Letters to Heaven: Pour my Love on You

"Let my love enfold You, oh Lord. Let me pour my love on You. Let me sit still in the light of your presence so I can love You with all my heart."

July 31, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today we were tourists in Miami. Three generations spending time together: my mom, Rafi, and me. We went to Bayside and we took a boat tour through the bay. We cruised through a few islands, and saw beautiful houses, like the ones owned by the Estefan's, Julio Iglesias and Shaquille O'Neal. We had lunch together and enjoyed our beautiful city. 

Alex finished summer camp today. He really enjoyed it. The only bad thing that happened was that his phone got stolen. Oh well, in the overall scheme of things, it's just a phone. But for a 14-year-old, it's important. He was pretty upset about it. I did not allow him to get a new phone because he needs to learn to be more careful. He's lost too many phones already. He needs to mature and be more responsible before I allow him to get a fancy phone. For the time being, I gave him an old phone. Physically, he's getting big. He's taller than me already. He's also Mr. Popular. He has a lot of friends, and is constantly going out. How did my little boy get so big so fast? Please, Jesus, keep him safe always.

Chabeli continues to work at UM. She's very happy with her life right now. She has a good group of friends, a nice boyfriend and she is enjoying this summer tremendously. She's happy so I'm happy.

Thank You, Jesus, for my three children. I cherish them with all my heart. Each one of them has made my life better. They have each brought a special ingredient. You poured your love on each of them when You created them.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 31, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I want to pour my love on You.

You have been so good to me all my life. You gave me parents that always loved me. They always cared for me. You also gave me the best grandparents. They took care of me when my parents had to work. They were by my side all the time.

You gave me a husband, partner, and best friend. He has been walking by my side for 36 years. I love him with all my heart and I thank You for him every day.

You gave me three treasures which I love more than life.

You gave me You. I would be nothing without You. I love You, Lord. Let my love enfold You, oh Lord. Let me pour my love on You. Let me sit still in the light of your presence so I can love You with all my heart.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: My Defining Moment

“No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. . . . Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” —Joshua 1:5, 9

July 21, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, spending a few minutes with You in the Blessed Sacrament. You know the depth of my heart. You know my fears and worries. Please calm my anxiety, calm my fears, calm my worries. Please let me feel your peace.

In mass today, the first reading was about the crossing of the Hebrews through the Red Sea. Father Michael talked about trusting You. If You made the waters of the Red Sea part to save the chosen people, how can I doubt that You will take care of the situation that is keeping me awake at night?

He also talked about baptism. He said that when we were baptized with the waters of baptism which have a connection with the waters of the Red Sea, we became your chosen people. And just like You saved the Hebrews, You will save us too. You will take care of us. We can trust You.

Father Michael also told us to recall a small miracle in our lives. He said to remember that moment when I knew that I would never be the same. The defining moment when You touched me and I knew there was no turning back. Please help me to remember that one moment because I can think of a few but not a specific one.

One moment that is clearly engraved in my mind is when I met You as a Friend and as a Brother in Encuentros Juveniles (Youth Encounters). It was there that I developed a more personal relationship with You. Through Encuentros, I met Rafael, and we began our sacramental marriage on June 29, 1984, with You at the center. The first big obstacle we encountered was when I couldn't get pregnant. It only took us 17 months, but those were the longest 17 months of my life. But through it all, You were working and preparing us for Rafi. I believe that was the first miracle, not losing Rafi when my body tried to reject him. And then, You showed off by allowing me to become pregnant just three months after Rafi was born with Chabeli. She's my second miracle. 

The next miracle happened when Rafi was diagnosed with encephalitis at the age of two. What a huge miracle You performed on my baby boy. That was definitely my defining moment. I knew then without a doubt that You were in control of my children. At that moment, I knew that I didn't have to fear anything because You loved my children so much that You would take care of them. Since then, You have been in charge of every situation and You have calmed my worries and fears.

On Christmas Eve 1994, You sent us another miracle, the gift of Alex, our Christmas baby. And You were with us when at just 17 days, he had to undergo surgery to repair his pyloric stenosis. And You are with us now as he goes through another trial in his young life. You are in charge. You are in control. I have nothing to fear because You are by our side. Your love, peace and strength will sustain us as we walk through the valley of fear. You lead the way. We are surrounded by your army of angels. 

Please, Jesus, take the wheel and remain in the boat with us as we cross yet another storm.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 30, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My defining moment when You touched me and I knew there was no turning back was definitely when You healed Rafi from the encephalitis. That was the miracle in our lives when I knew that I would never be the same. I knew at that moment that You were in charge, that You would take care of us if I placed my trust in You.

Thank You for always taking the wheel and remaining in the boat with us through every storm that we've ever had to face. Thank You for helping my children through every trial they've encounter in their young lives.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for Being in Control

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” —Isaiah 41:10

July 13, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Today Alex had a very important appointment in Connecticut. We knew that the enemy would place all types of obstacles in his path but You are more powerful than he is. The taxi was late to pick up Alex but he made it on time. Thank You!!!

I was trying to get to mass to pray for him and I also ran into all kinds of trouble to prevent me from getting there. First, I misplaced my phone. I didn't want to leave without it because I didn't want to miss Alex's phone call when he was out. I knew I had to put gas so I was trying to leave the house with plenty of time, but I wasted a few precious minutes searching for the phone. When I finally got to the gas station, the hose would not reach my gas tank. I pulled forward but there was a pickup truck in front of me so I had limited space. Then, the pump got stuck and it would not pour the gas. I could feel myself getting anxious. Finally, the pickup truck left, I pulled forward to the space he had vacated, I put gas and got to the church with five minutes to spare. Thank You, Jesus, for taking the wheel. Thank You for being in control.

During the mass, the readings were about the troubled times of the Hebrews when they were enslaved by the Egyptians. The priest told us that trouble is going to come into our lives but that You are with us. You will help us carry the cross. The main reading was about what happens when we choose to follow You. We will encounter resistance from the world, sometimes even from our own families. Choosing to follow You comes with a price. We have to carry the cross in order to follow You. But You will be with us until the end of times. You will not abandon us. I have no fear because You are in charge. You are in control.

Alex is now in his appointment. Please be with him. Please let him feel You. Please keep him safe.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 18, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Alex's appointment went very smoothly. Thank You for placing an angel in his path. When the going gets rough, You always find the right angels to help us out. And we are so very thankful.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 29, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for always being in control.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Walkers, Canes and Wheelchairs

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. —COLOSSIANS 3:15

July 28, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Vacation starts in five days. I can't wait. On Friday, Rafe and I will be flying to New York. We will be there on Saturday, and then on Sunday, we will drive to Connecticut to attend a baptism. On Monday, I will be on my own because Rafe has a business meeting. We fly back on Monday night, and then on Tuesday, we drive to Siesta Key. That is the part that I'm most looking forward to. Peace and relaxation for five days.

Those are the plans but of course, I have learned that many times I tell You my plans and You laugh because You have something else in mind. It's a bit frustrating every time I have to cancel travel plans but I have to trust that You are in charge. You know exactly what we need. I ask You to PLEASE, if it is your will, that You allow this vacation to happen. You know what a tough year we've had, so I beg You to PLEASE allow us to take this much needed break.

Last time I wrote to You, I forgot to mention my dad's 65th year reunion at Belen. As You know, he was not able to attend Alex's graduation because he was in the hospital. But Alex was able to attend his 65th year class reunion. I went too and it was very special to see him with some of his classmates. Many are already in heaven with You. It was a display of walkers, canes, wheelchairs... I joined the group with my broken knee which it's still in a brace. But in spite of their handicaps, they were all there celebrating their brotherhood. It made me realize that we made the right choice to send our boys to Belen. Sixty-five years have passed since my father graduated but he still carries in his heart the love for Belen, the pride of the education he received and the friendship with his old classmates. I hope that my sons one day realize the gift they were given and that they can cherish the Belen tradition for many years to come. I took a picture of my dad and my son. Sixty-five years apart but united by the same bond.

Tomorrow my dad will be having an ultrasound of his good leg. Everything is progressing well with the leg that had the bypass, but now the other leg has been bothering him. Please, Jesus, have mercy on him. I pray that if he has something on the other leg that it's benign and that it can be resolved with a simple procedure either before I leave or after I return. I leave him in your hands.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 28, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for clearing the way so we could enjoy that peaceful week back in 2013. It was a perfect vacation. We had a great time in New York and Connecticut, and a happy, relaxing time in Siesta Key. It was also bittersweet because it was our first vacation to Siesta Key without Rafi. It was also our last one because we have not returned.

On the day that we were leaving to New York, Chabeli found out that she passed her CPA exam with flying colors. I'm so proud of my girl. She's so smart and dedicated.

My dad's good leg had a small obstruction. Thank You, Jesus, that this time the doctors were able to resolve it with a peripheral angioplasty. He had to stay in the hospital a few days, but the obstruction was cleared and when You took him home, he left with both his legs. Thank You also because the procedure took place when I returned from Siesta Key.

My dad had to use walkers, canes and wheelchairs during his last three years here on earth, but thank You because he never lost his smile, his faith and his good spirits.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Please, No More Excitement in My Life

"Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening. Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My Face." Jesus Calling April 13

July 27, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Life got on the way and I have not written You in over a month. Three weeks ago, I was finally given the green light to start driving. Thank You, that was a blessing. I know that I have been a burden to Rafe and the kids. They had to take me everywhere: therapy, work, doctors' appointments, the rehab center so I could visit my dad... Even though I tried to cut down on all the extras, no beauty salon and no pleasure shopping, they still had to drive me around plenty. They also had to take on a lot of what I normally do: grocery shopping, running errands, etc. Finally, I have been able to resume my responsibilities and give them a break.

Right on time because the day after I resumed driving, Chabeli had a tonsillectomy. Thank You Jesus that everything went well. There were no complications. The recovery has been the most difficult part. She has been in a lot of pain, especially the first week. The pain medications helped a bit but the effect would start to wear off after two hours and she could only take them every four hours. It was hard for her to swallow and when she slept, it was even worst. She would wake up with her mouth completely dry which made the pain even more unbearable. It took ten days for the pain to finally subside. Last weekend she finally had her first taste of solid food. She ate a piece of Cuban toast by dipping it in cafe con leche. Thank You, Jesus, for holding her hand through this process. Please finish healing her fully. It still hurts when she yawns and her voice still sounds as if she swallowed a frog.

The day after her surgery, we had some more excitement in our lives. The electrical pole in our backyard exploded various times until it caught fire. I was afraid that our palm trees would catch fire too. We called the firemen and FPL. We were without power for five hours, and it was only for that amount of time because I told FPL that my daughter had just had surgery and we couldn't be here without power. So they came and gave us a temporary line. It took almost a week for them to come out for the permanent repairs.

And the crown of the excitement belongs to Alex, again. Four days ago, the phone rang. I answered and this is what I heard: "This is a Miami-Dade police officer. I'm here with your son Alex. Don't worry, he's alive. I pulled him over because he was driving recklessly. I need you to come over. I'll wait five minutes." My heart was pounding inside my chest. Alex had just left the house. I went over with Rafe. As soon as we left our neighborhood, we could see the blue police lights in the distance. There were two cops. One was in plain clothes in an unmarked car. He was the one that called me. He said that Alex was going at 65 miles per hour down 87th avenue, and that he was zig zagging from lane to lane. When he cut in front of him, he stopped him.

Thank You, Jesus, for looking out for my Alex. He could have gotten into an accident and the phone call that I received could have been quite different. But You protected him and placed a very nice police officer on his tail, as soon as he left the house.

Needless to say, Rafael was furious. Alex had already been punished because of the egging incident earlier this summer. Originally, he was punished the entire summer, but then we reduced it only til the end of June. I guess that was a mistake because obviously, he didn't learn the lesson. Now he's punished til he leaves for college in August, and this time, there will be no mercy. He cried a lot that night, which was good because Alex never cries. He always bottles up everything inside. I know he was crying because it's his last summer before he goes away to college and now all his plans are ruined. But I told him that he had to look at it from a different angle. I said: "Alex, that police officer may have saved your life. If he had not stopped you and you had continued driving the way you were driving, you could have gotten into an accident. What if you had lost your life? Then it would have truly been your last summer. Yes, you are grounded, but you will have more summers. You are alive. You are still going to see your friends at camp because the grounding doesn't include your job. You are still going to go with us to Siesta Key. I know that at this moment, you are looking at it from the point of view that you got caught. But one day, you are going to be thankful that you got caught. The police officer could have given you a ticket and washed his hands. But he took the trouble to call us. That shows that he is a man who cares. And that also shows me that you have an angel looking out for you." He didn't respond but I know that he listened. Last night there was a party, this afternoon there's a pool party going on and tonight there is another party. He will miss them all, but is better to miss out on a few parties than to miss out on the rest of his life.

I know, Jesus, that he is still too young to understand, but I thank You from the bottom of my heart because I know that on July 23rd, You saved Alex's life. Every day, I entrust my children to You, because I know that You love them even more than I do. You have the tools to take care of them, better than I ever could. I'm crying as I write this, but You know they are tears of joy because I feel so blessed. Thank You, Jesus, for always looking out for my babies and for always sending angels to protect them. But please, Jesus, don't send me any more excitement. I need peace and tranquility. My heart can't take it anymore.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 27, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for giving me the most peaceful summer I've had in a decade. I don't like excitement anymore. I'm grateful for boring days when nothing happens. I'm "thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening."

I love You, Jesus!!! 

Letters to Heaven: My Landing Pad

"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings." 

Ann Landers

July 26, 2007

Dear Mama Mary:

Today is your parents' feast day. What wonderful parents You must have that produced a woman like You. They are an inspiration for all struggling parents around the world. You and Joseph are an inspiration too, a role model to follow. Being parents is not an easy job and no one teaches us how to do it. We learn on the go. But with You as role model, all we need to do is ask ourselves, "what would Mary have done in this situation?" Or "how would Joseph have reacted if faced with this problem?"

Rafe and I want the same basic things for our children (happiness, success, education...) but we are very different in our parenting techniques. Rafe is much more strict, more authoritarian and he expects a lot from them. I'm more soft. I let them get away with more, which is not always so good. Rafe claims that I'm a "helicopter parent" but to a certain degree, he is too. Poor kids. They have become a landing pad.

Mama Mary, thank You for listening to me. Thank You for guiding me and for serving as a role model to teach me how to be a good mother.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

July 26, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

Today is grandparents' day. It's the day that we celebrate your parents, Jesus' grandparents. We don't know much about them as they are not mentioned in the Bible. But we know that they were very patient while they waited for many years to conceive a child. God gave them the gift of You.

Mama Mary, thank You for protecting my children from heaven. Yes, I have been a "helicopter parent." More of a blimp, since I just hover over them while a helicopter actually moves. I'm constantly checking "Find my Friends" to locate them, to make sure they are fine. I need to relax. I need to learn from You. I'm sure You worried about Jesus but You took a back seat so He could become the Messiah. If You had constantly interfered, You would not have allowed Him to fulfill God's mission for Him.

Please teach me to trust and allow God to protect them. Show me how to relax and get out of the way. I need to give God the space that He needs to guide my children in the path that He has set out for them. I need to stop being a helicopter or a blimp. They are not mine. They are not my landing pad. They belong to God. I need to let go and let God.

St. Anne and St. Joachim, pray for us and for our children.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

Letters to Heaven: Summer Blessings

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
 and his courts with praise.
 Give thanks to him, bless his name. For the Lord is good;
 his steadfast love endures forever,
 and his faithfulness to all generations." 
Psalm 100:4-5

July 25, 2012

Dear Jesus:

Lately, I have been very lazy with my writing. It's been two months since I last picked up this journal. We are one month into the summer and it's been quite a busy one, but also a very blessed one.

Alex managed to finish his Junior year with one A and the rest Bs. His schedule for next year is going to be pretty tough with three AP classes, three Honor classes and Peer Ministry. I pray to You that he gets his act together since the beginning so he can get accepted into a good university. This summer, he went to the Dominican Republic on a Belen Youth Mission trip. He really enjoyed working with the "campesinos" and helping build a bridge so they have better access to the services they need. Now he is volunteering at South Miami Hospital. This summer has been a big improvement from the previous one. Thank You, Jesus, for the gift of Alex. He is an extraordinary boy with a great personality. He is witty, and he always has a funny remark for everything. Help him to grow into the young man that You want him to become. And help me to be the mom that he needs. Please protect Alex in everything he does and always surround him with the right friends.

Chabeli got accepted into both UM and Fordham for her MBA. Fordham gave her a very generous scholarship. I'm so proud of her. Last week, I went with her to New York and we spent two days visiting different neighborhoods and checking out apartments. She also attended an open house that the university was hosting. It was a tough two days because New York was having a heat wave and the temperature was 105 degrees. It was very uncomfortable to be walking, taking the subway and going to visit the most horrendous apartments that I have ever seen. They were all tiny, cramped, ugly and dirty. None of the buildings had elevators, laundry or security. And the rent for those dumps was $2,400 a month minimum. It was horrible. I felt really bad for Chabeli because she really wanted to move to New York, but in the end, after we sat down and compared the pros and cons for both universities, she ended up choosing UM. One of the big deciding factors is that UM has a 1-year MBA program, so even with the scholarship that Fordham offered her, she's saving a chunk of money and she will finish much faster. I'm glad she made the decision on her own because it really wasn't worth it for her to move to New York, to live in a tiny apartment with no comforts, and then end up with a huge student loan. If she still wants to live in New York, she can move there after graduation. Deloitte has already made her an offer and they have offices everywhere. Please protect my girl as she journeys through life and finds her place in the world. And when her heart is ready to love again, please cross her path with a good, honest, hard-working young man. I know that You have a truly special man saved just for her and she will meet him when the time is right.

My Rafi graduated from Princeton "magna cum laude." I am so proud of him. After all the tears, after all the struggles, after all the health issues, and after all the agony of his years in college which were a rollercoaster ride from start to finish, Rafi graduated and we are bursting with joy and happiness. My parents went with us, and they had the joy of seeing their grandson graduate from an Ivy League. This was the culmination of all the sacrifices they made when they left Cuba with nothing in their pockets.

The graduation activities were like a marathon.The first activity was the 4-hour P-Rade where all the alumni parade by year. The oldest alumni from the class of 1925, a 105-year-old gentleman, opened the parade. Four hours later, the class of 2012 made its way into the stadium. The following day was the Baccalaureate which was held inside the Princeton Chapel. Afterwards we went to an early dinner, and at night, the graduates serenaded us on the steps of one of the university halls. That turned out to be one of my favorite activities. It was a full moon evening, and they sang us their favorite songs: "We are Young," "Sweet Caroline," etc. It was very emotional.

The next day was Class Day and it was storming. Nonetheless, the smart Princetonians decided to have the activity outside. They gave us raincoats but it got so cold that my poor dad was shivering. I had to take them indoors and they missed the entire event. The guest speaker was Steve Carell. He was very funny. By the end, we were soaked from head to toe, and our feet were full of mud. But we made the best of it. The university provided us with box lunches, and then we went to the department award presentations. During the evening, they had a prom for the whole family. We took pictures and celebrated the joyous occasion with music and food.

And finally, it was Graduation Day. Thank You, Jesus, for the sunshine (pun intended). It was a beautiful ceremony. We were so proud of our Rafi. Afterwards we walked to his residential college for the last reception and to pick up his diploma. All in all, it was a beautiful experience and now I have all the pictures to savor for years to come.

Right now, Rafi is traveling through Europe with Emily. Once they return, they will go to California apartment hunting. They both start working for Facebook on the day Rafi turns 24 years-old. Please take care of both of them, Jesus, as they travel and as they start a new life on the West Coast. Please, continue to keep Rafi healthy and help him find a good doctor in California that can monitor his treatment.

Jesus, thank You for entrusting each of our children to us and for choosing us to be their parents.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 25, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Once again, Rafi and Emily are traveling through Europe. Those two are made for each other. They love to travel, especially to Europe. Thank You for always looking out for them. Thank You for the amazing two and a half years that they spent in California. Thank You for a smooth transition to New York. And thank You for keeping Rafi healthy through it all.

Chabeli continues to work for Deloitte but she never moved to New York. She's truly a Miami girl, even though she's talking about possibly transferring to a different city in the future. Thank You for always taking care of my girl, and thank You for placing Daniel in her path. They are about to celebrate three years together and I see her happy, content, and at peace.

And Alex continues to grow and mature into the young man that You want him to become. He had a few more growing pains in the last four years, but this past year I have finally noticed some positive changes. I pray that You continue to protect him. I pray that you allow him to have a smooth end to his four years in college. I pray that You choose the right company to offer him a job after graduation. And I pray that if his vocation is marriage, that You pick the right girl for him. Even though I still don't know who she is, I pray for her as well. May she share Alex's values and dreams so that together they can always walk in the direction that will lead them to You.

Jesus, thank You for entrusting each of our children to us and for choosing us to be their parents.

I love You, Jesus!!!