Wednesday of the Fifth Week of Lent (April 1, 2009)
Sin can easily become a habit, a bad habit. If we allow it to take a hold of our life. Do you know anyone who lies? When a person has a tendency to lie, lying becomes a bad habit that is very difficult to shake off. It’s the same with gossip, stealing, even adultery. Once we commit the first sin, if we don’t grab on to Jesus and make a serious commitment to stop sinning, we can easily become “a slave of that sin.”
We are all very weak and that is why we continue to sin, despite our good intentions to sin no more. I cannot tell you the number of times that I have gone to confession and the same day, I’ve committed a sin, sometimes the same sin I confessed just a few hours before. Our strength is in God. He recognizes our weaknesses and that is why He forgives us over and over. The more we sin, the more we need to rely on God to give us the strength to be able to overcome that sin. During this Lent I have been trying to overcome one particular sin. I have many, but I figured it would be easier to concentrate on just one for now. I am having the hardest time with it. The enemy tempts me every step of the way. Of course, since I am fully aware of this sin, I notice every time I fall. It’s sort of become a joke between my husband and I because my sin is his greatest virtue. Almost daily I tell him, “oops, I did it again.” He just laughs because he knows I’ve been dealing with this issue for years. Saturday I went to confession and if it wasn’t because it is a venial sin, I would need to go again because I’ve fallen twice already since Saturday. The good thing is that it used to happen daily, now I’m down to every other day, so there’s hope.
Sometimes I feel that I am unworthy of God’s mercy. He is so good to me and I am so ungrateful. This journey has helped me tremendously because it has made me aware of my weaknesses and my imperfections. I know that I have a long way to go, but all I can do is walk one step at a time.
Lent is a time of cleansing, a time to look within our hearts and discover all those sins that are keeping us apart from God. We need to place them at the foot of the cross and talk to Jesus about our weaknesses, so that He can help us overcome them. The sacrifices that we have been doing during Lent, the fasting, the praying and the almsgiving are tools to help make us stronger in our resolution to sin no more.
Holy Mary, mother of God, intercede for us sinners so that your Son may have mercy on us, so that He may cleanse us from our stains, so that our hearts may be pure by Easter. We humbly implore you. Amen.
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