Am I a Pilgrim or a Tourist?

 “Tourists want everything to go exactly as they have planned. Tourists get upset if there are delays. They demand prompt attention to their every need. They focus on themselves… Pilgrims look for signs. If delayed, they ask, “What is God trying to say to me?” Pilgrims are aware of the needs of others. Pilgrims count their blessings.” Matthew Kelly

I am doing a Journey to Eucharistic Consecration during this Lent. It is based on Matthew Kelly’s book “33 Days to Eucharistic Glory.” On one of the meditations, I was asked: “Are you a pilgrim or a tourist?” This question really got me thinking. How do I approach life? Do I live my life as a tourist or a pilgrim?

I think the answer lies in between. Sometimes I’m a tourist and other times I’m a pilgrim. And there is a huge difference between the two. When I’m a tourist, I get annoyed easily when my carefully planned life doesn’t go the way I want it. I place more attention to the things of the world than I do to my spiritual life. I become more superficial, focusing on how people see me rather than how God sees me. 

When I’m a pilgrim, on the other hand, I see changes in plans as an opportunity from God to try something different. I ask myself: “Is God trying to tell me something here?” Is this delay God’s way of keeping me out of trouble? As a pilgrim, I pay more attention to my spiritual life and I try to see God’s message to me in everything I do. When I’m a pilgrim, I live my life as if everything is a miracle. 

I had the opportunity last weekend to put this concept into action. On Sunday, the only day I’m giving myself permission to drink wine during Lent, the hubby and I decided to go to an Italian wine bar near our son’s house in New York. As we were leaving, my son said: “That wine bar you are going to is not that great, but there’s another one on the other side of Central Park that is really good.” We took his word for it, and decided to walk the mile across the park, even though it was extremely cold. He had sent us the link to the place, so we just opened it up in Google Maps and headed to our destination.

When we finally arrived, the wine bar was no where to be found. I checked the address, saw that we were at the right avenue but the wrong number. We started walking north trying to find the right number, but the addresses in New York are not like in Miami. They don’t follow the same numbering system. In Miami, if the house number is 4763, you know that the location is between 47th and 48th. In New York, the numbers don’t match the streets. We were at number 1300 on 79th St and 3rd Ave, and we had to get to number 1614. In Miami, that would have been three blocks. In New York, we had to walk all the way to 92nd St. Thirteen blocks in 30 degree temperatures. 

By this time, I was getting pretty hangry. I was hungry, I was cold, and I was tired. I had mentally prepared myself to walk one mile, not two. But then, I remembered. I could treat this as a tourist or a pilgrim. I decided for the latter. Maybe God had sent us on a longer route for a reason. I began to pay attention to the people around me, to the signs, but nothing really stood out to me.

Finally, we arrived at the wine bar. I was expecting an Italian wine bar, but instead, when we sat down, we realized that we were at a South African wine bar. At this point, I was ready to kill my son. The entire wine list was wines from South Africa, which we knew nothing about. And the menu… I couldn’t recognize a single dish: “Kombuis… what in the world is kombuis?” I was very close to getting up and walking out, but once again, I told myself: “I can take the attitude of a tourist and be upset, or I can be a pilgrim and make the best of this experience.” And what a wonderful experience it turned out to be. 

The young man that took care of us was a sweetheart. He moved from South Africa to New York at the end of 2019, right before the pandemic hit. He gave us a lesson on South African wines, which turned out to be delicious. He talked about his country with such pride, it was contagious. I was ready to book a trip to Zimbabwe. And he recommended some items from the menu which were amazing: Lam Sosaties (lamb skewers), Roasted oesters (oysters), Viskoekie sliders (crusted fishcake) and a few others. In the end, we told him how we had ended up at his place, and were ready to bolt out of there, but we were so happy to have stayed. He was so grateful that even though we didn’t want dessert, he treated us to one of the most delicious bread puddings I have ever tasted. And the best treat came at the end, when we went to pay and he told us that Benedict and Dominic (our grandsons) had paid for our food.

Sometimes, life is full of surprises. We could have left the place as upset tourists because it was not what we were expecting, and we would have missed out on a great experience. But because we chose to remain as pilgrims, we ended up meeting a wonderful young man, and we tried some delicious South African dishes, which we would have never discovered on our own. 

Definitely, it’s much better to live life as a pilgrim than a tourist. I can’t wait to see what next surprise God has in store for me.

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