Letters to Heaven: I Hand My Children Over to You

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30–31

January 16, 2008

Dear Jesus:

I was very tempted to skip praying today because I was running late. But I decided to give You fifteen minutes and what message You have given me:

"Early the next morning, Hannah and Elkanah worshipped before the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:19

Prayer was the first of Hannah and Elkanah's duties. So often, it is my last and most neglected duty. Prayer unites me to You in a communion of mind and heart. Prayer brings me peace and confidence that my day will go well.

"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted my request." 1 Samuel 1:27

This made me think of how much I prayed to have a child. Even though in my mind it took a very long time for me to conceive a child, I got pregnant exactly when I needed to get pregnant according to Your will. Each of my babies was born exactly on the day that they were meant to be born. How can I doubt then that You will take care of them? You knew them before they were born. You planned them. You perfected them. I know that You have plans for each one of them, and just like Hannah handed over her son Samuel to You, I hand over my children to You. 

"Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:28

I hand my children over to You, God, to do with them as You please. You have a plan for them. Let Your plan be manifested to them in Your time, not mine. Guide their steps. Help them make decisions according to Your will.

I love You, Jesus!!!

January 16, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's very hard for a mother to release her children to You, especially for a "helicopter" mom like me. Yes, I know that You love them more than I could ever love them, even though that is hard for me to comprehend because I don't know a greater love than a mother's love. I trust that You have their best interest at heart, but it would be nice if You shared Your plan for them with me. After all, You entrusted them to me. I would really appreciate it if You kept me in the loop.

It's tough to remain on the sidelines and not interfere with Your plans. But when I look back, I realize that Your plan was always better than mine. I would have preferred it if my boys had stayed a little closer to home when they went away to college. But I placed it on Your hands and they both ended up in the northeast. Their college years were tough, to say the least. But after a few bumps and bruises, Rafi graduated and now works for a great company in New York. And I can see your footprints alongside him every step of the way. In many instances, I only see your footprints so I know You were carrying him. Alex also had his share of bumps and bruises, especially this past year. But I trust You with him completely. Even though I would love to know where he will end up, I am stepping aside and leaving it in Your hands.

And my Chabeli stayed close to us the entire time. You led her to UM where she did amazing, and even though I didn't really want any of them to follow in my footsteps, she ended up studying accounting and she has a job that she really enjoys.

Now I'm entrusting them to You for the next stage in their lives, which is their vocation to marriage or religious life. Rafi is already engaged. Chabeli has a boyfriend. And Alex... I wish You would give me a glimpse into his future, but for now all I can do is trust You.

They are in Your hands, Jesus, all three of them. I hand my children over to You, like I've done all their life. Lead them down the path that You have chosen for them. And I pray that they will always have a gentle soul that seeks You.

I love You, Jesus!!!