes long enough for them to lose a button, but I just can’t throw the buttons away… just in case.

I grew up with the mentality that we had to save everything just in case we needed it in the future, but I think my generation is probably the last one, at least in the US, that has an issue throwing away things. I saved my kids’ belly buttons, their first haircuts, their teeth, their first drawings and their first school uniforms. I’m sure my kids will not save anything of my grandkids. At the most, they may take a picture and save it on their iPhones. We have become a disposable society. We don’t save anything anymore.

The iPhone is another device that becomes obsolete when the new model comes out. I think I’m about three or four years behind. Why should I get rid of it when it works perfectly? But not for the newer generations. They change phones faster than I can learn to use them. Cars are not purchased anymore, they are leased and exchanged every three years, or even less. Computers, TVs, appliances… we don’t wait to exchange them until they stop working, that would be a sacrilege. Granted… they don’t last long nowadays. You are lucky if you buy something that doesn’t break within the year.

So yes, for those of us that were born in the last century, especially in the first sixty years, we have had to adapt rapidly. I have discovered that being a grandparent in this century is fascinating. Last century we were wise parents. On this one, we are just prehistoric. We don’t know anything. We did everything wrong with our kids. I have no idea how they survived. We put them to sleep on their tummy, how horrible. Now they must sleep face up. And forget the crib bumpers, pillows or blankets. They must sleep in a bare crib inside a sleep sack which I call the sack of potatoes. I don’t have to feed him, he does that all by himself. Cleanup does take a little longer since the food ends up in his hair, in his hands, in his feet and all around him. But he is learning much faster than my kids ever did. And I was a horrible mother introducing my kids to sweets so early in life. My grandson’s dessert is cheerios. We are not allowed to give him any ice cream or anything with sugar. And we better don’t cheat because we have nanny cams watching us all around us.

Babies now are also very technologically advanced. My grandson only speaks a few words, but he clearly says: “Hey Google.” His parents own the Alexa counterpart. He has spent the first nineteen months of his life listening to his parents say: “Hey Google, turn on the lights.” “Hey Google, how’s the weather today?” “Hey Google, play a song.” Of course he now clearly says: “Hey Google.” And he knows exactly where Google is. He looks at it, and he laughs when Google responds to him by turning on its lights. I would have never imagined such a device thirty years ago.

My grandson also talks to his wrist. His parents soon realized that he was imitating his Dada talking to his Apple Watch. He also knows how to navigate the iPhone perfectly by scrolling his little finger until he starts to open all the Apps. And he loves seeing himself on my screensaver. He points at the phone and calls out: “Baby,” and laughs when I show him the screen.

I love my Benedict more than life so I adapt, and I obey his dada and mama’s instructions. I must admit that they are doing a great job. This is the first time that me and my hubby stayed with him on our own, and he did great. He is so well behaved that as long as we followed his routine, he didn’t give us any trouble at all. He falls sleep on his own, and doesn’t even cause a fuss. But I must say it has been hard adapting to all the new gadgets and technology. Hopefully, by the time I’m on grandchild number five, I will be an expert 21st century grandma. Or maybe not. Who knows what new technology will be around a few years from now. I probably won’t even need to read them a book. Artificial Intelligence will take away the job from me.

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Surrendering to God Leads to Interior Freedom

“The more we confidently entrust the future to God, without trying to know it or master it, the more secure and peaceful we are.” Jacques Philippe

Once in a while, it’s good to get away from the frenzy of the world to be able to hear God’s voice. Silence is God’s first language, and it’s hard to hear Him in a world that thrives on noise. Unless we take time away from everything and everyone, we won’t be able to hear His voice clearly. We may hear Him, but like a phone conversation when there is static on the line, His voice will reach us muffled by the noise around us.

I was able to take this time away from the world for one weekend in May. The retreat that I attended is based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. The original exercises last thirty days. Wouldn’t that be nice?  Disappearing for thirty days sounds wonderful in theory but pretty unrealistic in real life. Most of us cannot afford that luxury. We have responsibilities that will not allow us to get away for that long. But we can settle for two or three days. Trust me, it may sound difficult, but it is so freeing.

At first, all I wanted to do was to look at my phone. I kept telling myself: “Just one time, seriously, what difference will it make?” I must confess that I succumbed to the temptation a couple of times. But then, I put it away, and to be disengaged from technology for forty-eight hours felt absolutely wonderful.

Technology is a barrier between us and God. We may use it to meditate, to listen to religious Podcasts and to help us with our prayers, but the truth is that it also distracts us and lures us into other things that have nothing to do with God. The purpose of going on retreat without the interference of technology is to get closer to God, to get to know Him better, to love Him more, and to find out what He desires for me and from me. Technology will not provide these answers.

During the retreat, I experienced an interior freedom that it’s hard to describe. Coincidentally, or most likely God-incidentally, during our silent meals we listened to a book titled “Interior Freedom” by Jacques Philippe. This book helped me to put into words what I was feeling. 

The book explains that we need to liberate our hearts to be able to live the true freedom to which God calls us. That is exactly what I experienced on that silent weekend: interior freedom. God is the source of this interior freedom, and the world cannot take it away. This discovery allowed me to realize that no matter what happens on the outside, I can experience true happiness within me. If I expand that interior freedom, nothing can crush me. But the only way to expand the interior freedom is to surrender to God.

When we surrender to God, we can live in complete self abandonment. God is in charge so we have nothing to worry about. This requires a total detachment from our own plans, which is not easy. But if we can manage it, this complete dependence on God will gives us great interior freedom.

It requires complete trust to be able to fully surrender our lives to God. When we do, we will realize that God is all we need. And then, we will be truly free. In the meantime, the world has a hold on us that whether we realize it or not, it’s like living in a jail cell filled with worry, anxiety and fear. 

The retreat taught me that even though I cannot physically disappear from the world for prolonged periods of times, I can set aside moments of silence during the day. I can spend quiet time in the car on my way to work. I don’t need to turn on the TV the minute I walk into the house. I can stop by the Blessed Sacrament once in a while. I can sit in my prayer nook for a few minutes each day. These silent moments will connect me to God, allow me to surrender all to Him, and truly experience the interior freedom that I discovered during the retreat. 

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

The Marriage Journey

 Love is patient, love is kind.” 1 Cor 13:14

My dearest Chabeli and Daniel:

The day has finally arrived when you will be walking down the aisle to promise that you will love each other for the rest of your lives.

You began this journey when you met almost nine years ago. You first got to know each other, you dated and eventually, you moved in together. Two years ago, you decided to plant roots in Charlotte, and last year, you got engaged. 

Today, you begin the marriage journey. What words of wisdom can I share that you don’t know already? I decided to do a comparison with a few things the world tells you and what I have learned in the 39 years of my own marriage journey:

1. The world tells you to never go to bed angry. I tell you that sometimes it’s better to go to bed angry than to beat each other. Seriously, and I’m sure you know this already, sometimes you need to sleep it off and talk about it the next day when the tempers have cooled off. 
2. The world tells you that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Wrong. If that was the case, I would have been divorced within the month, LOL. Definitely feeding him raviolis from a can did not win me his heart. But maybe in Daniel’s case, the way to Chabeli’s heart was preparing her delicious meals. 
3. The world tells you that love is never having to say you’re sorry. Ha ha ha. You will need to say “I’m sorry” many times. Hopefully neither one of you is afraid to say it because love means being able to say “I’m sorry” over and over again.
4. The world tells you to choose your battles. I agree on this one. It’s best not to fight over the little things, like how much luggage to take on a trip. Dad knows exactly what I mean, LOL. 
5. The world tells you not to put your children above your marriage. Very true. You two are the roots of the tree and the children are just the branches. The tree cannot survive without the roots. Your children will be happier if you are happy and you have solid, strong roots. Yes, they will demand your full attention, but don’t take each other for granted. Let them know that mom and dad also need “alone” time.
6. The world tells you that if it doesn’t work out, divorce is always a choice. Don’t allow it to be. Every argument, every disagreement, has a solution, but when you bring “divorce” into the argument as an option, it will become the solution. There is always another path, the one that leads to reconciliation.
7. The world tells you to put “yourself” first. I couldn’t disagree more. You need to put the other one first. But it takes two to tango. If only one of you does this, eventually resentment and competition will creep into your marriage. But if both of you care more for each other than you do for yourselves, then you will always dance to the beat of a passionate tango. 
8. The world tells you that honesty is the best policy. I totally agree. If you start keeping things from each other, pretty soon you will lose trust, which is one of the main ingredients for a successful marriage. It’s very difficult to regain trust once it’s gone. 
9. The world tells you to save for a rainy day. I tell you to save for a hurricane. You never know when life can throw you a curve ball and you may be without a job. They say it’s good to have six months of your salary saved up. I say, if possible, have one year of your salary saved up.
10. The world tells you that you have to do it on your own. Not true. You are not alone on this journey, so whenever you have a question or need some advice, don’t hesitate to grab the phone and make a call. You can call dad and I at any time, day or night. We will always be here for you, and even if we give you a hard time once in a while, we are your biggest cheerleaders because we want you to succeed and have a long lasting marriage.

May God bless you today and always, and may He always walk by your side even when you feel that you don’t need Him. May He bless you with children, and may you never take each other for granted. Enjoy the marriage journey, and may it be a journey of unending love, sprinkled with unexpected surprises, lots of rainbows, plenty of sunshine, filled with joy, incredible adventures, and plenty of romance. 

May you live happily ever after. 

With love,

Mom (and Dad too)

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Surrendering Opens the Door to Amazing Adventures

 “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.” -- Helen Keller

Thirty-six years ago, my husband was desperately looking for a job. We had both graduated from FIU a year earlier with a Bachelor’s Degree, but finding a job proved quite difficult for him. At the time, the majority of job postings would come out in the Sunday’s edition of the Miami Herald. Our routine was to search the paper while having breakfast. We would circle the ones that sounded most promising, type letters in the good old reliable typewriter, and mail them out with his résumé on Monday morning. Then came the waiting game. 

We did this for almost an entire year. The majority of those letters executed the “reject” letter. We already knew it as soon as it arrived in the mailbox inside a thin envelope. It always began the same way: “Thank you for your interest in our company, but…” 

We finally surrendered the job search to God. We left it in His Hands figuring that if He wanted Rafa to find a job, it would happen in His time, not ours. Luckily, Rafa was working for a small Accounting firm. It was not his ideal job, but at least he was not unemployed. 

At the time, we were also trying to have a baby. We were not very successful in this department either. After seeing my husband’s struggle with the job hunting, I went to Church one day and said a prayer to God. I told Him that I would surrender my desire to have a baby if He could find a job for my hubby. As you can imagine, this took a lot of courage because I really wanted a baby, but my husband’s desperation was growing by the day, and it was breaking my heart to see him this way, especially because I had found a great job without even looking. It had literally landed on my lap three months before graduation. 

Finally, in April 1987, he got an interview with a real estate company. After a couple meetings, he was hired as Assistant Comptroller. He was sooo happy, and so was I. There was just one little problem. I didn’t tell him about the deal that I had made with God. 

I had been trying unsuccessfully to become pregnant for eight months now. A series of tests determined that I was low on a hormone called progesterone which could seriously affect my ability to get pregnant. I went through infertility treatments for the next eight months only to realize that having a baby was not happening for us. I don’t think when I made that deal with God I truly believed that He would take me up on my proposal, but by this time I was starting to believe that He had actually granted me what I had requested word by word. 

I went back to Church and prayed again. I thanked Him for getting Rafa into an amazing company but I still really wanted a baby. “I know what I said to You eight months ago, and I don’t think is fair to change it now that You got Rafa a job. But if we can’t have a baby of our own, please God help us to adopt. We heard it takes years. Can you speed up the process, Lord? But not my will, Lord. I surrender this to You, Lord.”

It was early December when I had this conversation with God. We stopped all the infertility treatments and decided to start the adoption process after Christmas. I found out I was pregnant at the dawn of 1988. 

Fast forward to today, and my husband just retired from a 36-year career with the Codina Family. They gave him a surprise retirement lunch last week that brought together people that he’s worked with through the span of all these years. It also brought down our three children, our daughter-in-law and our grandson. Hearing what others had to say about him and the legacy he’s leaving behind brought tears to my eyes. 

Little did I know that surrendering our lives to God all those years ago would open the doors to such amazing adventures. A job that began as Assistant Comptroller in Downtown Miami took my husband to work at different locations throughout the county holding various jobs from Comptroller to VP of Finance, Regional Market Officer and finally, CFO. But the best part was that he met a wonderful family that taught him so much, and who treat him as one of their own, to the point that they don’t allow him to retire fully. They have given him the new title of Vice Chairman, but he gets to go to the office whenever he pleases which is about three times a week. 

God made him wait a year to find the right job because He knew where he needed to be. And He didn’t hold me to my pretty dumb deal. He blessed us with three amazing children that have taken us on quite interesting journeys. 

Definitely allowing God to be the driver of our lives has been a much better choice than if we had tried to be in control. We learned a big lesson so now, when we find ourselves at the threshold of any major decision, we just tell God: “It’s in your hands, Lord. We surrender.” And then we just wait to see what amazing adventure God has in store for us.

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Trust your Heart

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

How many times have I heard the phrase “Trust your heart”? Way too many to count. Whenever I’m faced with a tough decision, people tell me “trust your heart.” When I have to select between two different choices, I’m told to “trust my heart.” But what exactly does this mean?

“Trust your heart” means listening to your soul. If you have two paths in front of you, visualize yourself taking just one of them. Do you feel uplifted when you see yourself selecting this option? Or do you feel nervous and insecure? Do the same thing with the other path. If one makes you feel excited and the other one causes you to panic, you have your answer. Your heart is already telling you which path to follow.

Many times, though, both paths may cause you anxiety. What do you do then? This is exactly where I am right now. I have to make an important decision, and both choices are creating a lot of nervous energy within me. I keep asking myself, “what am I afraid of?”

The only way to find the right answer is by placing my trust in God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart” Prov 3:5, is a phrase I like much more than “trust your heart.” I have more confidence in God than in my heart. I know I can trust God. I know that He will help me choose the right path. When I place my full trust in Him, I don’t need to figure things out on my own. I don’t need to be anxious. I don’t need to fear.

The greatest obstacle in trusting the Lord with all my heart is that many times I want to make my own choices and decisions without consulting with God. Even though I know in my heart what He is telling me to do, I still want to do it my way, and I have a hard time surrendering my will to Him.

When I finally surrender and I decide to trust God with all my heart, great things start to happen. My soul begins to feel joyful because I know that God is faithful. If I look back on my life, I can find times when I trusted God and He delivered. My heart rejoices because God cares deeply about me and my situation. He promises that He will help me choose what is good for me, even if it’s not always what I want.

Once I place my full trust in God, then I can trust my heart. God lives within my heart. He is always with me. And because He is with me inside my heart, I can trust my heart. The voice within my heart telling me which path to choose is the voice of God. And His voice can be trusted. 

If you are in the midst of anxiety or you are at the threshold of making an important decision, join me in prayer:

“Lord, you know the fear and anxiety that I feel today. Pour out a spirit of belief over me, so I can choose to trust You. Even though I feel worried, I will choose to trust You. Help me to identify the fear and anxiety that has taken a hold of my heart so I can place it at the foot of your cross. I know You have the power to save me from my troubles now. Thank You for being with me. You are my strength and my hope. I will worship You today even if I cannot quite understand what You are doing. Thank You for putting your trust within my heart. Amen.”

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Surrendering Willingly

 “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

Palm Sunday kicks off the most important week for the Catholic Church, Holy Week. I have been contemplating how that week unfolded in Jesus’ life. I have tried to put myself in His shoes, an impossible feat, but I attempted it anyway. 

What would I do different this week if I knew it was my last Holy Week? 

Jesus knew that He was going to be killed, and yet, instead of running to the hills to hide, He entered Jerusalem riding on a donkey with His head held high. Would I have the courage to do the same? I think it would probably depend on the type of death. Crucifixion… definitely not. I’m not that brave. I would have definitely run as far away as possible trying not to get caught. And yet, Jesus carried His cross with dignity. I had never thought of it this way, but Jesus not only surrendered, He surrendered willingly. 

On the days prior to His death, Jesus spent time with His friends. “Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany… They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him” John 12:1-2. He not only spent time with His friends, but He shared His deepest fears. “Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me’" John 13:21. He even spent time with the one that He knew would betray Him. Spending time with family and friends would definitely be high on my priority list, but spending time with enemies? No way. I would not want to spend my last days with those that for whatever reason I dislike. And yet, Jesus is asking me to “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another” John 13:34.

Jesus humbly served His disciples: “He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around his waist” John 13:5. He continued to teach them by example. “I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do. Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him” John 13:15-16. He spoke words of encouragement to them: “Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid” John 14:27. This is truly admirable. If I knew I was going to die, would I serve others? Would I encourage them? Most likely, my reaction would be just the opposite. I would expect people to encourage me and to serve me. And yet, Jesus is teaching us to serve and encourage others until our very last breath.

Jesus taught His disciples, and in turn He teaches us, to be obedient to God: “I love the Father and I do just as the Father has commanded me” John 14:31. He teaches us to surrender willingly to God’s will: “He fell prostrate in prayer, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will. My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!’” Matthew 26:39, 42.

As I contemplated all these events in Jesus’ life, which took place during the days and hours leading to His passion and death, I tried to imagine for just one second if I would have surrendered so willingly to the Father’s will, and I honestly cannot answer. I would like to think that when my time comes, I will surrender, but willingly? That is the difference between Jesus and me, and the reason why placing myself in His shoes is much harder than I could possibly imagine. But as I walk with Him during this Holy Week, hoping that is not my last one but trying to live it as He did, in other words, as if it was my last one, I will try to drop everything that is not important, follow Jesus into His Passion, and abandon myself into His Hands.

He calls each of us by name because He loves us. Will we surrender to Him willingly? Will we accept our cross, and carry it willingly just like He did? Will we do anything differently if He told us: “This is your last Holy Week, make it count.”

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.