Letters to Heaven: Marriage and Cuban Coffee

"Our marriage is like that nice cup of Cuban coffee every morning. It becomes more delicious over time."

June 29, 2009

Dear Jesus:

25 years!!! We made it!!! We were supposed to be in Turks and Caicos celebrating, instead, we are here in Miami. It is what it is... but we made the best of it.

Rafe surprised me with a booklet that he prepared with different pictures from our life together, starting all the way back with our "Flavia" cruise in 1981. He wrote beautiful things. I love my hubby.

We took the day off from work and we spent the day together. We first went to have breakfast at Islas Canarias, like in the good old days. We then drove to Boca Raton, walked around Mizner Park, then drove down the coastline and parked at Ft. Lauderdale Beach. We drank ice cream shakes, and then went to the movies to watch "The Proposal." It was a super funny romantic comedy. We had a good laugh, just what we needed. At night, we went to dinner at Oceanair. While we were getting ready, we lost power, so we had to take showers by candle light. It would have been very romantic, except for the small detail that the house was full of kids.

Thank You, Jesus, for these 25 years of marriage. We would not have made it if You had not been at the center. And thank You for the gift of each one of our three children.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 11, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today we renewed our vows in a small, intimate mass at the Villa Javier chapel. It was very special. We didn't invite a lot of people because with Rafi's health so unstable, we didn't want to plan something big and then have to cancel it. Only our kids and some of our closest family members were present.

Father Willie made it very personal. I pray for him, Jesus, for his vocation. Please guide him and protect him because he is a very special priest with a very big heart. We had the extra blessing of also having Father Tino present. He's another special priest who is approaching the end of his journey here on earth. Please, Jesus, give him health and carry him as he approaches the day that he will be in your presence.

After 25 years of marriage and all the mountains we have climbed, we are ready to continue our journey. Renewing our vows was a way to remember the promises we made to each other so long ago, and to make the commitment to continue keeping those promises to each other. It's not that the ones we made 25 years ago when we received the Sacrament of Matrimony have expired, but it was good to renew them and to celebrate our marriage. It was a way to reaffirm our commitment to each other, and to tell each other that if we had to get married all over again, we would do it in a heartbeat. And I made one extra promise this time around. I promised to make him Cuban coffee every morning. What have I gotten myself into?

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 29, 2017

Dear Jesus:

33 years!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Has it been easy? No. Have we had some rough moments? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I would marry him again in a heartbeat.

And I'm happy to say that I kept my vow, at least until this past Christmas. I made him Cuban coffee every morning, and with "espumita." Now we are the proud owners of a Nespresso machine which my mom gave us for Christmas. Making coffee, like our marriage, has become simpler.

I was not a coffee drinker when I married my hubby 33 years ago. He told me: "I will get you hooked." Well, he was right. But it took a lot longer than he thought. I've gotten hooked on coffee in this last year, especifically, on a cup of "cortadito" with evaporated milk, accompanied by a madeleine or a biscotti. And the roles have shifted. Now he is the one that prepares me my "cortadito" every morning. That is what I believe makes a good marriage. It's not the grand occasional gestures, it's the daily tiny acts of thoughtfulness. For over 30 years, I made Cuban coffee for my hubby, even though I was not a coffee drinker, but I simply knew that a good day for my hubby had to start with Cuban coffee. And now that my tastebuds have discovered this truly delicious drink, he is doing the same for me.

Our marriage is like that nice cup of Cuban coffee every morning. It becomes more delicious over time.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Life is a Rollercoaster

"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10

May 19, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I feel like I'm riding on a rollercoaster. One day, I'm at the bottom, it's a straight ride without curves or drops, so I feel at peace. The next day, I'm climbing up the steep track, trembling with fear. Please, grant me the inner peace that I was feeling just three days ago. Today, I am feeling overwhelmed, dealing with all the turmoil that is going on right now in my life: Rafi's illness, the plumbing disaster, plus all the other little issues.

I feel like my life has spiraled out of control. I need peace to reign once more. All these unexpected events have caused fear to take hold of my heart. I am terrified that I will not be capable of handling it all.

What can I do, Jesus? I need your help. I cannot handle all this on my own. I need to regain the peace that I used to feel not so long ago. I need to stop. I need to be still. I need to feel You and hear your voice in the silence of my heart.

The problem is that there is a lot of noise going on right now. They are drilling the floor to reach the broken pipeline, and it feels like the entire house is shaking. That is exactly how I feel. I feel like my whole life is shaking. My foundation is trembling.

I need to breathe. I'm gasping for air. I need to stop and take a deep breath. The world may collapse around me but my soul needs to remain intact. As long as You are within me, all is well.

Please Jesus, stay with me. Remain within me. Do not abandon me, even when I don't even feel the energy to pray. I feel such spiritual desolation. I want to cry. I want to scream. I feel like everything going on around me is negative. All the news is bad news.

I need to remove myself from all this negativity. I need to shift my mind towards happy thoughts. I need to concentrate on the positive and believe with all my heart that things will be better soon. I need to release all my worries to You, Jesus, and trust that You will make things better for my family soon.

I need to be still to allow your peace to fill my soul.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 27, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Life is a rollercoaster. Some days are peaceful and others are turbulent. But when we are still and allow You to fill our souls, we can find peace. I slept very little that summer of 2009. But I also became very close to You. You helped me to quiet my anxious mind. I prayed a lot, and I learned to trust You. There were days that I felt so overwhelmed that I didn't think I could walk another step, but You carried me. You knew that I was the root of my family and therefore I had to be strong for all of them. I could not crumble or we would all perish.

When I look back and I think of those days, I can clearly see how You were guiding my steps. I remember the morning when I left Rafi at that hospital in Ft. Lauderdale for an evaluation. I was told that the evaluation would take two hours, so I decided to go for a ride. I was beyond myself. I wanted to drive my car straight into the ocean. But I prayed for your guidance and decided to turn around and go back to the hospital. I took a left turn and found myself in the parking lot of a Catholic Church, St. Pious. I decided to stop to pray. I parked the car, grabbed my rosary hanging from the rearview mirror, and walked up to the church. The door was locked. I walked all the way around the church to see if there was another way in, and I came upon a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes with St. Bernardette. There was a waterfall, a stream of water on the ground, rocks, a garden... It was very pretty and peaceful. I just stood in front of your mother and began to cry. I wanted to talk to her, but the words just wouldn't come. I needed comfort and the peace that comes from knowing that everything is going to be fine. And I got that.

Thank You, Jesus, for guiding my steps to your Mother. You knew how much I needed her at that moment. Thank You for teaching me to be still in your presence. Thank You for giving me your peace which allowed me to survive a very turbulent rollercoaster ride.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: One Step at a Time

"It’s not always easy to walk in faith... But as we take one step and then another and then another, we’ll find our faith growing stronger. We’ll also find the joy that can come only from following the Lord. And we’ll find God supporting and leading us into a future that is more beautiful than we could ever imagine." 

The Word Among Us Meditation January 28, 2017

May 16, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I love this time in the morning when the sun just came out. The house is quiet. I can hear the birds singing outside. It's so peaceful.

I am beginning to make peace within me. I still feel as if my heart went through the wringer, but it is still beating. The turmoil inside of me is starting to calm down. I am starting to accept Rafi's illness. Talking it over with him has helped me. He is not angry. He feels that he can control this illness and he refuses to allow the illness to control him. If Rafi has accepted it with such a positive attitude, who am I to question why this has happened? I need to imitate my son and be positive. I need to find the good in the bad. Rafi has not changed. He is the same Rafi with his same goals and aspirations. This week, he has gone to the beach a couple of times with his friends. He's the same sociable kid that he has always been. Jesus, I place him in your hands once more. Please, protect him.

In the midst of all the bad, a lot of good things have happened. Alex had his pin ceremony and eighth grade prom last week. It's an exciting time for him. He went to the prom with Ali, a friend from St. Theresa. He had a great time. He has a good group of new friends that he's met at Belen over the past three years. He's happy. He's been getting As and Bs. He's ready to start high school. He will be attending summer camp at Belen by his own choice. He continues with his tennis lessons, and we finally found a guitar teacher that he really likes. Thus far, his little world is perfect. Please Jesus, keep it that way.

Chabeli is also very happy. She finished her first year at UM with flying colors. Now she's taking two classes at Miami-Dade during the summer. She's happy with her job at UM and with her boyfriend. She seems to have found her rhythm. She is at peace with herself and life in general. Please, Jesus, keep an angel watching over her. Don't let anything or anyone alter her peace.

Rafe and I are doing pretty well considering. We have resumed our morning walks. We are talking a lot. We are united in this journey. One step at a time, that is our motto. Please Jesus, keep us together and strong because we know that this is the beginning of a long road. But I know that with You, we'll be able to beat this, just like we have overcome every road block in the past. Please, Jesus, keep us united through this ordeal, give us wisdom to make the right decisions, give us courage to continue walking, and please, hold our hands. I know that with your help, we will be able to walk this journey together. One step at a time.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 26, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for walking with us, one step at a time. When Rafi was diagnosed with a very serious illness on April 24, 2009, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to hide my head under a pillow and pretend that it was just a nightmare from which I would wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, it was not a nightmare. It was reality. Our new reality. I asked You many times, "why, Jesus? Why is this happening to him?" I couldn't accept that my son, my firstborn, my sweet, smart baby, could be diagnosed with something so serious and so unexpected. Something that could alter his entire life.

Thank You for choosing Rafe to be my husband. I would never have been able to go through that nightmare without him. He was my strength and support. Thank You for all the morning walks, for our journey with You, for our daily bible readings and meditations. They provided us with the necessary tools to make it through it all. Our being so united as a couple and having You at the center of our marriage, gave us the strength to carry the cross together.

Thank You for carrying Rafi. Thank You for guiding us to the best doctors, who found the right medication to stabilize him. He may need to take medication for the rest of his life, but I have accepted it. As a priest told me once, sometimes the miracle is not the cure, sometimes the miracle is finding the right medication that allows a person to live a normal life in spite of the illness. Thank You for the miracle. Thank You that today, Rafi leads a very normal life. He has become friends with his illness and he manages it beautifully. He is also opening up and helping others by sharing his story. That is the reason why, in this blog, I have decided not to go into the details. It's not my story to tell. It's his story.

No matter how many mountains we find in our journey, one step at a time. No matter how many hills we have to climb, one step at a time. No matter how many curves are ahead of us, one step at a time. And always, always, walking with You, one step at a time.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: A Splash of Gratitude

"A splash of gratitude with that attitude, please." Max Lucado

Note: All quotes on this entry, unless specified, are from Max Lucado's book "You'll Get Through This."

June 25, 2014

Dear Jesus:

Good morning!!!

I absolutely loved chapter nine of Max Lucado's book. My favorite one thus far.

Thank You, thank You, Jesus. Thank You for allowing me to sleep and for allowing my dad to rest. We had a great night.

I apologize Jesus because yesterday I was having a pity party. I have so much to be grateful for. "A spoonful of gratitude is all I needed" to remind me of how much I have to be thankful for.

I have been hearing, quite often lately, that my kids' generation feels like they are "entitled." They have this sense of entitlement that the world owes them. But sometimes, I also have this sense of entitlement. And the fact is that the world doesn't owe me anything. Yesterday, I was upset that I was going to have to stay in the hospital, in an uncomfortable bed, where I knew I would not have a good night sleep. I was being proud and "a proud woman is seldom a grateful woman, for she never thinks that she gets as much as she deserves."

I needed an attitude adjustment with a splash of gratitude. "The grateful heart sees each day as a gift." Instead of focusing on the uncomfortable bed, I need to be grateful that I even have a bed. How many people sleep on the floor every day because they lack a bed? Most hospitals don't have a bed for a family member to stay with the patient. This is a luxury and I need to be grateful for this privilege. I got to stay with my dad, in a private room and a bed was provided for my comfort. Thank You, Jesus.

Thank You that I was able to sleep in a comfortable bed. Thank You for the pillow where I rested my head. Thank You for the blanket that covered me so I didn't feel cold at night. Thank You for the air conditioning which prevented me from getting too hot at night. Thank You, Jesus, for the nurses that dedicate their lives to care for their patients.

Thank You, Jesus, for allowing me to adjust my attitude with a splash of gratitude. Gratitude gets me through the hard stuff. I need to concentrate more on my blessings and less on my hardships. "Gratitude always leaves me looking at God and away from dread. It does to anxiety what the morning sun does to valley mist. It burns it up."

I want to look at You, Jesus. I want to be part of the 10% who are thankful. I want to give You a standing ovation. "Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ." Eph 5:20

Dear Jesus:

Good evening!!!

I'm back at the hospital with my dad. We are hopeful that he will be discharged tomorrow. He's in your hands, Jesus. My mom stayed during the day and I was able to go home and to the office to take care of a bunch of things that have been piling up.

Thank You for bringing me safely back to the hospital. Thank You for allowing me to make it even though the gas tank was practically on empty, and I didn't notice it until I was on the expressway. Thank You for allowing me to resolve all the things that I had to resolve today.

Thank You for all your blessings and for my family. I was able to spend quality time with them at the dinner table. I had not seen my baby in almost a week. He was talkative today and he shared some funny stories about the kids at camp, where he's working this summer.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 25, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for reminding me that having an attitude of gratitude is very important.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: You are in All my Days

"Good days. Bad days. God is in all days." Max Lucado in "You'll Get Through This"

June 24, 2014

Dear Jesus:

It's good to know, Jesus, that You are present in all my days: the good, the bad and the ugly. Today, things got really complicated in the blink of an eye.

I woke up this morning expecting that my dad would be discharged from the hospital. Change of plans. It's 6 pm and I'm still here at the hospital with him. And it looks like I'll be staying overnight.

Yesterday, he got the skin grafts. Everything with the skin grafts went fine. He's hardly had any discomfort. But now, he can't empty his bladder. They did an ultrasound at 2 pm and we are still here... waiting. Waiting for the results. Waiting for treatment. Waiting for someone to do something for him. The nurse says that she's waiting for the doctor to call her back. I just called the doctor and he's waiting for the urologist. And in the meantime, the clock keeps ticking and we keep waiting.

Jesus, I may not understand now, with my limited mind, why You allow bad days. But I trust that You use both bad days and good days to accomplish your will. But please, give me the patience to accept the things I cannot change, serenity to wait, and courage to speak up when it gets to the point that we've had enough.

In the meantime, my wonderful hubby and daughter, are coming over and bringing me dinner. And the nurse just came in and they are going to put a catheter on my dad. Please Jesus, don't let him suffer. Give him strength to withstand whatever You send his way, strength to carry the cross and bless him.

Jesus, I trust in You. I have to trust You completely. Even when bad things happen because they are part of your greater plan. And I have to allow You to finish your work. I know that one day, when I meet You in heaven, You will explain it all to me.

In the meantime, I love You and I sit at your feet.

June 24, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for being present in all my days. The last three years of my dad's life were very tough years, but I felt your presence every single moment. I know that You carried us through some very rough waters, but through it all, You prepared us for that moment when we had to bid our final good-bye.

Thank You for also being present in the good days. And we've had a lot more good days than bad. This year has been especially peaceful and I am so thankful. I feel richly blessed when my days are boring and You are present in my daily routines. Thank You for the lack of action. I rejoice in the peace of quiet days.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Finding Peace in the Storm

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. . . . And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. —PHILIPPIANS 4:6–7, 19


June 11, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Today, my private chauffeur took me to Claire's house to pray. I really needed it. We prayed the rosary. We shared. I was able to vent. This is the first Summer Reading Book Club meeting I was able to attend. This summer, we are reading a book titled "Searching for and maintaining peace." How appropriate. It's exactly what I need right now, maintaining peace in the storm. Yes, this year I've been battling stormy weather and I still can't see the end of the storm.

Peace comes from You. Jesus, sometimes I try to find peace in the world but that's the wrong place to look for it. The peace that I may find in the world is only temporary. True peace comes from You.

In the meditation that we read today, it said that one of the keys towards finding peace is "goodwill." We have to feel goodwill towards others. If we feel goodwill within our hearts, then we can be in peace. That is so true. When we have goodwill towards others, You are in us. When we serve others, we get close to You. The closer we get to You, the more at peace we will be.

I have to place my life at your service. I have to allow You to do your will through me. I have to trust You completely. If I rely on You, if I give You full control of my life, my life will be in good hands, and I will feel so much better. Why do I want to be in control of everything? I need to turn everything over to You. I need to trust You completely. Then and only then, will I be able to close my eyes and be at peace.

Jesus, I will abandon myself completely in You. I will trust You fully. I will have blind faith in You. I know that You want the best for me and for my family. Therefore, I leave our lives in your hands.

Jesus, help me to find peace in the storm.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 22, 2017

Dear Jesus:

That summer of 2013 ended up being one busy hurricane season. But in spite of all the storms, I was able to find peace. I spent hours keeping my dad company at the rehab center, and I used those hours to pray, to read, to write and to listen to my dad reminisce about the past.

Since I could not drive, Alex would drop me off at the rehab center early in the morning on his way to Belen, and then, I had to rely on the kindness of family and friends to pick me up and take me either to work or home. This was not easy for someone as independent as me. But I learned that it's humbling to accept help from others.

I was forced to find the peace in the storm. And I did. Sometimes, when we are in the midst of a storm, the best solution is to sit still. We can hear You better when we sit at your feet. I hope I make the time to sit at your feet, without waiting for another storm to force me to do so.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: When it Rains, it Storms

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." —PSALM 46:1–2

June 9, 2013

Dear Jesus:

I have decided to go into hibernation. Please wake me up when 2013 ends.

On the weekend when my dad had the bypass surgery of his leg, we were supposed to travel to UConn for Alex's orientation. I cancelled my flight, but Alex and Rafael were scheduled to leave on Sunday. Once again, You laughed at our plans. Alex woke up with a temperature of 101 and a lot of pain in his throat. Rafe and I decided that it was best to cancel the trip. There is another orientation towards the end of June. He can attend that one.

On Monday, I accompanied Alex to the doctor. He had a bad ear infection so we made the right decision to cancel the trip to UConn. On Tuesday afternoon, I left the house to go to the hospital. My mom had spent the day with my dad and I was going to take the night shift. It had been raining so the floor in front of the house was wet. As I was getting to the car, I slipped and felt on my right knee. The pain was horrible. I was able to limp my way back into the house. Thank You that Chabeli and Alex were there. Alex brought me Advil and Chabeli an ice pack. I iced it for two hours but I couldn't move it. Chabeli drove me to the ER, and just as I suspected, I had a broken bone. The X-rays showed that I had fractured the patella, best known as the kneecap. Seriously Jesus, when it rains, it pours. How am I supposed to help my mom with my dad now? I cannot drive, and hopefully, I won't need surgery. And with this broken knee, I won't be able to go to UConn for Alex's orientation.

As if a rain pour was not enough, last night You sent us a storm. I collapsed into bed early because I was exhausted from spending ten hours at the rehab center with my dad. I was so tired that I must have fallen asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. It didn't matter that both Chabeli and Alex were out. I entrusted them to You and I passed out.

At midnight, the phone rang. It's always bad news when the phone rings at that time. I noticed in the caller ID that it was Alex. I answered and in my stupor from coming out of a deep sleep, all I heard was: "We went egging... We hit a car... We are being chased... They threw a rock... Police... Please come... You can scream at me later but I need you now." I threw myself from the bed, forgot I had a broken knee so almost felt, and at least had the good sense to ask him: "where are you?"

My very "smart" kid who just graduated "cum laude" from high school, had nothing better to do so he decided to go throw eggs at moving cars. Not on his own of course. He was joined by two, also very "smart" friends. They hit a car which immediately did a U-turn and began to chase them through the streets of Miami for about twenty minutes. They were speeding, running through red lights and stop signs... It must have looked like the movie "Fast and Furious." But Jesus, thank You for protecting them because they could have ended up in a really bad accident. Apparently, at one point the other car blocked them, two men got out of the car, grabbed a rock and threw it at them. They had to drive on top of the sidewalk to get away. The car continued chasing them until they saw a police officer and flagged him to stop. They told the police officer that the other car was chasing them and throwing rocks at them, but they forgot to mention that they had started it all by throwing an egg at the other car. That's when Alex got real scared and he called us.

When Rafe got there, he went to the police and he introduced himself. The two men wanted to press charges. Rafe was able to calm them down. Eventually, they said: "we don't want to ruin their lives but we also don't want the paint in our car to be ruined." If Rafe had not been there, the boys would have been taken to jail. He told the two men that they would be reimbursed for any damages to their car. They also went to a car wash at that hour of the night, and the three boys washed the men's car. It all ended up with a traffic ticket and a dent on Alex's friend's car from the rock. It could have been so much worst. Thank You, Jesus, for protecting them. I hope they learn the lesson, but just in case, Alex is punished for the rest of the summer. His car has been confiscated. He can only use it to drive to his summer job at the Belen camp, and to drive me, since I cannot drive because of my fractured knee. I just got myself a private chauffeur. 

Jesus, please, can You send us some sunshine? If You are going to continue sending storms our way, please wake me up when 2013 is over. Hibernation sounds really good right about now.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 20, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I'm stressed out just from reading my 2013 journal. That was one tough year. But we survived it, with your help. The sun eventually came out and the storms subsided. Thank You for teaching us how to dance in the rain.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: You Laugh at my Plans

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11

June 8, 2013

Dear Jesus:

This past month we celebrated Alex's graduation. The celebrations began in April with the Baccalaureate mass, followed by the Senior-Parent-Faculty banquet, the prom and the actual graduation on May 30th. Rafi and Emily joined us on May 25th so we decided to have an early graduation celebration on Sunday the 26th with a pool party. Excellent decision. If we had waited til the following weekend, Alex would not have had a graduation party.

I had planned the week to the last minute detail. I guess I still have not learned the lesson that You laugh at my plans. The plans for Tuesday were to go to Miami Beach, watch the movie "The Great Gatsby" and have dinner at Yard Bird in Lincoln Road. But "el hombre propone y Dios dispone." You had a different plan for us.

At 5:45 am my mom called to say that my dad was shivering uncontrollably. I rushed to their home in Miami Beach and we took him to Mercy Hospital. He was admitted with an urinary tract infection. They gave him a private room overlooking the bay and La Ermita de la Caridad. I felt that he was where he needed to be.

I left the hospital around 3 pm. As soon as I got home, I grabbed a slice of pizza. I was starving because I had skipped lunch. No sooner had I taken a bite when my phone rang. My dad was being transferred to ICU because his blood pressure had dropped to 68/37. I dropped the pizza and ran to my room. I began to cry because I felt like it was my in-laws all over again. They both left us earlier this year and that was exactly how they died. Their blood pressure dropped and in the blink of an eye they were gone.

Chabeli found me crying in the room. She hugged me and encouraged me to remain positive. I returned to the hospital with all the kids in tow. We got there just as they were moving my dad into ICU. That night, he said he had a lot of pain on his left foot. But other than that, when we left, he was stable.

On Wednesday, we had four tickets to go to the Marlins game. I stayed at the hospital so Chabeli took my place and went with Rafe, Rafi and Emily. My dad continued complaining of pain on his left foot so they ordered a sonogram and a scan of the leg. When I left that night, he was stable. I decided that unless things changed, there was no need for me to go to the hospital on Thursday. I would take a break and enjoy Alex's graduation. In retrospect, I realize now that You got involved and gave us the day off. Even my mom was able to attend.

The graduation ceremony was absolutely beautiful. I enjoyed every moment. I was so proud of my baby boy. He graduated "Cum Laude." All 201 members of his class were present. The place was packed and all the parents were glowing. Father Willie, who had been sent to the Dominican Republic, came for the graduation. The minute he entered, the entire auditorium broke into applause. We love him and miss him. Please Jesus, bring him back to Belen where he belongs. After the ceremony we took lots of pictures. I was saddened by the fact that my dad was not there. He would have enjoyed seeing his younger grandson graduate from Belen, his Alma Matter.

The following morning I headed to the hospital. My mom was already there and she told me that they were going to perform an angiogram on my dad's left leg because they thought that maybe he had an obstruction. It was scheduled for 3 pm and could take about two hours. When they took him, my mom and I went to the chapel to pray. At 4 pm, the doctor came out. He told us that my dad had a thrombosis on his left leg. He was not able to unclog it and more than likely, my dad's leg would have to be amputated. My mom and I looked at each other and we just hugged.

I called Rafe to tell him what was happening. I also said a prayer to You: "Please, save my dad's leg." From that point on, You were in control. We found out that the top cardiovascular surgeons were at Baptist. The wheels were set in motion with the help of some angels that You sent our way, and Saturday morning he was transferred to Baptist. When we arrived, the team of surgeons was waiting for him. They performed an ultrasound, and the director of the cardiovascular center came to talk to us. He said that there was a vein that looked clear and that he was pretty certain that they could perform a bypass surgery to save his leg. The 3-hour operation began at 12:30, and they saved his leg. Thank You, Jesus. He spent a week at the hospital and last night he was transferred to a rehab center. That's where we are today but that's a story for another day.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 19, 2017

Thank You Jesus for placing the right doctors in our path who were able to save my dad's leg. Thank You for giving us a day to enjoy Alex's graduation. Thank You for always being by our side.

Thank You for teaching me that I should not plan my life to the last minute detail. Every time I do that, You laugh at my plans. You are in charge. You are in control.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for The Kisses

"Pain and suffering have come to your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus-a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you." 

St. Teresa of Calcutta

May 21, 2016

Dear Jesus:

I was supposed to attend the Spiritual Exercises this weekend. Instead, I'm on retreat at the hospital. I guess this is where You needed me to be.

My dad's health has rapidly deteriorated in the past two months. The doctors have found a mass in his lower intestine. Yesterday, we made the decision to put him in hospice until You decide to take him to his heavenly home. Please, Jesus, don't let him suffer indefinitely. Thank You for placing Samantha in our path. I pray that she will be a good caretaker for my dad. And I pray that she in turn will be happy with him and my mom. And I pray that we also find someone good for the evenings and the weekends.

Rafi and Emily arrive in a week. Please allow Rafi to be able to see his grandfather alive. In ten days, we are supposed to go on a family vacation to New Orleans and Seaside for Phillip and Alex's wedding. I don't want to be selfish but You know how hard it is for us to coordinate a family vacation nowadays. It's just one week. Please Jesus, give us a little break and allow us to share this time together with the kids. So please, help me to resolve my dad's care so I can leave with just a little bit of worry.

On a different note, my parents received communion today for the first time in 50 years. Since their previous marriages were never annulled, they have not been allowed to receive your body and blood. Just between You and me, I think it's ridiculous. Father Gabriel deemed it fine that they could receive it today. What a beautiful gift to give them on this year of mercy.

Please give my mom the strength and the patience to handle what is ahead of her. Have mercy on my dad and grant him everlasting life. And give me the wisdom to make the right decisions for my dad. Have mercy on him. Have mercy on his soul.

Mother Teresa, pray for my dad.

I love You, Jesus!!! Thank You for the kisses!!!

June 14, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My dad left us a year ago today. I certainly hope that You have welcomed him into his heavenly home already and that he has been able to meet You face to face. If he's still in purgatory then we are all in deep trouble because that means that it takes a long time to be purified. Of course, You don't measure time the way we do, but I would like to think that he is already with You. He was such a good, gentle and humble man that if he's not with You yet, there's not much chance for the rest of us.

Thank You for taking him so fast and minimizing his suffering. His last weeks were very tough for him and for my mom. He was bedridden and we had to do everything for him. It broke my heart to see him in that shape. But thank You for sending us some good angels: Samantha, Graciela, and a few others that helped out on the weekends. They were a great help to my mom. And they allowed us to be able to keep him at home until the very end. He passed away at home and in peace. Thank You for that gift.

Before he passed away, You gave me the gift of allowing me to spend one week with all the kids and Rafe in NOLA and Seaside. We shared some wonderful adventures and some delicious meals, including the famous beignets. Philip and Alex's wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was great to be able to share such a joyous day with the Ingelmo's. We have known them for over 20 years and we share a great friendship.

Thank You for giving Rafi the opportunity to see his grandfather alive one last time. Since he got to see how bad he was doing, it made saying "good-bye" a little easier.

My mom has done pretty good this first year. She is one strong lady, even though I'm sure she's had her tough moments in private. As she says: "the nights are the hardest." Please be with her so she doesn't feel lonely.

My dad accepted your kisses of pain and suffering with love, dignity and without ever complaining. Help me to learn from him and whatever cross I must carry in the future, help me to accept it with a smile and to always be grateful for the kisses.

St. Teresa, pray for us!!!

I love You, Jesus!!! Thank You for the kisses!!!

Letters to Heaven: Buried under a Pile of Paper

"Then there's the joy of getting your desk clean, and knowing that all your letters are answered, and you can see the wood on it again." ~Lady Bird Johnson

June 12, 2014

Dear Jesus:

I have been going through piles and piles of papers, throwing away what is garbage, filing what is important and sorting them out. I made the commitment to myself that I would not stop until I sorted out a full pile. I have this tendency to start a project but not finish it. I made it through two full piles. But when I got to the third one, I just had to stop.

Is this normal? Does this happen to other people or does it happen only to me? I get overwhelmed by the mountains of paper. I feel like it never ends. When I think I'm done and everything is in it's place, it starts all over again.

Every day, the mail brings loads and loads of paper. It's mostly garbage, but it still requires that I take a look. Then there's the credit card receipts. And all the papers associated with the house. That's the pile that I just couldn't get through. I had to stop. I felt like I was drowning.

Sometimes I feel like I'm way over my head. Dealing with household issues has always been difficult for me. I see other women that it comes easy to them. They handle the plumber, the gardener, the handyman... without any problem. I get overwhelmed. I don't know if it's my "peacemaker" personality that doesn't deal well with conflicts and obstacles, but when things don't go smoothly, I suffocate. And they never go smoothly. Something is always bound to go wrong.

Breathe, Christy, breathe. You can do this. One day at a time. One paper at a time. One problem at a time.

Help me Jesus!!!

June 12, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I remember when receiving mail was a pleasure. I would actually look forward to it. As soon as the mail arrived, I would rush to the mailbox to see if it brought me a letter from my friends in Spain, or pictures of my family in Cuba, or an invitation to a party. Now, when the mail arrives, I don't even move. Once I finally pick it up, usually after it sits in the mailbox for a few hours, I glance at it and throw it in a basket. Right now, I have about two to three weeks of mail sitting in that basket. And every day, I look at it, and I put off going through it. I literally dread it. Ninety percent of its contents will end up in the recycling bin. And the other ten percent will be bad news: bills to pay, a warning that my credit card on file has expired, or a notice that I have to go to jury duty. The days of treasured mail are over. Today, we don't receive letters, we receive emails. We don't receive pictures by mail, we get them through Facebook. And invitations come through Evite or Facebook events. Well, except for weddings. At least for now, wedding invitations are still printed and cherished.

Eventually, the mail altogether will be obsolete. It will follow the same path as a paper map, the printed yellow pages and developed pictures. But for now, I better tackle that mountain of mail sitting in that basket, or else, I'm going to be buried under a pile of paper. Again!

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Sitting in the Waiting Room

"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." 

Isaiah 40:31

June 10, 2014

Dear Jesus:

In the book I'm reading now, "You'll Get Through This," Max Lucado says that "this world is a waiting room." I like his analogy because I think it's so true.

What are we doing here? We are waiting. We are waiting until that moment when we get to see your face. How long will it take? We don't know. But while we wait, we are not alone. You sit with us. You wait with us.

Sometimes the waiting is pleasant. We are having a good time. Everything is going our way. But many times, the waiting is very unpleasant. And sometimes, it's very painful. But while we wait, You work. That is why we can never give up.

In the story of Joseph, which is what Mr. Lucado used as the backdrop for his book, Joseph waited for a very long time. First, he waited at the bottom of the cistern until his brothers decided what to do with him. Then he waited during the auction to see who would buy him. Then, while he was in prison, he waited, waited, waited. And while he waited, You were at work. You were putting all the players in place so that your plan could unfold.

So Jesus, help me to be patient because I tend to be very impatient. I know that You are working in each of my children's lives. You are working on Rafi and leading him on the right path. I know that one day he will find the courage to share his story with others. You are working on Chabeli and if her vocation is marriage, You will lead her to the man that You have already chosen for her. And Alex will find his true vocation and You will lead him towards that field of study.

I'm waiting, Jesus!!! Patiently sitting in the waiting room.

June 10, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Here I am!!! Waiting for Alex to arrive from Europe. Thank You for keeping him and his friends safe while they were over there.

Rafi is starting to open up. He's sharing his story at work, he's helping others that are walking in his same shoes, and he's attending a conference in August with other people that suffer from his same illness. It took eight years, but the waiting and the praying paid off. Thank You, Jesus. All in your time, not mine.

You led Chabeli to a wonderful young man that adores her, and she's truly happy with him. I prayed for him, and He was your choice for her. You knew exactly what she needed and You found the right young man for her. Thank You, Jesus, for making my girl happy.

And Alex found the right career. It took a few bumps and bruises, but he will be doing an internship this summer in his field of study, and if it's Your will, he will graduate in December with his bachelor's degree.

I know that I'm very impatient but I also know, that You know exactly what my children need. And while I wait in the waiting room, You are at work in their lives. Thank You for always having their best interest at heart.

I love You, Jesus!!! Please keep Alex and his friends safe as they return home from an amazing trip. Here I am, patiently sitting in the waiting room. 

Letters to Heaven: Give Thanks

"Give thanks in all circumstances." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

June 9, 2014

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for everything!!! I have so much to be thankful for.

My dad's surgery was a success. Thank You!!! I know it's a bit early to be celebrating victory, but I know in my heart that You are in control. He hasn't even felt pain. He felt more pain with the biopsies. Thank You for not allowing him to suffer more than necessary.

Thank You for this amazing world that You have given us. Here I am, sitting by the pool, looking at the beautiful ocean, listening to the waves crashing at the seashore. What more can I ask for?

Thank You for my wonderful, handsome husband of 30 years who works very hard to provide for all of us. He is an amazing father and husband.

Thank You for the gift of my children. Thank You for choosing me to be their mother.

Thank You for the gift of faith. I can't imagine my life without You in it.

Thank You for my community of faith. When I'm too overwhelmed to pray, they do the praying for me.

Thank You for people like Max Lucado who share their gift of writing by inspiring so many to follow You. His book "You'll Get Through This" has been a great help for me since I found out that my dad was diagnosed with a malignant angiosarcoma. And now, it turns out, that it's the book that Claire chose for our summer book club. I'm so excited.

Thank You, Jesus. You are amazing. I love You so much.

June 9, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for everything!!! I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank You for giving me two additional years with my dad after he was diagnosed with a malignant angiosarcoma.

Thank You for the beautiful and perfect world that You created for us.

Thank You for my hubby and my children. Thank You for my family.

Thank You for my faith and for my community. Thank You for the amazing group of women that You have placed in my life. They are the sisters that I never had.

Thank You for the Bible classes that have taught me so much about You, about our Blessed Mother, about the saints and about all the apostles.

Thank You for the tough times because they have made me stronger.

Thank You, Jesus, for always being by my side.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Choose the Better Part

"In these two women, who were both well pleasing to the Lord... the two lives are symbolized: our present life, and the life to come; the life of labor, and the life of quiet; the life of sorrow, and the life of blessedness; the life of this world, and the life of eternity. These are the two lives we each have... In Martha is the image of things present, in Mary of things to come. What Martha is doing, we do now; what Mary is doing, we hope to do. Let us do the first life well, so that we may have the second life to the fullest." St. Augustine

June 8, 2010

Dear Jesus:

Today I attended a study of a book titled "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." I used to be very much like Martha. Always doing things, running around, trying to do everything perfectly. Little by little, though, I have been shifting and now, there's a lot of Mary inside of me. I am finally learning to choose the better part, which is basically to sit at your feet and just enjoy your company.

I am more mellow, less frantic. I am more at peace. You lead my life so I don't need to worry so much, the way I used to worry about everything. Thank You for showing me the way.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 27, 2010

Dear Jesus:

This weekend I have been a Martha and I am exhausted. Now I know that Mary definitely chose the better part. I much rather be a Mary but once in a while, I have no choice, I have to be a Martha.

Tomorrow, we are tenting the house because we have termites. We've had to take all the food, medicines, plants and perishables out of the house. We also have to leave the house. All weekend we've been packing and moving things to my office. And that is why I'm so tired. I am not a happy camper but I offer my tiredness for those that don't have a home. Life is not a piece of cake but with the right attitude, we can make the best of it.

After the tenting is done and the house is clean, we can enjoy ten days at the beach. We rented an apartment starting tomorrow at Hallandale Beach.

I'm tired, Jesus. Good night. I love You!!!

June 8, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I have been trying to find a balance between being a Mary and a Martha. But Martha keeps winning. It's hard to make time to sit at your feet, but at least I try to do it once a week. I enjoy my quiet times with You. I enjoy spending time with You. But as St. Augustine says, I won't be able to be a full time Mary until the life to come. So for now, I will try to be the best Martha I can be, so that eventually, I can choose the better part for all eternity.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Yesterday I Cried

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." —Psalm 112:7

June 1, 2010

Dear Jesus:

I just finished reading a book titled "Yesterday I Cried." It's a very strong book but with a very powerful lesson. No matter what has happened in my life, no matter how hard the past has been, if I trust You and I place my life in your hands, I can look to the future and walk forward.

I have to stop worrying so much about others, especially my children. They also belong to You. You are the one in charge of their lives, not me. I have been the link between You and them. I have guided them, taught them, and protected them. Now, I must release them. Rafi will leave in a week, Chabeli in three months, and Alex in three years. You will take care of them because You have a plan for each of them.

So no more crying. No more worrying. Yesterday I cried. Yesterday I worried. Today, I trust in You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 7, 2017

Dear Jesus:

A good lesson. I need to apply it daily. You have taught me that You are in control. But I still worry. And I still cry. Please teach me to trust You, every single day.

Alex is in Europe with six friends. I try not to worry, but it's hard when the news are constantly bombarding us with all the terror attacks that are happening over there. But You are showing me daily that You are protecting them. They left London right before the attack this past weekend. They were in Notre Dame on Monday, not on Tuesday when there was another threat. I know the guardian angels are protecting all seven of them, and yet, I'm counting the days until they are safely back in Miami.

Rafi lives in New York, another target city. But I trust You. You are in control.

And Chabeli is constantly out and about in busy Miami, driving amidst the crazy drivers. But I trust You. You are in control.

So no more crying. No more worrying. Yesterday I cried. Yesterday I worried. Today, I trust in You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

LTH during the Easter Season: Holy Spirit, Thank You for my Fruit Salad

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." —Romans 15:13

June 8, 2014

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for this day. Thank You for all your blessings. Thank You for loving me so much that You died in the cross for me. Thank You for leaving us the Holy Spirit to guide us.

Thank You for the family that You chose for me. Thank You for Rafe. We've been married almost 30 years. Thank You for crossing our paths. He's been at my side through thick and thin.

Thank You for the gift of each of my children. Each one has brought a special flavor to our fruit salad. Rafi is the pineapple. I've tasted the most sour pineapples and the sweetest pineapples. It's the same with Rafi. He's brought me the sweetest moments and the greatest pains. Even though I don't know until I bite it if I'm going to enjoy a sweet pineapple or if my eyes will water from the sour taste, I still love pineapples. And I love my Rafi. I would not change him at all. I love him just the way he is. Thank You for choosing me to be his mom. It's been a privilege and an honor.

Chabeli is the apple. She's the apple of Rafe's eyes. But more than that, she's solid, she's consistent, she's strong and she's stable. She's brought balance and stability to our salad. She says it like it is. She speaks her heart out and she's solid at the core. I'm so proud of my Chabeli. She has blossomed into a beautiful apple. She's smart, a hard worker, caring... She has attitude and she is a strong woman. She has faith in You but her faith in the Catholic Church is wavering. We need to work on that. I love my girl. Thank You for the gift of her and for picking me to be her mama. Help me to be there for her always.

Alex is the banana of our salad. Always consistent. Always happy. Always tastes good. I'm never afraid to bite a banana because I always know it's going to taste delicious. It's comfort food. And it's the same with Alex. He's my simple, no nonsense child. Yes, he's given us a few small heart attacks, especially last summer, but all in all, he's brought us a lot of joy and peace. He's about to finish his first year of college and it's been good. Really good. No scary phone calls or health issues. The worst thing that happened was that his clothing got stolen from the laundry room. Big deal. Thank You, Jesus, for my sweet banana. I love him so much. He will forever be my most treasured Christmas gift. Thank You for sending him to us and for choosing me to be his mom.

Thank You for my parents and the rest of my family. I grew up as an only child. I always wanted a sibling. But I can't complain because You have blessed me with a very large and lovely extended family. I would like to pray for all of them. 

Please grant my Rafe good health and lots of patience. Please give my pineapple health of mind, body and spirit. I pray that my apple finds her soul mate. And I pray that my banana finds his true passion and vocation. And for my parents, I pray for health and acceptance of Your will. And for the rest of my family members, may they be at peace. And for myself, I pray that I can enjoy the simple things in life and that I don't get so overwhelmed with nonsense.

I pray for all those that are sick and in need of your mercy. I pray for all those that don't have anyone to pray for them. I pray for all the souls in purgatory. I pray for vocations. And I pray for the intentions of your Blessed Mother.

Holy Spirit, thank You for my fruit salad!! 

June 4, 2017

Dear Holy Spirit:

Thank You for guiding me all these years. Thank You for inspiring me to write. Thank You for giving me the courage to share the Good News. And thank You for my fruit salad.