Letters to Heaven during Lent: You always Know Best

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” 
              —JOHN 14:1

Week 4: April 5, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Tomorrow, Alex is going on retreat. Perfect timing since we are right in the middle of Lent. I want to pray for him, Jesus. Help him to open up his heart. I've been a bit worried about him lately. I tried to talk to him and he told me that the reason he has not been going out is because at the parties there's a lot of drugs and alcohol, and he doesn't want to deal with that. If that is the reason, then I'm very proud of him for taking such a mature stand at sixteen. 

However, I'm still concerned. He could go to the movies or other type of outings. I am sure that there's more than just the parties taking place on the weekends. Yet, he's been staying home every single Saturday for at least three or four months. It is not normal and I need your guidance. 

I pray that this retreat helps him. Whatever is going on, I pray that it comes out to the light. Help him to be truthful to You, to us, and to himself. The group that is going is awesome. Most of his close friends will be there. Please help him to rekindle those friendships. If there is something that is bothering him, help him to open up. Please Jesus, help him get close to You, to be happy, and please, fix whatever is wrong. A mother knows when something is not quite right. 

On a different note, Rafi got an offer from Microsoft. He seems to like this company more than Bloomberg. But he doesn't want to make his final decision until he hears back from Google. I left this in your hands so I trust You fully. But, Seattle? Couldn't You find him something a little closer?

Oh well, the world fits in the palm of your hand so what for me seems a long distance, for You it 's just a walk in the park. 

Protect my family during this Lent and always. 

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 4: March 28, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I never found out what was going on with Alex. But whatever it was, You fixed it. I never worried again on the social department. If anything, he went from one extreme to the other. He's a social butterfly. And I saw the proof this last spring break. Our house had a revolving door. Between the Miami and the Connecticut friends, it was non-stop. As he approaches his college graduation, continue to surround him with good friends. And help him to make always the right decisions, the ones that are aligned with your will.

Rafi ended up choosing Microsoft for his summer internship. And we got to spend a wonderful summer vacation driving up the Pacific coast from San Francisco to Seattle with Alex. There, we met up with Rafi and Chabeli, and we drove to the Olympic National Park. It was one of the last vacations we got to spend the five of us by ourselves, and I cherish the memories and the pictures.

You always know best. And that's why, I should always trust You. Worrying is so pointless when You are in control. So I keep walking on this Lenten journey, and attempting to leave worrying behind.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: On My Knees

"Pray continually."
     —1 THESSALONIANS 5:17

Week 4: April 4, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Rafi, Rafi, Rafi!!!

He's in Seattle for his Microsoft interview. He left without money, with an overdrawn bank account, and without pants. He just took his suit and a pair of jeans for a business dinner and an interview. What am I going to do with this boy of mine, Jesus? Is he ever going to get his act together?

He landed fine. He took a taxi but didn't have enough cash to pay for it. His credit card was not working so he calls me so I could give him my credit card number. Then he calls me from the hotel because he also needs a credit card for incidentals. Luckily, I had an extra debit card for his bank account so at the wee hours of the night, I rushed to the bank to deposit cash into his checking account.

While I was doing this, Rafael was on the phone with him going over his wardrobe. He had planned to go to the business dinner in JEANS. So much for all the money we spent in etiquette classes when he was younger. Rafael told him to wear the suit pants, and to be extra careful not to stain them because he will need them tomorrow for the interview. At least he took more than one shirt.

He's off to the dinner now. Thank You for helping us resolve another crisis. I feel that this Lent has been weaved together by a series of crisis but You always guide me to make the right decisions. Please Jesus, guide Rafi also in making the right decision for his future. He has an offer already on the table from Bloomberg in New York. He also made it to the next round of interviews with Google. And tomorrow he has the official interview with Microsoft. Please guide him towards the company that will be the best fit for him.

Jesus, I know that You have your hands full, but please, take care and protect this boy that we both love, and who always keeps us on our toes.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 4: March 26, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I had to laugh when I went back and read about Rafi's trip to Seattle. I had forgotten about that "little" incident. He has really kept us on our toes through the years. He still does but he has come a long way. Thank You for always guiding him towards making the right decisions. Thank You for always guiding Chabeli and Alex too. I used to worry so much about their future. If only I had trusted You more and worried less, I would have been able to rest in your peace. I would have avoided so many sleepless nights. I need to remember this when I worry about Alex's future. He also keeps me on my toes. But I trust that You also have a great plan for him, and He will end up exactly where You want him to be.

Today, as we celebrate this 4th Sunday of Lent, I promise to spend less time on my toes and more time on my knees.

I love You, Jesus!!!

LTH during Lent: This Year, I Gave Up Worrying... What Was I Thinking?

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
—Deuteronomy 31:6

Week 4: March 24, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for the opportunity that You have given me to walk the 48 steps to Easter. I'm a little worried, though. There's just 18 steps left, but the past 2 have been full of obstacles. Every time I get closer to You, things get in the way to try to keep me apart from You. It happened when I led the Emmaus. It's happening now. And I fear the enemy.

I trust You, though, because You are stronger than he is and goodness always prevails. I pray that You lead me, that You use me as your instrument. What You have entrusted me with is a big responsibility. A lot of women are doing this walk with me and I cannot let them down.

Please protect me from all evil and from all the temptations that the enemy is sure to place in my path. Help me not to fall and help me to remember that it's your message what I need to spread, not mine.

29 steps and counting. May tomorrow be a smooth day.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 4: March 25, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's happening again. I knew it was too good to be true. The first two weeks of Lent were as smooth as silk. And then, the attacks began. I have learned to differentiate between obstacles and attacks. The past week, we have definitely been under attack.

First, my computer crashed and I was not able to work for two days. At any time of the year, this would have been inconsequential. But during tax season, complete chaos. In the midst of that, major plumbing issues at home. At least, since I couldn't work anyway, I was able to deal with that. On the same day of the crash, I took Penny to the vet for her shots. And while at the vet, she started bleeding from her gums. The next day, she had a huge blood clot. This was the same day the toilets backed up with a house full of spring-breakers. Plumbers came. I took Penny to the vet. And to make a long story short, she ended up having oral surgery and getting five molars taken out. And since she's such a drama queen, I've had quite the week.

On Sunday, we had to take Alex to the airport. His flight was scheduled for 10:45 am from Ft. Lauderdale. When he woke up at 8, he checked and his flight had been delayed until 12:30. Perfect, we have time to go to breakfast. We went to "The Muffin Tin" in Pinecrest and had a delicious breakfast, until 9:30 when Alex got another e-mail stating that his flight was reset back to 10:45. We flew out of the restaurant, drove like maniacs to the house to pick up his bookbag, rushed to Ft. Lauderdale to arrive there at an estimated "Waze" time of 10:30 which meant he had 15 minutes to get through security and run to his gate. But the entire time, I was praying to You for peace and tranquility. Worst case scenario, he would miss Monday classes and leave the next day. Of course, in the rush, he forgot his contact lenses and his hoodie. No big deal. He could buy a sweater at the airport in Connecticut and I would ship his contacts. While on the Palmetto, he gets yet another e-mail. Flight is now at 12:15. By this time, the delicious breakfast was stuck on our throats, and our blood pressure was through the roof, but we breathed a sigh of relief that he was not going to miss his flight after all.

We dropped him off at 10:30 because Waze is amazingly accurate. Packed airport. No way he would have made it through security in 15 minutes but this was not a worry anymore. We dropped him off, and decided to go to mass at 11 am at Little Flower in Hollywood. It's 10:45 and Alex calls me, "Mom, are my keys on the backseat of the car?" I look back, and sure enough, his keys are there... The keys to his house but most importantly, to his car parked at the airport in Connecticut. He gets out of the security line, we make a U-turn, return to the airport, hand him the keys, and head back to Miami to go to 12:30 mass at our parish. The only good thing was that I was too stressed out to shed my usual separation-tears.

But wait, I'm not done yet, there's more. The icing on the cake. My poor hubby's back that has been pain-free for over five years, started hurting him to the point that he couldn't even go to mass. Apparently, the drive back and forth to Ft. Lauderdale under stress, did a number on him. And of course, he blames me for writing about his back on my blog a few weeks ago. He says I cursed him. As if I had that much power. But I know the enemy does. However, I do not fear him, because You have more power, Jesus. So please, heal my hubby. He has a massage scheduled later today. And because I'm such a good wife, I've volunteered to accompany him and get a massage as well. Trust me, I need it too.

Please, Jesus, cover us with your protection because we are still three weeks away from Easter and I don't think I can handle another week like the one I just had. I know that with your help, we won't allow the enemy to get the upper hand. You have defeated him already and You are walking with us, every step of the way.

So much for giving up worrying for Lent, Jesus. What was I thinking? This past week, I failed miserably. Next year, I think I'm just giving up chocolate. It's so much easier. But then again, You don't want us to take the easy route. You want us to take up our crosses and follow You. And You promise to send angels to help us along the way.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: I Forgive You

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” —LUKE 6:37

Week 3: March 5, 2013

Dear Jesus:

We are smack in the middle of Lent and I just went to confession. St. Louis is having its parish mission this week and I was able to go. Before the confession, the speaker gave us a short talk about forgiveness. There was beautiful music and singing in the background.

Thank You for giving us this wonderful sacrament. It's so liberating. I usually go to confession once a year, but this year, I'm going to try to change that to once a month. The deacon told us not to hold anything back. I tried but once I began to talk, I forgot half of the sins that I wanted to confess. However, the priest told me that God knows me better than I know myself. He is right. You know me very well, and even if I forgot to mention some of my sins outloud, You know what they are and You have forgiven me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"When all you see is your pain you lose sight of me." 
                                                         —from the movie "The Shack"

March 20, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today, I went to see the movie, "The Shack." I had already read the book, and for the first time, I actually liked the movie more than the book. I say for the first time because every time I read a book and then watch the movie, I find the movie lacking. I always prefer the book. But not this time. They really did a good job with the movie in emphasizing the spiritual aspect.

One of the main themes of the movie is "forgiveness." We don't realize it but when we choose not to forgive, when we choose to carry the burden of not forgiving someone that has hurt us, all we are doing is multiplying that pain and in the process, we lose sight of You. Sometimes we confuse forgiveness with forgetting. Of course, we are not going to forget, but we can choose to forgive. Forgiveness, like love, it's a choice we make every day. And the more we say "I forgive you," the lighter and better we will feel.

Lent is a great time to make that choice. And sometimes, we even need to make amends with You. Many times, when something bad happens, we blame You. I have been angry at You many times. Why did you allow this illness? Why couldn't you prevent the accident? Why? Why? Why?

This Lent, I choose to forgive You for all the times that I have felt that You have let me down. And I choose to forgive all the people that in my mind have hurt me. Many times, my mind is my worst enemy. And who am I to judge? What I perceive as wrong may be a complete misunderstanding.

We are halfway through Lent and I'm yet to go to confession. It's time to stop making excuses, and separate an hour to let go of all my burdens.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: On the Palm of Your Hand

"Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you." Isaiah 49: 15-16

Week 2: March 22, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Rafi left on Saturday. His friends left on Friday. The house is back in shape, all organized, but soooo quiet. I miss him so much. I wonder if it will ever get easier. Every time I drop him off at the airport, I return with a knot in my throat. This time, as I was driving home, tears were streaming down my face.

I guess like the reading from Isaiah says, I could never forget my babies because they are a part of me. It's the same with You. You will never forget me. You have written my name on the palm of your hand.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 2: March 15, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I have been following a giraffe named April for three weeks now. Her video popped up on my Facebook news feed and I got hooked. She's about to deliver a baby calf any day now, and I have been watching through a live video cam installed in her stall. I even joined a group called "Giraffe-Aholic Anonymous," that promises to send out notifications as soon as hoofs appear (the first sign that the calf is coming out). I must be out of my mind, but I'm not the only one, there are thousands of people watching and waiting to witness the impending birth.

We are all moved by the tender bond between a mother and child. I think that's the reason why April has become the most popular pregnant mother since Princess Kate of England was expecting Prince George. We all want to be the first to witness that love between mother and the calf she's been carrying on her womb for fifteen months.

I know that on Sunday, when I drop off Alex at the airport, I will return with a knot in my throat. It's inevitable. I don't fight it any more. Our job as parents is to teach them to fly and then allow them to leave the nest and fly on their own. But it's so hard because the bond between mother and child is unbreakable. Saying good-bye never gets easier.

I also know that the bond between You and us is also unbreakable. You have written our names on the palm of your hand. And You walk with us wherever we go. That's what makes it easier to let go of my babies. You carry them on the palm of your hand.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Guide me

"He humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:8

Week 2: February 25, 2010

Dear Jesus:

By choosing the humiliation of the cross in reparation for pride, You taught us obedience. You spread out your arms for us and you are calling us to follow You. There is nothing we can't face that You haven't faced already. It's time to push our pride aside, take up our crosses, and obediently follow You wherever You want to lead us. It is in our weakness that You can make us strong.

I love You, Jesus. I'm sorry that You had to endure the humiliation of the cross for me. I'm sorry when I allow pride to blind me. Today, I humble myself in front of You. I will try to obey You. Lead me where You want me to go. Guide me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Week 2: March 14, 2017

Dear Jesus:

The movie "The Passion" has always been very tough for me to watch. I saw it twice in the movies when it first came out, then I bought the DVD, and I have never been able to watch it again. Now, I'm doing a study on the movie so every week, I get to watch about twenty minutes. Watching it in small doses makes it a little bit easier, but I'm dreading this week because I'm pretty sure the next part of the movie will include the scourging at the pillar, one of the scenes that I recall being very difficult to watch.

Seeing Mama Mary by your side the entire time really touched me. She was first and foremost, your Mother. The pain that she had to endure by watching You suffer affected me tremendously. And to think that You went through it for us. The only thing I can compare that love to is the love that I feel for my own children. I guess that's the same kind of love that You feel for us. Probably, even bigger. And every time we sin, we nail You to the cross.

I'm sorry Jesus for all the times that I have failed to love You. I'm sorry for all the times that I have failed to do your will. I'm sorry Mama Mary that you also had to suffer so much because of me. Please forgive me.

Jesus, lead me in the path that I must follow. Guide my steps in the direction that will one day unite me to You. Walk beside me and take my hand. Jesus, guide me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Let It Be Your Will And Not Mine

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done." Luke 22:42

Second Week of Lent: March 17, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Three days in a row... Can't complaint. I've been giving You a lot of my time. 

Tonight, we went to have dinner with Rafi, Chabeli and Rafi's friends from Princeton who have been staying at our house for spring break. It's nice to be surrounded by college kids. I love talking to them. I love listening to their opinions.

While we were having dinner, Rafi received an e-mail from Google letting him know that he was moving onto the next stage of the interview process. I'm happy for him but once again, Jesus, I leave this in your hands. If Google is the right company for him, open the doors. If it is not, close them. He has also applied to Microsoft and Facebook. Lead him where he will do the best and be the happiest.

During this Lent, You are teaching me to "let it be your will and not mine." This is helping me to be more relaxed and to have less anxiety.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Second Week of Lent: March 12, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Six years later. Another spring break. This year it's Alex who is here surrounded by friends both from Miami and Connecticut. And I love it. I love to have a full house. Yesterday, he joined us with five friends from UConn and four friends from Belen. Today, he met up with other UConn friends and towards the end of the week, others will be staying at our house. This is officially our last college spring break. I'm relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved because the sleepless nights are coming to an end (or so I hope). Sad because my youngest is becoming an adult too fast.

One thing that I have not been able to overcome in six years is my anxiety. That is why during this Lent, I decided to give up worrying. And honestly, You are helping me to relax. On Friday night (or Saturday morning), Alex got home at 3 am. He sent me a text to let me know that he was home. I didn't even hear it or see it til I woke up at 8 am. Six years ago that would have seemed impossible. So I have come a long way but I still have a long way to go.

Just like Rafi six years ago, Alex is applying for a summer internship. Rafi did not receive an offer from Google but he ended up getting a very productive internship with Microsoft. Alex has only had one interview with Wells Fargo and he did not get an offer. I know that just like You did for his siblings, You will open up the door to the right company. Please, help me to trust You because I know that You have a plan for him. Teach me not to interfere with your plan. Let it be your will and not mine.

And help me to have a worry-free night since Alex is heading to South Beach tonight.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Show me how to be Simon

"Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

Second Week of Lent: March 16, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, once again. Two days in a row, that's quite a record for me, especially at this time of the year. You have been reaching out to me and I have turned my back on You. I'm sorry Jesus.

Please help my heart to soften and to be merciful towards those that are going through a difficult time right now. If it is in my power to extend a hand, help me to be less selfish. They are carrying a cross and just like Simon of Cyrene helped You carry your cross, You are asking me to be Simon for them. I'm sorry for the times that I have refused.

Today I want to share with You that I'm concerned about my hubby. He has been a bit under the weather lately. He has been having a lot of pain on his lower back. Apparently, he has a disk that is degenerated, whatever that means. He went to the doctor and now he has to do therapy three times a week. Please take care of my "viejito." Keep him healthy and with me for many years to come.

Thank You for placing my hubby in my path. And help me to be alert to those in need that You are also placing in my path. Show me how to be Simon for them. Help me not to turn my back on them because by doing so, I'm also turning my back on You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Second Week of Lent: March 11, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Two days in a row this year too. Thank You for helping me make time for You in the midst of my busy-ness.

First of all I want to thank You for healing my "viejito." After weeks of therapy, massages and adjustments, he has been pain free for a few years now. Please continue to keep him healthy because You know how much I need him. Thank You for crossing our paths almost 37 years ago.

Second, thank You for showing me where You needed me the most. But once in a while, I still refuse to be Simon. I am constantly encountering people in need on my path and sometimes, I just look the other way. Please continue to be patient with me. Don't give up on me. I will try to be more alert to the needs around me. Sometimes those in need are right next to me and I become so blind. Please open my eyes and move my heart with compassion. Help me not to turn my back on them because by doing so, I'm also turning my back on You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Thank You, Jesus

What most attracts God’s grace is gratitude, because if we thank him for a gift, he is touched and hastens to give us ten more. And if we thank him again with the same enthusiasm, what an incalculable multiplication of graces! I have experienced this; try it yourself and you will see! My gratitude for everything he gives me is limitless, and I prove it to him in a thousand ways.
                                                                       St. Thérèse of Lisieux 

Second Week of Lent: March 10, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I have been doing this journey to Easter and I have been sharing it with my friends and sisters in Christ. Today, I was having second thoughts. Why am I doing this? Is this really helping anyone? Most women are not sharing on the website so I'm not getting feedback if they are benefiting at all from this journey. But today, when I got home, I had a "Thank You" card in the mailbox from my friend Lourdes. In the card, she wrote: "Just a small note to thank you for taking the time to do the Easter journey. Your daily words are inspirational... You are doing a great job. May God continue to bless you as you spread His word." This was a confirmation that I'm on the right path.

Personally, the journey is very rewarding. I feel that my preparation during this Lent is deeper than it has been in the past. The walks with You and my hubby in the mornings are also helping me tremendously. We talk about the daily readings and the bouncing back and forth of ideas is great. I can feel your presence with us every day. This is being reflected in our relationship.

Thank You, Jesus, for walking this journey with us.

I love You Jesus!!!

Second Week of Lent: March 10, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Those Easter journeys were truly amazing. You were really walking with me because You knew that my world was about to be turned upside down. If I had not been as close to You as I was, I would not have survived the earthquake that was about to hit our family.

Today, I can look at life from a different prism. And as I walk on a new Easter journey, I feel closer to You than I've ever been. Thank You for giving your life for us. Thank You for enduring the cross for us. Thank You for loving us so much that You carried all our sins in order to save us. Thank You for never giving up on us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Let's Shake Things Up

"No matter how busy your are in life, with some greater awareness and new perspectives you can consciously pray, fast, and give of yourself this Lent—and you will be ready to celebrate when a joyful dawn breaks upon you Easter morning." Loyola Press

First Week of Lent: March 15, 2011

Dear Jesus:

We are one week into Lent. What have I done to get closer to You? Well, I am reading three different books: "Five Minutes with the Word," "The Magnificat Lenten Companion," and "The Little Black Book." And yet, I feel like I'm not doing enough. 

I gave up the mini cupcakes that I like so much but I haven't even been tempted with them. We haven't been walking so my prayers have been poor and scarce. I think I need to shake things up to get into the Lenten mood. 

Please Jesus, wake me up from my slumber. Help me to get closer to You so that on Easter Sunday I can experience your Resurrection in all its majesty. 

I love You, Jesus!!!

First Week of Lent: March 8, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I always feel that during Lent I have to do huge sacrifices, pray around the clock and give away half my savings in order to get closer to You. But I get the feeling that I'm getting it all wrong. This morning, I read an article in Loyola Press titled "How to Find Time in the Day for Lent."

Basically, it talks about weaving Lenten activities as part of our busy lives rather than adding more to our already hectic schedules. This makes a lot of sense. I've always disliked Lent because it stretches my time to the point of breaking. Lent always comes around during tax season, my busiest time of the year. It's hard to find time for extra activities when I'm at the office ten hours straight. The last thing I have the energy for when I get out of work at 7 pm is to go to church for a Lenten mission. But instead, I can shake things up by weaving extra praying time into my busy day, by saying a little prayer for the client that lost a job, for the co-worker that did me a favor or for clarity of mind when the numbers refuse to balance.

I can also shake things up by giving in a different way. I can give encouragement to a client that was expecting a refund and owes money instead. I can give a smile to someone I encounter on the hallway. I can give my love to my family by showing them in specific acts of kindness how much I care for them.

And instead of giving up things or food, I can shake things up by fasting from gossiping, by releasing my worries to You and by giving up a negative attitude.

So this Lent, I'm doing things a little different than I'm used to. I'm shaking things up and I'm liking Lent a whole lot more. And I know that on Easter Sunday I will celebrate your Resurrection with a huge smile, not only because tax season will be over but because I will have gotten a lot closer to You..

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Teach me Your Way

First Week of Lent: February 28, 2009

"Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth." Psalm 86:11

Dear Jesus:

I have heard your call and I have answered You. Here I am, a sinner, and You have asked me to be an instrument to spread your message. Are You sure that You made the right choice? I feel so unworthy. And yet, You formed me and You know me. I am part of your creation so in your eyes, I am perfect in spite of my imperfections.

In today's reading, the Pharisees are questioning why would You eat and drink with sinners. I love your answer: "Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do. I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners."

I now understand why You called me. I am a sinner and You want me to repent. You want to teach me your way so I can walk in the truth.

Thank You for choosing me, Lord. I will not let You down.

I love You, Jesus!!!

First Week of Lent: March 7, 2017

Dear Jesus:

You keep calling me. Thank You for not giving up on me. I am still learning but I still want to walk in Your truth. Keep on teaching me your way. And I will keep trying not to let You down.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: You Shall Not

First Week of Lent: February 11, 2008

"You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; and you shall not lie to one another. And you shall not swear falsely by my name, profaning the name of your God: I am the Lord." Lev 19:11-12

Dear Jesus:

Today's meditation from Leviticus was about the Ten Commandments. A good opportunity for a deep examination of conscience. This Lent I want to do a good confession and I don't want to wait until Good Friday.

1. You shall not steal. This covers everything from a huge bank robbery to taking paper clips from the employer. I used to think that the latter was not really a sin, until I married my very honest hubby that won't take a penny from anyone. The other day, without noticing, he left Norman Brothers without paying for the croissants. He realized it when he got home and he actually returned to apologize and pay. I probably wouldn't have returned and therefore, that would have been a sin. So what have I stolen?

2. You shall not lie or speak falsely to one another. This is a difficult one and it goes hand in hand with stealing. I'm an expert at saying "white lies" but the bottom line is that they are "lies" nonetheless. I also have a tendency to exaggerate which is also a type of lying. Therefore, with that said, what lies have I said lately?

3. You shall not swear falsely by my name, thus profaning the name of your God. This is one that I try really hard not to do because I totally dislike it when I hear someone swearing. I feel that when someone feels the need to swear is because they tend to lie, and they need to reinforce the truth by swearing. Have I let You down lately by profaning your name?

4. I am the Lord your God, you shall not have strange gods before me. I need to love You above all things. Many times I create "strange" gods: money, possessions, work, traveling, television, shopping, my family... All the things or people that I place before You can become an "strange" god. What are my "strange" gods?

5. Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day. I used to think that missing mass on Sunday was not a sin. But now I know better so I try to give You that one hour every Sunday. It's the Holy Days of Obligation that get me sometimes, especially the odd ones like the feast of the Ascension in August and the Immaculate Conception on December 8th. How many times have I missed mass lately because there was something that I considered more important or simply because I was lazy?

6. Honor your father and your mother. I'm not very good with this one. I try to be a good daughter but I probably could be better. I rarely take the time to visit my parents because I have gotten used to the fact that they visit me. What can I do to make my parents' life easier?

7. You shall not kill. Well, here's one that I have never done, unless You hold against me that duck that I killed when it flew in front of my car. But there is more to this commandment. To kill means to destroy and I can destroy a person by destroying their honor, their reputation or their name. If I gossip, I am killing that person without them even knowing it. Whom have I killed lately by gossiping about them?

8. You shall not commit adultery. Even though I have always been faithful to my marriage vows, there are many ways to commit adultery: by watching or reading pornography, by contributing to pornography if I buy a book or pay for a movie that has sexual innuendos, by dressing in a way that could cause someone to commit adultery... What have I done lately that could be considered adulterous?

9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife or husband. These last two go hand in hand. As a matter of fact, I thought they were one and the same, which opened up a friendly discussion with Alex. He convinced me they were different by showing me his Theology book. Anyway, even though I don't covet anyone's husband, just like with many other commandments, there is more to this than meets the eye. Coveting someone's wife or husband means also to covet their happiness. Have I ever wished that my marriage or my family was like someone else's?

10. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods. Envy is a really bad sin that leaves me with a sour taste. I have felt it a few times and I totally dislike it. It's one of those things that creeps in without even noticing it. When have I felt envy recently?

Jesus, forgive me for all the times that I have failed to love You and that I have failed to keep your commandments. Now, I need to go to confession.

I love You, Jesus!!!

First Week of Lent: March 6, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today's reading was the same Leviticus reading from nine years ago. Not surprising since the readings get repeated every three years. And once again, I find myself needing to go to confession. I must share with You, Jesus, that of all the things You left us, confession is the one I like the least. I put it off and put it off and put it off. If it was up to me, I would confess directly to You and avoid the intermediary. But it is very humbling to sit in front of a priest, which at that moment represents You, and pour out my heart to him. And as much as I dislike it, every time I go, I leave a lot lighter and a lot happier. So it's time to stop making excuses and go to confession.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: I'm not Giving Up Chocolate

First Week of Lent: February 26, 2009

"Why do we and the Pharisees fast much, buy your disciples do not fast?" Matthew 9:14

Dear Jesus:

You were never in favor of doing sacrifices on the outside, like fasting, when there was no conversion on the inside. The Pharisees were all about customs and traditions but when they saw someone in need on the Sabath, they would not help because it was the Sabath.

Today, many of us are not much different than the Pharisees. We place more emphasis on the traditions than on our conversion. What do I gain by fasting if I don't improve my life? If I continue gossiping, lying, being selfish and self-centered, then what is the benefit of fasting?

I gave up reading the Nora Roberts' novels during this Lent in order to spend more time with You. If I use the time instead to watch TV or to do other useless activities, then I might as well continue reading the romances I enjoy so much.

Help me to get closer to You this Lent, Jesus.

I love You!!!

First Week of Lent: March 5, 2017

Dear Jesus:

This Lent, I have been reading in a lot of places messages like this one: "Don't give up chocolate this Lent." It was on my church bulletin today, I've seen it on Facebook and I have received it by e-mail. I remember one Lent that I gave up ice cream and it was quite difficult because I used to eat ice cream every single day. But I understand why giving up chocolate is pointless if we don't use these forty days to transform.

This year, one of the things I'm trying to give up is worrying. Why? Well, simply because I am a worrier and I should learn to trust You more. I have handed my children to You, I know You love them more than me, and yet, I am constantly worrying about them. I mentioned to Alex that this Lent I was giving up worrying. He laughed and told me, "let's see how you do when I'm in Miami for spring break." He's right. In five days he will arrive and will be here for ten days. My biggest test will be when he's out and about at 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm wide awake trying to stay away from checking his location in "find my friends."

I should have given up chocolate. It would have been a lot easier.

Help me to get closer to You this Lent, Jesus, by truly placing my trust in You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Lenten Commitments

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." —Proverbs 16:9

First Week of Lent 2008: Friday, February 8th

Dear Jesus:

During this Lent, I am trying to do three things. The first one is to abstain from nagging. I have this horrible habit of nagging. Either when I want something or when I don't like something, I nag incessantly, and it's truly bothersome to my hubby and my children, the direct victims of my nagging.

The second one is to pray more. I have committed my first half hour of the day to pray. I have not succeeded every day but I am trying. Sometimes I have prayed while walking, others I have done the daily reflection while sitting in front of the computer at work, others I have gotten up very early and prayed the rosary, and other times, like today, I have read a meditation and I have written You a letter. The additional thing that I'm trying to do within "the more time for prayer" is to attend one additional mass during the week.

The third thing that I want to do for Lent is "almsgiving." I am not sure yet if it's going to be with my time or with my treasure. My time at this time of year tends to be very limited, but I would love to volunteer my time to a good cause. You have been very generous with us, and I need to be very grateful and give back some of what You have given to us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

First Week of Lent 2017: Friday, March 3rd

Dear Jesus:

Yesterday, I tried to go to mass and everything conspired to make me late. Penny took longer than usual to do her morning necessities; while I was walking her, I ran into a neighbor that was in a chatty mood; and by the time I rushed back home with barely a minute to spare, I realized that I still had to wash the breakfast dishes. And for me, to leave the house with dirty dishes on the sink is simply unacceptable. So I gave up.

Many years, I have attempted to attend at least one weekly daily mass during Lent. And every year, I fail. That is the reason why I did not make that commitment this Lent.  This year, I'm leaving it to chance. If I can make it, I'll be ecstatic, but if I can't, I won't be disappointed. Yesterday, I couldn't get to mass on time but I went instead to the Blessed Sacrament, and I got to spend 45 minutes of quiet prayer time with You. And that was good enough for both of us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven during Lent: Ash Wednesday Reflections

It seems that this day holds a prime spot on my journals, so I decided to share some of my Ash Wednesday reflections through the years.

February 25, 2009

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." —Matthew 16:24

Dear Jesus:

Today is Ash Wednesday and it's been more than two months since I've written You a letter. The last time I wrote You I was getting ready for Christmas. Now, I'm getting ready for Lent and Easter.

I know that following You is not easy. In order to follow You, I must swim against the current. It would be so much easier just to drift through the river of life, but I chose the harder route, the one that leads to You.

"Pick up your cross." What is my cross, Jesus? I am very blessed because my cross is so light that I don't even feel it. If I had to pick a cross today, I would pick "tax season." It's the time during the year when I'm most stressed out. I miss our quiet times together, but I know that I have a responsibility, a duty to my clients and tax season will be over soon.

So this year, I'm going to offer this tax season as my penance for Lent. I will work each day with a smile on my face, a positive attitude and I will serve my clients to the best of my ability.

I love You, Jesus!!!

February 13, 2013

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” —LUKE 6:37

Dear Jesus:

I decided to give myself half a day off to attend this Ash Wednesday retreat. I have been asked to answer this question: "How merciful is my image of God?"

Since I started studying the Scriptures, I have learned how merciful and forgiving our Father is. Our patriarchs, Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, etc, did some awful things. And yet, God always gave them new opportunities for improvement. And He always forgave them. 

I know that God forgives me too. It doesn't matter how many times I fall. He is always there to catch me. I know that I am a sinner, but I also know that if I truly repent, He will forgive me. God knows my heart. He looks deep within and He knows what is truly hidden in my heart. He always gives me a new opportunity. I just have to repent and truly become a better person.

God, mold me and change me. Help me to become like clay in your hands. Only if I do your will, will I become the woman that You created me to be.

I love You, Jesus!!!

February 18, 2015

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." —PSALM 32:8

Dear Jesus:

Two years ago, I took the time to attend a retreat on Ash Wednesday. Today, I'm doing the same thing. I know that I have a lot on my plate, but I need to recharge my batteries. What better place to get renewed than a retreat?

I am here today for myself. I need to wash my soul, repent, renew and reform my life. I always feel that I'm swimming between two shores. On one shore is the world. On the other shore is You. It is on this shore where I can truly find solace, comfort and peace. But unfortunately, I can't remain on this shore forever because You want me to be part of the world.

I came today because I need ammunition for my journey. I need to rise from the ashes so that I can reach the resurrection. And in the process, I hope that I can be a witness to my family. Hopefully, they will be able to see You through me. I hope they realize that without You, the world is pointless and without meaning.

Give me your courage, Jesus. Alone, there is nothing I can do, but with You, I can do anything. 

Transform me, Jesus.

I love You, Jesus!!!

February 10, 2016

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." —1 PETER 5:7

Dear Jesus:

Today is the beginning of Lent and I must tell You that I'm not ready. It just crawled upon me.

I've been up since 3:30 am, awake long before that. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm stressed out to the point of breaking. I have so much work at the office and I committed to chair the fundraiser of the Key Clubhouse. Some days, I feel like I'm just going to drown. I'm afraid that I'm losing control of the fundraiser and I'm going to let everyone down. 300 people. How did this happen? You truly are an amazing God. But now, I need your help. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself because as You know, I'm a perfectionist. But I need to let go, and let You handle the things that are out of my control.

Please, let me keep my sanity as I journey through this Lent.

I love You, Jesus!!!

March 1, 2017

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" —Psalm 56:3–4

Dear Jesus:

Lent this year is starting very late. I was anxiously waiting for it. I'm excited because Easter this year will mark the end of tax season. A double celebration.

I really wanted to go to the Ash Wednesday retreat that I have attended in the past, but I just couldn't fit it in. I have too much work right now and I'm already taking Thursday mornings for Bible class. Next week we are going to start a five-week study on "The Passion." I'm really looking forward to it, so I need to pace myself to make sure that I can fit it in my schedule.

This year, instead of giving up chocolate or something inconsequential, I'm planning to give up something more substantial, and also harder. This Lent, I'm giving up gossip and negativity. I will look for the best in people, and I will try very hard to praise, instead of putting anyone down. I will also keep a positive outlook on the future, and I will try to minimize my contact with people who are negative and toxic.

And as a bonus, I'm going to try really hard to give up worry. You are in control and worrying will not change the outcome. I will trust You and when the "worry ants" begin to crawl upon my brain, I will attempt to block them out.

I love You, Jesus!!!