“I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26
On January 6th, we lost our nephew and godson. It’s taken me all this time to find the strength amidst the pain to write about it. But I feel I need to do this in order to honor his memory.
I met Norlys when he was four years old. He arrived from Cuba in 1984, together with his six year old brother and his parents. He was funny, mischievous, sweet and loving. He had a soft spot for his uncle, and I had a soft spot for him. Rafe and I were honored when his parents asked us to be his godparents.
As young newlyweds without kids, we loved taking Yordys and Norlys places. We have memories of taking them to the Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, parks, the beach and other fun places.
We got our first dog, Brandy, in 1986, and I remember how much Norlys loved that dog.
As a teenager and young adult, Norlys found his passion in martial arts. He pursued it all the way until he got his black belt. He even taught for a while. He was also very smart and dedicated to his studies. He obtained a Bachelor’s degree from FIU in Business Administration. He then landed a great job with State Farm.
This past weekend, my kids came over to be with the family and celebrate their cousin’s life. They were reminiscing how even though he was a decade or more older than they were, he always made time to play with them. My youngest, Alex, who is 15 years younger than Norlys, loved to sleep over because he enjoyed playing video games with his older cousins.
While Norlys was still working at State Farm, we began to notice some strange behaviors. This caused him to lose his job. Eventually, at the age of 29, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
While navigating the world of mental illness, we learned how broken the system is. Instead of helping people who suffer from this horrible illness, it creates barriers that are sometimes impossible to overcome. Most of the best psychiatrists don’t accept insurance because the insurance companies don’t pay them enough. This obviously doesn’t help the majority of the people that cannot afford to pay the fees that could provide them with the best possible treatment. If an adult patient doesn’t consent for another person to make decisions for them, not even the parents can help. Even though the patient may not be in the right state of mind to make decisions for themselves, the system completely blocks anyone else from helping them out.
The last fourteen years were a rollercoaster ride for Norlys. He struggled with the fact that what he had was an illness. He bounced from doctor to doctor, sometimes getting the right treatment and other times being short changed.
On January 6th, he left his home early in the morning. By noon, his mom was very worried because she could not get a hold of him, and it was strange that he would leave his seven month Alaskan puppy by himself for so long. At 3:30 pm, the police showed up to confirm her worst fears. Norlys was gone.
We have spent the last ten days asking ourselves if there was anything else we could have done. And we come back with the same answer every time. He was an adult and we couldn’t force him to get the help he needed. Trying to convince him when in his mind he was getting better was impossible. All we have left now are the memories and the conviction that he is in a better place where he is not suffering any longer.
His older brother asked us to “remember Norlys for who he was, not how he acted because of his mental health.” And that’s what we will do. We will always remember the sweet boy that stole our hearts, the teenager that took the time to play with his younger cousins, the young adult that loved martial arts, and the adult that tried so hard to make the world a better place by spending his days taking food and bibles to the homeless.
Rest in peace dear Norlys. You were taken from us much too soon, but we will never forget you.
We love you forever!!!
🙏🏻
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