The Parents of the Class of 2020

“This is only the ending of the first chapter of a grand adventure.” Author Unknown

When Alex told me that UConn didn’t have graduation ceremonies in December, I was devastated. Alex missed a semester for health reasons, so he was not able to finish his college education in May 2017 with his classmates. He had to stay one additional semester, so he ended up graduating in December. He took all his cap and gown pictures, and he asked if he could participate in the May ceremony, but the answer was “no.” He had the opportunity to return to campus in May 2018, and participate then. Of course, I knew that was not going to happen. By that time, he already had a full-time job down here, and it just didn’t make sense for him to go back to Connecticut when he had even received his diploma already. Besides, those were not his classmates. He was part of the class of 2017, not the class of 2018. 

I always have that sadness in my heart that we missed out on something important. I had enjoyed his brother and sister’s graduations tremendously. There is something special about hearing your child’s name being called out, and seeing them walk across the stage to receive their diploma. Yes, even if it’s a pretend diploma. And that is why my heart goes out today to the parents of the class of 2020.

A lot has been said and a lot has been written about the class of 2020, but not much about the parents of the class of 2020. Don’t get me wrong, my heart goes out too to the class of 2020.  Their year was cut short. They missed out on their prom, on the end-of-year senior activities, on their last days with their friends and on their graduation. But they will get over it. Their year may have been cut short but their dreams won’t. They have their entire lives ahead of them. But for their parents, the graduation ceremony is like their crowning glory. I know that Alex didn’t mind missing out on his college graduation as much as I did. He attended as a guest to what should have been his graduation, and I remember he told me: “You didn’t miss anything, mom, it was long and boring.” But I did miss that special moment that marks the culmination of all the sacrifices we put ourselves through so that he could have the best education possible.

I know how the parents of the class of 2020 are feeling today. It’s like when you are reading a book, and just when you are about to reach the end, when you are about to read that exciting conclusion that you have been waiting for, you realize that the last pages of the book are missing. Since the very first day that these parents took their child to kindergarten, they have made sure their children woke up early to get to school on time. They have driven them to school every morning during rush hour traffic. They have run back in the afternoon to pick them up. They have stayed up late at night to help them with their science project that is due the following day. They have sat with them to teach them their spelling words, to practice their reading, and to help them with their math homework. They have allowed their kitchen to be converted into a science lab. They have taken time off work to go on field trips. They have rushed to school to pick their child up because he had a fever. They have experienced every growing pain from kindergarten to middle school to high school. And finally, when they are on the final chapter of their child’s education, when they are about to reach the end and enjoy the conclusion of all their years of sacrifice, they realize that the last pages have been ripped out. So whether it’s a high school or a college graduation, today my heart goes out to them. I mourn with them the pictures that they could not take and the speeches that they could not listen to in person. I can hear the song “pomp and circumstance” playing in the distance, like an echo of what should have been but was taken away by a little bug that came to steal the last pages of the book.

And yet, I am in awe at the creativity of this 2020 group of parents. I feel like they have 20/20 vision. As I walked around the golf course near my house this past month, I saw countless houses with signs on their front yards congratulating the graduate that lived in that particular house. I have seen caravan after caravan of cars parading in front of the houses on what would have been graduation day. These parents who missed out on one of the most important days of their child’s life, made sure that their child had their special day no matter what. Maybe the book did not have the ending that they were expecting, but it definitely had a surprising and unexpected conclusion. And thus, the parents of the class of 2020 will go down in history as the most innovative group of parents who had the 20/20 vision to come up with the most creative ways to celebrate their child’s graduation in spite of all the obstacles brought on by this pandemic. And even though the little bug stole the last pages of the book, these parents re-wrote the ending in ways that no one could have predicted. I know a mom that created a video for her daughter with messages from all her family and friends. Another one had the fire and police departments lead the two-mile long caravan that drove in front of their house on graduation day. And many others arranged surprise video parties to celebrate their child’s special day in spite of social distancing.

It’s been almost three years since Alex finished college, and even though we don’t have any graduation pictures or memories, he has accomplished all his dreams. And at the end of the day, that is more important than the graduation itself. So parents of the class of 2020, you will get over it. The most important thing is not this moment in time, but all the timeless moments that you will get to spend with your child in the future. This little bug may have stolen the last pages of this book, but he did not steal their future. Their dreams are not over, they are just beginning. So grab your child’s hand, and walk into the next chapter of their lives, knowing that together, you were part of history.

Congratulations to the class of 2020!!! And cheers to the parents!!! May you have lots of reasons to celebrate all their future dreams.

Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.