April 6, 2008
Dear Jesus:
Lent is over. I must confess to You that I do not enjoy Lent. Lent is a gloomy time. It's a season of suffering. Meditating on your passion always makes me sad. But I understand that we have to go through the passion and the suffering in order to fully enjoy and comprehend the Resurrection.
At the beginning of Lent, I told You that I wanted to do three things. The first one was to abstain from nagging. I think I succeeded because it was in the back of my mind constantly so when I felt into my bad nagging habit, I realized it and consciously tried to stop.
The second one was to pray more. I'm proud that I have gotten Rafe to pray with me as we walk in the mornings. I used to pray in silence or by myself. Now, we pray together like we used to do at the beginning of our marriage. I also wanted to attend one additional mass during the week and that was difficult. But I managed to do it five out of the seven weeks of Lent.
The last thing I wanted to do during Lent was "almsgiving" of either time or treasure. I couldn't do it with my time so now I must do it with my treasure. I have a very short time on earth to do something for You. I believe that helping those in need is doing something for You. Only then, will I truly enjoy the Resurrection.
I love You, Jesus!!!
April 24, 2017
Dear Jesus:
This past week, I have been in a gloomy mood. Usually, it's the other way around. I look forward to Easter because it marks the end of Lent. This year, for some reason, I felt sad and empty when Lent ended.
Even though I was gloomy, it was a busy week. Tax season got extended until April 18th, so I was pretty busy on Monday and Tuesday. Then I gave myself three days off. I need that "ME" time once in a while. I hosted a prayer lunch on Wednesday, went to the zoo on Thursday and attended a funeral mass for tia Carmen on Friday. Tia Carmen was one of Rafe's many aunts and one of my favorites. She was very close to my father-in-law. She always had a joy for life and a smile on her face. Even after losing one of her daughters to cancer a few years ago, she never lost her spirit. And as one of her niece's said, "she was la tia del cache," because she was always "emperifollada" (all dressed-up). As the priest said at the mass, she leaves behind quite a legacy of faith. And a beautiful family of daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Nevertheless, we will all miss her tremendously.
Now that Lent is over, I must find my rhythm once again. We are now in the season of Easter, the 50 days between Easter and Pentecost. I think part of the reason I have been gloomy is because in the past, I have been hit hard right after Lent. So I approach this season with trepidation. My dad was diagnosed with cancer on April 15, 2014. And eight years ago today, we received a very tough call about Rafi. So You have to understand why I'm a little scared as I enter the Easter season.
Every day, I read a meditation from a little book called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Yesterday's reflection touched me. "Keep your eyes on me... I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task. That is why it's so important to seek My will in everything you do... In order to know My will, you must spend time with Me..." I promise to spend time with You, Jesus, during this Easter season. You are all that matters, and no matter what curve balls life throws at me, as long as You are at the center, we will get through it together. And You reaffirmed this in today's reflection: "I am always with you, so you have no reason to be afraid."
Show me what You need me to do for You. And help me to trust that You are in control. I have no reason to be afraid or to feel gloomy because You resurrected and You are always with me.
I love You, Jesus!!!
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