Trusting in the One that Loves You

"If you follow the will of God, you know that in spite of all the terrible things that happen to you… even when no human being can or will help you, you may go on, trusting in the One that loves you." Pope Benedict XVI

My previous post, God is Challenging Me to Surrender, caused quite a commotion. A few people reached out to make sure I was fine. Some were concerned it was a health related issue or something going on with my kids. It’s neither, but I guess in trying to keep it private, I scared a lot of people. Thank God my issue is not as serious as people thought, even though it has kept me awake and worried for the better part of the last two months. But since deciding to surrender my plans to God, I have felt much more at peace. Thank you to all of you that have been praying for me because I know that your prayers have made a world of difference. 

A couple of weeks ago, I met with a priest for spiritual direction. One of the issues that I am struggling with is distinguishing God’s voice. It’s hard to recognize His voice when there are so many others trying to pull me in many different directions. He recommended a book titled “In the School of the Holy Spirit,” by Jacques Philippe. I bought it immediately, and I have started reading it. 

I am currently reading chapter three, “How Can We Know that an Inspiration Comes from God?” As soon as I read the title, I was hopeful it would provide me with the answers I was seeking. Of course, nothing is black or white, so I still have a lot to learn to be able to discern God’s voice, but the following paragraph caught my attention: “What comes from the Spirit of God brings with it joy, peace, tranquility of spirit, gentleness, simplicity, and light. On the other hand, what comes from the spirit of evil brings sadness, trouble, agitation, worry, confusion, and darkness.” 

I realized that these past two months I have been feeling a lot of worry, confusion, and darkness, therefore this clearly is not coming from God. He cannot be the source of all this sadness and agitation that I have been carrying in my heart. “The Spirit of God unfailingly produces peace in our souls, and the devil unfailingly produces agitation.” Therefore, I have reached the conclusion that my plan, as good as it seemed, was not coming from God. And since my prayer was, “Close the door, Lord, if this is not the right decision,” He slammed it right on my face. I just wished He had been a little more gentle. 

Now, I’m resorting to plan B, and so far I have been feeling very much at peace, so that’s a good sign. I am placing my full trust in the One that I know loves me unconditionally, and I’m letting Him lead the way. 

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