God is Challenging Me to Surrender

“We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can - namely, surrender our will and fulfill God’s will in us.” St. Teresa of Avila

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve had a lot on my plate these past two months, and I’ve pushed writing to the bottom of my priority list. 

As a devoted planner, surrendering my plans to God is never easy. I do pray before making any life altering decisions. I spend time in silence trying to ponder which is the best path to take. But sometimes, separating God’s voice from the rest of the noise going on around me is not that easy. When I think I figured out exactly what it is that God wants from me, He throws me a curve ball and I realize that the straight line path I had carved for myself, has turned into the road to Hana.

Back in 2006, I visited Hawaii with my family, and we decided to drive the infamous road to Hana. This is a winding, 52-mile narrow road, with over 600 curves and 50 one-lane bridges. As much as I wanted to enjoy the breathtaking views of waterfalls, lush vegetation and forests, I was holding on to the door handle until my knuckles turned white. On the way there, we did stop various times to take pictures and to swim in the Seven Sacred Pools. This gave me some much needed time to catch my breath, and appreciate all the beauty surrounding me.

On the way back, though, we had no plans to stop. My husband, being a lifetime Miami driver not used to all these turns and curves, was driving very slowly and carefully. Pretty soon, we were the leaders of a long caravan of dozens of cars. As we came upon a curve, we heard a big loud noise coming from the opposite direction. It sounded like a runaway train. As we took the curve, we found ourselves in front of a huge truck with two more behind it. There was no way we could both fit on that narrow road. The driver of the first truck got off and told us that we had to drive in reverse until we got to a wider part of the road. We looked back and saw the caravan of cars with no end in sight. The truck driver realized his predicament. The next alternative was to move the car as close as possible to the side of the road (luckily we were on the mountain side, not the precipice), push the side view mirrors to the inside, and hope the trucks would make it without falling down the steep rock on their side. My husband began to walk to the cars behind us to give them the same instructions that we had just received. My kids were all excited with this unexpected adventure. I was just praying we could make it out alive and before it got dark.

After this nerve-racking experience, I was happy never to take another twisting road again. The boring Florida turnpike is good enough for me. And it’s the same with my life. I like it when everything goes down a straight and wide path. Unfortunately, life never seems to go that way. So I have found myself these past two months riding a rollercoaster with no end in sight. I have realized that I’m having a really hard time discerning what God wants from me. I thought I had it all figured out, but apparently I was totally wrong. Please keep me in your prayers so I can distinguish God’s voice amongst so many others trying to misdirect me. Just like I made it out unscathed from the road to Hana, I hope I can make it out unblemished from this whole ordeal. And I know that the first step is to surrender all my plans to God.

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