This week we are celebrating the last week of the Easter season. This past Sunday we celebrated the Ascension of our Lord to heaven and next Sunday we will celebrate Pentecost. Throughout this entire Easter Season I've been writing directly or indirectly about death. It was certainly not my intention but God always gets His way and somehow that's the path He led me through ever since the abuelas came to visit me in a dream. But as we celebrate His ascension to heaven, I would like to close this topic by sharing a meditation I wrote last October, a few months before I started this blog.
Today I attended the “resurrection” mass for Danny Pino, the 19 year-old who was hit by a car two weeks ago. He was a good friend of my youngest son, Alex. His mass was not called a “funeral” mass. His mass was a “resurrection” mass because his family knows that he has resurrected with the Lord in heaven. His family knows that his death is not the end, it’s the beginning. And yes, it was sad. There was not a dry eye in that church. But in my case, my tears were for his mom, for his dad, for his sister, for his brother, for his family… because they are going to miss his presence, his joy, his loyalty, his compassion, his laugh… I cried for them because I know how much they are going to miss him. But I know that Danny, without a doubt, is in heaven. Just like the priest said: “He is already creating havoc in heaven. The angels are trying to determine in which choir they are going to place Danny.” And from heaven, he will continue to love his family. And they will feel him in the whisper of the wind, they will see him in the rainbow, they will hear him in the rain and they will hold him forever in their hearts.
Danny’s motto was: “So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart… Love your life. Perfect your life. Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death… Sing your death Song and die like a Hero going Home.” (Prayer of Tecumseh)
Even though I still would prefer to go before my children, I know that it is not my choice and that it is only the selfish part of me that wants to reach heaven first. Today, if someone were to ask me, “what is your biggest fear?” my answer would be very different. My biggest fear is no longer to lose a child. My biggest fear is to die out of grace. My biggest fear is that my children could die out of grace. So my prayer has turned from “God please don’t take my children,” to “God please save my children’s souls. Let them live their lives for You and in the service of your people. So that when you decide to call us home, in whichever order you desire, we are all ready to go home and sing, dance or in awe of You be still.”
Today I know that it is a big JOY to release our children back to the Lord when they are ready to go HOME. Danny is HOME today and even though he will be missed forever here on earth, his family is full of JOY because they know that one day they will reunite again with him in our heavenly home.
This is the lesson that Jesus came to teach us, the reason why He came to earth, the reason why He endured the crucifixion and the reason why He resurrected. He came to teach us that death is not the end, it's the beginning and one day, we will all reunite in heaven.
A
few years ago, in an Emmaus meeting, a lady asked me: “What is your biggest
fear?” My answer was immediate, without a second thought: “My biggest fear is
to lose a child.” I remember she answered me with another question: “Wouldn’t
you feel the biggest joy if you release your children back to the Lord?” My
answer was a resounding “NO.”
During
the past two years I have been to funeral homes at an average of one per month,
so I’ve had no choice but to reflect a lot about death. Death does not
discriminate. In the last two years, I have witnessed God calling home a
2 year-old who drowned on her pool, a 19 year-old who was hit by a car, a 50
year-old who died of cancer, my 84 year-old in laws who died two months apart
from each other, my 101 year-old uncle who died of old age and everything in
between.
I
used to be terrified of death. But in these past two years, I have become
less afraid. I’ve been thinking a lot today as to what has changed within
me. And I realized that I used to see death as the end. Yes, I
believed in heaven but I still saw death as the end. Death was the end of
life here on earth. But sometime within the last two years, I have
started to look at death not as the end but as the beginning. It’s the
beginning of our life in heaven. It’s the beginning of our life with
Jesus. How can I be afraid of death if death will take me to Jesus?
A
couple of weeks ago, a lady from my Bible class who bid good-bye to her 58
year-old husband on Easter Sunday, said these words to me: “We are not human
beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a
human experience.” When we look at our lives that way, we should not be
afraid of dying. If we think of ourselves as spiritual beings instead of
as human beings, we can’t fear death because death will simply transform us to
what we are meant to be: spirits in heaven.
Today I attended the “resurrection” mass for Danny Pino, the 19 year-old who was hit by a car two weeks ago. He was a good friend of my youngest son, Alex. His mass was not called a “funeral” mass. His mass was a “resurrection” mass because his family knows that he has resurrected with the Lord in heaven. His family knows that his death is not the end, it’s the beginning. And yes, it was sad. There was not a dry eye in that church. But in my case, my tears were for his mom, for his dad, for his sister, for his brother, for his family… because they are going to miss his presence, his joy, his loyalty, his compassion, his laugh… I cried for them because I know how much they are going to miss him. But I know that Danny, without a doubt, is in heaven. Just like the priest said: “He is already creating havoc in heaven. The angels are trying to determine in which choir they are going to place Danny.” And from heaven, he will continue to love his family. And they will feel him in the whisper of the wind, they will see him in the rainbow, they will hear him in the rain and they will hold him forever in their hearts.
During
the mass, we sang one of my favorite songs, “I can only imagine” by Mercy Me: “I
can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me…
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at
all?”
I would like to think that I will be dancing and singing with joy, but since in my humanity I’m not musically inclined, must likely as a spiritual being I won’t be either so I most likely will be still in awe of my Creator. I can only imagine what a beautiful moment that will be. And when that moment comes, I have to be ready.
I would like to think that I will be dancing and singing with joy, but since in my humanity I’m not musically inclined, must likely as a spiritual being I won’t be either so I most likely will be still in awe of my Creator. I can only imagine what a beautiful moment that will be. And when that moment comes, I have to be ready.
Danny’s motto was: “So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart… Love your life. Perfect your life. Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death… Sing your death Song and die like a Hero going Home.” (Prayer of Tecumseh)
Even though I still would prefer to go before my children, I know that it is not my choice and that it is only the selfish part of me that wants to reach heaven first. Today, if someone were to ask me, “what is your biggest fear?” my answer would be very different. My biggest fear is no longer to lose a child. My biggest fear is to die out of grace. My biggest fear is that my children could die out of grace. So my prayer has turned from “God please don’t take my children,” to “God please save my children’s souls. Let them live their lives for You and in the service of your people. So that when you decide to call us home, in whichever order you desire, we are all ready to go home and sing, dance or in awe of You be still.”
Today I know that it is a big JOY to release our children back to the Lord when they are ready to go HOME. Danny is HOME today and even though he will be missed forever here on earth, his family is full of JOY because they know that one day they will reunite again with him in our heavenly home.
This is the lesson that Jesus came to teach us, the reason why He came to earth, the reason why He endured the crucifixion and the reason why He resurrected. He came to teach us that death is not the end, it's the beginning and one day, we will all reunite in heaven.
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