Letters to Heaven during the Easter Season: I Don't Want Them Anymore

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”—LUKE 12:25–26

April 22, 2006

Dear Jesus:

Here I am spending time with You in the Blessed Sacrament. I can see You, yet I cannot feel You. Maybe I'm trying to feel You in a super natural way and that's not going to happen. Maybe the peace that I feel inside of me is You.

This past year, my prayer life and my communication with You have improved a lot. I need that half an hour of meditation before I begin my day. I feel much more calm and at peace when I place my trust in You. As long as I make time for You everything falls into place.

As You well know, I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I worry about my children. I worry about my husband. I worry about things that need to be done. I worry about lack of time. I worry about my work. I am always worrying about something. And I ask myself, why do I worry so much? What is the point? All I need to do is hand my worries to You. 

You will take care of my children. They are your children too. You gave them to me so of course You will take care of them. 

You will also take care of my husband. You always have, why would You stop now? You have always provided a good job for him. You have always helped him when he needs to make an important decision. I know that You will continue to take good care of him. 

Lack of time has always been a struggle in my life. The days don't seem to have enough hours and the nights have even less. Maybe I try to do too much in a day. You give me enough hours to accomplish the important things. Those that remain undone, they must not be so important after all. As long as I find time for You in my day, and time to spend with my family, all is good. The rest is secondary.

My work will still be there tomorrow so why should I worry so much about it? What I can't finish today, I will take care of tomorrow. And if I can't get to it tomorrow, there's always the next day.

If I worry less during the day, I will be able to sleep better at night. So from now on, I'm worrying less so I can sleep more. You can have my worries, Jesus. I don't want them anymore.

I love You, Jesus!!!

April 28, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Worry has always been a heavy burden in my life. That is the reason why this year, for Lent, I decided that instead of giving up chocolate, I would give up worrying. I transferred my worries to You. And I don't want them back, thank You very much. You can keep them. Life is much easier when You carry my worries.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during the Easter Season: I Feel Gloomy

"You have all eternity to experience the presence of God, but you have a very short time to do something for Him." Mother Angelica

April 6, 2008

Dear Jesus:

Lent is over. I must confess to You that I do not enjoy Lent. Lent is a gloomy time. It's a season of suffering. Meditating on your passion always makes me sad. But I understand that we have to go through the passion and the suffering in order to fully enjoy and comprehend the Resurrection.

At the beginning of Lent, I told You that I wanted to do three things. The first one was to abstain from nagging. I think I succeeded because it was in the back of my mind constantly so when I felt into my bad nagging habit, I realized it and consciously tried to stop.

The second one was to pray more. I'm proud that I have gotten Rafe to pray with me as we walk in the mornings. I used to pray in silence or by myself. Now, we pray together like we used to do at the beginning of our marriage. I also wanted to attend one additional mass during the week and that was difficult. But I managed to do it five out of the seven weeks of Lent.

The last thing I wanted to do during Lent was "almsgiving" of either time or treasure. I couldn't do it with my time so now I must do it with my treasure. I have a very short time on earth to do something for You. I believe that helping those in need is doing something for You. Only then, will I truly enjoy the Resurrection.

I love You, Jesus!!!

April 24, 2017

Dear Jesus:

This past week, I have been in a gloomy mood. Usually, it's the other way around. I look forward to Easter because it marks the end of Lent. This year, for some reason, I felt sad and empty when Lent ended.

Even though I was gloomy, it was a busy week. Tax season got extended until April 18th, so I was pretty busy on Monday and Tuesday. Then I gave myself three days off. I need that "ME" time once in a while. I hosted a prayer lunch on Wednesday, went to the zoo on Thursday and attended a funeral mass for tia Carmen on Friday. Tia Carmen was one of Rafe's many aunts and one of my favorites. She was very close to my father-in-law. She always had a joy for life and a smile on her face. Even after losing one of her daughters to cancer a few years ago, she never lost her spirit. And as one of her niece's said, "she was la tia del cache," because she was always "emperifollada" (all dressed-up). As the priest said at the mass, she leaves behind quite a legacy of faith. And a beautiful family of daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Nevertheless, we will all miss her tremendously.

Now that Lent is over, I must find my rhythm once again. We are now in the season of Easter, the 50 days between Easter and Pentecost. I think part of the reason I have been gloomy is because in the past, I have been hit hard right after Lent. So I approach this season with trepidation. My dad was diagnosed with cancer on April 15, 2014. And eight years ago today, we received a very tough call about Rafi. So You have to understand why I'm a little scared as I enter the Easter season.

Every day, I read a meditation from a little book called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Yesterday's reflection touched me. "Keep your eyes on me... I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task. That is why it's so important to seek My will in everything you do... In order to know My will, you must spend time with Me..." I promise to spend time with You, Jesus, during this Easter season. You are all that matters, and no matter what curve balls life throws at me, as long as You are at the center, we will get through it together. And You reaffirmed this in today's reflection: "I am always with you, so you have no reason to be afraid."

Show me what You need me to do for You. And help me to trust that You are in control. I have no reason to be afraid or to feel gloomy because You resurrected and You are always with me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Happy Easter

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” —MATTHEW 28:5–7

Easter Sunday: April 24, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Happy Easter! Today we celebrate your resurrection. It's one of the most important days of our Catholic faith... And it's raining outside. That in itself is very unusual. I don't remember too many rainy Easter's . 

Two years ago today we received the phone call that would change our lives forever. I can split my life in two: before April 24, 2009 and after April 24, 2009. Before, I lived a carefree life. I had worries, but they were not serious. Health was not too much of a concern. My biggest worry was when the kids went out and didn't get home until the wee hours. I also lived a very well planned life. I knew, from one year to the next, where we would go on vacation. I always planned ahead. Sometimes plans had to be changed or altered, but I pretty much knew what I would be doing the following day, the following week, the following month, and even the following year.

Since April 24, 2009, I'm scared to plan. I have had to learn to live an unplanned life... And I don't like it. I don't like to plan things from one day to the next. That is not me. I like organization. I like to have options and when things are done last minute, there are not too many options available.

I also worry a whole lot more since that day. I know that I need to trust You, leave it all in your hands... I know all that Jesus, and trust me, I try. But it's hard for me because once again, that is not me. I'm a worry wart. And I have come a long way. I don't even worry as much when the kids are out. Sometimes, I even fall asleep so deeply that I don't even hear when they get home. But I do worry about the future and the extended consequences of this illness that caught us all by surprise.

I am hopeful that it will all turn out fine because in these past two years, You have performed miracles. But allow me to worry and forgive me for worrying. I try, but the worry bugs just won't leave me alone.

Thank You, Jesus, for giving your life for us and for showing us that there is hope even when it all seems hopeless.

I love You, Jesus!!! Happy Easter!!!

Easter Sunday: April 16, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Happy Easter! And thank You for allowing me to have a mostly worry-free Lent. Thank You for teaching me how to trust and how to let go and let You take charge of my life and the lives of my loved ones.

Yesterday, I witnessed a miracle. After two months of waiting for April, the giraffe, to give birth to her calf, it finally happened on Easter weekend. What an amazing gift. I had a front row seat, through a live video cam, to witness your beautiful creation in all its glory. It took about three hours since hooves first appeared until the calf was all the way out. And within an hour, he was on his feet, nursing from his mama. But what amazed me the most was Mama April's love. Even while just two hooves were out, she kept turning her neck and licking her baby. And when the head was out, she was constantly kissing him. And as soon as the baby dropped to the floor, she turned around and began to lick him, encouraging him to get up. It was so beautiful to watch. A perfect gift on this weekend when we are celebrating your resurrection and we are celebrating new life.

In the past eight years, I have witnessed many miracles. What seemed at the time to be the end of the world, was just the beginning. We just had to adapt and learn to live differently. And You have carried us in more ways than I could possibly explain. Yes, my Rafi has a serious illness and he needs to always be on high alert, but he has taught me so much. He has never said, "why me?" He never complained, even when he was at his worst. He had to take a year off from school, but he gained so much by it. In that year, he found his vocation, and when he returned to college, in one of those Computer Engineering classes, he met his love, his soon-to-be-wife, his Emily. I have so much to be thankful for. When life seems to turn upside down, it's just a detour on the road. And through his illness, I have met so many amazing people. And You have shown me that You always have a plan. And You can write straight out of crooked lines.

I love You, Jesus!!! Happy Easter!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Today, We Wait

“Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Holy Saturday: April 7, 2012

Dear Jesus:

Today is a very sad day. After seeing You on the cross on Good Friday, today must have been a day of helplessness for your Mother and for your disciples. They probably felt defeated. They probably thought that it all ended on the cross.

When we have a heavy cross to carry, we feel the same way. We feel helpless and defeated. We wonder, what is the point? Is there any sense in all this suffering? But the truth is that the cross is the root of Christianity. When we refuse to accept our crosses, we reject You. We have to accept our crosses in order to be able to follow You. 

Our society is too comfortable. We don’t want to give up our comforts. Yet, we have to carry our crosses with dignity and perseverance because we will be saved through the cross.

Just like your disciples and your blessed Mother stood firm on their faith on Holy Saturday, we must do the same. We have to be courageous and we have to be strong. No matter how heavy is our cross, no matter how difficult it is to carry the burden, we can’t give up. We have to surrender all our suffering to You. Sometimes we even have to surrender the thing or the person that we love the most.

We have to join our sufferings to yours on the cross in order to rise with You in the Resurrection. We have to do so in love. We have to offer all our love to You. Even if we are suffering, we have to love with all our heart. When we love and we have compassion for others, when we rise above our sufferings and we love and care for others who are suffering too, we will be able to see your face. Love and compassion are the keys that will open the doors to Heaven.

Today, we wait.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Holy Saturday: April 15, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today, we wait. We wait, just like Mama Mary waited 2,000 years ago. I'm sure she felt lonely, sad, and scared, but I'm also sure that she trusted You. Please, teach us to trust the way your blessed Mother trusted.

Today, we sit with Mama Mary and we wait. After the cross, comes the Resurrection. That is our hope and our trust.

I love you, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Face to Face

"God works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." Ephesians 1:11

Good Friday: April 18, 2014

Dear Jesus:

Today is Good Friday. We remember your death on the cross. I'm sorry for all the times that I have sinned because every time I sin, I nail You to the cross.

This week has been a week of bad news. First, Meli's uncle passed away in a very tragic way. He was so young. Please Jesus accept him into your kingdom and give him everlasting life. I pray for his whole family, especially his three kids who are now left without a dad.

The second bad news was about my dad. He was diagnosed with angio-sarcoma, a very rare and aggressive form of cancer which attacks the blood vessels. Jesus, whatever the outcome, please have mercy on him and don't let him suffer. He has always been a very loving man. He stepped in to be my dad and he always did a great job. He loved me as his own daughter all my life. And I love him as a father. Please, lighten up his cross. If this is the end for him, please accept him into your kingdom and wait for him with open arms. I love him with all my heart. I don't want to lose him, but I prefer to let him go than to see him suffer. Jesus, please carry him through and give my mom the strength that she will need to endure this cross on her journey.

I love You, Jesus, and I await for the day when I can meet You face to face.

Good Friday: April 14, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My dad's journey was tough but You allowed us to enjoy him two more years. Eventually, he lost the battle, but he went in peace and I have no doubt that You welcomed him into your kingdom with open arms.

Today, we celebrated a peaceful Good Friday. For a few years now, Rafe and I have started a new tradition. We do our own Good Friday pilgrimage by visiting five different churches and praying one mystery of the rosary at each church. Our pilgrimage today took us from Hallandale Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. We started at St. Matthew where we prayed and meditated on your agony in the garden. We then headed to Little Flower in Hollywood where we pondered about your scourging at the pillar. Our next stop was St. Maurice at Dania Beach. Here we remembered your crowning of thorns. We went on to St. Jerome, where we accompanied You on the carrying of the cross. And we finished at St. Sebastian, where we prayed the last mystery, your crucifixion, and we stayed for the service of the Passion.

This year, Good Friday had a special meaning for me. I just finished a five-week Bible study on the movie "The Passion." It was very powerful. So today, as I listened to John's scripture about your passion, the movie was being replayed in my mind. Jesus, how where You able to endure such pain and such sorrow? And as the priest said, "You did so willingly." You knew what was about to happen to You and You accepted it. How much You love us that You accepted the ultimate sacrifice for the love of us.

Thank You Jesus, for giving your life for me. I don't deserve You. I hope one day, I have the honor of being able to meet You face to face.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Embarking on A Life of Prayer

"Because most of God’s important work happens unnoticed, we should be careful to water that seed of faith even when we don’t see impressive results right away. We can trust that God will bring the growth in his time and in his fashion." The Word Among Us January 27, 2017

Holy Thursday: April 13, 2006

Dear Jesus:

I have been reading a book titled "The Cloister Walk" by Kathleen Norris. My sister in Christ, Mercy, gave me the book during the last Emmaus, and it has been a wonderful book to read during Lent. "A life of prayer must work the earth of the heart." As I reflect on this sentence, I can't help but think of my prayer life. As I look back upon my life, all 43 years of it, I can't remember a time when I did not pray. As far back as I can recall, I was always praying, or at least, I thought I was praying because I knew how to pray to the guardian angel, and I knew the basic prayers like the "Our Father" and the "Hail Mary."

But as I meditate on this sentence, I realize that I have never worked on the earth of my heart. I have always attempted to plant prayer in my heart without fertilizing the earth first. No wonder my prayer life has never been too deep. If I'm to lead a successful life of prayer, I must start by preparing the earth of my heart. I must clean out the weeds inside the earth, remove the rocks, and remove anything else in there that will suffocate the prayer. I must fertilize the earth by nourishing it with daily bible readings, meditations, learning about You, about your Mom, and about the saints. And I must water it daily by participating in the Sacraments, praying the rosary, and spending time with You in the Blessed Sacrament. Only then will my heart be ready to embark on a life of prayer.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Holy Thursday: April 13, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My life of prayer has come a long way in the past eleven years. I was walking baby steps back then. Now, I'm finally learning to walk a little faster. Maybe in another eleven years, I'll be able to run.

The turning point for me was when I signed up for that first Bible class back in 2009. The scriptures have taken my prayer life into a whole new dimension. I feel as if I was blind and now, I can see. Maybe I still need glasses, but I'm finally starting to distinguish things that were once hidden from me.

Today, as I celebrate your Last Supper, I want to offer You my heart. Please continue to fertilize the earth of my heart by nourishing it with your Word and your Love. And if I ever deny You, like Peter did, or betray You, like Judas did, please have mercy on me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Dance With Me

"Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre." 
     -Psalm 149:3

Holy Week: Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for extending me the invitation to participate in this Holy Week Retreat. It is an oasis in the busy-ness of my life. Thank You for bringing me here. 

Thank You for the gift of life. Thank You for being present at my birth. Thank You for embracing me and loving me since the second that I was conceived. 

Thank You for the parents that You chose for me. Thank You because they said "yes" to life. They chose to bring me into the world. Even though their life was in turmoil, they trusted You and they said, "let your will be done, not ours."

Thank You also for giving me the wonderful grandparents that You gave me. They were always present and they were always a big part of my life.

Thank You because You have always danced with me. When I've needed to tango, you have danced the tango with me. When I've needed to dance "merengue," you have done so willingly, shaking and moving with me to the beat. When I've needed to slow dance, You have danced cheek to cheek with me. When I've been too tired to dance, You've sat next to me, and You have held my hand. Thank You because You have always waltzed through life with me. You have always been the most willing of partners.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Holy Week: Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Will You dance with me? I need to dance cheek to cheek with You. Tomorrow, we start the Triduum. Help me to get close to You on the cross. Help me to release all the anxiety that I've been carrying. I need to heal in order to enjoy your resurrection on Sunday.

On Easter Sunday, I hope I'm ready to join the celebration, and dance a good "merengue" with You.

I love You, Jesus!!!