“O Blessed Joseph, who yielded up thy last breath in the arms of Jesus and Mary, pray for us and for the dying of this day. We come to you today, asking for your intercession, to take our prayers to your Son Jesus. Please ask Him to have mercy on us and on the whole world, and to bring an end to the coronavirus. Amen.”
My sweet Joseph is gone, and I miss him tremendously. A week ago, he became very sick. He would not stop coughing. Our town doctor did what he could, but there was no medication that would stop his coughing. And the fever was so high, he would spend the day and night sweating profusely. All I could do was place cold compresses on his forehead, and warm towels on his chest with oil or wine. Sometimes he would be delirious, remembering the killing of the innocent children in Bethlehem or the heat of the desert or the furniture that he had to finish. I would try to calm him down with soothing words but it was so difficult when I couldn’t even bring down his fever.
That cold winter night I knew he would not survive the night. He was so weak and skinny, that he was almost translucent. He would look at me with such sweetness in his face, as if he wanted to thank me for every minute that I had spent by his side. Before he felt asleep, he was trembling so hard that between Jesus and I we had to hold him. Finally, once he felt asleep, the trembling stopped and the fever subsided. It seemed like he had improved. But in the middle of the night, he woke up. I sat with Jesus by his side. He told us that an angel had appeared to him in his dream.
“What did he tell you? I asked him.
“He told me to get moving.”
“Where are we going this time, Joseph?”
“This time I’m going by myself, Mary.”
I held back the tears and I kissed his sweaty forehead. “Alone, Joseph? You can’t go alone. I am here by your side with your Son. We will never leave you alone. We will always be with you.”
“My Son? Oh yes, Jesus. I can see now.”
His face filled with tremendous peace. “Jesus, Mary.” And just like that, he was gone.
I hugged him and I bathe his still warm body with my tears. Jesus, standing by my side, tried to hold back His tears. But when I hugged Him, He couldn’t hold it anymore, and He began to cry.
We sent word to his brother Clopas and his sister Salome. Soon, they both arrived with their spouses and children. Joseph looked like he was asleep. Jesus sat at his feet praying for his soul. It smell of angels and jasmine.
Now that the funeral and the burial have passed, and people have stopped coming to our house, I feel an incredible peace within me. Yes, I do miss him tremendously. I miss his physical presence. I miss our evening talks. I miss having him at the table at dinner time. I even miss his silence. He had a gift of never bothering anyone with his presence and yet, he was always present. Whenever I needed something fixed or hung or nailed, he was there. His silence never felt empty. There are happy silences and sad silences. Joseph’s silence was perfect. And that is why, even though he is physically gone, I feel his presence near me. It’s as if his spirit stayed behind.
It seems like our life together passed in the blink of an eye, and yet, so much has happened since Jesus’ birth twenty years ago. Today I was remembering that day in the river, all those years ago, when he saw me, got nervous, and slipped into the water. God chose him for me, and I couldn’t have been happier with His choice. And now he’s gone. I’m a widow at the age of 35. I still feel so young, and at the same time, so old.
“Mother,” I heard Jesus calling me. “Should we bake the bread?”
“Yes, Jesus. Let’s bake bread.” And as we broke bread together at dinner time, we both knew that Joseph was alive and very close to us.
Reflection:
Do I believe that those I love that are no longer here on earth are alive in heaven? Where would my faith be without belief in the Resurrection?
Copyright © 2020 Christy Romero. All rights reserved.
Resources from the following books are being used on this journey:
1. The Mystical City of God: A Popular Abridgement of the Divine History and Live of the Virgin Mother of God by Venerable Mary of
Agreda
2. The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen
3. Las Palabras Calladas: Diario de Maria de Nazaret by Pedro Miguel Lamet
4. My Soul Magnifies the Lord: A Scriptural Journey with Mary by Jeanne Kun
All Bible references are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise specified.
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