20 Resolutions for 2020

I usually don’t write resolutions for a new year... but being that we are entering a new decade, I felt inspired to come up with a list this year. So here are my 20 Resolutions for 2020:

1. I will forgive all who have hurt me in the past. Life is too short for anger and grudges. 
2. I will apologize to those I have hurt in the past. Life is too short for hurt feelings. 
3. I will do my best to help those in need. 
4. I will spread love, kindness and compassion instead of gossip, resentment or prejudice.
5. I will remove negativity from my life, including those persons that complain constantly. Negativity spreads so I will attempt to surround myself with positive people and positive thoughts. 
6. I will give more compliments and less complaints.
7. I will attempt to be more patient with bad drivers, rude retail clerks, restaurant waiters with poor manners, slow customer service phone operators, and especially, with my family. 
8. I will attempt to send a hand-written note to twelve different persons... one per month. It may be a “thank you,” “get-well”, “encouragement” or “just because” kind of note. 
9. I will spend less time on social media and more time face-to-face with those that truly matter. 
10. I will commute productively by spending that daily hour in the car either praying, listening to an audiobook or reaching out to someone that I have not spoken to in a while. 
11. I will be less perfectionist and more “go with the flow.” Life is not perfect so I don’t need to be either. 
12. I will delegate tasks that others can do for me. I can do anything but I can’t do everything. 
13. I will learn to accept change with a positive mindset. 
14. I will hug my loved ones more. I am not a hugger by nature so this will require some work on my part. 
15. I will treat myself kindly by making time to relax. I don’t need to finish everything today. 
16. I will worry less about the future, stop living in the past, and simply enjoy the “now.”
17. I will cultivate an attitude of gratitude by being more grateful for little things. And I will make time to write on my journal what I’m grateful for at least once a month.
18. I will dedicate more time to doing what I enjoy most... writing. Therefore, I will continue writing my book.
19. I will get out of my comfort zone by doing something different from my usual routine.
20. I will walk into 2020 wearing a big smile. Frowns can stay behind in 2019. 

The 20s will be an amazing decade... if I have the right attitude... no matter what the future holds. 

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 25 “Christmas Day”

“The angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.’” Luke 2:10-14

Something must have startled me because I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart beating very rapidly. It was dark outside, probably around midnight. I could see the stars through a hole on a side wall. Joseph was sound asleep next to me. Even though I did not feel any pain, I felt as if my whole body was going to explode. I knew instinctively that the time of God’s coming into the world had arrived. I knelt down as best I could, and I gave Him glory, magnificence, thanks and praise for choosing me, this humble servant, to be the mother of our Lord. At the same time, I asked God to shine His light upon me, and for His grace in order to be able to undertake the service, worship and rearing up of the Word made flesh, whom I was to bear in my arms and nourish with my breast milk. I felt a profound humility because I held myself unworthy of becoming the Mother of God incarnate. I humbled myself in front of the Lord, and I acknowledged my nothingness in the presence of the Almighty.

Once I finished my prayers, I knelt in front of a manger that had been left by the shepherds for their animals. Joseph cleaned it the night before. He placed hay inside it and over the hay, the baby blanket that I had brought with me. He said that it was best to be prepared in case the baby decided to arrive early. I raised my eyes to Heaven, my hands joined and folded at my breast, and my soul wrapped in the Divinity of God. I felt and saw that the body of the infant God began to move inside my womb. This movement filled me with incomparable joy and delight. My body became almost spiritual with the beauty of Heaven. It emitted rays of light, like a glowing sun, and it shone in indescribable earnestness and majesty, all inflamed with fervent love. In this position, I gave to the world the Only-begotten of the Father and my own, our Saviour Jesus Christ, true God and man. The infant God was brought forth from within me without pain or hardship. It had happened so simply and so beautifully, that it could only be by the divinity of God. Just like the rays of the sun penetrate glass without breaking it, that is how Jesus emerged from my body. He left me untouched in my virginal integrity and purity, making me forever sacred.

My Son, God’s Son, was born in Bethlehem. I grabbed Him, wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and placed Him in the manger. I wanted to laugh, but instead, began to shed tears of joy. At that moment, I did not care if I was in heaven or earth, in a cave or in a palace. My Prince had been born.

While I was contemplating Him, I heard a commotion outside the cave which caused Joseph to wake up. When he saw that the baby had been born, his eyes opened wide. He hugged me and his tears got mixed with mine. In the meantime, we could hear voices approaching the cave. Joseph went outside to check who was there. He came back inside and said: “Mary, there are shepherds outside. They are coming to see the Baby.” I told him to allow them entrance. They walked in, and knelt before the Son of God. One of them told us that while they were guarding their flock during the night, an angel had appeared to them. The angel said to us: “Today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” (1) And as we were walking towards the cave, we saw a multitude of angels praising God and singing.

The shepherds were dancing with joy. Their happiness was contagious, and at that moment, I realized that my Son would never be fully mine. He belonged to the world, and specially to the poor and humble, like the shepherds. They asked me if they could carry Jesus, and I nodded. Jesus was passed around, from shepherd to shepherd, and their joy made me laugh. When the shepherds left, they gave us milk, cheese, figs and honey.

It was all so simple that it was extraordinary. God had chosen a group of humble shepherds to be the first ones to receive the Good News. They had been chosen, just like Joseph and I, to comprehend not with the mind but with the heart. I hugged my Baby Boy and I sang His first lullaby. It was the song of Israel to their Messiah. It was the song that the whole world would sing to Him forever: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.” (2)

Reflection:

On this day, when the Messiah came into the world, many will be thinking how to spend more money, move to a bigger house or get a better job. What about me? What am I thinking today? Will I dance with joy like the shepherds or will I be like those people in Bethlehem that had turned their back to the Messiah? Jesus was born in Bethlehem 2,020 years ago. Does it matter? Will I allow Him to be born in me or will this be just another meaningless Christmas?

References:
Luke 2:11-12
Luke 2:14

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 24 “Christmas Eve”

“There was no room for them in the inn.” Luke 2:7

We arrived at the town of Bethlehem at four o’clock of the fifth day. As it was at the time of the winter solstice, the sun was already sinking and the night was falling. We were so happy when we saw the walls of the town, but unfortunately, our happiness would be short lived.

Bethlehem was more crowded than Jerusalem during Passover. There were people everywhere. I could hear the sound of donkeys competing with the noise made by the camels. There were children running through the streets, screaming to each other, while the parents chased them trying to keep them under control. The smell of animal was mixed with the smell of food and sweat. It was chaotic. People were shouting at each other, and we even saw a couple of men pushing each other.

We wandered through many streets in search of a lodging-house or an inn to stay for the night. We knocked at the doors of acquaintances and some of Joseph’s family relatives; but we were admitted nowhere. We just kept listening to the same words: “There is no room in the inn.” The people of Israel are usually hospitable, and they make room for anyone. But not this time. In many places, we were even met with harsh words and insults. The crowd, the noise, and the unfairness of the decree had brought the worst in everyone. I had never seen anything like it.

I followed Joseph, while sitting on top of the donkey, through the crowds of people. He went from house to house and from door to door. It looked like on this night, the hearts and the houses of men were to be closed to us. While wandering through the streets, we passed the office of the public registry which was still open. There was a crowd of people, but we waited patiently, and we inscribed our names and paid the fiscal tribute in order to comply with the edict and not be obliged to return. We continued our search, knocking at the door of all the inns in town. We must have tried at more than fifty different places, but we found ourselves rejected and sent away from them all, with the same phrase: “There is no room in the inn.”

I was exhausted, but I did not want to cause further worry to Joseph. I could not wait to get off the donkey to sit down somewhere, anywhere, and just rest. All the noise and the smells were making me dizzy. A man must have noticed that I did not look well because he came towards me with a jar filled with water and he offered me a drink. I will never forget how fresh that water felt on my throat nor the smile in his bearded face. Joseph tried to give him a coin, but he did not accept it. I knew that my grateful smile meant more to him than a single denarius.

He told Joseph that there was a cave outside of town where we could find a warm shelter for the night. “It won’t be clean and it won’t smell good since shepherds use it to shelter their flock, but at least it will be quiet and it will be warm,” he said. He gave us directions on how to find it, and we headed there. As we made our way in the shadows of the night, I felt that every bone in my body was in pain. It’s as if I was carrying the weight of the world with me. And yet, at the same time, I felt the peace and love of the baby within me giving me hope and comfort.

As we left the village, the outskirts of town were deserted. I was afraid, I must confess, even though the peace emanating from within surrounded me. I felt small and insignificant when Joseph helped me to climb down from the donkey. He hugged me with compassion and love. “We will be fine, Mary.”

We found the neglected cavern. It was formed entirely of bare and coarse rocks, without any natural beauty or artificial adornment; a place intended merely for the shelter of animals. It was inside a mountain that overlooked a peaceful valley. We went inside, and Joseph cleaned the cave, which was filled with animal excrement, as best he could. He prepared a place for me within the hay. He went back outside and brought the blankets we had packed, and lay them over the hay. I looked around me, and said a silent prayer to God: “Is this the place that You have chosen for your Son to be born?” I had not mentioned it to Joseph, but I had been feeling mild contractions for the past few hours.

I was so exhausted that I just laid down on top of the blanket, while Joseph went to find wood to light a fire. At that moment, I did not care about the spiderwebs that I could see above me nor the little insects that were rapidly scurrying to hide among the hay. I closed my eyes, and said a silent prayer: “Lord, let me go gladly wherever You shall guide me. If this is the place that You have selected for the shelter and dwelling-place of Your own Son, please bless it, cleanse it and fill it with holy fragrance.“ And just like that, I dozed off for the night.

Reflection:

Bethlehem was filled with people, and yet, Mary and Joseph found the hearts and the houses of men closed to them. “There is no room in the inn,” was the phrase that they kept hearing. On this Christmas Eve, the malls are filled with people, and yet, many hearts have forgotten the reason for the season. Is my heart open to Jesus or have I gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the preparations? Is there room in my inn to welcome Jesus this Christmas? Or am I going to keep my heart closed and send Him away because there is no room in my inn for Him?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 23

“He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.” Psalms 91:11

We have been on this journey three days. The caravan that we started with originally, left us behind because we could not keep up with them due to my condition. This would have been a huge problem under normal circumstances, but since there are so many persons traveling, we were not alone for very long.

Now, we are traveling with a group that is going to Jerusalem. Bethlehem is further, but we are sure that we will find another caravan. In this one, there is another lady with child just like me. Her name is Miriam. I am further along, though. She’s in her sixth month. They are traveling at a slower pace because of Miriam so we have been able to keep up.

We have stopped to eat. We are taking cover inside a cave because today is a particularly cold day. Joseph and I brought bread, fruit and some fishes for our journey. We also brought water stored in wine skins. We now share them with the other travelers, and they in turn, share what they brought with us. Therefore, our meal is quite varied. In addition to what we brought, we are eating goat cheese, olives, almonds, pistachios, honey, figs, dates, grapes, and pomegranates.

I sat next to Miriam. She’s older than I am by a few years. She confided that this is her third pregnancy. She lost the first two. The last one was especially painful because she was already in her third trimester. She is very worried that this trip will cause her to lose this pregnancy too. I tried to reassure her that everything would work out fine, but what do I know? I said a silent prayer for her. “Please, Lord, protect Miriam and her baby, just like You are protecting me and my Son.”

While Miriam and I rested, I saw Joseph surrounded by the children. He made a ball with wood sticks and string, and he covered it with leather. They were playing some kind of game where they were sitting down in a circle, and were tossing the ball around. The children were laughing and having a wonderful time. I realized then what a wonderful father Joseph would be to our Son.

A while back, Joseph had confided in me that when the angel appeared to him in his dreams, and told him that I was expecting the Messiah, he was terrified at the great responsibility that God was asking of him. He did not feel that he was worthy of the task. He felt that there were many other men that could do a much better job at protecting and educating the Son of God, because after all, he was just a simple carpenter. I told him that if God had chosen him, it was because He knew that he was the right man for the job. After living with him the past few months, and looking at him now with the children, I had no doubt.

“Thank You, Lord, for choosing such a humble, simple man, for such an extraordinary task. You picked him because You know that Joseph will be a great guardian, teacher and protector of Your Son. You could have chosen a powerful King, and yet, you picked an ordinary man from an unknown little village in Galilee. You chose well, Lord. Look at how patient he is with all those children. You could not have found a better man for such great responsibility in all the earth.”

After resting for an hour, we must now continue our journey. We are carrying with us the Treasure of Heaven, and the whole court of celestial angels is marching with us.

Reflection:

Joseph trusted and obeyed God, in spite of the fact that he did not feel worthy of the task. God was pleased to entrust him with such a great responsibility for His Son and for Mary. What can I learn from Joseph’s example? When has God asked something of me, and I have answered “no” because I did not feel worthy of the task? God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I must trust that if God entrusts me with a great responsibility, He will turn my ordinary abilities into extraordinary gifts.

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 22

“Everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary.“ Luke 2:3-5

I woke up early, before Joseph. It was a cold morning. I opened my mother’s chest. I had placed in there some clothing that I had sewn for the baby, and that now I had to leave behind. It smelled of lavender and thyme. I walked one last time through every corner of our little house, bringing to mind every memory that I had made there with my parents, my aunt and uncle, and now with Joseph. The kitchen smelled like apples because just yesterday, I had brought them in from the garden. I sat in the kitchen for a few minutes until Joseph walked in. He covered me with a blanket, and helped me climb on top of the donkey. Lucky donkey who would be carrying once again the Son of God.

As we began to walk away, I looked at my home for one last time. I had a feeling it would be a while before I returned. It got smaller and smaller as we walked away, until it was just a white dot in the distance.

We walked in silence for a while until we united ourselves to another group. Finding a caravan this time was not difficult, because there were so many people journeying between towns. Everyone in Israel seemed to be on the roads, walking towards their cities of origin to register for the census.

As we walked, I reflected that we can plan all we want to, but in the end, God has the final word. This trip could not have come at a most inconvenient time for us. I closed my eyes for a while so I could see better. I do that when I want to hear God’s voice. “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.’” (1)

The sun began to rise behind the mountains, just like it did every single day, as if nothing was different. Oh, but it was so different for me. The donkey kept walking slowly, lifting the dust in its path. Jesus was awake inside my womb. I could feel Him moving within me. I talked to Him in silence: “Where will You be born, my Little One?”

Just like God sent an angel to Joseph when He wanted to divorce me, God will take care of us during this trip because I know that there is a purpose in all this. And as I looked around me, just like on the trip to Ein Kerem, I saw angels walking with us. God had sent His army to protect us. He was with us. He had not abandoned us.

Reflection:

The trip to Bethlehem for the census came at a most inconvenient time for Mary and Joseph; yet it fulfilled God’s purpose. When did I have difficulty with God’s timing? How did I dealt with it? Did it fulfill God’s purpose?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References:
Isaiah 55:8-9

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 21

“Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth.” Luke 2:1

This morning, I was placing some wildflowers in a vase, when Joseph arrived from his trip to Sepphoris. He looked exhausted, and I noticed lines of worry on his face.

“What’s wrong, Joseph?” I asked him.

“I didn’t want to tell you, Mary, because I did not want you to worry,” said Joseph. “But as I was returning from Sepphoris, a group of Roman soldiers in horses made their way into Nazareth. They gathered at the square, and the centurion read the following decree: ‘By order of Caesar Augustus, General Quirinius, governor of Syria, declares that all inhabitants of the earth must register for the census, each in his own city, and within the month.’ When the soldiers left, the rabbi re-read the decree. As you can imagine, everyone is very upset. The object of this census is to make all the inhabitants acknowledge themselves as vassals of the emperor, and to pay a certain tax to their temporal lord.”

“What are we going to do, Joseph?” I asked him. “The baby is due to arrive in just a few weeks.”

Joseph tried to calm me down, but he was clearly very concerned too. Joseph was from Bethlehem, a five day trip in my condition. We conferred with each other about the course of action to be pursued, and we decided that the best thing would be to leave right away. Hopefully, we would have enough time to go, register, and return before the baby was born.

“Mary, we will leave tomorrow,” said Joseph.

In the afternoon, we went to visit our families to let them know that we would be departing to Bethlehem the following day. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to go with him because the decree also stated that both the head of the family and the spouse had to be present for the registration. Otherwise, I would have stayed with my aunt and uncle.

We were not the only ones in this situation. A lot of persons in Nazareth had to go to other cities to fulfill the requirements of the decree, and register for the census in their birth places. There was a lot of commotion in the entire town, as people were getting ready to depart.

It is now midnight, and while Joseph sleeps, I am here writing on this journal, keeper of my most intimate thoughts. I am very nervous, I cannot deny it. This decree threw all our plans out the window. For me to have to leave my home, in the advanced stage of my pregnancy, is a huge risk. I was counting on the help of my aunt and other ladies from our town to be by my side when I gave birth. I found peace knowing that my son would be born in my home, surrounded by people that I knew and loved, in surroundings that were familiar to me. I imagined him safe in the cradle that Joseph with so much love built for him with his own hands. Now, I had to pack just the bare necessities, and travel for five days not knowing what we could encounter on the way.

“This decree has turned my world upside down, Lord,” I prayed. “Why is it that nothing in my marriage and maternity can be simple?” As I pondered in the silence of my heart for God’s answer, I realized that when I gave Him my “yes,” it was a prolonged “yes,” and it covered anything that He asked of me. I had no control over my life, much less over what was happening. God had a plan, and whether I liked it or not, I had to accept it and follow Him. If He wanted us to go to Bethlehem, He had His reasons, and who was I to question them? I accepted His providence. I packed my baby’s swaddling clothes and coverlets, and I added a few linens and clothing that I would need in case that I had to deliver our baby while I was gone. The plan was to go to Bethlehem, and as soon as we registered, depending on how I felt, return to Nazareth or go to Ein Kerem which was much closer.

That night, I found refuge in the knowledge that God would not abandon us. And I tried to sleep, even if just for a few hours.

Reflection:

Separation, grief, loneliness, and depression are no strangers to this season of Advent. Hope may be in short supply during this time. I need Mary’s inspiring example of courage and trust in the face of uncertainty more than ever. How can I use Mary’s remarkable and inspiring example of courage in the face of adversity, patience in the face of uncertainty, and hope beyond hope to believe that the impossible is indeed possible?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 20

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

As my belly grew, so did my joy and my worry. Ever since the Annunciation, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes, I am exhilarated with joy, and others, I am overcome with worry. I want to trust God with all my heart, but my motherly intuition that there will be trouble in our future, gets in the way of that trust.

I am excited because in less than a month, I will be holding my baby boy in my arms. Today, Joseph showed up with a wooden cradle for Jesus, the name that God has given our baby. I was overwhelmed by how much I love Joseph, and all that he is doing for this baby that is not his by blood.

We placed the cradle in my room, next to my bed. Right away, I dressed the cradle with the blanket that I have sewn with so much care. I also put in there the swaddling clothes and coverlets that I have already finished.

If I close my eyes, I can easily image our baby sleeping in that cradle. But soon, the thorn of anxiety invades my thoughts. “Will Jesus be truly a King? Or a priest in the Jerusalem temple? Maybe He will just be a prophet. And that thought scares me. The history of our prophets is a complicated one. Those that dare say the truth, putting it all on the line, ended up imprisoned or worst. Jeremiah, who condemned idolatry, the greed of priests, and false prophets, was thrown into a pit. I have a feeling that my Son is going to get into a lot of trouble, because unfortunately, those that have power, don’t want to hear the truth. “My little Emmanuel, Son of Yahweh, will you be understood?”

Joseph told me that he had to return to Sepphoris the following day. He was not getting many new orders from Nazareth, so he had to go to the capital where it was urgent that he finished the big assignment that had been commissioned to him. Even though I do not like it when he leaves, I will keep myself busy finishing up the swaddling bands, and cleaning the house for when he returns.

The hours spent sewing the baby’s clothing are my quiet time, which I use to pray to our Lord. It’s a time of waiting, for the coming of the Lord.

Reflection:

Mary had feelings of anxiety and worry while she waited for her Son to be born. Have I ever experienced anxiety or the sense of being abandoned by God? How does my faith carry me through these times?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 19

“She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21

Last week, I received a huge surprise. Zacharias, Elizabeth and John came to visit us. They stayed with us for one week. John is already five months old. He is a robust and healthy baby. His eyes are deep and wise. I can tell that God has an important mission for him. Zacharias said it when he was born: “And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; For you will go on before the Lord to prepare His ways.” (1) John’s destiny is definitely intertwined with that of my Son’s.

I reprimanded them for taking such a long journey with an infant, but interiorly, I was so happy with their visit. It was so good to have my cousin by my side for this one week. I wish that she had been able to stay until my Son is born, just like I was able to be with her for the birth of John, but Zacharias has responsibilities as a priest, and there is so much unrest in our country that it would have been unsafe for Elizabeth and John to return by themselves. Therefore, I was thankful for the one week that we were able to spend together.

Elizabeth wanted to serve me, the way that I had served her during my visitation. But I only allowed her to do menial chores. Even in my eighth month, I am stronger than her. She looks fragile. The pregnancy and birth of John has taken a toll on her. And caring for an infant is no easy feat, so it’s been more difficult for her because of her advanced age.

Joseph took advantage of their visit, to go to Sepphoris, the capital, from where he had received a big assignment that would help our diminishing coffers tremendously. While Joseph was gone, having Elizabeth and her family with me was a huge relief. They kept me company during the day, and I did not have to ask my aunt to come stay with me at night. The days are now growing shorter, but they seem interminable when one is just waiting.

Elizabeth and I talked a lot, just like we did when I was in Ein Kerem. I shared with her my concerns regarding people’s expectations of the Messiah. Elizabeth is a wise woman, and this was her insight:

“God hates the sin and violence and injustice that have rendered gloomy His beautiful world, and therefore He comes into that world as a warrior, ready to fight. But He arrives stealthily, clandestinely—sneaking, as it were, unnoticed behind enemy lines. The King comes as a helpless infant, born of insignificant parents in a small town of a distant outpost of the Roman Empire.He will conquer through the finally irresistible power of love, the same power with which He made the universe.” (2)

She told me that by “insignificant” she meant humble and poor. “Mary,” she continued, “most people are expecting a King, of royal blood. God definitely has a sense of humor, because instead of choosing a queen with power, He chose a queen with no power but with a huge heart. You are a queen, Mary, even if the world does not consider you one. But God is sneaky, and therefore, He chose you because people would not notice you. He doesn’t want to arrive with noise and fanfare, He wants to sneak into our world unnoticed, so that He can reveal His plan in His time, not ours.”

Now that Elizabeth is gone, I ponder all our conversations, and I must agree with her. My Son is indeed a King, but not the kind of King that people are expecting.

After reading the Scriptures and saying my nightly prayers with Joseph, I retired myself for the evening. “Little Emmanuel, pray for us.”

Reflection:

How did Jesus conquer with love, and where am I called to do the same? How is God using me, an insignificant servant, to spread His seeds of love in my small corner of the world?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References:
1. Luke 1:76
2. Bishop Robert Barron Reflection 12-18-19

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 18

“Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Emmanuel.” 

Isaiah 7:14 

As I entered my eighth month, all the talk in our town was about the economic pressures that our people were experiencing. Rome was demanding all of us to pay a tribute to the Empire. We also had to pay taxes to Herod. And all of this was in addition to the tithes and offerings to the Temple. Many of our village families were falling into debt and were faced with loss of their family inheritance of land.

Joseph and I were making ends meet as humbly as possible. Joseph was a good carpenter and his reputation had expanded outside of Nazareth, so he was receiving request for work not just from out town but from the surrounding towns in Galilee, and even from the region of Judea. But if Herod kept increasing his taxes, soon it would not be sufficient to maintain our little family of three.

As I worked on the swaddling clothes and coverlets for our baby, I was pondering within the silence of my heart, a conversation that I overheard in the morning, when I went down to the town to buy oil. My brother-in-law, Clopas, was having a discussion with Ananias, the potter:

“I cannot put up anymore with these Romans,” Ananias was saying. “They think they own everything. But they will pay the price when the Messiah comes. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

“The Messiah? And when is He going to come?” replied Clopas. “While we wait for Him, these bastards are bleeding us dry. I’m tired of waiting for a Messiah that is simply not coming.”

As I finished the hem for the coverlet, I was having a conversation with my Son:

“Emmanuel, what will be your true mission as the Messiah?”

Isaiah spoke of a “virgin (who) will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Emmanuel.” (1) Emmanuel means “God is with us.” I had heard the rabbi read this scripture in the synagogue many times. Now, knowing that I was that virgin, I would refer to my Son as Emmanuel when I spoke to Him.

According to our tradition, the Messiah would be a descendant of King David, gain sovereignty over the land of Israel, gather the Jews there from the four corners of the earth, restore them to full observance of Torah law, and liberate Israel from the slavery to foreign rulers. Most people in Galilee were waiting for a Messiah that would liberate them from the Roman rulers. In other words, they were waiting for a political leader. They knew how Isaiah referred to the Messiah: “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” (2) And thus, they awaited the arrival of the blessed and anointed Chosen One.

“Will my Son arrive with sword in hand ready to avenge His people?” I would ask myself with an anxious heart. But I could not reconcile that image with the peace that I felt within me. The title “Prince of Peace” seemed more in line with what I felt.

At night, when Joseph and I sat together to share our daily experiences, sometimes outside if the weather was good, and others inside since the days were getting chillier, I would tell him about my fears: “If they are expecting a warrior, they will not be happy with a Messiah that was born right next door from a poor peasant girl.” But Joseph, in his wise and quiet ways, would calm my fears by telling me that God has a plan, and we just have to wait until it unravels.

Reflection:

It is in the life of a teenage girl, in a hidden town in Israel, that God enters the world directly. What else is God doing in hidden places, right now? What is God doing in the hidden part of my heart, the one that I don’t share with anyone?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References:

1. Isaiah 7:14
2. Isaiah 9:6

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 17

“Husbands, love your wives...” Ephesians 5:25

One month after our wedding, the people of Nazareth were still talking about the celebration. I practically don’t remember the banquet, but my neighbors surely do. Today, when I went down to the river, I ran into my sisters-in-law Salome and Mary, and three other friends that were also washing their clothing. They were reminiscing about the banquet, about all the wine they drank, about the dancing, and about how much fun they had. I, on the other hand, all I can remember is the noise: the noise of the clinking of the wine glasses, the noise of the music, the noise of laughter... All I wanted was to go home with Joseph, but I knew that the people needed the celebration. And celebrate they did.

After everyone left, and we were finally alone, I was very nervous because under normal circumstances, that would be the night when we would consummate our love. But nothing was normal about our relationship. After all, I was already expecting a child, and yet, I was a virgin. My body belonged to the Creator through the vow I had made. And Joseph understood this. Joseph renounced ownership of my flesh, and yet found more in the spirit, as the foster father of Our Lord. We stayed at Joseph’s house on our wedding night, but we slept in separate rooms. I was worried that this would be a problem for Joseph, but it was not. He is the most gentle and good-hearted man that has ever lived. The flame of our love was not meant to scorch the flesh, but to solidify our lives.

The next day, we moved into my home, which is now our home. Our life together has fallen into rhythm as if we have been dancing together since the beginning of time. We both wake up at the crack of dawn, sometimes even earlier. While I bake the bread and prepare the breakfast, Joseph goes to feed our faithful donkey. He also takes out water from the well. This was something that I used to do every day, but now that I am on my sixth month, Joseph took this chore away from me because he does not want me to exert myself.

After breakfast, Joseph leaves to his carpentry shop. He is working on a wooden cradle for our Son, among all the other orders that he has to fulfill. While he works, I take care of the household chores: cleaning the house, washing the clothing in the river, going to town to buy or trade what we need, maintain our vegetable garden... and many other daily duties that keep my days occupied.

At night, after supper, we read the Scriptures together. This time of prayer has united us more and more. And just like that, as the trees begin to lose their leaves, we celebrated our first month anniversary.

Reflection:

By marrying Mary, Joseph expresses his own “let it be done to me according to your word.” He is referring to God’s Word. The Word uttered in absolute love and truth. Am I ready to hear God’s Word? Am I prepared for the path that God has chosen for me?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 16

“And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife.” Matthew 1:24

“The groom is coming, the groom is coming,” I heard the screams outside.

I had been getting ready since the early morning hours. As promised, Salome and Mary, the wife of Clopas, came to my house to help me. Once I was ready, I had to wait for Joseph to come collect me. This could be at any time during the day or night, and I had to be ready with my lamp filled with oil. My bridesmaids waited with me, and they also had to have oil ready for their lamps. If they had not been ready when the groom came, they would miss the banquet.

When Joseph and his friends got close to my house, they gave a shout and blew a shofar to let me know he was arriving. My bridesmaids all rushed outside just as the first stars were making their appearance in the sky. The lights from the lamps being carried by the groomsmen were combined with the lights that my bridesmaids were carrying, and soon, it looked like a river of light was marking the path for the groom. I waited for Joseph inside the house, looking mesmerized through the window at the spectacle outside. I must confess that behind my timid smile, I was happy and nervous at the same time.

Among the screams and howls from the crowd, I saw the little donkey that had accompanied me on my journey to Ein Kerem. He was all dressed up for the occasion with feathers and jewels covering his head, and a silk embroidered blanket over his body. He looked at me with his gentle eyes, and I could tell that he recognized me. It seemed as if he was smiling at me. Behind the donkey, I finally spotted Joseph. He was wearing a brand new blue tunic, a yellow robe over it, and a crown of tiny flowers on his head. He looked so strong and handsome, bubbling over with energy and strength.

I opened the door, and walked outside. My white tunic, tied with the nuptial belt, and the translucent veil covering my face, seemed to be dancing with the wind. My friends helped me climb on top of the donkey. I was wearing bracelets and anklets that had belonged to my mother, and others that I borrowed from my aunt and my friends. My head was filled with daisies, as if they had been knitted amongst my hair.

I saw myself on Joseph’s eyes, and I did not recognize me. I looked like a princess, and from the smile on his face, I knew that’s what he thought too. He grabbed the bridle of the donkey, while all the children threw flowers at us. As we walked towards Joseph’s house, where the wedding celebrations would take place, it seemed as if all the inhabitants from Nazareth were outside cheering us on, and praying to Yahweh to bless our marriage. “May the Lord bless you.” “May you meet lots of children, and the children of your children.” “May Yahweh fill with prosperity Joseph’s chests, and with happiness Mary’s soul.” My bridesmaids and Joseph’s groomsmen, walked ahead of us with their oil lamps lit. My family and friends trailed behind, like a fine parade. Joseph’s family waited for us at his house.

We brought to our espousal two hearts filled with great torrents of love. We had a deep and pure love for one another. Ours was a divine romance. And I must confess, that even though I was present at the celebration of our wedding, I remember the details as if I had been watching from a cloud, because that is how I felt, as if I was floating on a cloud. I recall that there were white blankets covering the floor of Joseph’s humble house. In the middle of the room, there was a white canopy that had been prepared for us. The procession led us there, and while they sang, we held hands. Joseph placed a crown made of myrtle on my head, and the rabbi gave us wine to taste. After we tasted the wine, the glass was thrown on the floor to break it, as it was our custom, so no other lip could touch the glass that we had drank from. Then, the rabbi placed our right hands together, and he pronounced these words: “May the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob be with you. May He unite you and complete in you His blessing.”

Joseph and I looked at each other, and we realized that our marriage was not like that of others. Joseph knew that I had made a vow to God to remain a virgin, therefore the right to the body had been surrendered. But there was no need to unite the flesh when we had already attained the divine unity. The consummation of our love was in Jesus. The Light of the World was our love. Jesus, our Child, made us one. No deeper love ever beat in this world since the beginning, nor will it ever beat, even unto the end. It takes not two to love, but three. We had the love of God with us.

Reflection:

Joseph and Mary had a pure love for one another that was made even stronger through Jesus. Is there room for Jesus in my life? Do I allow Him to be part of my relationships with others?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 15

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven— A time to give birth and a time to die... A time to love and a time to hate...” 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 8

Today, I felt the presence of my parents closer than ever. When those we love leave us, they only leave us physically. They remain with us in spirit, even if we cannot see them. But if we pay attention, we can feel them all around us. Today, on the eve of my wedding day, they were with me.

Something within me knew that Anna, my mother, was beside me that morning while I kneaded the dough, and divided it into small balls so I could place them inside the tannur for baking. Even though I could not see her with my eyes, I could feel her touch in my skin. I could see her with the eyes of my heart, sitting in her favorite chair, turning the wheel to create a beautiful tunic for my special day. I could see Joachim, my father, sitting by the window, in the same chair that I like to use now, looking out the window while holding in his rugged hands the book of the Torah. If I closed my eyes, I could hear his voice reading out loud, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” (1) I could even smell his perfume, a mixture of persimmon and myrrh. And without realizing it, I had tears rolling down my face.

Even though they are not physically present with me, and I’m going to miss them tremendously on such an important date, they left me my aunt and uncle who have done such a wonderful job to prepare me for the big day. My aunt has worked around the clock on my wedding vestments. She had to keep releasing the seams to make room for my growing belly. When my aunt found out that I was with child, she just hugged me and said: “Your mom would have been so happy to become a grandmother.” And my uncle has been helping Joseph to prepare our home. My aunt and uncle have a home of their own, they just sort of moved in with me when my mother passed away so I would not be all alone. But now that Joseph is moving into my home, they will return to their own house. Joseph and my uncle have been repairing various parts of the house that just needed a little makeover.

Tonight, my aunt braided my hair. She said that it would help for tomorrow because my hair would be more manageable to place the headpiece which was made up of multiple daisies that she herself picked up today from the valley, and was keeping them fresh in a vase with water. Joseph’s sister, my dear friend Salome, was also present. And so was his sister-in-law Mary, the wife of Clopas. I allowed them to pamper me. They used perfumed oils to lather my skin and Mary brought an alabaster box which contained an ointment which she only used for very special occasions. She claimed that it would be good for my face.

“You must now rest, Mary,” they told me before they left the house. “Tomorrow, we will be back to help you get ready for your nuptials.” They were as excited, if not more, than I was. It had been a while since a wedding had taken place in Nazareth.

Even though I tried to obey them, I just could not fall sleep. It was a very hot summer day. There was no breeze since I could see that not a leave was moving in the trees. As I sat by the window, contemplating the beautiful dark sky, sprinkled with stars, I felt the sweat running down my back. I grabbed the Sacred Scriptures, and I read: “Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming. Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from the camel. She said to the servant, ‘Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?’ And the servant said, ‘He is my master.’ Then she took her veil and covered herself. The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her.” (2)

I have always loved the story of Isaac and Rebekah. I prayed to the Lord to grant Joseph and I, a love story similar to theirs. And as I prayed to Him to give us a beautiful day for our wedding, I felt asleep.

Reflection:

Today, I am thinking of those persons that I love that are no longer with me. Do I pray to them? Is my faith strong enough to know that even though they are no longer physically present, they are with me always in spirit? One day, we will reunite with those that have left before us because death is not the end.

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References:

1. Psalms 23:1
2. Genesis 24:63-67

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 14

“An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 1:20

I was sitting down by the window, pondering whether I should obey Joseph and return to Elizabeth and Zacharias’ house, when I saw him. Joseph was practically running towards my house. I knew that something must have happened to him during the night. I ran to the door, and I opened it.

“Mary,” he screamed. My name in his lips sounded like the song of a blue jay. The music woke up in me all the memories of the love that we shared. “Mary!” He ran towards me, and without saying another word, he hugged me. I felt like the earth once again was still, and I knew that God had answered my prayers.

I invited him to come in, and to share a simple breakfast with me, made up of fresh baked bread, milk and figs. Once we ate, he told me about the dream that he had during the night. “I’ve hardly slept, Mary. But I must have dozed off, and I felt as if I was floating. Mary, I was happy, like the night when we sat outside your house to contemplate the moon and the stars, and I told you that you smelled like jasmine and lily of the valley. Then I saw a bright light, and an angel of the Lord appeared to me. He said: ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.’” (1)

Joseph also told me that when he woke up, at first he doubted whether he should believe a dream. But then he remembered the stories that the rabbi would tell us in the synagogue, about how God would speak to our ancestors through dreams. He also realized that the peace that he was feeling at that moment was not of this world. “Therefore, I did not doubt anymore,” said Joseph. “I grabbed my coat, and I ran all the way here because I needed to hug you. Mary, I still don’t understand, but my love for you is bigger than what my mind can comprehend. Help me to understand, Mary.”

It took an angel to reassure us both that God had found a way. No human knowledge of science can explain such a thing. Only those who listen to angels’ voices can pierce that mystery. Joseph’s worries were overcome by a revelation from an angel. The very words of the angel: “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife”, made him believe the impossible, and in an act of supreme faith, he pushed fear aside, and he accepted the mystery. Of course, I think that the reason why he was able to believe so easily is because there was already in his heart a belief in the Messiah, Christ, who was to come. Joseph knew that the Messiah would be born of the family of David, and he himself was of that family. He also knew of the prophecies concerning the Child, even the one of Isaiah that He would be born of a Virgin. If Joseph had not already been described as a just man, the message of the angel would have been enough to have inspired great purity in him.

Joseph’s eyes were still red from all the tears that he had shed in the previous days. His hands were shaking, but in his eyes, I saw peace and love. I hugged him hard, and I felt that on that day, our love had reached perfection. I had finally become his spouse, because nothing unites two souls that love each other more than the sharing of a secret. Therefore, all anxiety and anguish now leave Joseph, as his soul is filled with reverence and awe for the love of our secret, the Son of God.

Today, our Child united the three of us for all eternity.

Reflection:

Have I ever heard God talk to me in my dreams? How about in the silence of my heart? If I feel that I have heard God’s voice, do I pay attention or do I ignore it? What is God asking of me at this very moment?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

References:

1. Matthew 1:20-21

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 13

“Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also. For my life is spent with sorrow.” Psalms 31:9-10

A few days passed and I did not hear a word from Joseph. I never suffered such intense agony as in those days when despite myself, I brought worry to Joseph, who was so just. Finally, five days after he found out, he came back to visit me.

“Mary,” he said to me, “It seems impossible to believe you guilty, because of your goodness and purity. But yet, you are expecting a child that is clearly not mine.”

I just nodded and didn’t say a word. I was waiting for some sign from God to reveal the secret to Joseph, but since I did not receive any more messages from God to disclose the mystery, I kept the secret concealed within my heart.

“I cannot continue with our betrothal, Mary, under these circumstances” said Joseph. “Yet, at the same time, I do not want to deliver you to the authorities to be stoned. I could not bear that punishment for you because I know that you have a good and gentle heart. I do not know how this could possibly have happened to us, but I know that I don’t want to shame you publicly. I do not wish to injure your reputation of holiness by involving you in the punishment of the law; yet at the same time I cannot stand by and witness the consequences of your pregnancy. Therefore, the best solution would be for me to divorce you quietly. You should return to Elizabeth and Zacharias’ house until the birth of the baby. I will leave now, Mary, and commit myself to the providence of the Lord, who governs me. Be safe, Mary, and may the Lord go with you.”

My heart broke into a million pieces when I heard his words. At night, I said a prayer to the angel Gabriel, who had come to announce God’s message to me. “I beseech you, angel Gabriel, to present before God’s clemency the afflictions of my spouse Joseph. Beseech the Lord to look upon him and console him as a true Father. And you also, who so devotedly obey His words, hear likewise my prayers; in the name of Him who is infinite, and to whom I am to give human shape in my womb, I pray, beseech and supplicate you, that without delay you assist and relieve my most faithful spouse in the affliction of his heart and drive from his mind and heart his resolve of leaving me.”

I also prostrated myself on the floor, and prayed directly to God: “Lord and God of my soul, I see Joseph overwhelmed by the tribulation, which You have sent him. If I have found grace in your eyes, I beseech You, Lord and eternal God, by the love which obliged You to enter into the womb of your humble servant for the salvation of mankind, to be pleased to console your servant Joseph and dispose him to assist me in the fulfillment of your great works. Do not permit, my Lord and God, that he execute his resolve and withdraw from me.”

I want to trust the Lord with all my heart, but tonight, I am feeling very anxious.

Reflection:

Many times I feel a lot of anxiety, just like Mary did. How do I react when I feel anxious? Do I turn to the Lord or do I try to resolve the problems on my own?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 12

“Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.” Matthew 1:19

Joseph knows. I knew it the minute I saw him. He came to see me yesterday, in the afternoon. As opposed to the previous night, there was no joy in him. This time, he did not bring me flowers. We did not sit outside to talk and enjoy each other’s company.

When I saw him coming towards the house through my window, he looked like he had aged ten years. He was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. That’s how I knew that he knew.

He knocked at the door, and I opened it. I was home alone. “Is it true?” he asked me. I did not have to answer him. He could read the truth in my eyes. “Who told you?” I asked him. “Clopas came to congratulate me,” he said. “I guess you mentioned it to Salome, and she told Clopas.” We had a short conversation. I wanted to explain it all to him, but how could I? “He would never believe my story,” I kept telling myself. Joseph was a normal, simple, hard working man. He was not going to believe stories about celestial messages. Our short conversation concluded with him saying: “I don’t understand.” I could tell that he was at the verge of crying, but he was holding back the tears. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him that I was the same Mary that he loved. I wanted to tell him that I was still a virgin, that I had not been with another man. But I didn’t say a word. When he left, he looked like a very old man.

I hardly slept last night. My soul was full of tenderness and compassion for the suffering that I knew I had caused Joseph. “I waited too long,” I kept telling myself. “Maybe if I had told him before he found out through his brother Clopas, he would have believed me.” I kept praying to the Lord to please send an angel to Joseph, just like he had sent one to me to announce the good news.

I finally resigned the whole matter into the hands of divine Providence. Although my compassion for Joseph and my love for him made me anxious to console and comfort him, I had to wait and trust that the Lord would make things right in His time, not mine. I knew that somehow Joseph had to be part of the plan, and that he had been chosen by God to be the earthly father of His Son. I just had to be patient, and allow God to reveal His plan to Joseph in His own peculiar way.

It’s morning now, and though I should be busy with domestic duties, it’s like if all the energy has been extracted from my body. My aunt asked me if I was sick, since she was concerned that I was still in my room long after the sun came out. I must have looked pale to her because she told me that it would be best if I stayed in bed and rested. I am alone now, writing on my journal.

I knew that Salome could not keep the secret. Yes, she did not tell Joseph directly, but she had to tell someone, and sure enough, Joseph found out. But it was not fair to blame Salome completely. Joseph was going to find out sooner or later. I just wished it had been later.

My biggest concern was thinking about what Joseph needed to do. According to our laws, he was obliged to deliver me to the authorities to be stoned, for this was the punishment of an adulteress convicted of the crime. But I could not imagine that the Lord would allow this. If I was carrying God’s Son, surely He would protect us.

I prayed to the Lord to console Joseph, and to reveal the mystery to him, just like He had revealed it to Zacharias and Elizabeth.

Reflection:

Mary had the same worries and fears that any young girl in her condition would have experienced. Who is Mary to me personally? What is her place in my life? When have I said "yes" to God, not knowing the consequences or outcome of my obedience?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 11

"When His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit." Matthew 1:18

Salome, Joseph's sister, came to visit me today very early in the morning. She is one of my closest friends in Nazareth. She wanted to know all about my visit to Elizabeth, and the birth of the mysterious child that everyone is talking about. Salome and me are as different as a lion and a lamb. I cherish my silent moments while Salome can never be quiet, not even when we attend the synagogue on the Sabbath. She is always laughing and dancing, even without music. At the same time, she has a heart of gold. She is always the first one to take a plate of food to the poor man that sits by the entrance to our town, and she always helps the older ladies to carry their dirty clothing to the river or to bring the water from the well.

I prepared a simple breakfast for her, made up of milk, bread and grapes. We sat to talk, and I told her everything that I had done during my three months with Elizabeth. "Do you think that John is the promised Messiah?" she asked me. I did not want to reveal too much, so all I told her was that I knew that he had an important mission, but I did not know if he was the Messiah. While I was with her, I felt weak and she had to help me get up. This had not happened to me while I was visiting Elizabeth, and it had to happen with Salome. "Mary, what's wrong? If I did not know you better, I would think that you were expecting." I must have turned the color of a ripe tomato, because she looked at me, and said: "I don't believe it. You are expecting." I told her, "Salome, it's not what you think..." She did not allow me to finish. "Mary, you don't need to be embarrassed. You are betrothed to my brother. You would not be the first woman to become pregnant before the official ceremony. In the eyes of the Lord, you are already married."

I decided that the best weapon was to keep silent, and not share more information than I needed to.  But Salome would not stop asking me. "Come on, Mary, you have to tell me. When did it happen? Was it before you left to Ein Kerem or when Joseph went to pick you up?" I finally told her to please not share the news with anyone since I still had not said anything to Joseph. "Don't worry, Mary, your secret is safe with me." 

Finally, after two hours, Salome left. I went to my room, and I knelt on the floor to pray. "Lord, you are my rock and my salvation. Please, You need to guide me. If Salome knows, pretty soon everyone else will know too. Salome is not known for being able to keep a secret. She will tell someone, and before long, Joseph will find out. Please, Lord, let me know what I should do. Should I tell him? And how? And when? I have so much confusion within my heart, that I need You. Do not abandon me now, oh Lord."

The day continued as if nothing was different. I broomed the floors and cleaned the dust from the furniture. Then, I went to find my aunt to help her with the clothing. She was washing in the river, so I stayed there to help her, and then to bring the pile of clean clothing back home to hang in the clothesline. We talked about my upcoming wedding. It seemed to be the preferred topic at all hours of the day and night. She was finishing my dress, and she wanted my opinion on which flowers to use for the headpiece. I could not care less whether she used daisies or jasmine. I had much bigger worries on my mind, but I did not want to disappoint my aunt, so I told her that daisies would be fine. "Who knows if there will even be a wedding?" I thought to myself.

At night, Joseph came to visit. He brought me wild flowers that he picked up on the way. We sat outside to contemplate the moon and the stars. He was so in love with me that it showed through his pores. He looked radiant and full of joy. I thought of telling him that night, but how could I destroy his happiness? "Let him be happy for a few more days," I told myself.

When he left, he hugged me, and told me that I smell like jasmine and lily of the valley. Oh, what I would have done to prevent the agony that his heart was sure to experience in a short amount of time. If I could stop time, I would have stopped it tonight.

Reflection:

Who are the people I tend not to think about much? Who are the people I would not miss if they were out of the picture? Lord, develop in me a compassionate heart, just like Salome.

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:

1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of
Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet

4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun

All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 10

“And Mary stayed with her about three months, and then returned to her home.”

I am back in Nazareth. Four days after John was born, Joseph showed up in Ein Kerem unexpectedly. The family that I had traveled with from Nazareth, had already returned after their sick relative passed away. Joseph had a small break in his work, and decided to go pick me up. He did not want to risk that I would need to return by myself in a caravan with complete strangers.

On arriving at the house, Joseph was welcomed with indescribable reverence and devotion by Elizabeth and Zacharias; for now also the holy priest knew that he was the guardian of the sacramental treasures of Heaven, though this was yet unknown to Joseph himself. I received him in modest and discreet jubilation. Yes, I was very happy to see him, but at the same time, I was worried, because I knew that I would soon need to share my secret with him, and I did not know what his reaction would be. The spiritual part of me, wanted to trust God blindly, but the human aspect, was filled with doubts.

When I first saw Joseph, I knelt before him and asked for his blessing. I also asked for his pardon, for not having been by his side for nearly three months during my visit with my cousin Elizabeth. Joseph answered that there was nothing to pardon since I had asked his permission, and he had granted it. My duty was to serve my cousin Elizabeth, and I had acted accordingly.

We stayed in Ein Kerem until baby John was circumcised, but two days later, we departed. I was able to spend a few minutes alone with Elizabeth, Zacharias, and baby John, while Joseph mounted on the donkey our few possessions, and the food that we would take on our journey. Zacharias addressed me with the greatest reverence. “My Mistress,” he said, “praise and bless eternally your Maker, who in His infinite mercy has chosen you among all His creatures as His Mother, as the sole Keeper of all His great blessings and sacraments. Be mindful of me, your servant, before your Lord and God, that He may lead me in peace through this exile to the security of the eternal peace which we hope for, and that through you I may merit the vision of His Divinity, which is the glory of the Saints. Remember also, O Lady, my house and family, and especially my son John, and pray to the Most High for your people.”

Joseph was held in high veneration by Zacharias and Elizabeth; for they had come to know his high dignity before he himself was yet aware of it. Zacharias gave him a blessing, and Joseph, happy in his Treasure, the full value of which as yet he did not know, took leave of all and we departed for Nazareth.

The first part of our journey, we were on our own. Once again, I noticed angels accompanying us, and even though the angels were in corporeal form, they were visible only to me. This time alone with Joseph, gave me time to converse with him. We spoke about what had been happening in Nazareth while I was gone, and about the preparations for our wedding. He told me that everyone was very excited about the upcoming nuptials, which would take place in less than two months. We also spoke about deeper subjects of our faith. We talked about the salvation of souls and the mercies of the Lord, of the coming of the Redeemer, of the prophecies given to the ancient Fathers concerning Him, and of other mysteries and sacraments of the Most High.

When we reached Jerusalem, we joined a caravan that was traveling towards Nazareth, since it would not be safe for just the two of us to travel alone. Even though there was an army of angels guarding us, Joseph was not aware of their presence, so for his peace of mind, I allowed him to make the arrangements. We spent one night in Jerusalem, and the next morning, we were on our way with a group of twenty-one travelers made up of men, women, and children.

The return trip was much easier than the journey from Nazareth to Ein Kerem. We did not encounter any bandits in our path, nor any wild boars. The worst part of the journey was the heat. We were already at the peak of summer, and it was excruciatingly hot when we were crossing the desert. Joseph did everything in his power to lighten my discomfort. I proceeded most of the way seated in the saddle of the humble beast that Joseph had brought me for the journey.

It took us four days to return to Nazareth. And here I am now, knowing that a Holy Life is growing within me, but still keeping the secret to myself. I can hear the barking of dogs in the distance, while I sit in the same chair where the angel found me more than three months ago. Oh, how I wish that the angel would return, and give me a hint as to how I should share the news with Joseph. But all I have around me is silence. No angelic light, no holy vision.

Please, Lord, tell me what to do. Should I tell him? Or should I just wait until he notices? I can already feel a small bump in my belly. In another month, I will not be able to hide it any longer. What should I do, Lord? Please enlighten me.

Reflection:

Joseph was held in high veneration by Zacharias and Elizabeth for they had come to know his high dignity. What can I learn from Joseph’s example? What is his place in my life?

Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.

25 Steps with Mary: From Nazareth to Bethlehem-Day 9

“Now the time had come for Elizabeth to give birth, and she gave birth to a son." Luke 1:57

Today, Elizabeth gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She went into labor in the early morning hours, and I was sent to call Zacharias’ sister who has helped in many deliveries. Our Lord displayed His great mercy toward Elizabeth, and the delivery was fast and easy. Elizabeth asked me to take the newborn child into my arms, and I offered him as a new oblation to the eternal Father. I pronounced this prayer for him: “Highest Lord and Father, all holy and powerful, accept in your honor this offering of your most holy Son. He is sanctified by the Only-begotten and rescued from the effects of sin and from the power of your ancient enemies. Receive this morning’s sacrifice, and infuse into this child the blessings of your Holy Spirit, in order that he may be a faithful minister to You and to Your Only-begotten Son.” I perceived how the Lord enriched this child, and how He had chosen him as my Son’s Precursor. I also felt within me the effects of His admirable blessings.

In the afternoon, many relatives and other acquaintances of the house of Zacharias came to visit Elizabeth and meet the newborn baby. While they were gathered, they began to speak about the arrangements for the circumcision of the child, which according to our Jewish law, would need to take place on the eighth day. Complying with the custom observed among us Jews, especially among the more distinguished, in order to resolve upon the name to be given to the child; for, in addition to the ordinary preparations and consultations concerning the name to be given to a son, the high position of Zacharias and Elizabeth and the news of the miraculous fecundity of the mother naturally suggested the existence of some great mystery to the minds of all their relations. Zacharias was still mute, and therefore it was necessary that Elizabeth should preside at this meeting. Over and above the high esteem which she inspired, she now exhibited such evident signs of the exalted renewal and sanctification of her soul, that all her relatives and friends noticed the change. I looked at my cousin, and I also noticed that she exhibited a kind of effulgence which made her mysteriously attractive. The relatives then appealed by signs to Zacharias, who, being unable to speak, asked for a pen and declared his will by writing upon the tablet: “John is his name.” The relatives were all astonished because no one among them was called by that name, and they expected the baby to be called Zacharias, like his father. Everyone kept murmuring, “‘What then will this child turn out to be?’ For the hand of the Lord was certainly with him.” (1) At the same time, Zacharias found himself freed from his affliction, and, to the astonishment and fear of all present, he began to speak:

“Blessed be the Lord God of Israel,

For He has visited us and accomplished redemption for His people,

And has raised up a horn of salvation for us

In the house of David His servant—

As He spoke by the mouth of His holy prophets from of old—

Salvation from our enemies,

And from the hand of all who hate us;

To show mercy toward our fathers,

And to remember His holy covenant,

The oath which He swore to Abraham our father,

To grant us that we, being rescued from the hand of our enemies,

Might serve Him without fear,

In holiness and righteousness before Him all our days.

And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;

For you will go on before the Lord to prepare His ways;

To give to His people the knowledge of salvation

By the forgiveness of their sins,

Because of the tender mercy of our God,

With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,

To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,

To guide our feet into the way of peace.” (2)

The whole household of Zacharias was in awe. They thought that in his prayer, he was referring to his newborn child. But I knew that the first part of the prayer was addressed to my Son, the God of Israel. Zacharias had been mute for nine months, and when he is finally able to speak, the first words he utters are a blessing, not to his son, but to my Son.

After everyone left, and the house was quiet once again, I had the opportunity to sit down with Zacharias. He told me that his household had been sanctified by the presence of the incarnate Word in my womb. He also explained to me how an angel had appeared to him while he was burning incense at the Temple, and told him that his wife, Elizabeth, would bear a son, and that he should name him John. The angel also told him that John would prepare the people for the Lord, my Son. I asked him what had caused his muteness, and he told me that he had not believed the angel’s words, and thus the angel had decreed that he would be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things took place. That day was today, and thus, Zacharias had regained his speech.

I am now in my room, pondering all these things in the silence of my heart. I know that my time with this blessed family is coming to an end. This fills me with sadness because I have drawn towards myself all their happy hearts. Zacharias told me that during these three months that I have spent with them, I have obtained for them from my most holy Son the plenitude of celestial gifts. When the time to leave arrives, this knowledge will fill me with joy and give me the courage to return to Nazareth.

Reflection:
Mary pondered in the silence of her heart all the events that were taking place in her life. How do I ponder the events that God sends to my life? How do I seek to understand God’s purpose?
References:
1. Luke 1:66
2. Luke 1: 68-79