Letters to Heaven: You Are Present in the Interruptions

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” —Matthew 6:34

September 30, 2013

Dear Jesus:

This past weekend we went up to UConn for family weekend. Chabeli came with us. After one month without Alex, we were all dying to see him. It was an awesome weekend. Even though I signed up for all the events, we only made it to the Saturday brunch. The rest of the time, we did things on our own. The main purpose of our trip was to spend time with Alex, and that's what we did.

We had a delicious dinner on Saturday night at a little restaurant near the university called Altnaveigh Inn. The food was spectacular. It reminded me of The Peacock Inn in Princeton and a little French restaurant that we loved when we visited Crested Butte. It was simply fabulous.

Earlier this month, I also went to Orlando with my Belen Emmaus sisters for a "Women of Faith" conference. I have to share with You that I have mixed feelings about the conference. On one hand, I enjoyed the talks tremendously. I was also blown away by the number of women that were present, all from different backgrounds and religious denominations. It was a sight for sore eyes to see everyone praising You together. I felt the joy all around me. However, what I did not like was the fact that the conference was auditorium style. We did not have any opportunities for personal reflection. Also, the place was too dark for journaling. And another thing that I disliked was that they were constantly trying to sell items. I felt like if I was at a sports event instead of a religious conference.

I probably won't go back. I prefer the silent retreats or Emmaus. Next year, if I don't have the opportunity to attend a silent retreat, maybe I'll try a "Life in the Spirit" retreat at my parish. Wherever You lead me, Jesus. You are in control. I am thankful for the opportunity to attend the conference this year, and to witness that there are a lot of people that are still following You.

My favorite talk was given by Mark Lowry, author of the song "Mary did you know?" which is one of my favorite songs. He gave the first talk which set the mood for the weekend. I was very impressed when he spoke about Your Mother, and he shared his profound love for her. The last person that I expected would be mentioned in this conference was Your Mom. Therefore, to kick off the conference hearing about her, and to listen to the song, was awesome. He said something very interesting. The only one that knew without a doubt that You were the Son of God at the moment of your crucifixion was Mama Mary. He said that if You had not been God's Son, Mary, just like any normal mother, would have started screaming, "Forgive Him. He's crazy. He says those things because He's not well in His mind. Of course He's not God's Son. He's my Son, mine and Joseph's." But Mama Mary was quiet at the time of your crucifixion because Mama Mary knew that she was a virgin when You were conceived and she received the angel's visit. She was the only one that knew these things. There were no witnesses. He blew me away, especially because he is not Catholic. I was very happy to see that not all Christians deny Mama Mary. Mr. Lowry also said that You are present in the interruptions but rarely in my plans. How true those words are. It reminded me of my grandma telling me: "El hombre propone y Dios dispone." (Man proposes but God decides). How many times have I made plans only to see them evaporate because You have something else in mind. So Jesus, You are in control, of my life and of my plans.

Another great speaker was Sheila Walsh. She encouraged us not to simply exist but to live. I try to do this everyday. That is why I'm always so very busy. She wrote a book, "God loves broken people." I considered buying it, but in the end, I bought the one from Max Lucado, my second favorite speaker. I'm looking forward to reading his book, "You'll get through this."

This month we also started a study about angels in Bible class. I'm amazed by your spiritual world. I hope that one day, You give me the gift to be able to see into your spiritual realm, but even if it never happens, I know that it exists. Thank You for giving us your angels to protect us, to bring us your messages, and to guide us to You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 30, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My friend Anna gave me a little angel to keep me company during our trip. I have had many angel encounters, and most of them have taken place during trips. I will keep my eyes and my ears open during this trip to the angels that You will place on our path.

I know that You are very much present in the interruptions. You know how much I like to plan ahead because I'm a bit compulsive. And You know how much I detest when You alter my plans. This trip was already interrupted once, thanks to hurricane Irma. I guess You wanted us to depart on the feast of the Archangels instead. They will keep us company throughout our trip.

I have released my plans to You, so please, guide us wherever You want us to go. I don't even have trains reserved between the cities. On my original plan, those were booked way in advance. This time, I'll let You decide the day, the time, and the mode of transportation. But if possible, please don't send us any more interruptions. Allow your Mama Mary to walk with us on our journey, and send us angels to lead us and to guide us.

Thank You for protecting us on the first leg of our trip. I am here at the Paris airport, waiting to board our second flight which will take us to Budapest. Please, keep us safe. And continue to protect our family and friends back home.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Surrendering My Agenda

"Even when God's will does not correspond to your own desires, it is always beneficial for you." — St. Arnold Janssen

September 29, 2011

Dear Mama Mary:

You are visiting our home this week. I just finished praying a rosary asking You to intercede for Baby Nico. Please, Mother, ask your Son to heal him if it is His will. Give strength to Caro, Alina, and their whole family as they walk through their valley of tears. Give them endurance as they cross the ring of fire. I know the pain that they are feeling because I have felt it too. My heart goes out to them. You also know the pain they are feeling because You have felt it too. Please, Mother, give them a ray of hope.

I have started my Bible classes at St. Louis. This year, we are studying St. Paul's Letters to the Corinthians. What an amazing apostle St. Paul was. I was asked to lead one of the small groups. My first reaction was "I can't do it, I don't have the time." However, I decided to pray about it. After praying, my answer was still "no," mostly because of tax season. I can't take so much time with all the pressure that tax season places on my shoulders. I called Joan and I told her that I couldn't make the commitment. Obviously, your Son had other plans because Joan called me back and asked me if I could commit until January. At this point, I didn't have any more excuses so I said "yes." I really wanted to participate more actively in the Emmaus retreat this semester but your Son is obviously pushing me in a different direction. I was just reading the letter that I wrote him last month where I surrendered my agenda to Him. Well, He certainly took care of that for me.

I know that I am doing His will because I feel full of joy and filled with the Holy Spirit. I have a group of twelve beautiful ladies that are eager to grow closer to your Son. They want to increase their faith. I hope I can serve your Son well by being a good example of humility. I hope I can help these ladies get closer to Him. In the process, I know that I will also grow closer to Him and my faith will increase.

Now, I dedicate two mornings a week to the Bible class. On Tuesday mornings, I meet with Joan and the other group leaders to prepare the lesson. Please, Mother, intercede for Joan, the leaders and the participants. Keep the enemy away.

Please, continue to intercede for Baby Nico.

I love You, Mama Mary, Our Lady Seat of Wisdom

September 29, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

This year, our Bible study is all about You. I'm so excited. We've only had one lesson and I have learned so much about You already. You have such an important role in salvation history. I had never pictured You as a warrior, but You go to battle every day for us. You have been in constant battle with Satan. He despises You so much, but You will win the battle. I know that sometimes it seems that the world is turning evil, but I believe that the majority of humanity is good, and when push comes to shove, they will turn to God.

Six years ago, our whole community of faith was praying for Baby Nico who was very sick. Today, I want to say a special prayer for his mom, Caro, who is expecting her third baby. Losing Baby Nico was the hardest thing she ever had to go through, but your Son blessed her with a beautiful baby girl, Bella Nicole, three years later. I know that Baby Nico has a special place in heaven, and he will live forever in Caro's heart, as well as in the hearts of everyone that knows this beautiful family. I picture, You, Mama Mary, rocking him to sleep every night. Please, fill Caro with your blessings so that she will bring another beautiful, healthy, baby girl into this world next year.

Today, I'm leaving to Europe. I was supposed to have left two weeks ago, but your Son had a different plan. It shouldn't surprise me. My agenda is always different than His. But I'm surrendering it to Him, and I'll let Him lead the way. Please, Mama Mary, accompany us on this trip, and please,  watch over my babies like You always do.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

Letters to Heaven: Parenthood is for Life... There is No Retirement

"Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray." Proverbs 22:6

September 28, 2010

Dear Jesus:

All my babies are happy so I am happy. Alex is doing fine in school, more or less. He brought a C in Spanish in his report card already. Not a good start. Rafe took away the football games. I would have preferred it if he had taken away the video games instead. As far as everything else, Alex is doing great. He's playing tennis three times a week, he continues with his guitar lessons, he has a great group of friends, and he's just a happy kid. Jesus, keep him always happy.

Rafi has settled back at Princeton. We have been talking to him two to three times per week. He's happy with all his classes. He has not complained about his roommates or anything else for that matter. Jesus, I pray for him. I leave him in your hands to protect and to guide through the path of righteousness.

My Chabeli is also doing really well. I'm so proud of her. The first few days in London were rough because she got sick to her stomach. But she handled it like a trooper. Once she got to the university, she got a cold, "the fresher's flu," she said. Please Jesus, keep her healthy. Don't let her get sick while she's so far away. Other than those minor inconveniences, she has been handling the separation from us mighty well. She was a bit homesick at the beginning, but now she's enjoying the experience. She has made a bunch of new international friends. She enjoyed her 21st birthday to the max. Her new and old friends even baked her a cake with candles and all. They also went to celebrate at a bar. I have seen the pictures, and she looks beautiful and happy. All the technology of the 21st century is quite amazing. I have been able to talk to her every single day either by phone, video-skype, chat through Facebook or text message. I get to read her blog and see her pictures. It makes it so much easier to be a parent. This weekend they are going to Edinburgh. Please, keep them safe Jesus. Keep all bad thieves and bad spirits far, far away from them. Guard them and protect them. Send an army of angels to watch over them.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 28, 2017

Dear Jesus;

This past weekend, Alex was involved in a bad car accident in Connecticut. Thank You for protecting him, Jesus. It could have been so much worst. He was hit on the passenger side so he didn't sustain any injuries. Thank You also because he was alone. If someone had been sitting on that side, it would have been bad. I also want to thank You because You sent him a humble and polite police officer, and the person on the other car was also very nice to Alex. Thank You for always surrounding my babies with angels.

We were at a restaurant when we got the call. Funny that we had just finished toasting to parenthood, since we were celebrating 28 years since we had our second child. Rafael said: "Can we retire already from parenthood?" Not a minute had passed since he uttered those words, when his phone rang and Alex was on the line telling him that he had crashed. I guess there is no retirement from parenthood. This club is for life.

We were supposed to be in Vienna when he called us. Our trip was postponed because of hurricane Irma. You knew that it was much better for us to receive that phone call at 7 pm in Miami than at 1 am in Vienna. Thank You, Jesus, for changing our plans.

Please, protect all our babies. Surround them with angels. Keep them safe and guarded at all times.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Do not Wish it Away

"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” —John16:22

September 27, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I'm sitting here with You in your Sacred Garden. It's very early on this Sunday morning and everyone is sleeping. Even the dog is snoring next to me.

As I sit here with You, I want to ask You Jesus to please heal my son Rafi. Jesus, maybe I'm being selfish but I want You to heal him completely. I know that everyone says that this illness is for life but they don't know what they are talking about. Those that say that don't know You. They don't know what You are capable of. You cured him once already, from the encephalitis. You can cure him again.

I know that this illness is treatable with medication. I am very grateful that his doctor seems to have found the right medication. I am very thankful that Rafi is doing so much better. Please, don't think that I'm so selfish that I don't recognize that. I do. I am happy. I am at peace. I am filled with gratitude for everything that has been accomplished. However, I still want more, and I apologize if You think that I'm very ungrateful. I want my healthy Rafi back. I know that You are bigger than all the doctors. I know that if You place your hands on Rafi, You will heal him.

I understand that he probably has to go through this to find his purpose, his way, and the road back to You. I know that in going through this, he will find meaning for his life, and he will become a much better person: stronger, wiser, more loving and caring. I know that You are refining him, that is why You had to put him in the fire.

I don't know how much longer You will need to put him back on the fire. I hope that You are done with him. I pray that he's fully baked. Once You are finished with him, when You feel that You don't need to put him inside the oven again, please heal him completely, so he can be a better Rafi, a stronger Rafi, and a healthier Rafi.

Jesus, sorry if you feel I'm ungrateful for wanting full health for my boy.

I love You, Jesus!!!


October 1, 2009

Dear Jesus:

I want to start by apologizing to You. Last week, I was very selfish and ungrateful. I wanted it all. I wanted Rafi's total healing without medication. You sent me two messages, one through Elyna and one through Romi, my two long time friends. Elyna told me to tell Rafi not to "wish it away." That's what I was doing. I was "wishing it away." He needs to learn to live with this illness, even if it means that he has to take the medication for life. Romi then reinforced your message by telling me that taking medication is not a bad thing. She told me, "If it's meant to help, take the pill. Why suffer if there is a pill that can help? Why withstand pain if there is something out there to alleviate it?" The important thing is to be able to lead a normal life, and if he needs medication to help him, then thank You, Jesus, for the pill. I promise never again to wish his illness away.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 27, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today Rafi will be sharing his story with his coworkers. I am so proud of him. He has embraced his illness beyond my wildest imagination. I was the one that struggled with it and begged You to heal him. Rafi accepted it without ever questioning You. He never wished away his illness. He has always accepted his cross with pride and dignity. And I know, that he will help so many people by sharing his testimony.

We each have a cross to carry. We need to learn to live with our cross and embrace it, just like You did on your way to Calvary. We will enter heaven through our cross. It will be the ladder and the key into heaven. That is why we should never wish away our cross. We should offer it for someone that  has a heavier cross than ours.

Please, Jesus, be with Rafi today. Carry him and embrace him. He's very nervous, and so am I. But I trust You fully and completely. I have no doubt that the reason why You kept him in the oven for so long is because all along, You had a plan. He is fully baked. It's time to open the oven and share your beautiful creation with the world. May your will be done.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: On the Road to Emmaus

"Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road?" Luke 24:32

September 26, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, sitting at the foot of the cross. I am in front of You, in the chapel of Casa Manresa, while the Belen Emmaus is taking place.

Jesus, I want to pray for the team, starting with the leaders and ending with the helpers. Please help them to be transparent so that everyone can see You through them and in them. Help them to be able to keep the team united as one body. Let nothing disturb the peace that they are trying to keep in place. Let them understand that their duty as servants is to keep their eyes on You all the time.

I want to pray for the table leaders. They have a big job because they are your ears, your mouth, your eyes... They are the closest to the retreatants. It is through them that the retreatants will open up or remain closed. Help them to be humble, loving, caring and understanding. Help them to listen without judging. Help them understand that their job is just to be your instruments. An instrument of peace and love.

I want to pray for the talks. Let the women assigned to witness be a true reflection of your love for them. May they open up their hearts so that the retreatants can see You within their hearts.

I want to pray for the "Martha's": the kitchen helpers, logistics, and all the women that have worked and are working very hard to make this retreat possible. Allow them to understand that everything they are doing, they are doing it for You. It doesn't matter if things are perfect, what matters is how much love they put in the doing.

I want to pray for the Blessed Sacrament prayer team. They are at your feet the entire weekend, praying, meditating... They are the backbone of the retreat. Bless them, Jesus, with your love, your peace, and the knowledge that You are here with them.

Last but not least, I want to pray for the retreatants. May their hearts be opened to feel You, to hear You, to love You. Please, Jesus, come out and meet them in the road to Emmaus. Don't let them leave without seeing your face.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 26, 2017

Dear Jesus:

The Emmaus retreat of fall 2009 was the first one that I was not part of the team. I didn't participate in the spring retreats because of tax season, but I had been able to actively participate on every fall retreat until that year. I was dealing with Rafi's illness, and I just wasn't ready to open up and share all the pain in my heart. I did go to the Blessed Sacrament, and spent a few hours there with You. How peaceful I feel when I sit at your feet. I wish I could sit there forever. 

While I was there, I felt the love of my Emmaus sisters. Some of them suspected that something was very wrong, but they were too respectful to ask me. Susy, Berny, and Maria came over and hugged me. I felt like You were hugging me. Thank You for my Emmaus sisters, for their love and their prayers. Even though they didn't even know what was going on, they were supporting me and praying for my family. I knew that when the time was right, I would come out of my cocoon, and open up like a butterfly. I returned to the Emmaus last December, and for the first time, I was able to share a small piece of our story. 

Thank You, Jesus, for my community of faith. We pray for each other. We support each other. We encourage each other. We rejoice during happy occasions and we cry when the storms of life affect one of our members. We truly are your Body here on earth. Please, allow Emmaus to continue touching the lives of many men and women that would not otherwise have the opportunity to meet You. Please, Jesus, continue encountering us on the road to Emmaus.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: I Am Just an Ordinary Little Pencil in Your Hands

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hunt

September 25, 2007

Dear Jesus:

This past weekend, I heard your voice loud and clear. I heard your message. I heard your request. However, I have been struggling with the fact that my schedule is jam packed. I have been reviewing my commitments to determine what I can give up in order to make time to obey You.

This morning, I received an email with the above "thought for the day." You are basically telling me that I'm the one that has to decide what I want and what I'm willing to give up for it. You are also sending me a subtle message that I need to re-establish my priorities. You should be my first priority, followed by my family, and then, everything else.

I want to obey You, Jesus, I really do. I want to spread your message of love to the whole world. I have been writing a lot on my journal. I have been feeling the Holy Spirit inspiring me. But I'm still struggling with what I should give up to make more time for You. I cannot give up family time because that's already pretty limited. I cannot give up more time from my job because as it is, I'm going to the office just three times a week. I also have other commitments that I simply can't drop right now. But I can definitely organize my time better in order to dedicate one hour each day to writing. I can spend my first hour of each day meditating on your word. This will get my inspiration juices flowing.

Jesus, I know that if I really want to, I can do it. I know that if You really want me to spread your message, You will help me. I place myself at your service, Lord. I am your handmaiden.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world." St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

September 25, 2008

Dear Jesus:

It's been four days since I finished the Spiritual Exercises and I'm still floating. I feel so happy at your confirmation that what You want from me is to write. I'm not even afraid anymore because I know that You are in control. You will be the one that guides me and will bring my writings to the light if it is your desire. I'm not going to think about the end result, I'm only going to think about the task at hand which is to write. I am also not going to worry about my time constraints. Of course, I have responsibilities that I need to attend to: family, work and home. But I know that I will be able to handle everything with your help.

Today is the first day within my plan that I'm dedicating to You fully. I began the day by walking, praying, and meditating your word. Now, I place myself in your hands. I come to You humbly to use me as your instrument to get your message on paper. I have no plan so it's up to You to guide me. Please, send me your Holy Spirit so that your message can freely flow through me into the paper. I am just an ordinary little pencil in your hands.

I feel very unworthy for this task. I still don't understand why You chose me. You must have your reasons and I won't question them. I am humbled by your request and I promise to do my best to serve You within my limited abilities. I place all my trust in You, my Lord. I already know that I'm embarking on an adventure with You. I want to do what You ask of me. I really do want to follow You wherever You lead me. I am answering your call. Please give me the strength not to stumble and fall. Give me the wisdom to recognize when the enemy uses things or people to get on the way. Help me to gently, but firmly, push them aside. Help me to move forward, and focus on You, Jesus, so that I may do what You want me to do.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"Your words are more powerful than you might think. God can speak through you to help others grow closer to him. The more you open your life, the greater impact you can have." The Word Amongst Us Meditation 8-1-17

September 25, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It was during my first Spiritual Exercises in 2007 when You first planted the seed in my heart that You wanted me to write. I had already been writing for a while in my journal but I didn't want to share You. I wanted to hug You all to myself. You had a different plan. You wanted me to share You. You didn't want me to keep You hidden inside my heart. You wanted me to spread your light into the darkness of the world. You are the light that can help this world come out of the shadows and You didn't want me to keep that light hidden any longer.

I fought You at first because I felt so unworthy. I was just an ordinary woman without any extraordinary talents. But I was being selfish. You knew that if I accepted to be an ordinary pencil in your hands, You would turn my ordinary words into something extraordinary because they would be your words, not mine. I had no idea where the road would lead me, but all I knew was that I had to share the treasure that lived within my heart. The world is hungry for love and I am full of love because I have You. You are love and the world needs You. You needed me to be your messenger and to spread your love.

It took me a while to answer your call. I came up with every possible excuse not to do it. They seemed like good, logical reasons at the time: I don't have the time; I have other responsibilities; the idea didn't come from You, it's just a crazy idea that popped into my head, and it has nothing to do with a request from above. But You knew that I was just making excuses, and therefore You confirmed your request over and over again. Every meditation I read, every homily that I heard, every thought that popped into my mind, was pointing me in the same direction. You were clearly telling me: "Stop procrastinating and start writing."

When I returned to the Spiritual Exercises in 2008, I had written a lot but I had not shared anything. You confirmed your message to me from the previous year, but this time You took it one step further. You told me that I had to share my writings. Was I scared? Extremely. I was not scared of writing, but I was terrified of sharing it. I trusted You completely, though, and You provided the tools.

First, You inspired me to write some Lenten meditations. In 2009, I wrote and shared "48 Steps to Easter" with my Emmaus community. Then, You led me to Bible classes so I could study Your Word and I could learn more about You. You helped me create a blog, something extraordinary since I am technically obtuse. But You taught me how to do it and made something very difficult quite simple. And now, I'm sharing my blog beyond my community of faith. I am sharing it through Facebook. I have no idea how many hearts I'm touching, but the other day, I received an anonymous message in German. I had to translate it to English in order to understand it. It said: "Many thanks for the detailed description. Some good suggestions. I will share your contribution in Facebook and Google." At first, I got a little nervous that my blog could be read all over the world, but then I thought, this is God's project, not mine. You will spread it to those hearts that are ready to receive Your message. I am truly amazed by You, and what You have been able to do with such an ordinary little pencil.

Thank You for showing me what You needed from me, and Thank You for empowering me to answer your call. You seem to have multiplied my time in so many ways. I still have the same time constraints that I had ten years ago, but somehow, someway, You make the impossible possible, and my time has multiplied in ways that I can't even begin to comprehend. It's only because of You that I am able to juggle so many balls in the air.

I love being a pencil in your hands, Jesus. You are constantly surprising me. And You never cease to amaze me.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven and to my Daughter on her Birthday

"I’m happy to celebrate with you this special day when God gave you life. God watches over you and protects you; God is always by your side. His goodness and mercy will be with you all your life, and You will live forever with him. Happy Birthday."

September 24, 2007

My dear girl:

Happy 18th Birthday!!!

A month ago, you gave me a piece of paper that broke my heart. You wrote: "A lot of times, I feel like I'm a constant disappointment. I feel like I'm not the daughter that she wants me to be. I'm not Miss Social Butterfly with dozens of friends everywhere..." I felt really bad because I felt like maybe I was trying to push you into being someone that you could not be.

Sometimes, you look like a little lost sheep that has lost her way. You struggle so much for approval, for support, and for acceptance. I suffer when I see you being excluded from parties and activities because I sense that you suffer too. But as you have matured, I feel like you have come to accept that not everyone is going to invite you to everything.

You do much better in small groups. You don't need to have dozens of friends. As long as you have one good friend that stands by your side, that cares for you, then you are luckier than most. And you have a few of those friends. You have "true" friends that like you and accept you for who you are.

Many times, you prefer to stay at home rather than go out. That's perfectly fine. Each person enjoys life in a different way. You cannot enjoy life by doing what everyone else is doing. The things you enjoy doing may be totally different from the things other girls enjoy doing because you are all completely different individuals.

A few days ago, you went on your Senior Encounter, and you asked me to pray. I was starting my Spiritual Exercises so I offered my three days of silence for the success of the encounter, for you and the team, and for the retreatants. The Good Shepherd loves you and He knows your name. When you are lost, He finds you and He brings you back home. God is using you as His instrument to get His message across. I know that by bearing your soul, and sharing your testimony, you have touched the hearts of your classmates.

I love you, Chabi, and I am very proud of the young woman that you are becoming. Today, on your 18th birthday, I want you to know that you are not a disappointment. In my eyes, you are perfect. You are my perfect daughter.

I love you with all my heart!!! Happy 18th Birthday!!!

September 24, 2011

Dear Mama Mary:

Today is your feast day. Today, we celebrate, Our Lady of Mercy.

Twenty-two years ago, at 7 am, I had a baby girl. I named her Isabel Cristina, but we have always called her Chabeli. Thank You for the gift of my beautiful daughter who was born on such special day. It's impossible to express in words how much joy she has brought into our lives.
 

"Blessed Mother, I commend my daughter Chabeli to You.

I cannot be at her side at all times yet I trust you are.

Please guide her in all her decisions.

Listen to all her difficulties and protect her from all evil.

You are the most perfect Mother and example to all women,

Help me to be gentle and loving with my daughter.

Grant us both health, wisdom, peace and hope;

I pray to You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen!" 

  

Our Lady of Lourdes Academy

Mother-Daughter Mass

October 8th, 2006

 
Thank You, Mama Mary, for always guiding my little girl in the right direction. Please protect her from any harm, keep her safe always, and allow her to always be happy.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

September 24, 2017

My dear Chabeli:

Happy 28th Birthday!!!

I love you, Chabi, and I am so proud of the young woman that you have become. You will always be my little girl, my only daughter. I was so happy when I found out that I was pregnant for the second time. I didn't think about the fact that between you and your brother there would be just twelve months apart, and that it was going to be hard. I was thrilled because I wanted four children and I was half way there.

Chabeli, you have always been my rock in the midst of the storm. You didn't get sick too often as a baby, just the occasional cold or ear infection. You were content sucking your thumb. You were lazy, lazy, lazy. You did not like to walk. It took you fifteen months to walk on your own, and even when you could walk, you still wanted to be carried or to sit in a stroller.

You have turned out to be a magnificent young lady. You have blossomed into the most beautiful butterfly. You are unique and very special. You have accomplished so much in your young life. Aside from all the accolades of graduating from college Summa Cum Laude, getting both your CPA and your MBA by the time you were just 24 years old, and landing an amazing job at Deloitte, you have a sense of maturity and responsibility that goes far beyond your years.

I want you to know that you have come a long way from the lost sheep of your teenage years. You are so confident and so sure of yourself. You are an amazing young woman, both inside and out. You are a great daughter, granddaughter, sister and friend. You are responsible and independent. I could not be prouder of YOU. In my eyes, you are my perfect daughter.

Happy 28th Birthday, Chabi!!! I love you with all my heart!!!

Letters to Heaven: You Live Within my Heart

"Mary came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark." John 20:1

September 23, 2007

Dear Jesus:

I have been searching for You, but I have been looking in all the wrong places. I have been searching for You in the sun, in the moon and the stars. I have been searching for You in the wind and in the rain. I have been searching for You in the flowers and the trees. And You have been hiding from me.

Just like Mary, I have been looking for You early in the morning, before the sun comes out. I expected to see You in a spectacular sunrise, but You, in your wisdom, did not grant me my wish. You wanted me to look within. You wanted me to know that I didn't need a sunrise to find You. You wanted me to know that You are with me in the light and in the dark, in the morning and at night, by the ocean and by the mountain, because You are within my heart.

All this time, You have been within my heart. I have been running around, looking for You everywhere without realizing that all I needed to do was to look within my heart. Like Mary, I did not understand that when You are missing, You are alive. You are alive within my heart. I carry You in my heart.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"And he saw and believed." John 1:8

September 23, 2017

Dear Jesus:

John had to see to believe. I also need to see. I need to see You. It's not enough to feel You. That is why I search for You in the beauty of the sunrise, the moon and the stars. That is why I search for You in the rainbows and the clouds. That is why I try to see You in a butterfly and in the flowers. I look for You in the people that surround me. And I do see You, Jesus.

I see You in the smile of a child. I see You in the beauty of a pregnant woman. I see You in my community of faith, when they are full of the Holy Spirit and they radiate your light from within. I see You in my husband when his face shines with love for me. I see You in my children when they hug me and they kiss me. And when I see You, then I believe. And when I believe, then I can feel You within my heart.

Thank You for living within my heart, Jesus.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: I Will Follow You

"Do not be afraid, from now on you will be catching men... They left everything and followed him." Luke 5: 10, 11

September 22, 2007

Dear Jesus:

Leave everything and follow You. What a difficult thing. I always struggle with this. How can I possibly leave everything and follow You?

In the bible, that's what it seems that the apostles did. They left their wives, their family, their possessions, and they followed You. But realistically, that's impossible. I'm not going to leave my husband, my children, my home, and follow You. My family places certain restrictions on me as far as time, and even as to where and how I should serve You. I have to be very picky because as You well know, my first commitment is to serve my family as a wife and mother. That's my vocation.

If in addition to that, You have other plans for me, Jesus, You need to let me know what they are before I make a commitment. I will follow You, Jesus. I will follow You. I will let go of the ropes that bind me. I will untie them and follow You to the end of the earth if You need me to.

Today, as opposed to yesterday, You have given me the most beautiful sunrise. And just like You opened up the clouds in the horizon, You have opened up the clouds in my heart. Yesterday, I was feeling such desolation. I was feeling such profound sadness within my heart. But not today, Jesus, not today.

My heart is open, Jesus. My heart is open to receive your message. Help me to be able to discern what your message is. Send me your Holy Spirit to give me the wisdom to be able to hear your message and not be confused with outside forces that may be sending me the wrong message.

Just like Peter was afraid because he felt so unworthy, I also feel very unworthy, Jesus. But here I am, with all my flows and all my misgivings, ready to lay it all down at your feet. I am at your mercy, Lord. I am at your service, ready to follow You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 22, 2017

Dear Jesus:

This week, I heard a talk from one of your servants. She said that as Christians, we cannot be lukewarm. I suffer from lukewarmness. It's hard to lay it all down at your feet. It's hard to release everything that binds us, and give it all to You. I cannot allow the world to suffocate me, but at the same time, I live in the world. It's very difficult to disconnect completely from the world.

But I still want to follow You. I want to release my agenda to You, and let You guide my steps. Help me to be a pillar of faith for my family and for my community. If I can be a strong pillar, when the storms of the world threaten my stability, I will be able to resist.

I am at your mercy, Lord. I am at your service. I will follow You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Lord, I Need You

"A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." John 10:11

September 21, 2007

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, Lord, at the beginning of the "Spiritual Exercises." I have come to be with You. I need You. I need to feel You. I need You to come and tap me on the shoulder. I have sat here, on this hard bench, waiting to feel You, waiting to hear You... I feel abandoned. You didn't even grant me the beauty of the sunrise. I came downstairs before 6 am, and all You gave me were clouds. Even when the sun was about to rise above the clouds, You sent more clouds, and You planted them right in front of the sun.

Why Lord? Why are You doing this to me? What have I done? I know that You are the Good Shepherd. Well, I am one of your sheep and I feel so lost. I feel so helpless. And I need You. I need You to come looking for me. I need You to find me. I know that You lay down your life for me, but that was 2,000 years ago. Will You do it again, Lord? Will You lay down your life for me again? I am not worthy, Lord. I am not worthy of your sacrifice. But I need You. I need You so bad. I feel like I am drowning. I feel so overwhelmed.

It's 7:15 am and the sun is still hiding behind the clouds. You won't even let me catch a glimpse. Please, find me this weekend. Save me from this immense pain that I feel in my heart. I need You, Lord.

As I walked away, the sun came out, but I never looked back.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 21, 2017

Dear Jesus:

When I arrived to those Spiritual Exercises ten years ago, I arrived with a lot of baggage. I had just dropped off Rafi in college for the first time with a lot of hope and expectations. Just one week after I left him there, he drank too much, he passed out, he was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and he spent the night in the ER with an IV all by himself. The worst part is that we were never notified, by the university or the hospital. We didn't find out until he decided to tell us three days later.

I had a hard time opening my ears to hear your message because I couldn't get past worrying about Rafi. I could not take the worry out of my heart. I was engulfed in a profound sadness. It was a mixture of disappointment at what he did, and concern about the results of his poor decision. I could not stop thinking about it. I knew that I needed to let it go. I knew that You were in control. I knew that I needed to trust You. But I was doubting You so much. I just couldn't comprehend why, after entrusting my son over to You, You had let me down.

At one point, I opened my Bible and I read: "Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?" Matthew 6:27. At that moment, You touched my heart. You told me that worrying was not leading me anywhere. You told me that my worrying about Rafi was not going to help him in any way. You told me to unite my suffering with your suffering on the cross. You answered my question by letting me know that You would do it all over again. You would lay down your life for me once again. You would also lay down your life for Rafi, every day if You had to.

After hearing your voice in the silence of my heart, I was still afraid, but I knew that I could not allow fear to take control of my life. You asked me to hand Rafi over to You once again. It was then that I realized that Rafi was also one of your lost sheep. I released him to You, and I knew that You would find him. I knew that everything would be fine because You were in control.

Once I did that, I was able to open my whole heart to You. And wow, how You touched me that weekend. I felt You all around me. You used my desolation to get to me. I had reached rock bottom, but when I placed my desolation at the foot of your cross, everything began to change. You grabbed my attention, and reminded me that You are the source of all goodness. You purged me and purified me that weekend. You became my core.

I love You, Jesus!!! 

Letters to Heaven: Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

"Do ordinary things with extraordinary love." St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

September 20, 2008

Good morning, Jesus:

Thank You for this beautiful and glorious day. Thank You for the sunrise. Thank You for my ordinary life. I lead a very ordinary life. I live in an ordinary house, in an ordinary neighborhood, in an ordinary city. There is nothing great or spectacular about my life. Yet, to me, my ordinary life is extraordinary.

In this ordinary city of Miami, where thousands of people live, where I can get lost in the crowd, You have always managed to lead me towards extraordinary people. Women and men that love You, that follow You, that lead a simple life in an extraordinary way simply because they have chosen to follow You. Thank You for all these men and women that You have placed in my life. Thank You for the friends, the sisters, that are here with me this weekend. We are in silence but I can feel the love pouring out of them.

Thank You for my ordinary family. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to meet all four of my grandparents, which in itself is something extraordinary. Thank You for my mom and my two dads. Thank You because all three are still alive, and they are an extraordinary part of my life. Thank You for my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and the huge extended family that You gave me through my hubby (aunts, uncles, and more cousins than I can count). Thank You because my ordinary family is truly extraordinary.

One day, You placed a very simple, ordinary man in my path. Yet, to me, he was extraordinary because I felt in love with him. Thank You for placing my wonderful hubby and companion in my path 28 years ago. He is my love and my everything. Thank You for every moment that we have shared, for every experience that we have gone through together, for all the joys, all the tears, all the hugs, all the kisses, and thank You too for the fights because we learned from them, and it brought us closer together.

In three different occasions, You gave us three very small gifts, but they were the most extraordinary gifts: our three children. For other people, they are three ordinary children, but to us, they are extraordinary. Each one of them has brought a special ingredient into our mix. They are good kids and I thank You for every minute that I have been able to spend with them, watching them grow, and sharing all the special moments of their lives. Thank You, Jesus, for giving these extraordinary gifts to us.

We worked hard, saved some money, and bought first a little house. Then, we changed the little house for a medium house as our family got bigger. It may be a simple, ordinary house to most, but to us, our house is extraordinary. Mostly, because it's not simply a house, it's our home, it's our church, it's the place where we pray and worship You, together, as a family. Thank You, Jesus, for always allowing us to have a roof over our heads. Thank You for our extraordinary home.

Thank You also for our ordinary jobs that allow us to provide a good education for our kids, to always have food on the table, and to live our ordinary lives in a very comfortable way. Thank You for all the extraordinary treasures that You have given me. Help me not to be selfish and to share what You so generously have shared with me. Help me to share my possessions and my talents. Help me not to be afraid to give both my treasure and my time.

All these little, extraordinary things, scream the love that You have for me.

I place myself in your hands, Jesus. I am just this ordinary and simple servant, but I am here to do your will. I don't expect anything extraordinary, I just trust You completely. Here I am, at your service.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 20, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for helping me find joy in the routines of my life. Thank You for helping me focus on the beauty that surrounds me. Thank You for allowing me to see You everywhere. Thank You for helping me find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Growing Up too Fast

"You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once." Polish Proverb

September 19, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Last night, Alex attended his first dance at Lourdes. Wow! When did he get so big? He was in kindergarten not so long ago, and now, he's in high school. How did this happen?

My baby grew up too fast. I can't say that I didn't notice it because I have enjoyed every stage of his growth. I was very fortunate that just a few days after he was born, the bank that I worked for got sold. I became unemployed, I started my own business, and I had all the freedom in the world to spend time with Alex. I was present for every milestone: his first step, his first word, the first time that he jumped out of the playpen... We were so attached to each other, that he was the first one to go to school because Rafe was afraid that I would turn him into a "mama's boy." He had a bad case of "mamitis."

He was two-years-old when he started in Granada Day School. It was just two days a week but it was so hard to leave him there. He cried and I cried. Now, just twelve years later, he's attending high school dances, chasing girls, getting pimples, and I have all the memories stored away in a special compartment of my brain.

Thank You, Jesus, for the gift of Alex.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 27, 2009

Dear Jesus:

A few days ago, we went to the Belen Awards Ceremony. Alex won his first award at Belen: "President's Education Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence." On our way there, we were bugging him that he was probably going to get a medal in PE. Instead, he got this award that is very hard to get. He has to have a 3.5 GPA, and at least an 85% in the standardized tests. He had both so we are very proud of him.

It's been hard for him to walk in his brother's shadow, always trying to fit into his shoes. But he's making his own place, and a name for himself at Belen. He's not a straight A student but that's fine. He gets all As and Bs with an occasional C. I'm very proud of him because he's trying very hard, and this year, he has very difficult classes. He's taking AP World History, Geometry, Biology... it's a very advanced curriculum for 9th grade, but he's handling it very well.

Jesus, please help Rafe and me to always show him how proud of him we are, and of all his accomplishments.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 19, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Sometimes, I hear the new generation of moms and dads say things like: "Oh, I can't wait until he walks." "I'm looking forward until she's in school." I want to scream at them, "Slow down. Don't rush it. Enjoy today. Your babies will be all grown up in the blink of an eye." I realized this with Rafi and Chabeli. I was working full time at the time so my time with them basically consisted of meeting their basic necessities: feeding them, bathing them, putting them to sleep, taking them to the doctor, etc. By the time I realized it, they were in school, and I was always running from school to after-school activities.

When Alex was born, I decided to slow down and take it easy. Of course, it was handed to me in a silver platter because I lost my job. I could have taken the easy route of finding another full time job, but I decided to take a year off, enjoy Alex's first year of life, and in the process, get my feet wet in the small business world. I loved it. I loved being a mom, and I loved being my own boss. I became an active part of my kids' life. And they still grew up too fast. But I have all the memories stored away in my heart, and in lots of photo albums. I was an active part of their lives. I went on every field trip. I was present on every school activity. I had time to sit on the floor with them and play. And the best part was that I didn't have to ask permission to a boss or sneak out through the back door. Yes, I actually did that a few times while I was working at the bank. I was my own boss, and I set my own hours. My kids became my most important clients, and I was able to enjoy every minute of their young lives.

Now that they are all grown up, I'm very proud of the young men and woman they have become. They are all completely different from each other. It's hard to imagine they were all raised up together. But we have to treat each child individually. Many times we have the tendency to compare. I know that I've made that mistake once too many times. But I would not change a single thing from any one of my kids. Their differences and distinct personalities is what makes them who they are. And I'm very happy that they are true to themselves, and have not tried to become someone else.

If I can give some advice to all young parents, I would tell them, Jesus, to put away their electronic devices until after their kids go to sleep. I would say: Be present, fully present. Sit down on the floor with them. Listen to them. Don't rush any stages. Enjoy the one that you are in. If you have more than one child, don't compare them. Treat each one individually. Don't push them to become a different person. Not every child can be smart. Not every child can be good in sports. Find their passion, and allow them to pursue it freely. Sit back, and enjoy the adventure.

I know that many moms need to work full time, they don't have a choice. But I would tell them to take a day off once in a while to go on a field trip with their kids. And when they get home exhausted from a full day of work, I would say: Don't take it out on your kids. Spend time with them. Help them with their homework. Play with them. You can rest once they go to sleep. Children grow up much too fast. Before you know it, you will have an empty house, and too much time on your hands. Don't rush, for one day you will wish you had more time.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Teach me How to Pray

“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

September 18, 2008

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, once more doing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. I came last year, and since then, I have come a long way. But I still have so much more to go.

Jesus, teach me how to pray. Teach me to open my heart to be able to listen to You. Teach me how to discern your message to me. Teach me how to understand what it is that You want from me.

On one side, You tell me to ask, to seek, to knock, and You will answer me. Yet, on the other side, You tell me to trust You. Maybe what I want, what I'm asking, is not what You want for me. Maybe I want to talk about one thing, but You want to talk about something different. I may have an agenda, but Yours is completely different.

Please, Jesus, help me to be open to your message, whatever that may be. Teach me to open my heart so I learn to listen to You.

I love You, Jesus!!! Good night!


September 19, 2008

Good morning, Jesus:

Here I am, Lord, sitting by the bay. It's 7 am and morning has broken, but the clouds are keeping the sun in hiding. It's the same with my life. The clouds are keeping You in hiding.

I can hear You asking me: "What clouds?" The clouds of worry. The clouds of stress. The clouds of lack of time. The clouds of too many goals. The clouds of perfection. As easy-going as summer was, September comes filled with worries. My stomach has been full of knots. I can't put my finger on what's wrong. All three kids are back in school. Rafe and I are working longer hours than usual. Everything seems fine on the outside, yet by the same token, I feel like a storm is coming.

Jesus, please, clear the clouds from my life. Teach me how to pray. Help me to find more time for You. Help me to realize what is truly important. Help me to figure out what it is that You want from me. Help me to push aside those goals that are not coming from You. Help me to get rid of those things that are keeping me from doing your will.

Lord, help me not to worry so much. Help me to trust You. Help me to trust your plan for my life. Help me also to entrust those that I love into your hands, so that your plan for them can develop without my interference.

Jesus, teach me how to pray.

Here I am, Lord. I have come to do your will.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 18, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for teaching me how to pray. I know that I still have a lot to learn, but my prayer life has grown tremendously. My favorite way to pray to You is through the letters that I write You on a regular basis. I still have to master the silence part so I can listen to your voice within my heart. I have a "wondering" mind, so when I try to be silent, my mind goes wondering and it's hard for me to discern whether those intruding thoughts are coming from You or from my imagination. But I'm working on it.

I arrived on that second retreat nine years ago without any expectations. I was a blank book. I allowed You to write in me, whatever You desired of me. I placed myself at your hands to do with me as You wished. I was ready for the unexpected. And oh boy, did You surprise me.

I knocked at your door, very hard, and You opened the door of my heart. I arrived as a blank book and You wrote in the white pages of my heart.

Thank You, Jesus. It's when I have no expectations that You always surprise me.

I love You, Jesus!!! 

Letters to Heaven: Bringing Love into Our Homes

"It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start." 

St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

September 4, 2016

Dear Jesus:

Today we have a new saint in the Catholic Church. Well, at least officially because a saint she has always been. What an honor to have been born while she was still alive. What an honor to have lived over 30 years while she was here on earth, even though I really didn't get to know her until after she died. She said: "I will be able to do more after I die." It's true. In the past 20 years she has spread so many graces through her books, her movies, her quotes, and the legacy she left behind through the Sisters of Charity. I watched the mass on TV. I was in Rome just two weeks ago, but unfortunately, I couldn't stay for the canonization. Today, I offer the pain of my broken wrist for all that are suffering. St. Teresa of Calcutta, pray for us.

Jesus, I have not written to You in three months. I have a lot to share, even though You know it all. The week of Memorial Day, You gave me the gift of spending one week with all my kids and Rafe. We went to New Orleans and Seaside to attend Philip and Alex's wedding.

After the wedding, Rafi and Emily flew directly to New York, but they returned ten days later to Miami to attend my dad's funeral. My dad passed away on June 14th. He was ready to go to his heavenly home. Thank You for giving us three additional years with him. Since his health began to deteriorate in 2013, You began to prepare us for his eternal rest. Thank You also for giving Rafi the opportunity to see him alive one last time. Since he saw how bad his grandpa was doing, it made saying "good-bye" a little easier.

In August, Rafe and I went to Italy. It was an amazing trip. We planned the shell of the trip in less than three weeks. I say the shell because we made a lot of changes on the go. But I felt that You were the one leading us so all the changes were for the better. Thank You for leading us to Italy. It was a blessed and unexpected vacation.

While we were in Italy, Rafi and Emily got engaged. We knew it was going to happen but it was still very exciting. Rafi went out of his way to plan an amazing surprise for Emily. He planned a scavenger hunt at the New York Met Museum, their favorite place to go on the weekends. At the end of the scavenger hunt, Rafi knelt in front of her and proposed. He was very nervous through the whole planning process, but everything turned out perfect. They are in Europe right now and they are so happy. Please, Jesus, keep them safe.

Chabeli is moving with Daniel at the end of the month. They already found an apartment, and they are in the process of buying furniture. They are very happy. Please, Jesus, bless them and if they are meant to be together for the long haul, allow them to get along and live in harmony.

Alex's return to UConn went seamlessly. I flew up with him to help him get settled, and we got to spend a weekend together. He spent the summer working at Zuma and Sons. He enjoyed it, he stayed busy, he got to practice his Spanish, and he made great friends in the adult world. I'm so grateful to Lupe and Carlos for giving him this opportunity. It was exactly what he needed after the tough year he's had. One week before we left to Italy, he crashed his car on the turnpike. Thank You, Jesus, for protecting him, as well as the other two drivers. It was his fault. He hit someone from behind who in turn hit someone else. His car was a total loss. We are now in the process of finding him a safe car that he can buy in Connecticut. Please, help us find the right used car for him that will last him until he completes his college education.

And last but not least, I felt two days ago, and I fractured my wrist. It looks like I will need surgery, even though I still have not seen an orthopedic surgeon who will have the final word. I'm upset because I have been so careful for the past three years not to fall again, and it was such a stupid fall. I was taking Penny out for her walk, and You know how desperate she gets. We were at the beach apartment where we had planned to spend Labor Day weekend. They were doing remodeling in the hallways. Penny was pulling me, and I tripped on a temporary threshold between the carpet and the marble floors. I felt on top of my hand on the marble floor. I knew right away that I had fractured it. I also hit my head and scraped my knee. I got dizzy and nauseous but I managed to call Rafe who had gone to Publix. He came back, and took me all the way to Baptist where they confirmed what I already knew. It's a bad break. My bone is in pieces. But You are the healer. If You want to heal me so I won't need surgery, You can do so. However, if You choose not to, that is fine too. There are many who need your healing gift more than me. So I offer the pain, suffering, and inconvenience for all those that are dealing with a terminal illness or something worst than me. And I accept your will with love, dignity, and a smile on my face.

St. Mother Teresa, pray for us. Jesus, have mercy on us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 16, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Last year was a pretty tough year, sprinkled with many blessings. I lost my dad, which still brings pain to my heart because I miss him tremendously. I ended up having surgery for my wrist plus three months of therapy. I am thankful, though, that my wrist healed completely. Even though I have a permanent foreign object that looks like a razor inside my wrist, I have full mobility. Thank You, Jesus, for holding my hand through the worst of it, and for minimizing the amount of pain that I had to endure.

But in the midst of tremendous pain, we also received many blessings. Our two vacations, first with the kids to NOLA and Seaside, and then by ourselves to Italy, were two amazing gifts. Rafi and Emily's engagement was another tremendous blessing. Chabeli and Daniel continue to be blissfully happy. And Alex survived a serious car crash without injuries, and completed a great semester at UConn.

This year has been a really good year, and for that, I am on my knees thanking You. The worst thing that has happened this year is dumb Irma who came to ruin our trip to Europe. I was supposed to be in Budapest today. Instead, I'm here in Miami. But in spite of that, I am thankful because I have electricity, while many still don't. I am thankful because my house survived the hurricane without damage, while there are many that are still in shelters, and have not been able to return to their homes. I am thankful most of all because my family was safe during the storm. If it is your will, I will be in Budapest two weeks from today. I have to trust that for reasons I will never know, You did not want us to go on our trip this week. I'm not happy that I had to rearrange everything, but I trust that You are in charge, and therefore, You know the reason why this had to happen.

In life, we always need to look at the positive side of everything. Even though nobody likes hurricanes, they tend to bring out the best in people. Irma gave us the opportunity to spend time together as a family. In our case, we left on a very unexpected family hurrication. Others didn't go away, but they were able to spend time together playing board games or just talking to each other. Irma gave us the opportunity to disconnect from our electronic devices, and forced us to spend time together. It's sad that it takes a hurricane to remind us what truly matters.

As St. Mother Teresa said, we need to "bring love into our homes for this is where our love for each other must start." I hope it won't take another hurricane to get us to spend time together talking, laughing, playing, and loving each other.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: A Ray of Hope

"I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace." 

Sarah Young in Jesus Calling

September 14, 2009

Dear Mama Mary:

I just finished praying the rosary. I offered it for all those that are suffering from the same illness that has afflicted Rafi during the past five months, and for their families. Please Mama Mary, give us hope.

Hope is the last thing we lose. As long as there is light, there is hope. There is this small ray of light that I see far away, amongst all this darkness. It's this light that has been keeping my hope alive.

This past month has been the smoothest in our journey. Rafi has been doing really well. He has not had any major symptoms. There have been some small peaks, but I must rejoice with the fact that he has been pretty stable for almost an entire month. I am very hopeful.

I have hope that we will beat this. I have hope that our life will return to normal. I have hope that one day there will be a cure for this illness, and all the darkness will cease to exist.

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope! To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears! Turn, then, O most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us, and after this, our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary. Pray for us, O holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

O Holy Mother of God, please shower us with your mercy. As we walk through this valley of tears, please hold our hands. I know that at the end of this journey, You will be waiting for us to embrace us, and to lead us to Your Son. Please pray for us that we may not fall into temptation, and deviate from the path that leads us to Him.

I love You, Mama Mary!!! Please pray for Rafi and for all those that suffer from this terrible illness. 

September 14, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

I have prayed many rosaries the past few days. This time, my rosaries have been offered for all those that have been affected by Hurricane Irma. I was blessed in many ways. We had the opportunity to leave on an unexpected family vacation to Crystal River, Savannah and Columbia. This meant that I had to postpone other travel plans, but I have learned to trust your Son. If He doesn't want me to travel overseas at this time, He must have His reasons, and I won't question the why. I'm an expert in canceling trips, since I've had to cancel or postpone many travel plans in the past thirty years. I'll be honest with You, Mama Mary, I detest doing it. It's getting to the point that I dread planning a trip because I always feel that in the end, we won't be able to go. Oh well, it is what it is. No use complaining about it. I'm just thankful that we are safe.

I continue to pray to You and Your Son for all those that have lost a loved one in the storm. Also for those that have lost their homes, and don't have anywhere to go. Please, Mama Mary, give them your hope and your love at this time of need.

Mama Mary, I want to thank You also for the rays of hope that You kept sending us when Rafi got sick. I want to thank You because You showered us with your mercy. You held our hands, and You embraced us, every step of the way. I want to thank You because our lives returned to normal, a new normal, but normal nonetheless. I want to thank You for the medication that allows Rafi to lead a normal life.

Please, Mama Mary, extend this same hope to all those that are dealing with this horrible illness, and that have not found the right treatment to be able to lead a normal life.

I love You, Mama Mary!!! 

Letters to Heaven: Today is a Gift

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." —Psalm 118:24

September 11, 2007

Dear Jesus:

Every year on this date I will forever remember the terrible events that took place six years ago. I will always recall where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news. I rushed home, turned on the TV, and watched in horror as the story unfolded.

That day made me realize how vulnerable we are, and how life was altered in a second for so many families who lost a loved one. I remember asking You, "Why?" You did not answer me but since that day, I have learned not to take anything for granted. I cherish every second of life that You have given me because life is a gift to be valued. I enjoy every minute that I get to spend with my husband and my children because having them in my life is a gift to be savored.

My oldest son will be spending most of the next four years away from me. I had him by my side for 19 years but now he's ready to start the next chapter in his life. I hold dear in my heart every hour that I have spent with him, just as I will treasure every minute that I get to spend with him in the future because I know that from now on they will be scarce and far between.

You have given me the gift of three children. I will care for the two that remain at home, spending every available minute that I have with them, and enjoying all their activities.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I have today. Today is a day to be enjoyed. Today is a day like no other. Today is different than yesterday and not the same as tomorrow. Today, I will be the best person that I can be. Today, I will be available for my family in whatever they may need. Today, I will be the best wife to my husband, the best mother to my children, and the best daughter to my parents. Today, my eyes will be open to see, my ears will be ready to listen, my hands will be ready to touch, my lips will be ready to kiss, and my tongue will know when to talk and when to be quiet.

Today is a gift that You, Jesus, have given me. I will not allow it to go to waste. Thank You, Jesus, for today.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 11, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today is a gift. I am writing to you from Columbia, South Carolina. If You had told me a week ago that I would be here this week, I would have answered You, "Are You kidding me? Why would I be in Columbia?" But here I am. Instead of storm chasers, the storm chased us away. We first went to the west, then back to the east, and ended up all the way up here. Even though a part of me wonders why we left, I have no regrets. We got to spend an unexpected family vacation. We got to see friends that we had not seen in a very long time. And we are safe from the storm. Now we just have to figure out when is the best time to return and which is the safest route to take. But I know that You will guide us.

I want to pray today for all those innocent souls that lost their lives sixteen years ago in the worst terrorist attack the world has ever seen. I also want to pray for all those families that have lost a loved one during this horrific hurricane that is still causing havoc throughout Florida.

Today is a gift, Jesus, and even though I wish I was back in Miami getting ready for another trip, I am thankful that I am alive, that part of my family is here with me, and that all my friends and family back in Miami, survived the storm with minimal damage.

Thank You, Jesus, for today.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for the Gift of Motherhood

"Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" —2 Corinthians 9:15

September 10, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today is Rafi's birthday. He's 21!!! I was in labor 21 years ago at this time. It was the happiest day of my life, the day I became a mommy. When they handed him to me, all nine and a quarter pounds, at 9:47 pm on that Saturday night, I was dancing with joy.

It had been a difficult journey... Follicle studies, fertility drugs, biopsies, a laparoscopy. I went through the fire while trying to become pregnant. Yet at that moment, I knew it had all been worth it.

I lived in constant fear on those first years of his life. I was so scared to lose him. I would run to the doctor at the slightest sniffle. Just three months short of his third birthday, he became very ill with encephalitis. Heaven and earth collided and I knew for sure that my worst nightmare was becoming a reality.

He spent two weeks in the hospital, but thanks to You, he survived. Not only did he survive, there was absolutely no signs in his brain of what he had just endured. Even the radiologist was surprised that the craters he had seen in his brain on the first MRI had completely disappeared within a week. He couldn't even see scars in the second MRI. He even told us that if it had not been him the one that read both results, he would have thought there had been a mistake. I knew in my heart that we had just witnessed a miracle. All the prayers and supplications from all our family, friends, and complete strangers had been answered.

The years that followed were more peaceful, but I always remained on high alert. When he was six years old, he got sick again. I was terrified because the symptoms were similar to the encephalitis. They repeated the MRI and there were no abnormalities whatsoever in his brain. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Now again we have been living through another nightmare. However, I have faith that this too shall pass. Jesus, You have been by Rafi's side during his entire life. You have kept him within your sight all these years. Since the minute he was conceived, You have been looking out for him. The past four and a half months have not been easy but we have survived them because of You.

Today, on Rafi's 21st birthday, I entrust him to You fully and completely. I know that You have a plan for him. I know that he is a very special boy. I knew that since I carried him in my womb. I don't know what your plan for him is because You have not shared it with me, but I know that You will show him little by little and You will lead him in the right direction.

In the meantime, all I pray for is healing. Keep his mind and body healthy. Allow him to become stable so he may continue leading a normal life, so that he can celebrate many more birthdays. At the right moment in time, You will show him the path that he needs to follow.

I am not afraid because You are in charge and You are leading the way. "Be not afraid. I go before You always. Come, follow me, and I will give you rest." I am following You, Jesus, every step of the way. I would not be able to continue the climb without You. I would have given up a long time ago. You give me the courage to go on. Even though I don't know what the future holds, it doesn't matter because the one sure thing I know is that You are part of that future. "Give me only your love and your grace, that's enough for me."

Thank You for the gift of motherhood. All the labor pains and all the pain in my heart is just a tiny particle compared to all the joy I feel because I am a mom.

I love You, Jesus!!!


September 10, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for 23 years of motherhood! Today is Rafi's birthday and thus, it's a day for Rafe and me to celebrate as well. We have so much to be thankful for. We'll be going to Ana Capri tonight to celebrate, just the two of us.

Rafi returned to Princeton. Every time he goes back, he leaves a big emptiness in the house and in my heart. I should be used to it by now. This is his fifth year but I will never get used to it. I guess once he's settled and with his own family it may get a bit easier. We will see.

It was nice spending the last four weeks with him, the first one in Washington and the last three here at home. He had his yearly check up and it went very well. Even the doctor was very happy at how well he's been doing.

I don't think I have shared with You, Jesus, that Rafi got a very nice offer from Microsoft. Yet, he doesn't want to work in Seattle. He would prefer to work in California. Microsoft does have offices in California. He has been trying to reach out to the teams that are headquartered in California to see if there is any possibility of employment there. Thus far, nothing has come up.

He is more interested in Google or Facebook. He interviewed with both of them over the phone and he passed the first round. Google will probably fly him to California at the end of the month. Today he received an email from Facebook that they want to schedule a second interview. Jesus, I leave it in your hands. You know which company will be the best fit for Rafi. Just like You led him to Princeton, I know that You will lead him to the right company. Please, Jesus, help Rafi to make the right choice. Open doors where You know that he will shine. Close the doors to those companies that will not be in his best interest. Microsoft gave him until November 15th to give them an answer, so the next two months are critical.

I know that Emily will have a big influence in his decision. She has received offers from all three companies. If they are meant to continue walking together, then lead them in the same direction. Otherwise, separate their paths and help them to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow.

I love You, Jesus!!!

September 10, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for the gift of Rafi. Thank You for choosing me to be his mother. Twenty-nine years ago, You entrusted him to me, and it has been the biggest adventure of my life.

I am so proud of the young man that He has become. He has overcome huge obstacles due to various health issues. He has always been very bright and very inquisitive. He graduated class valedictorian from Belen and magna cum laude from Princeton. He has been working for Facebook for the past five years. In one year, he will marry his Emily, whom he loves with all his heart. He has accomplished much in spite of very serious issues that he had to overcome. But what makes me most proud of him, is the fact that he never complains. He has never questioned, "why me?" He has adapted to the circumstances and he has made the best of his life. And now, he is passionate about his cause and helping others that are facing the same difficulties that he has faced.

As he celebrates the last year of his twenties, I once more entrust him to You, Jesus. You have always guided him in the right direction, from choosing the right university, and the best company to work for, to picking his perfect mate. Most likely, in his thirties, he will become a dad. I pray that he will enjoy the adventure of fatherhood, as much as I have enjoyed being his mom.

Thank You, Jesus, for the indescribable gift of Rafi.

I love You, Jesus!!!