Letters to Heaven during Lent: I Surrender

"The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps."
          -Proverbs 16:9

Week 5: April 9, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Here I am with Rafe, visiting You in the Blessed Sacrament. We are by ourselves, everyone else left... And now, Rafe has to leave too so it's just You and me. I cherish this moment in your Holy Presence.

In two weeks, we will celebrate Easter. Thank You for giving your life for us. Thank You for conquering death. Thank You for staying with us in the Eucharist.

Thank You for the gift of faith. Thank You for walking this journey with me. Thank You for never abandoning me. Thank You for all the blessings that You bestow upon me each and every day.

Thank You for teaching me to trust You, even when I couldn't understand. When the road bended and twisted through the unknown, You calmed the fear in my heart. When my plans were crushed and I had to learn to live an unplanned life, You were there to guide me and to lead me. Thank You for teaching me to live a life that is fully directed by You. Thank You for teaching me to live by your will and not mine. Thank You for teaching me to surrender all to You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 5: April 2, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's funny that after all this time, after all we've been through together, after all You've taught me, I still try to take control of my life once in a while. And every time, You crush my plans and You lead me in a totally different direction. You would think I would have gotten the message by now, but I'm so stubborn, that I still attempt to plan.

Last year was a perfect example. I was planning our trip to Eastern Europe to the last minute detail. But You had a different plan for us. You crushed our plans, and sent us to Italy instead. I'm not complaining, it was wonderful. But to arrange it in three weeks put me totally on edge. I wish my level of trust was at the level that I could just allow You to lead without planning in advance. But of course, I just can't. I can't fathom traveling without knowing where I'm going to spend the night. Some people actually do that. And I admire them. But that's just not me. I did allow You more control than I usually do, so I ended up making changes in the middle of the trip. And it was pretty awesome to discover the places that You took us to. Even getting lost, and encountering angels on our path was breathtaking.

This year, I made the decision to surrender all to You. But I'm beginning to get antsy because not much is happening. It's awesome to sit at your feet and just rest. But I feel that I should be planning something. I'm more of a Martha than a Mary. When I sit at your feet too long, I get restless. I need to know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I need to know where I will be three months from now. Of course, I know that the minute I begin to plan, You will interfere and change everything. So, what's the point?

In two weeks we will celebrate Easter. Show me what You want me to do for You during the Easter Season.

I surrender all to You.

I love You, Jesus!!!