As my belly grew, so did my joy and my worry. Ever since the Annunciation, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes, I am exhilarated with joy, and others, I am overcome with worry. I want to trust God with all my heart, but my motherly intuition that there will be trouble in our future, gets in the way of that trust.
I am excited because in less than a month, I will be holding my baby boy in my arms. Today, Joseph showed up with a wooden cradle for Jesus, the name that God has given our baby. I was overwhelmed by how much I love Joseph, and all that he is doing for this baby that is not his by blood.
We placed the cradle in my room, next to my bed. Right away, I dressed the cradle with the blanket that I have sewn with so much care. I also put in there the swaddling clothes and coverlets that I have already finished.
If I close my eyes, I can easily image our baby sleeping in that cradle. But soon, the thorn of anxiety invades my thoughts. “Will Jesus be truly a King? Or a priest in the Jerusalem temple? Maybe He will just be a prophet. And that thought scares me. The history of our prophets is a complicated one. Those that dare say the truth, putting it all on the line, ended up imprisoned or worst. Jeremiah, who condemned idolatry, the greed of priests, and false prophets, was thrown into a pit. I have a feeling that my Son is going to get into a lot of trouble, because unfortunately, those that have power, don’t want to hear the truth. “My little Emmanuel, Son of Yahweh, will you be understood?”
Joseph told me that he had to return to Sepphoris the following day. He was not getting many new orders from Nazareth, so he had to go to the capital where it was urgent that he finished the big assignment that had been commissioned to him. Even though I do not like it when he leaves, I will keep myself busy finishing up the swaddling bands, and cleaning the house for when he returns.
The hours spent sewing the baby’s clothing are my quiet time, which I use to pray to our Lord. It’s a time of waiting, for the coming of the Lord.
Reflection:
Mary had feelings of anxiety and worry while she waited for her Son to be born. Have I ever experienced anxiety or the sense of being abandoned by God? How does my faith carry me through these times?
Copyright © 2019 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.
Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:
1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun
All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.
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