“And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.” Luke 23:56
Last night, I must have fallen asleep on the courtyard from cheer exhaustion. John found me, and he took me inside the house. I don’t know how long I slept, until voices woke me up.
I came out of the room, and found Peter and John in the kitchen talking. When Peter saw me, he came running and he hugged me. Then, he began to cry. He was inconsolable. He kept telling me, “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve to be His disciple. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t understand why he was saying that. What did he do? Finally, after he calmed down, he told me that he denied Jesus three times. He said that during the last supper, Jesus had told him: “Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” (1) And just like Jesus had predicted, in the courtyard, three times he had been asked if he was one of Jesus’ disciples, and three times he denied it and answered “no.” I now understood why Peter had left the courtyard in such a hurry after I heard a rooster crowing. I told him that Jesus and I forgave him.
I sat down with them in the kitchen. They could not understand why this had happened. They kept telling me: “If He is the Son of God, why would God allow Him to die?” Honestly, I could not answer them because I kept asking myself the same question. Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Him to come down from the cross? Wouldn’t that have taught everyone a lesson? Then, they would have had no choice but to believe that He truly was the Son of God.
After Peter left, I went back to my room. I needed to be alone. But that was not going to be possible. A lot of people came to visit me today. Shortly after Peter left, Mary, Martha and Lazarus showed up. It was the Sabbath. All of us should be at the Temple. But nobody cared about the Temple and its customs anymore. They sat with me for about an hour. We didn’t have much to say. We were all in shock. Lazarus kept saying: “If he brought me back from the dead, why couldn’t He save himself?”
While they were still there, my family arrived. Mary and Clopas got there first with all four of their sons, their wives and children. Mary kept hugging me, and asking me to forgive her for all the years that she had treated me badly because she didn’t believe that Jesus was the Messiah. Shortly after, Salome, Samuel, their daughters and son-in-law arrived. Salome sat by my side and she held my hand. It seemed like another lifetime ago when she had discovered that I was expecting a Baby from her brother Joseph.
Joseph, dear Joseph. How I wish I could have him by my side, and yet, at the same time, I am so glad that he is not here because he doesn’t have to endure this pain.
Sarah and Luke were the next ones to arrive. “Mother,” cried Sarah when she saw me. She came running to me and she hugged me. She loved Jesus as if He was her own brother. She cried and cried and cried. “Mother, I don’t understand. He performed so many miracles. He cured so many. If He had wanted to, He would not have had to die. Why couldn’t He save Himself?”
“I don’t know, Sarah,” I told her. “All I know, is that this is all part of God’s plan. We may not understand it now, but we have to trust Him.”
Last but not least, John’s parents showed up. I had met them in Capernaum when Jesus started his ministry. Of course, they were in Jerusalem for the Passover. John’s mother sat with me, and she held my hand. She didn’t say much, but this gesture somehow brought me comfort. Only another mother could understand what I was going through.
“How can I live without Him?” I asked her. She just hugged me.
After everyone left, and it was John and me, he said: “Mother, I know that I could never take Jesus’ place. But I want you to know, that I will take care of you as if I was your own son.”
I hugged John. He had always been my favorite of all the twelve disciples. There was an innocence about him. It’s as if he had never grown up and that childhood sweetness had stayed with him forever. He was good inside and out.
I told him to go to sleep, that it had been a long day, and I knew he had hardly slept the previous night.
I stayed by myself a bit longer. I said my prayers, and I asked God for understanding. In the silence of the Sabbath, I wait in faith and hope.
Reflection:
John’s loving care for Mary is a model for us to follow on how to serve others. How do I support those who are suffering a serious loss or grieving the death of a loved one? I thank God for all those who were by my side in times of difficulty or sorrow in my own life.
Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.
References:
- Matthew 26:34
Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:
1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun
All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.
No comments:
Post a Comment