Letters to Heaven: Lord, Give me Patience

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” —Matthew 11:28–30

January 31, 2008

Dear Jesus:

I have tried to keep the commitment that I made a few weeks ago, which was to separate half an hour of my day just for You. I have succeeded most days but there were a few that I failed You. It's so hard to be a wife, a mother, an accountant, a housewife, a teacher, a writer, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a woman... There are so many demands on me, on my time, on my person... And I want to please everyone. I don't like to say "no" to anyone. Sometimes I feel that I can't handle it all. By the end of the day, I'm so exhausted, and I lose my temper easily with those I love most, my husband and my children.

I like a prayer written by Mother Angelica: "Lord, give me patience. It was a beautiful part of your life. I need patience to use every spare moment to speak to You, to love You, and to meditate on your attributes. Let me see the time I waste. Let me see waiting as the extra time allotted to me by your infinite wisdom, to make me holy. Lord Jesus, hold my temper in your hands so I may not give it to others."

I love You, Jesus!!!  Please give me patience!!!

January 31, 2017

I made the same commitment this year and the exact same thing happened. I managed it most days but there were others when life's responsibilities just got the best of me. Even though I have more time now that the kids are all grown up, my business has also grown so I'm spending more time at the office than I did when they were younger.

You must be up in heaven saying what my hubby tells me all the time: "Excuses, excuses, excuses."  And You are right. I find time for what I want to find time. Therefore, not finding a half hour for You is just a poor excuse. After all, each day is made up of 48 half-hours.

I promise that I will try harder in February. Just be patient with me and give me patience to make time for what is truly important.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Mama Mary, Teach me to Trust like You

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:6–7

January 27, 2010

Dear Mama Mary:

It's been a while since I have addressed you directly. I have you in my heart and in my thoughts all the time. I have prayed plenty of Hail Mary's in the past nine months, but I have not written you a letter in a very long time.

I am anxious. My heart is filled with worry. Rafi returns to Princeton tomorrow. His journey in Princeton has been anything but simple. It's been rocky and rough, full of curves, bumps, hills and valleys. Please Mother, continue to take care of him. I know you were with him during both hospitalizations. I know that you didn't abandon him. You stayed by his side until I got there. You interceded for him with your Son Jesus. I ask you one more time to look out for him. Please protect him.

Mama Mary, I admire you so much. How did you withstand the pain? How were you able to survive the anguish of seeing your Son on the cross? How were you able to keep your anxiety under control? The only thing I can think of is that you kept your eyes on God. You trusted Him fully and that helped you to keep your fear without taking control of your life. Your life was filled with trust in God. You became his instrument. You did not question him, you just obeyed him. Mama Mary, teach me to trust like you.

I must trust God fully, even when I don't understand. I am worried and I am afraid, but I must trust God. I know in my heart that He has Rafi's best interest in His heart and that if He is leading him back to Princeton is because that's where He wants him to be. I have faith that God knows what He is doing and my role is to submit to His plan, just like you submitted to His plan 2,000 years ago.

Rafi is not mine. He belongs to God. Just like Jesus was not yours. He belonged to the Father. God gave Rafi to me to raise him and to take care of him for a few years. Now, I must release him to God so His plan can be manifested in him. I don't understand what God's plan is exactly, but I trust and release him to God. 

Please Mama Mary, help me to develop patience, understanding, confidence and trust. Help me to listen to God's voice just like you did. Mama Mary, lead me to your Son. Teach me to trust. And please, protect my children when I'm far away from them.

I love you, Mama Mary!!!

January 27, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

Life is so much easier when we allow God to take charge. And yet, releasing my children into His hands is probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to do as a mother. I keep this anxious grip on them, ALL the time. And He has shown me, over and over again, that He has their best interest at heart. He desires their happiness just as much as I do. He protects them even more than I possibly could. Every time they have fallen, He has caught them. He will never abandon them.

Of course, I'm preaching to the choir because you, Mama Mary, know this better than anyone. You knew that God would take care of my Rafi when he returned to Princeton. And you also knew that's where he needed to be. Even though his first two years were marked with severe health issues, the last two were filled with graces. He met Emily, his soon-to-be wife. He changed career paths and found his passion in Computer Engineering. He graduated with a great job offer. And next year, he will return to Princeton to get married there.

I have learned, with your help, that we have to let go of our fears, trust God, and release our children into His hands. He will always catch them because they belong to Him. And you have shown me, that you are always by their side. When I'm not present, you are. You always protect them.

Thank you, Mama Mary!!! I love you with all my heart!!!

Letters to Heaven: When Tomorrow Starts Without a Loved One

January 24, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Last night we celebrated the resurrection mass for Rafael Sr. All the grandchildren were heartbroken. They all had to say good-bye to a grandparent for the first time. Some kept the pain inside, but some just couldn't hold it and were inconsolable. It broke my heart because they are still too young to comprehend that this is not the end, it's just the beginning. Their grandfather's life on earth has ended but his life on heaven is just beginning.

Rafi gave me a book for Christmas titled "Proof of Heaven" by Eben Alexander MD. There is a beautiful poem in the book titled "When Tomorrow Starts Without Me." We used it in the memorial bookmarks that were given out:

When tomorrow starts without me


And I’m not here to see


If the sun should rise and find your eyes


All filled with tears for me



I wish you wouldn’t cry 


The Way you did today


While thinking of the many things


We did not get to say



I know how much you love me


As much as I love you


Each time that you think of me


I know you will miss me too



When tomorrow starts without me


Please try to understand


That an angel came and called my name


And took me by the hand



The angel said my place was ready


In heaven far above


And That I would have to leave behind


All those I Dearly Love



But When I walked through Heaven’s Gates


I felt so much at home


When GOD looked down and smiled at me 


From his golden throne



He said This Is Eternity


And All I promised you


Today for life on earth is done


But Here it starts anew

I promise no tomorrow 


For today will always last


And Since each day’s the exact same way


There is no longing for the past



So When Tomorrow starts without me


Do not think we’re apart


For every time you think of me 


Remember I’m right here in your heart 

Author: David M Romano

Rafael will live in our hearts until we meet once again in heaven. In the meantime, I hope You will enjoy having deep conversations with him about Cuba, politics and life in general. Heaven has gained a wise and gentle soul.

I love You, Jesus!!!

January 24, 2017

Dear Jesus:

When tomorrow starts without a loved one, it's very hard for those left behind. Since Rafael's passing, my children have had to say good-bye to two more grandparents. And it's been tough every single time. But as the poem says, I truly believe that "when we walk through heaven's gates, we will feel at home." I certainly hope that You will be there to welcome us inside. Tomorrow on earth is not certain, but You have promised us eternity. And I know that is where our loved ones are, sharing eternity with You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: St. Anthony to the Rescue

"St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come down, something is lost and can't be found."

January 22, 2011

Dear Jesus:

We are three weeks into the New Year and I want to thank You for all the blessings that You have bestowed upon us. You are such an awesome God and I love You so much. You answer my prayers in small things as well as big things. Last night Rafi arrived flawlessly in spite of the freezing temperatures and the snow conditions up north. Thank You Jesus for always looking out for him. Rafael went to the airport to pick him up. I was going to go too but in the last minute I decided that it was not necessary for both of us to go. I had things to do at home, so I stayed behind putting away the clean laundry and picking up the house.

As soon as they got home, Rafi realized that he didn't have the bookbag with him. And his computer was inside the bookbag. On our way back to the airport (this time I went with them), I prayed to You and to St. Anthony. I have always heard that St. Anthony is good at finding lost items so I asked for his intercession. But deep inside, I knew that the chances of finding that bookbag were slim to none. Yet I also know that nothing is impossible for You.

Rafi was pretty sure that he had left the bookbag where Rafael was sitting down by the luggage carousel. When we got to the airport, almost an hour after they had left, Rafael and Rafi got off and I went to park. I had only driven a few feet when Rafael called me to say that they had found the bookbag. Rafi had been right, the bookbag was exactly where he thought he had left it. When they got there, a young guy was next to it and he was peeking inside it. Rafi told him, "that's my bookbag." The guy said, "I'm from the FBI." Obviously, he was just kidding.

Rafi thinks that if we had arrived five minutes later, the guy would have taken the bookbag. Maybe he's right, I don't know. I have a different theory, though. I think that he was the angel that You sent out to guard the bookbag. In the end, it really doesn't matter. Rafi found the bookbag and for that, I am very grateful.

Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, St. Anthony!

January 22, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Poor St. Anthony. He must be tired of always helping people find all sorts of things, from the serious ones to the benign. I was curious as to how he became the patron saint of lost items so I decided to "Google" it. (How did we manage without "Google" just a few years ago?). Anyway, this is what I found at https://www.stanthony.org/st-anthony-of-padua/:

"The reason for invoking St. Anthony’s help in finding lost or stolen things is traced back to an incident in his own life. As the story goes, Anthony had a book of psalms that was very important to him. A novice who had already grown tired of living religious life decided to depart the community. He also took Anthony’s psalter! Upon realizing his psalter was missing, Anthony prayed it would be found or returned to him. And after his prayer, the thieving novice was moved to return the psalter to Anthony and to return to the Order, which accepted him back. The stolen book is said to be preserved in the Franciscan friary in Bologna. Shortly after his death people began praying through Anthony to find or recover lost and stolen articles."

I must say that through his intercession, I have recovered many lost items from lost luggage to a lost cellphone. But I have never prayed to him to intercede for serious items like lost health.

St. Anthony of Padua, pray for all that have lost their health or their job or their mind or their faith or their country or their peace.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Help my Children Find their Own Way

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. —Romans 12:12

January 20, 2010

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, visiting You in the Blessed Sacrament. This is probably one of the hardest things that I have offered to do this year, but I am going to try not to falter. It's only one hour a month, I can do this. Even if the timing is pretty bad because You know I like to be comfy in my PJs already at this time. However, You have done so much for me, it's the least I can do for You.

I have so much to be thankful for. You have blessed my family and I in ways that make me feel so loved by You. I love You, Jesus, with all my heart. You gave your life for me. That's the ultimate sacrifice. And yet, when You ask me to sacrifice for You, I complain. I'm sorry Jesus, for my selfishness.

I just finished my homework for bible study. I specially liked the part that covered Isaac. Isaac had to walk his own journey. He had to find his way on his own. If Isaac, who was the chosen one, the son of Abraham, had to find his own path to You, I have to believe and have faith that my children will also find their own way. They are not mine, they are yours. I am only borrowing them for a little while. They are part of Your plan and I am just Your "handmaid." It's time to release them, especially the older two that are already 21 and 20. The younger one needs to remain under my wing for a little while longer. But I promise not to be an obstacle in Your plan. Do with them as You see fit.

It's time for me to go home. I'll be back next month.

I love You, Jesus!!! Good night.

January 20, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I'm sorry that I failed You in my commitment. Keeping that hourly appointment with You turned out to be much harder than I anticipated. Eventually, I just gave up trying. I visit You in the Blessed Sacrament every chance I get, but keeping a set time just didn't work out. The obstacles just kept getting in my way. But I know that You are everywhere, so I hope that for now, You are just happy if my time with You takes place in my living room.

Another thing that has turned out to be extremely hard for me is to release my children so they find their own way. I still want to take them by the hand and tell them what to do, especially if I feel that they are heading down the wrong path. But I have to trust You and I have to keep praying. Just like St. Monica never gave up praying for her son St. Augustine, I have to keep praying too.

Please Jesus, help my children find their own way. But please, make sure that their way leads them to You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: I Hand My Children Over to You

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30–31

January 16, 2008

Dear Jesus:

I was very tempted to skip praying today because I was running late. But I decided to give You fifteen minutes and what message You have given me:

"Early the next morning, Hannah and Elkanah worshipped before the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:19

Prayer was the first of Hannah and Elkanah's duties. So often, it is my last and most neglected duty. Prayer unites me to You in a communion of mind and heart. Prayer brings me peace and confidence that my day will go well.

"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted my request." 1 Samuel 1:27

This made me think of how much I prayed to have a child. Even though in my mind it took a very long time for me to conceive a child, I got pregnant exactly when I needed to get pregnant according to Your will. Each of my babies was born exactly on the day that they were meant to be born. How can I doubt then that You will take care of them? You knew them before they were born. You planned them. You perfected them. I know that You have plans for each one of them, and just like Hannah handed over her son Samuel to You, I hand over my children to You. 

"Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:28

I hand my children over to You, God, to do with them as You please. You have a plan for them. Let Your plan be manifested to them in Your time, not mine. Guide their steps. Help them make decisions according to Your will.

I love You, Jesus!!!

January 16, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's very hard for a mother to release her children to You, especially for a "helicopter" mom like me. Yes, I know that You love them more than I could ever love them, even though that is hard for me to comprehend because I don't know a greater love than a mother's love. I trust that You have their best interest at heart, but it would be nice if You shared Your plan for them with me. After all, You entrusted them to me. I would really appreciate it if You kept me in the loop.

It's tough to remain on the sidelines and not interfere with Your plans. But when I look back, I realize that Your plan was always better than mine. I would have preferred it if my boys had stayed a little closer to home when they went away to college. But I placed it on Your hands and they both ended up in the northeast. Their college years were tough, to say the least. But after a few bumps and bruises, Rafi graduated and now works for a great company in New York. And I can see your footprints alongside him every step of the way. In many instances, I only see your footprints so I know You were carrying him. Alex also had his share of bumps and bruises, especially this past year. But I trust You with him completely. Even though I would love to know where he will end up, I am stepping aside and leaving it in Your hands.

And my Chabeli stayed close to us the entire time. You led her to UM where she did amazing, and even though I didn't really want any of them to follow in my footsteps, she ended up studying accounting and she has a job that she really enjoys.

Now I'm entrusting them to You for the next stage in their lives, which is their vocation to marriage or religious life. Rafi is already engaged. Chabeli has a boyfriend. And Alex... I wish You would give me a glimpse into his future, but for now all I can do is trust You.

They are in Your hands, Jesus, all three of them. I hand my children over to You, like I've done all their life. Lead them down the path that You have chosen for them. And I pray that they will always have a gentle soul that seeks You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Help me Reach my Ultimate Goal

Lord, my God, bestow upon me an understanding that knows You, diligence in seeking You, wisdom in finding You, a way of life that is pleasing to You, perseverance that waits trustfully for You, and confidence that I shall embrace You at the last. Amen. St. Thomas Aquinas

January 12, 2012

Dear Jesus:

I can't believe it's been one month since I last wrote on this journal. A lot has happened in this last month. I am here this morning visiting You in the Blessed Sacrament. I have prayed the rosary. I have thanked You for all your blessings and I have placed my petitions at the foot of the cross.

Baby Nico went to heaven on December 13th. I know he's up there with You, playing with the angels. Please bring healing to his entire family. I went to the funeral mass. Even though it was very sad, it was also very beautiful. The faith and the love was palpable in the church. You were very much present there. Carolina, his young mom, spoke some beautiful words about her baby boy and they had a slide show of all his pictures. There was not a dry eye in that church. I hope that when we get to heaven, You will be able to explain to us why we have to endure so much pain here on earth.

As I was leaving the house before coming over to be with You, I grabbed "My Daily Bread" which I have not read in a couple of months. This is the message I received from You after reading just one page:

I want to live for the perfect happiness for which You created me. And I will find the perfect happiness when I reach heaven. That is my goal. My ultimate goal in life is heaven. Everything else is temporary. Everything I do must bear in mind my ultimate goal which is to reach heaven. Therefore, I have to be very careful that my thoughts, words and actions of each day are in union with You because You are the only one that knows the path to heaven. 

Everything I am and everything I have came from You. All my talents, gifts, and possessions were given to me by You. All the people in my life were placed there by You. Even my children came from You. You knew them before they were created and You picked me as their mother. What an honor and how much confidence You placed in me.

I love You so much Jesus. I could not conceive my life without You. I would not be able to walk one step on this earth if You were not guiding me. Everything I am and everything I possess, I offer it back to You. My mind, my talents, my whole being... I place it at Your disposal. I want to help You make this earth a better place. I want to help You improve Your kingdom. You are my King. I am your servant. Do with me what You want. Help me find my purpose. And help me to stay in the right path so that one day we can meet in heaven.

I do not comprehend why You took baby Nico so soon, but I do know for sure that he is up there in heaven with You. And for that, he is blessed. Baby Nico, pray for us. And guide your beautiful family to find their purpose here on earth, so that one day, they will reunite with you in heaven.

I love You, Jesus!!!

January 12, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's been five years since You took baby Nico up to heaven. And his family has definitely found their purpose. They are doing amazing things through Nico's Promise. That little angel did more in just three months than many people do in their entire lifetime. His family turned the most painful experience that anyone can go through into a beautiful labor of love. And You in turn have blessed them with the beautiful gift that is Bella Nicole.

We all have a purpose. Sometimes it takes a painful experience for us to find it. Other times, it stares us right in the face but we choose to ignore it. But unless we embrace our purpose here on earth, the reason why God created us, we will never find the perfect happiness.

I know what my purpose is. Help me to be obedient so I can reach my ultimate goal.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for Riding the Rollercoaster with Us

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. —Psalm 46:1

January 9, 2008

Dear Jesus:

As You well know, the end of 2007 was like an intense rollercoaster ride for our family. Our perfect little world was rocked to the core of our foundation. Our life was turned upside down and everything else took a back seat.

As I sit with You today, I can't help but think of Your mom. She had a tranquil and peaceful life until she received a message from an angel that would forever alter her existence. In her case, she had a choice. She could have said "no." She didn't. She said "yes" and she embarked on the scariest but most divine rollercoaster ride.

Life is like that. We plan and organize and all of a sudden, something happens that sends our plans out the window. All our organization crumbles and we find ourselves in total chaos and turmoil.

Now is that I feel that I'm getting a grasp of my life once again. I went through Christmas as if I was in the midst of a tornado. But I survived, my family came through and we became more united. We realized what was truly important and now we are ready to continue our journey through another year.

Through the moments of difficulty and distress, I held on to You and I saw Your hand at work in my life. You also sent me many angels to help me through the ordeal.

I praise You, Jesus, for the mercy You have shown me and my family. Thank You for keeping our family united and for being at the center of our lives. Thank you for riding the rollercoaster with us. 

I love You, Jesus!!!

January 9, 2017

Dear Jesus:

As I look back on my life, especially the last decade, I feel like I have constantly been on a rollercoaster ride. There was a time when life used to be pretty peaceful, like a boat ride along the river with an occasional waterfall. But this past decade has been quite intense. And You know that I don't like rollercoasters. I don't even like the drop in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Magic Kingdom. But I have to thank You because I'm pretty sure that You don't like these ups and downs either, and yet, You have sat by my side the entire time. You have held my hand and You have allowed me to lien on You when the drop has been too much for me to handle.

I am looking forward to having a tranquil life. Please, let me navigate the next decade through placid waters. I pray to You for peace and tranquility. Mama Mary, pray for us and for all our family and friends who are also in need of a smooth journey. I know a lot of people whose life has also been an intense rollercoaster ride. They also need a break. I pray for all of them.You know who they are. Please give us all a break. But if we must continue riding the rollercoaster for a while longer, we thank You for riding it with us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for the Miracles

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem... On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Matthew 2: 1, 11

January 6, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Happy Three Kings' Day!!!

Another year came and went. I have hopes that 2015 will be a great year.

I know that it will be a miracle if my dad makes it through this year. But instead of looking at it from the point of view that he is leaving us, I am going to look at it from the point of view that soon he will meet You. What an honor and what a privilege.

I love You, Jesus. Happy Three Kings' Day!!!

January 15, 2015

Dear Jesus:

I am here at Mt. Sinai. My dad again. When are You going to give him a break? Yesterday he went through surgery of the lung. How much more are You going to send him before You take him home? Either cure him or let him rest. But please, give him a break. The past two years have been very tough. I know he's 86 and his health is deteriorating, but he really needs a break. And my mom too.

Today, I'm feeling a little impatient. So please, give me patience to accept the things I cannot change.

I love You, Jesus.

January 17, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Yesterday we had another scare. My dad's left lung collapsed. He still hasn't recovered fully from the surgery of the right lung and now we have the left one to deal with.

Father Gabriel came. He gave him the anointing of the sick and a special blessing. He stayed with us for a while, talking and praying with us. He is very nice. I pray to You for him, for his vocation. Thank you for sending him to us. He brought us a lot of peace, which You knew that we needed it.

Today I came to the hospital early and things are looking much better. My dad is off the respirator and he's just on regular oxygen. He's also more alert.

Thank You, Jesus, for helping him overcome another crisis. But once again, I beg you, please have mercy on him. Yesterday, Father Gabriel, in Your name, absolved him from all his sins. My dad is a good man. He has always been there for my mom and for me. Even in his suffering, his concern is that he is inconveniencing my mom and I. You helped him overcome the circulation issues that he had two years ago and the cancer that he had last year, so I know that if it's Your will, You can save him. But if he's not going to have quality of life, please let him rest in Your kingdom.

I love You, Jesus.

January 6, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today we are celebrating the feast of the Three Kings. And on this day that You received three special gifts, I want to thank You for the gift of my dad. As I read my journal from 2015, I realized that You gave us a miracle by allowing him to survive that year. Even though he had a rocky start, he got to go to Spain one last time with my mom at the end of 2015. We got to enjoy one more Christmas with him. You took him from us in June 2016, but I realize now that You gave us plenty of time to prepare. Even though I miss him tremendously and I felt his absence this Christmas, I feel at peace in knowing without a doubt that he is already enjoying Your kingdom.

Sometimes we don't realize that You give us small miracles every day. Thank you for the miracles.

I love You, Jesus. Give my dad a big hug from me.

Letters to Heaven: Teach me to Trust You

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalm 56:3–4

January 4, 2016

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, once again, experiencing sleepless nights. It's 4:30 am and I have been awake for over an hour. I continue to worry too much. I tried to go back to sleep by using some relaxation techniques of body and mind but to no avail. I couldn't fall asleep again.

I read the words of St. Pope John Paul II: "Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence."

And yet, I still worry about all sorts of things that I don't have the ability to do anything about. If I truly had faith in You and I placed all things in Your hands, why should I worry about anything? And yet, I worry, worry, worry. Am I offending You by my lack of confidence in You?

I understand that all these fears and worries mean that I don't fully trust You. I want to be in charge and in control, and I just can't. Most of my worries revolve around my kids. But I have no control over my kids, their actions or their decisions. I need to let go and let You handle them. I need to let You take care of them.

Please Jesus, keep my children in the path of righteousness. Help them see how important it is to follow You and to follow the GPS within their hearts: God's Plan of Salvation.

Please Jesus, teach me to trust You completely. Help me to stop worrying. Take away my fears.

I love You, Jesus!

January 4, 2017

Dear Jesus:

One year later and not much has changed. Here I am writing You another letter at 4:30 am. What is it with me and these sleepless nights? I've been awake since 3:15. After tossing and turning for over an hour, I just gave up. I'm going to watch one of those cheesy Hallmark movies that I love so much. Maybe it will make me fall sleep.

6:15 am: Still here. I just finished watching "A Rose for Christmas." Unfortunately, it wasn't boring, which means I'm still awake. A phrase in the movie caught my attention: "My life is my family, everything else is window dressing." So true. Family is the most important thing in my life, after You, of course. But the love I feel for them goes hand in hand with how much I worry about them. Love and worry, in equal doses.

Well, my alarm just went off. I'm supposed to spend half an hour with You. I guess today You wanted me to give You more time. I think I'm going to pray a rosary to your Mother, my Mother. Maybe she will teach me to trust You more and worry less.

I love You, Jesus!

Letters to Heaven: Help me to Make Room for You

"Take Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will. All I have and call my own. Whatever I have or hold, You have given me. I return it all to You and surrender it wholly to be governed by Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace. And I am rich enough and ask for nothing more." St. Ignatius of Loyola

January 3, 2008

Dear Jesus:

Today I begin a new journal and with it, I am making a commitment to allow my thoughts and my written words to be inspired by You, to be directed by You.

Four months ago, I attended the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. During those exercises, I received a very powerful message from You. At first, I was truly inspired and I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. Then I allowed myself to be swallowed by the world. I allowed the demands of the world to take over my life completely and I didn't have time for You. I didn't make time to do what You asked me to do.

Today, I renew my commitment to You. I will separate at least half an hour per day just for You. I will place myself in Your hands for You to use me as You will. I will open my mind so it can receive Your message, so it can be inspired by the Holy Spirit so that through me Your message can be heard. Sometimes I will write. Sometimes I will pray. Sometimes I will read. Other times I will meditate in silence. But I am committing myself to spending half an hour with You. I will not allow work or my family or my friends or anything else to interfere with my commitment to You.

Like St. Ignatius discovered, everything we have is because You have given it to us. Our sole purpose then should be to serve You. We need to surrender ourselves so You can work through us. We are Your instruments, but unless we allow ourselves to be governed by You, we are useless creatures.

I freely make a generous gift of myself to You, Lord, for You to use me as You will. And so, with St. Ignatius' inspired words, I give myself over to You. "Take Lord... My liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will..."

I love You, Jesus

January 3, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today I renew the commitment that I made nine years ago. I will offer half an hour of my day to be with You. I know it's not an easy promise to keep. I have failed many times in these nine years. The intentions are good, but life gets in the way. So all I can promise You is that I will try. I will attempt to get up half an hour earlier each day. And I will spend these first thirty minutes of my day with You.

I love You, Jesus

Letters to Heaven: A cut above the rest

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11

January 1, 2010

Dear Jesus:

Happy New Year!!!

I'm watching the Rose Parade on television. I like their theme: "A cut above the rest." Yes, this year will be special, "a cut above the rest."

Rafi will be returning to Princeton this month. Chabeli will be going to England to spend a semester abroad next fall. Alex will learn to drive. These are some of the hopes and dreams in my children's lives this year. Rafe and I don't have any major plans. We just pray for health. Please keep us healthy, all of us. We also pray for peace. Peace in our lives, in our home, in our family and in our world.

Please Jesus, give us a healthy and peaceful 2010. That's all we want. That's all we need.

I love You, Jesus. Happy New Year 2010!!! May 2010 be "a cut above the rest."

January 1, 2017

Dear Jesus:

As I go back in time and read my old journals, I realize that my letter to you seven years ago is pretty similar to the one I would write today. I felt pretty much the same way back then as I feel today. Both 2009 and 2016 were pretty tough years for our family. So I was happy, very happy, to ring-in 2010, just as I'm happy today to welcome 2017.

Some things have changed in these past seven years. Rafi and Chabeli have since graduated from college and are both now fully independent. Alex now drives and attends college in Connecticut. He will graduate at the end of this year, with Your help.

I pray for the same things that I pray to You at the start of every new year: health, peace, joy and to remain in the path that will one day lead me to You.

I love You, Jesus. Happy New Year 2017!!! May 2017 be "a cut above the rest."