Letters to Heaven: Purified Silver

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the descendants of Levi and refine them like gold and silver." Malachi 3:3

August 3, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today, I'm in a really bad mood. I don't know why. It's not like I can pinpoint it to a specific event. I'm just upset. I wish I could control my emotions the same way that I can control the lights. If I'm sad, I can push a switch and be happy. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

Yes, it's all about the attitude. If I have a positive attitude, I can control my emotions and I can avoid being upset. I am not a robot, though. I'm only human. Once in a while, I have the right to be mad, plain and simply mad. It's hard to have it together all the time.

When the kids were little, I used to have to do a lot of running around. I was looking forward to sitting back and relaxing more once they got older. But instead, it's gotten worst. Today, I had to run a lot of errands, and at the end of the day, I had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. The day was hot and muggy. I guess, all of this contributed to my pissy mood.

Sorry for "la descarga," Jesus. There's no one else I can turn to. I'm the one that needs to have it all under control, remember?

I love You, Jesus!!!

August 3, 2017

Dear Jesus:

There is an e-mail that I have received many times that talks about silver. In order for silver to attain its purity, it needs to be placed in the fire. The more it burns, the more it shines. The silversmith has to be very patient. It takes a long time, a lot of heat to achieve complete purity. The silversmith knows it's ready when he can see his own reflection in the silver.

That summer of 2009, You kept us in the fire for a very long time. It took a long time to purify us. There were days when I was very angry at You, and other times when I was upset at no one in particular. I just didn't know how much longer we could withstand the flames. I screamed, I whined, and I complained. But You were very patient with me.

It was so painful to see Rafi suffering. I realize now that You were purifying him too. He is your precious silver. As You burned him with your fire, You provided the strength for him to withstand the pain and the heat. And eventually, he came out shining bright. Today, I can clearly see your reflection on him.

Thank You, Jesus, for helping me with the pain. You went through much more pain than us as You carried your cross and when You were crucified. You handled it with a lot of dignity and You taught me how to handle my pain with dignity, even though it took me a long time to learn. Thank You for not giving up on me.

I love You, Jesus!!!