The Marriage Journey

 Love is patient, love is kind.” 1 Cor 13:14

My dearest Chabeli and Daniel:

The day has finally arrived when you will be walking down the aisle to promise that you will love each other for the rest of your lives.

You began this journey when you met almost nine years ago. You first got to know each other, you dated and eventually, you moved in together. Two years ago, you decided to plant roots in Charlotte, and last year, you got engaged. 

Today, you begin the marriage journey. What words of wisdom can I share that you don’t know already? I decided to do a comparison with a few things the world tells you and what I have learned in the 39 years of my own marriage journey:

1. The world tells you to never go to bed angry. I tell you that sometimes it’s better to go to bed angry than to beat each other. Seriously, and I’m sure you know this already, sometimes you need to sleep it off and talk about it the next day when the tempers have cooled off. 
2. The world tells you that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Wrong. If that was the case, I would have been divorced within the month, LOL. Definitely feeding him raviolis from a can did not win me his heart. But maybe in Daniel’s case, the way to Chabeli’s heart was preparing her delicious meals. 
3. The world tells you that love is never having to say you’re sorry. Ha ha ha. You will need to say “I’m sorry” many times. Hopefully neither one of you is afraid to say it because love means being able to say “I’m sorry” over and over again.
4. The world tells you to choose your battles. I agree on this one. It’s best not to fight over the little things, like how much luggage to take on a trip. Dad knows exactly what I mean, LOL. 
5. The world tells you not to put your children above your marriage. Very true. You two are the roots of the tree and the children are just the branches. The tree cannot survive without the roots. Your children will be happier if you are happy and you have solid, strong roots. Yes, they will demand your full attention, but don’t take each other for granted. Let them know that mom and dad also need “alone” time.
6. The world tells you that if it doesn’t work out, divorce is always a choice. Don’t allow it to be. Every argument, every disagreement, has a solution, but when you bring “divorce” into the argument as an option, it will become the solution. There is always another path, the one that leads to reconciliation.
7. The world tells you to put “yourself” first. I couldn’t disagree more. You need to put the other one first. But it takes two to tango. If only one of you does this, eventually resentment and competition will creep into your marriage. But if both of you care more for each other than you do for yourselves, then you will always dance to the beat of a passionate tango. 
8. The world tells you that honesty is the best policy. I totally agree. If you start keeping things from each other, pretty soon you will lose trust, which is one of the main ingredients for a successful marriage. It’s very difficult to regain trust once it’s gone. 
9. The world tells you to save for a rainy day. I tell you to save for a hurricane. You never know when life can throw you a curve ball and you may be without a job. They say it’s good to have six months of your salary saved up. I say, if possible, have one year of your salary saved up.
10. The world tells you that you have to do it on your own. Not true. You are not alone on this journey, so whenever you have a question or need some advice, don’t hesitate to grab the phone and make a call. You can call dad and I at any time, day or night. We will always be here for you, and even if we give you a hard time once in a while, we are your biggest cheerleaders because we want you to succeed and have a long lasting marriage.

May God bless you today and always, and may He always walk by your side even when you feel that you don’t need Him. May He bless you with children, and may you never take each other for granted. Enjoy the marriage journey, and may it be a journey of unending love, sprinkled with unexpected surprises, lots of rainbows, plenty of sunshine, filled with joy, incredible adventures, and plenty of romance. 

May you live happily ever after. 

With love,

Mom (and Dad too)

Copyright © 2023 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.