Letters to Heaven: Pour my Love on You

"Let my love enfold You, oh Lord. Let me pour my love on You. Let me sit still in the light of your presence so I can love You with all my heart."

July 31, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today we were tourists in Miami. Three generations spending time together: my mom, Rafi, and me. We went to Bayside and we took a boat tour through the bay. We cruised through a few islands, and saw beautiful houses, like the ones owned by the Estefan's, Julio Iglesias and Shaquille O'Neal. We had lunch together and enjoyed our beautiful city. 

Alex finished summer camp today. He really enjoyed it. The only bad thing that happened was that his phone got stolen. Oh well, in the overall scheme of things, it's just a phone. But for a 14-year-old, it's important. He was pretty upset about it. I did not allow him to get a new phone because he needs to learn to be more careful. He's lost too many phones already. He needs to mature and be more responsible before I allow him to get a fancy phone. For the time being, I gave him an old phone. Physically, he's getting big. He's taller than me already. He's also Mr. Popular. He has a lot of friends, and is constantly going out. How did my little boy get so big so fast? Please, Jesus, keep him safe always.

Chabeli continues to work at UM. She's very happy with her life right now. She has a good group of friends, a nice boyfriend and she is enjoying this summer tremendously. She's happy so I'm happy.

Thank You, Jesus, for my three children. I cherish them with all my heart. Each one of them has made my life better. They have each brought a special ingredient. You poured your love on each of them when You created them.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 31, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I want to pour my love on You.

You have been so good to me all my life. You gave me parents that always loved me. They always cared for me. You also gave me the best grandparents. They took care of me when my parents had to work. They were by my side all the time.

You gave me a husband, partner, and best friend. He has been walking by my side for 36 years. I love him with all my heart and I thank You for him every day.

You gave me three treasures which I love more than life.

You gave me You. I would be nothing without You. I love You, Lord. Let my love enfold You, oh Lord. Let me pour my love on You. Let me sit still in the light of your presence so I can love You with all my heart.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: My Defining Moment

“No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. . . . Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” —Joshua 1:5, 9

July 21, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, spending a few minutes with You in the Blessed Sacrament. You know the depth of my heart. You know my fears and worries. Please calm my anxiety, calm my fears, calm my worries. Please let me feel your peace.

In mass today, the first reading was about the crossing of the Hebrews through the Red Sea. Father Michael talked about trusting You. If You made the waters of the Red Sea part to save the chosen people, how can I doubt that You will take care of the situation that is keeping me awake at night?

He also talked about baptism. He said that when we were baptized with the waters of baptism which have a connection with the waters of the Red Sea, we became your chosen people. And just like You saved the Hebrews, You will save us too. You will take care of us. We can trust You.

Father Michael also told us to recall a small miracle in our lives. He said to remember that moment when I knew that I would never be the same. The defining moment when You touched me and I knew there was no turning back. Please help me to remember that one moment because I can think of a few but not a specific one.

One moment that is clearly engraved in my mind is when I met You as a Friend and as a Brother in Encuentros Juveniles (Youth Encounters). It was there that I developed a more personal relationship with You. Through Encuentros, I met Rafael, and we began our sacramental marriage on June 29, 1984, with You at the center. The first big obstacle we encountered was when I couldn't get pregnant. It only took us 17 months, but those were the longest 17 months of my life. But through it all, You were working and preparing us for Rafi. I believe that was the first miracle, not losing Rafi when my body tried to reject him. And then, You showed off by allowing me to become pregnant just three months after Rafi was born with Chabeli. She's my second miracle. 

The next miracle happened when Rafi was diagnosed with encephalitis at the age of two. What a huge miracle You performed on my baby boy. That was definitely my defining moment. I knew then without a doubt that You were in control of my children. At that moment, I knew that I didn't have to fear anything because You loved my children so much that You would take care of them. Since then, You have been in charge of every situation and You have calmed my worries and fears.

On Christmas Eve 1994, You sent us another miracle, the gift of Alex, our Christmas baby. And You were with us when at just 17 days, he had to undergo surgery to repair his pyloric stenosis. And You are with us now as he goes through another trial in his young life. You are in charge. You are in control. I have nothing to fear because You are by our side. Your love, peace and strength will sustain us as we walk through the valley of fear. You lead the way. We are surrounded by your army of angels. 

Please, Jesus, take the wheel and remain in the boat with us as we cross yet another storm.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 30, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My defining moment when You touched me and I knew there was no turning back was definitely when You healed Rafi from the encephalitis. That was the miracle in our lives when I knew that I would never be the same. I knew at that moment that You were in charge, that You would take care of us if I placed my trust in You.

Thank You for always taking the wheel and remaining in the boat with us through every storm that we've ever had to face. Thank You for helping my children through every trial they've encounter in their young lives.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for Being in Control

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” —Isaiah 41:10

July 13, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Today Alex had a very important appointment in Connecticut. We knew that the enemy would place all types of obstacles in his path but You are more powerful than he is. The taxi was late to pick up Alex but he made it on time. Thank You!!!

I was trying to get to mass to pray for him and I also ran into all kinds of trouble to prevent me from getting there. First, I misplaced my phone. I didn't want to leave without it because I didn't want to miss Alex's phone call when he was out. I knew I had to put gas so I was trying to leave the house with plenty of time, but I wasted a few precious minutes searching for the phone. When I finally got to the gas station, the hose would not reach my gas tank. I pulled forward but there was a pickup truck in front of me so I had limited space. Then, the pump got stuck and it would not pour the gas. I could feel myself getting anxious. Finally, the pickup truck left, I pulled forward to the space he had vacated, I put gas and got to the church with five minutes to spare. Thank You, Jesus, for taking the wheel. Thank You for being in control.

During the mass, the readings were about the troubled times of the Hebrews when they were enslaved by the Egyptians. The priest told us that trouble is going to come into our lives but that You are with us. You will help us carry the cross. The main reading was about what happens when we choose to follow You. We will encounter resistance from the world, sometimes even from our own families. Choosing to follow You comes with a price. We have to carry the cross in order to follow You. But You will be with us until the end of times. You will not abandon us. I have no fear because You are in charge. You are in control.

Alex is now in his appointment. Please be with him. Please let him feel You. Please keep him safe.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 18, 2015

Dear Jesus:

Alex's appointment went very smoothly. Thank You for placing an angel in his path. When the going gets rough, You always find the right angels to help us out. And we are so very thankful.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 29, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for always being in control.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Walkers, Canes and Wheelchairs

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. —COLOSSIANS 3:15

July 28, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Vacation starts in five days. I can't wait. On Friday, Rafe and I will be flying to New York. We will be there on Saturday, and then on Sunday, we will drive to Connecticut to attend a baptism. On Monday, I will be on my own because Rafe has a business meeting. We fly back on Monday night, and then on Tuesday, we drive to Siesta Key. That is the part that I'm most looking forward to. Peace and relaxation for five days.

Those are the plans but of course, I have learned that many times I tell You my plans and You laugh because You have something else in mind. It's a bit frustrating every time I have to cancel travel plans but I have to trust that You are in charge. You know exactly what we need. I ask You to PLEASE, if it is your will, that You allow this vacation to happen. You know what a tough year we've had, so I beg You to PLEASE allow us to take this much needed break.

Last time I wrote to You, I forgot to mention my dad's 65th year reunion at Belen. As You know, he was not able to attend Alex's graduation because he was in the hospital. But Alex was able to attend his 65th year class reunion. I went too and it was very special to see him with some of his classmates. Many are already in heaven with You. It was a display of walkers, canes, wheelchairs... I joined the group with my broken knee which it's still in a brace. But in spite of their handicaps, they were all there celebrating their brotherhood. It made me realize that we made the right choice to send our boys to Belen. Sixty-five years have passed since my father graduated but he still carries in his heart the love for Belen, the pride of the education he received and the friendship with his old classmates. I hope that my sons one day realize the gift they were given and that they can cherish the Belen tradition for many years to come. I took a picture of my dad and my son. Sixty-five years apart but united by the same bond.

Tomorrow my dad will be having an ultrasound of his good leg. Everything is progressing well with the leg that had the bypass, but now the other leg has been bothering him. Please, Jesus, have mercy on him. I pray that if he has something on the other leg that it's benign and that it can be resolved with a simple procedure either before I leave or after I return. I leave him in your hands.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 28, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for clearing the way so we could enjoy that peaceful week back in 2013. It was a perfect vacation. We had a great time in New York and Connecticut, and a happy, relaxing time in Siesta Key. It was also bittersweet because it was our first vacation to Siesta Key without Rafi. It was also our last one because we have not returned.

On the day that we were leaving to New York, Chabeli found out that she passed her CPA exam with flying colors. I'm so proud of my girl. She's so smart and dedicated.

My dad's good leg had a small obstruction. Thank You, Jesus, that this time the doctors were able to resolve it with a peripheral angioplasty. He had to stay in the hospital a few days, but the obstruction was cleared and when You took him home, he left with both his legs. Thank You also because the procedure took place when I returned from Siesta Key.

My dad had to use walkers, canes and wheelchairs during his last three years here on earth, but thank You because he never lost his smile, his faith and his good spirits.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Please, No More Excitement in My Life

"Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening. Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My Face." Jesus Calling April 13

July 27, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Life got on the way and I have not written You in over a month. Three weeks ago, I was finally given the green light to start driving. Thank You, that was a blessing. I know that I have been a burden to Rafe and the kids. They had to take me everywhere: therapy, work, doctors' appointments, the rehab center so I could visit my dad... Even though I tried to cut down on all the extras, no beauty salon and no pleasure shopping, they still had to drive me around plenty. They also had to take on a lot of what I normally do: grocery shopping, running errands, etc. Finally, I have been able to resume my responsibilities and give them a break.

Right on time because the day after I resumed driving, Chabeli had a tonsillectomy. Thank You Jesus that everything went well. There were no complications. The recovery has been the most difficult part. She has been in a lot of pain, especially the first week. The pain medications helped a bit but the effect would start to wear off after two hours and she could only take them every four hours. It was hard for her to swallow and when she slept, it was even worst. She would wake up with her mouth completely dry which made the pain even more unbearable. It took ten days for the pain to finally subside. Last weekend she finally had her first taste of solid food. She ate a piece of Cuban toast by dipping it in cafe con leche. Thank You, Jesus, for holding her hand through this process. Please finish healing her fully. It still hurts when she yawns and her voice still sounds as if she swallowed a frog.

The day after her surgery, we had some more excitement in our lives. The electrical pole in our backyard exploded various times until it caught fire. I was afraid that our palm trees would catch fire too. We called the firemen and FPL. We were without power for five hours, and it was only for that amount of time because I told FPL that my daughter had just had surgery and we couldn't be here without power. So they came and gave us a temporary line. It took almost a week for them to come out for the permanent repairs.

And the crown of the excitement belongs to Alex, again. Four days ago, the phone rang. I answered and this is what I heard: "This is a Miami-Dade police officer. I'm here with your son Alex. Don't worry, he's alive. I pulled him over because he was driving recklessly. I need you to come over. I'll wait five minutes." My heart was pounding inside my chest. Alex had just left the house. I went over with Rafe. As soon as we left our neighborhood, we could see the blue police lights in the distance. There were two cops. One was in plain clothes in an unmarked car. He was the one that called me. He said that Alex was going at 65 miles per hour down 87th avenue, and that he was zig zagging from lane to lane. When he cut in front of him, he stopped him.

Thank You, Jesus, for looking out for my Alex. He could have gotten into an accident and the phone call that I received could have been quite different. But You protected him and placed a very nice police officer on his tail, as soon as he left the house.

Needless to say, Rafael was furious. Alex had already been punished because of the egging incident earlier this summer. Originally, he was punished the entire summer, but then we reduced it only til the end of June. I guess that was a mistake because obviously, he didn't learn the lesson. Now he's punished til he leaves for college in August, and this time, there will be no mercy. He cried a lot that night, which was good because Alex never cries. He always bottles up everything inside. I know he was crying because it's his last summer before he goes away to college and now all his plans are ruined. But I told him that he had to look at it from a different angle. I said: "Alex, that police officer may have saved your life. If he had not stopped you and you had continued driving the way you were driving, you could have gotten into an accident. What if you had lost your life? Then it would have truly been your last summer. Yes, you are grounded, but you will have more summers. You are alive. You are still going to see your friends at camp because the grounding doesn't include your job. You are still going to go with us to Siesta Key. I know that at this moment, you are looking at it from the point of view that you got caught. But one day, you are going to be thankful that you got caught. The police officer could have given you a ticket and washed his hands. But he took the trouble to call us. That shows that he is a man who cares. And that also shows me that you have an angel looking out for you." He didn't respond but I know that he listened. Last night there was a party, this afternoon there's a pool party going on and tonight there is another party. He will miss them all, but is better to miss out on a few parties than to miss out on the rest of his life.

I know, Jesus, that he is still too young to understand, but I thank You from the bottom of my heart because I know that on July 23rd, You saved Alex's life. Every day, I entrust my children to You, because I know that You love them even more than I do. You have the tools to take care of them, better than I ever could. I'm crying as I write this, but You know they are tears of joy because I feel so blessed. Thank You, Jesus, for always looking out for my babies and for always sending angels to protect them. But please, Jesus, don't send me any more excitement. I need peace and tranquility. My heart can't take it anymore.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 27, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for giving me the most peaceful summer I've had in a decade. I don't like excitement anymore. I'm grateful for boring days when nothing happens. I'm "thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening."

I love You, Jesus!!! 

Letters to Heaven: My Landing Pad

"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings." 

Ann Landers

July 26, 2007

Dear Mama Mary:

Today is your parents' feast day. What wonderful parents You must have that produced a woman like You. They are an inspiration for all struggling parents around the world. You and Joseph are an inspiration too, a role model to follow. Being parents is not an easy job and no one teaches us how to do it. We learn on the go. But with You as role model, all we need to do is ask ourselves, "what would Mary have done in this situation?" Or "how would Joseph have reacted if faced with this problem?"

Rafe and I want the same basic things for our children (happiness, success, education...) but we are very different in our parenting techniques. Rafe is much more strict, more authoritarian and he expects a lot from them. I'm more soft. I let them get away with more, which is not always so good. Rafe claims that I'm a "helicopter parent" but to a certain degree, he is too. Poor kids. They have become a landing pad.

Mama Mary, thank You for listening to me. Thank You for guiding me and for serving as a role model to teach me how to be a good mother.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

July 26, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

Today is grandparents' day. It's the day that we celebrate your parents, Jesus' grandparents. We don't know much about them as they are not mentioned in the Bible. But we know that they were very patient while they waited for many years to conceive a child. God gave them the gift of You.

Mama Mary, thank You for protecting my children from heaven. Yes, I have been a "helicopter parent." More of a blimp, since I just hover over them while a helicopter actually moves. I'm constantly checking "Find my Friends" to locate them, to make sure they are fine. I need to relax. I need to learn from You. I'm sure You worried about Jesus but You took a back seat so He could become the Messiah. If You had constantly interfered, You would not have allowed Him to fulfill God's mission for Him.

Please teach me to trust and allow God to protect them. Show me how to relax and get out of the way. I need to give God the space that He needs to guide my children in the path that He has set out for them. I need to stop being a helicopter or a blimp. They are not mine. They are not my landing pad. They belong to God. I need to let go and let God.

St. Anne and St. Joachim, pray for us and for our children.

I love You, Mama Mary!!!

Letters to Heaven: Summer Blessings

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
 and his courts with praise.
 Give thanks to him, bless his name. For the Lord is good;
 his steadfast love endures forever,
 and his faithfulness to all generations." 
Psalm 100:4-5

July 25, 2012

Dear Jesus:

Lately, I have been very lazy with my writing. It's been two months since I last picked up this journal. We are one month into the summer and it's been quite a busy one, but also a very blessed one.

Alex managed to finish his Junior year with one A and the rest Bs. His schedule for next year is going to be pretty tough with three AP classes, three Honor classes and Peer Ministry. I pray to You that he gets his act together since the beginning so he can get accepted into a good university. This summer, he went to the Dominican Republic on a Belen Youth Mission trip. He really enjoyed working with the "campesinos" and helping build a bridge so they have better access to the services they need. Now he is volunteering at South Miami Hospital. This summer has been a big improvement from the previous one. Thank You, Jesus, for the gift of Alex. He is an extraordinary boy with a great personality. He is witty, and he always has a funny remark for everything. Help him to grow into the young man that You want him to become. And help me to be the mom that he needs. Please protect Alex in everything he does and always surround him with the right friends.

Chabeli got accepted into both UM and Fordham for her MBA. Fordham gave her a very generous scholarship. I'm so proud of her. Last week, I went with her to New York and we spent two days visiting different neighborhoods and checking out apartments. She also attended an open house that the university was hosting. It was a tough two days because New York was having a heat wave and the temperature was 105 degrees. It was very uncomfortable to be walking, taking the subway and going to visit the most horrendous apartments that I have ever seen. They were all tiny, cramped, ugly and dirty. None of the buildings had elevators, laundry or security. And the rent for those dumps was $2,400 a month minimum. It was horrible. I felt really bad for Chabeli because she really wanted to move to New York, but in the end, after we sat down and compared the pros and cons for both universities, she ended up choosing UM. One of the big deciding factors is that UM has a 1-year MBA program, so even with the scholarship that Fordham offered her, she's saving a chunk of money and she will finish much faster. I'm glad she made the decision on her own because it really wasn't worth it for her to move to New York, to live in a tiny apartment with no comforts, and then end up with a huge student loan. If she still wants to live in New York, she can move there after graduation. Deloitte has already made her an offer and they have offices everywhere. Please protect my girl as she journeys through life and finds her place in the world. And when her heart is ready to love again, please cross her path with a good, honest, hard-working young man. I know that You have a truly special man saved just for her and she will meet him when the time is right.

My Rafi graduated from Princeton "magna cum laude." I am so proud of him. After all the tears, after all the struggles, after all the health issues, and after all the agony of his years in college which were a rollercoaster ride from start to finish, Rafi graduated and we are bursting with joy and happiness. My parents went with us, and they had the joy of seeing their grandson graduate from an Ivy League. This was the culmination of all the sacrifices they made when they left Cuba with nothing in their pockets.

The graduation activities were like a marathon.The first activity was the 4-hour P-Rade where all the alumni parade by year. The oldest alumni from the class of 1925, a 105-year-old gentleman, opened the parade. Four hours later, the class of 2012 made its way into the stadium. The following day was the Baccalaureate which was held inside the Princeton Chapel. Afterwards we went to an early dinner, and at night, the graduates serenaded us on the steps of one of the university halls. That turned out to be one of my favorite activities. It was a full moon evening, and they sang us their favorite songs: "We are Young," "Sweet Caroline," etc. It was very emotional.

The next day was Class Day and it was storming. Nonetheless, the smart Princetonians decided to have the activity outside. They gave us raincoats but it got so cold that my poor dad was shivering. I had to take them indoors and they missed the entire event. The guest speaker was Steve Carell. He was very funny. By the end, we were soaked from head to toe, and our feet were full of mud. But we made the best of it. The university provided us with box lunches, and then we went to the department award presentations. During the evening, they had a prom for the whole family. We took pictures and celebrated the joyous occasion with music and food.

And finally, it was Graduation Day. Thank You, Jesus, for the sunshine (pun intended). It was a beautiful ceremony. We were so proud of our Rafi. Afterwards we walked to his residential college for the last reception and to pick up his diploma. All in all, it was a beautiful experience and now I have all the pictures to savor for years to come.

Right now, Rafi is traveling through Europe with Emily. Once they return, they will go to California apartment hunting. They both start working for Facebook on the day Rafi turns 24 years-old. Please take care of both of them, Jesus, as they travel and as they start a new life on the West Coast. Please, continue to keep Rafi healthy and help him find a good doctor in California that can monitor his treatment.

Jesus, thank You for entrusting each of our children to us and for choosing us to be their parents.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 25, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Once again, Rafi and Emily are traveling through Europe. Those two are made for each other. They love to travel, especially to Europe. Thank You for always looking out for them. Thank You for the amazing two and a half years that they spent in California. Thank You for a smooth transition to New York. And thank You for keeping Rafi healthy through it all.

Chabeli continues to work for Deloitte but she never moved to New York. She's truly a Miami girl, even though she's talking about possibly transferring to a different city in the future. Thank You for always taking care of my girl, and thank You for placing Daniel in her path. They are about to celebrate three years together and I see her happy, content, and at peace.

And Alex continues to grow and mature into the young man that You want him to become. He had a few more growing pains in the last four years, but this past year I have finally noticed some positive changes. I pray that You continue to protect him. I pray that you allow him to have a smooth end to his four years in college. I pray that You choose the right company to offer him a job after graduation. And I pray that if his vocation is marriage, that You pick the right girl for him. Even though I still don't know who she is, I pray for her as well. May she share Alex's values and dreams so that together they can always walk in the direction that will lead them to You.

Jesus, thank You for entrusting each of our children to us and for choosing us to be their parents.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Silver and Gold

"With their silver and gold they made idols for themselves, to their own destruction." Hosea 8:4

July 9, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Here I am keeping You company in the Blessed Sacrament. I want to start by thanking You for my 49 years of life which I celebrated four days ago. Thank You Jesus for all the blessings that You have bestowed upon me. Thank You for the gift of faith. Thank You for placing me in a Catholic family who planted the first seed in my heart. Thank You because I know that my life is what it is because You have always been a part of it.

Thank You for Rafe. Thank You for crossing our paths in the summer of 1980 when I was praying to You to allow me to meet a good man of faith. Thank You for our marriage. Ten days ago we celebrated 27 years. We had plans to go to a new restaurant in Brickell but unfortunately, our plans had to be altered. Chabeli was returning from Jacksonville and her plane was delayed because of the bad weather. They had to land in Key West to refuel. Apparently, they had to detour and fly through the West Coast. She landed two hours late and since we told her that we would pick her up, we missed our reservation. We ended up eating at our favorite neighborhood restaurant, "Secreto." This is always a great choice and as Rafe said, "it's not the place, it's the company." And the fact that Chabeli made it home safely is the best gift. 

Speaking of Chabeli, she's really enjoying her internship at Deloitte. Thank You for leading her to that great company. Rafi also continues to do well in Seattle in his Microsoft internship. He went to San Francisco for the Fourth of July weekend to be with Emily. Thank You, Jesus, for placing her in his path. I pray that she can be a good influence in his life. Rafi has fallen head over heels in love with her. I pray for her also, that through Rafi she can get close to You.

Before I opened this journal to write to You, I first opened the Bible. I asked You to open it up at the page that You desired so that I could read Your message to me today. I opened the Bible at Hosea 8, and to be honest with You, I was a bit disappointed. This chapter talks about destruction, war and idols. It's not a pretty chapter and it's not a nice message.

I picked a random sentence which I quoted at the beginning of this letter. It talks about how silver and gold can bring about our destruction. It is so true. The love of material things can have the power to separate us from You. If we idolize things and material possessions, then we are not idolizing You, and You should be our only idol.

Thank You, Jesus, for our marriage and for blessing us with three wonderful children. Please, Jesus, help us not to love material things to the point that we take our eyes off You. Help us to keep our entire focus on You.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"Though wealth increase, do not set your heart upon it." Psalm 62:10

July 23, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for choosing Rafe for my husband. He's a man of faith who is like-minded with me. Together we can walk through this journey. Please help us to value You more than our possessions. Help us not to set our hearts upon wealth. Help us to be open to spreading it. Help us to place all our trust in You alone. And I pray the same for my children. May You always be first.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Leading our Children in the Right Direction

"I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you." Ezequiel 36:26

June 11, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, Lord, keeping You company in the Blessed Sacrament. I praise You and I love You, Father. Thank You for everything that You do for me. Thank You for taking care of all the issues in my life. Thank You for taking care of my family. Thank You because every time I have a lot going on, somehow You manage to make things better. You always help me to put things into perspective. I have the tendency to get overwhelmed and drown in a glass of water, but You always come to the rescue.

This week I have discovered things about Alex that have truly disappointed me. I found out that last year he was disrespectful to the senior counselor at the Belen Summer Camp and that is why he was not re-hired this summer. I also caught him in a lie yesterday. In the morning, I asked him, "Did the Heat win?" His answer was: "I don't know, I went to sleep." In the afternoon, he forgot about the lie. When he found out that he had gotten a perfect score in his Chemistry test, he said: "And it didn't affect me that I watched the entire game."

Please, Jesus, show Rafe and me the best way to punish him. We need to be tough with him and we need to teach him a lesson. Enlighten us so that we can bring him back to the right track. When we confronted him about what happened last year at the Belen Summer Camp, he said that he didn't like the senior counselor because he was strict. We need to teach him what strict truly is because he has no idea. Coach Barquin said it best: "We need to gear him towards becoming the good man that he is meant to become."

Please, Jesus, guide us.

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 20, 2011

Dear Jesus:

This weekend, Alex went to a Youth convention. This was a gift from You. The answer to my prayer nine days ago. You literally just placed it in Alex's path. Thank You for using Father Frank to lead him in the right direction. I just hope and pray to You that whatever message he receives this weekend takes root in his heart.

As far as the summer camp, I made him write a letter of apology to the Senior Counselor that he disrespected and to deliver it personally to Coach Barquin. Also, since he has no job for the summer, he will be my personal gardener. The hedges and ornamentals have gotten a lot of weed, so he will be weeding them. I think that's the biggest punishment that I could give him.

Please, Jesus, bring him back to You. Take him by the hand and lead him down the path of righteousness. 

I love You, Jesus!!!

June 28, 2011

Dear Jesus:

Alex went to the Youth Group last Sunday and he signed up to attend another retreat at the end of July. He seems to be very inspired by this new group so thank You, Jesus. When one door closes, another one opens. He couldn't work at the summer camp but You presented him with a better opportunity.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 22, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for always leading our children in the right direction. Every time they take a wrong turn, somehow You gear them back to You. All of them have given us headaches at some point or another, especially the boys, but You always managed to teach them a lesson.

I pray for them today, that they find the way back to your Church. May they find a community that fills them and where they can better serve You. And please don't give up on them. I know they love You, they are just young and they feel that they can walk through life without You at the center. Please continue to lead them in the right direction. I pray that one day they realize, that You must always come first.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Through the Wringer

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." —PSALM 23:1–4

July 21, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Some days are just more than I can bear. Today, I'm down in the dumps. I have no energy or desire to do anything. Rafi is down in the dump too. He also has no energy. I truly detest to see him like this, and I wish I had the energy to motivate him, to pull him out of the dumps, but the pain in my heart is so intense, that I feel paralyzed.

Today I feel as if my heart has been stepped on, hit, bombarded, ripped apart... It feels as if it went through the wringer. The pain is unbearable. There is nothing more agonizing for a mother than to see her child suffer. Rafi is suffering and my heart is crying out in pain.

I know that I need to get my act together to be able to help him. I'm no help if I'm crawling. I need to come out of the hole and start acting. Please, Jesus, give me the strength to get moving, to do what needs to be done. I need to support him and be available for him.

I feel lost and lonely, like a sheep without a shepherd. Rafi is feeling even worst so I need to be able to guide him and lead him back to health. Please give me the courage and motivation to do what needs to be done. 

Please calm my fears, Jesus. Every time I see a light, I come upon another turn in the road and I'm immersed once again in complete darkness. The road is filled with obstacles and more obstacles.

I'm holding on to You, Jesus, as hard as I can. You need to pull me because my feet cannot walk another step. I also need to ask You to pull Rafi because he has fallen deeply in a ditch, and he is having a very hard time coming out. I think that part of the reason is that he has felt rejected by a girl that he was pursuing. Please, Jesus, help him to meet the right girl. Lead him towards someone that can help him become a better person, someone that believes in him and encourages him, someone that can look beyond his outer shell and discover the inner Rafi, the gentle Rafi with his good feelings, good intentions, intense emotions, passions, and love for life.

I'm scared, Jesus. I'm terrified. Please, throw him a rope and pull him out. It's been a very tough week for him. Jesus, please, take care of Rafi. Please, Jesus, heal Rafi. Give me back my healthy boy.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 21, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You for giving me the strength to crawl out of the hole. Little by little, with your help, I was able to climb my way back up. Every time I was down in the dumps, You pulled me out and helped me to feel better.

Thank You for not giving up on us. You kept sending us the help that we needed through various sources. Thank You for pulling my Rafi out of the ditch, and thank You for leading him to Emily. She's the girl that I prayed for all those years ago. It took him a couple of years to meet her, but she was worth the wait.

Thank You for always being our good shepherd, especially when our hearts were being squeezed through the wringer.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Sacrifice, Compromise, Loyalty and Jesus First

"A successful marriage is not only about romance, flowers, candle light dinners and walks along the beach. A successful marriage is about a lifetime of sacrifice, compromise, loyalty and Jesus first."

July 10, 2014

Dear Jesus:

This week I attended the "Resurrection Mass" for Leonor "Mamama" Brown de Garcia-Tuñon. It was a beautiful mass, crowned by Father Willie's homily for his grandmother. I never had the privilege to meet Mrs. Leonor, but based on Father Willie's homily, she tried to be the best person that she could be as a wife and as a mother. I have been inspired by the story of a woman that I never met to be a better wife and mother. Father Willie mentioned three points that he considered were key in his grandparents' successful marriage of 67 years: sacrifice, compromise and loyalty.

His mamama, as all the grandchildren called her, sacrificed everything for her husband. Father Willie placed a lot of emphasis on the "de" in her name. She belonged to her husband, one hundred percent. It didn't matter that she had nine children that required her time and attention. Her husband always came first. And yet, her children never felt that she didn't love them. She always made time for each of her children without neglecting her husband. A son and a daughter spoke at the end of the mass. Each child felt like he or she was her favorite. Amazing. What a woman.

Mamama knew that her husband liked golf and technology. So she compromised. On Saturdays, he could go play golf and buy a gadget. In return, he loved her unconditionally. Once when she was hospitalized, her husband told one of his grandsons, "I hope that one day you feel the pain that I'm feeling right now." His grandson, confused, asked him: "What do you mean, grandpa?" "What I mean is that if you ever get to feel this pain, you will have found the woman of your life and you will love her with your whole entire being, more than you love anyone or anything else," he answered. Wow. What a beautiful love story.

They were loyal to each other for 67 years. They went from Cuba to Spain with seven children in tow. In Spain, they had two more. Then they moved to the United States. And all the while, they were loyal til her last second here on earth.

I hope I can be half the wife this lady was. I felt like an ant when I heard Father Willie talk about her with such pride. I complain to Rafael about such insignificant things. I need to engrave in my heart the words: sacrifice, compromise and loyalty. Then, I can hope to aspire, that one day in the future, when I leave this earth and meet You in heaven, my children and grandchildren will talk about me the way that Father Willie and his aunt and uncle spoke about their mamama.

I am so happy that I attended her "Resurrection Mass." Mamama, I never met you here on earth, but from heaven you are teaching women like me how to be better wives. May you enjoy the kingdom of heaven and may you be reunited with your husband one day in heaven.

I love You, Jesus!!! I hope You are enjoying spending time with this amazing lady.

July 19, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Last month, I attended the 60th Anniversary Mass for Jesus and Estrellita Trujillo. As you well know, they were a very important part of my spiritual formation. I spent my teenage years attending a youth group, "Teen Action," at St. Dominic Catholic Church. Mr. Trujillo was the leader of this youth group. He was such an inspiration to me. I learned so much from him, and also from Estrellita, who with her quiet ways and sweet smile, taught me how to be a good wife. Chiqui, a "Teen Action" member who shared a testimony said it best. He said that Jesus and Estrellita reminded him of You and Mama Mary. While You were at the forefront preaching and guiding your apostles, Mama Mary stayed home praying. Jesus was the one that met with us every Monday night at St. Dominic, while Estrellita stayed home praying for him and for all of us.

Aside from meeting with us at the church, and taking us to many activities and trips, the doors of their home were always open to that entire gang of teenage hooligans that made up that amazing "Teen Action" group. I spent many nights in their home, meeting around a large wooden table, planning events for our youth group, or privately pouring my heart out whenever I had a typical teenage issue, from a heartbreak to a religious question.

Attending this celebration opened the doors to a flood of memories that were stored inside my heart. Aside from seeing friends from the past that I had not seen in a very long time, it made me realize that they were not only part of the soil of my spiritual growth, they opened the doors to people and events that would mark my life forever. My love of writing began in this Youth Group, when I became part of the team that published the monthly newsletter. I also attended "Encuentros Juveniles," a youth encounter, because I learned about it through "Teen Action." In this weekend encounter, I got to know You in a more personal way. I realized that You were more than a God who lived in heaven. You were my friend and You had been walking by my side all of my life. Our relationship changed completely. It was also through "Encuentros Juveniles" that I met Rafael. Eventually, I became the newspaper editor and he was the treasurer. You crossed our paths and the rest is history.

As You can see, I owe a lot to Jesus and Estrellita Trujillo. They also taught me, without words, what it would take to make my marriage successful. Aside from sacrifice, compromise and loyalty, like Father Willie mentioned in his homily about his grandparents and which no doubt are key ingredients in the Trujillo's marriage, they also taught me that in order for my marriage to succeed, You had to be at the center. Jesus' motto was always "Jesus Primero" (Jesus First), and he was not referring to himself. You were always present at the Trujillo's household. They poured Your love to everyone who walked in through those doors. The mass was concelebrated by two "Teen Action" members whose vocation started in our youth group, Father Juan Carlos Rios and Father Albert Lahens. In his homily, Father Juan Carlos, who lived with the Trujillo's when he moved here from Nicaragua as a teenager, shared that even though the Trujillo's were not rich in material things, they were rich in love. The mass was packed with hundreds of people from different eras of the Trujillo's 60 years of marriage. They were all there because at some point in their lives, they were touched by the Trujillo's love, a love that could only come from You because it was generous, it was charitable, it was lavish, and it was receptive. They welcomed everyone into their home, from the poor to the rich, from the troublemaker to the subdued, from the believer to the nonbeliever. We had a few troublemakers join our youth group through the years, but when they were touched by the Trujillo's secret ingredient, their lives were never the same.

Thank You, Jesus, for leading me forty years ago to that youth group that would alter my life forever. Thank You for couples like Mr. & Mrs. Garcia-Tuñon and Mr. & Mrs. Trujillo who spend their lives bringing You to others. Thank You for reminding me today that a successful marriage is not only based on romance, flowers, candle light dinners and walks along the beach. A successful marriage is about a lifetime of sacrifice, compromise, loyalty and having You at the center. That is the key to celebrating 33 more years of marriage.

I would like to pray today for Jesus and Estrellita Trujillo. May they celebrate many more years together with You at the center so they can continue spreading your love. And may You bless their beautiful family which has expanded in all these years from a son and a daughter, to an additional son and daughter, eight grandchildren, plus two through marriage, and one beautiful great-granddaughter. May You bless them always.

I love You, Jesus!!! May You always be first.

Letters to Heaven: My Greatest Treasure

“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”—Matthew 6:20–21

July 1, 2014

Dear Jesus:

I am sitting in the balcony enjoying the view. This has been a wonderful week. First, my dad was finally discharged from the hospital. I sent a card with flowers, chocolates and balloons to all the nurses because they were truly amazing. I used to do little acts of kindness like that in the past and recently, I have lost my touch. I need to pick it up again. I can't allow life to get in the way of gratitude.

This morning I accompanied my mom to the doctor's office for my dad's cure. I wanted to weep when they removed the bandages. After removing the angiosarcoma from his scalp, the top of his head is practically gone. The doctor said it best, "his head is now like an open cookie jar." It looks pretty scary. I had to turn around. As I looked out the window, tears streaming down my face, I thought of You. Your wounds, Jesus, had to be ten times worst. After You were scourged, after they pushed those thorns into your scalp, after You were nailed to the cross... Your wounds had to be pretty awful. I'm sorry, Jesus, for all the times that I have failed to love You, and for all the times that I have sinned. My sins nail You to the cross over and over again.

Now, let me turn to happier thoughts. On Sunday, we celebrated our 30th anniversary, quite a milestone. Rafe asked Chabeli and Alex to come over to the apartment on Saturday because he had a surprise for me and he wanted them to be present. The four of us went to dinner to Matteo's Italian Restaurant. When we finished, we were discussing whether to take the leftovers home or leave them behind. Chabeli said she would take them. I asked her, "are you really going to eat that tomorrow?" And she blurted out, "If I don't eat it, Rafi can eat it." My reaction was, "Rafi? Did you say Rafi?" She got all nervous and said, "I meant dad."

It turned out that was my surprise. At midnight, Rafi and Emily showed up at the apartment. Que alboroto!!! It was awesome. They came all the way from California and they are here with me now. I'm ecstatic. It was the best anniversary/birthday gift I could have ever gotten. On Sunday, we all went to dinner to Gigi's on the Water. It was a great celebration.

Thank You, Jesus, for thirty wonderful years and for the fruits that were born from our marriage. They are my greatest treasure.

And Jesus, I want to pray for my dad. My heart weeps for him. Please help him carry his cross, endure the pain of his wounds and let his heart be purified so he can meet You in heaven when it´s time to take him home.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 18, 2017

Dear Jesus:

My family is truly my greatest treasure. Spending time with them is the most precious gift, and since now it doesn't happen as often as I would like, when it does, I cherish it all the more. That week that we got to spend all together back in 2014 was truly awesome. It was a week long celebration.

I remember one night that we got caught in a huge storm. I had taken Rafi and Emily to Miami Beach to visit my parents. Rafi had a craving for "pastelitos," and there's a grocery store across from my parents' house that sells them. But the storm was so bad that crossing the street on foot was out of the question. It was so windy that even the umbrella would not have helped. We decided to take the car and go to Publix which had an undercover parking. The streets were so flooded that our car turned into a boat. But just being with them turned that mission into an adventure. We were able to get the guava pastries that Rafi and Emily love so much, we took them back to the apartment and stayed with my parents until the storm subsided. Thank You for allowing us to spend that extra time with my parents, especially with my dad whose life here with us was approaching its end.

On July 4th we had a huge party at the beach apartment. Many of our extended family members, including my parents, came over and we celebrated both our nation's birthday and mine. We got to see all the fireworks from our balcony. We could see them in all directions but the best display were the ones at the Aventura Golf Club.

It was a beautiful week, one that I will cherish forever and which thankfully was captured in pictures. Thank You, Jesus, for protecting Rafi and Emily as they traveled from and back to California to be with us. Thank You for protecting my family always. Thank You for my greatest treasure and for the memories we made together.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Calming the Storm

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." —COLOSSIANS 3:15

June 19, 2013

Dear Jesus:

Here I am, Lord, patiently waiting at the rehab center. The last week has been frustrating to say the least. I know that I need to place my trust in You but I also know that I have to do my part to get things resolved. 

I guess the timing for breaking my knee turned out to be perfect. Originally, I didn't think so, but it has forced me to be at the rehab center with my dad for long periods of time, due to the fact that I cannot drive. This has been a blessing in disguise because if I had not been here, they would have left my dad in bed all day long without a care in the world.

This past week has taught me that when push comes to shove, I can stand my ground and fight an entire health system if I need to. One morning, when I arrived at the rehab center and found that my dad was still in bed, with the breakfast by his side getting cold because no one had bothered to help him with it, and he told me that his sugar level had been at 50, I stormed downstairs with my crutches and my broken knee. I walked into the social worker's office and let him have a peace of my mind.

The therapy was another ordeal. At first, they kept forgetting to put him on the schedule, so I had to complain every time so they would find a spot for him. By now, they already know me at the gym. I guess I have done my own share of therapy walking up and down the hallways of this rehab center. My heart goes out to the patients that don't have anyone to fight for them. My dad's roommate spends most of his time in bed. I am yet to see someone come to visit him. He's relying on me to get what he needs.

It's been such a nightmare, that by the second day we knew that we had to get him out of here. Honestly, he's better off at home. He was supposed to be discharged yesterday but it did not happen because there is a lot of red tape in the process. However, it looks like it will happen in a couple of days. He will be having nursing care at home and outpatient therapy in a rehab center near his home.

Another issue that we've had is that the insurance denied the transportation. Most of the patients that are staying here get taken to their doctor's appointments by the rehab center's medical van. In our case, we had to take him ourselves. Between my mom, and me with my broken knee, this turned out to be quite a challenge. We even had to find our own wheelchair, which my mom was able to borrow from a friend. But with your help, Jesus, we have managed.

Yesterday, we took him to the surgeon. He was very happy with the way my dad's leg looks. Thank You, thank You, Jesus. If You had not placed all the Angels in our path, the outcome would have been totally different. I leave my dad in your hands, Jesus. Take care of him and protect him until You are ready to welcome him home.

Right now, my dad is in therapy. Of course, first I had to go down to speak to the supervisor because once again, he was not on the schedule. I'm in his room writing to You. I also started my therapy today. It was just for thirty minutes to move my leg to a 45 degree angle. It's supposed to be three times a week but for now, until my dad goes home, twice a week is enough. I can do the exercises on my own the rest of the time.

The part that is being the hardest for me is not being able to drive. I have scheduled my therapy sessions at 6:30 in the morning so Rafe can take me and pick me up before he goes to work. Yesterday, my friend Gloria brought me to the rehab center. Today, it was Joan who did me the favor. Thank You for these angels and for teaching me that is fine to ask for help.

The kids have been absolutely wonderful throughout this whole ordeal. They have been driving me everywhere when they are not at work. Chabeli has been taking care of the meals at home. She's doing the groceries and she's cooking. Thank You for giving me such amazing children.

Rafe has been supportive in his own unique way. He's been repairing a lot of things at home that needed to be done. He has gone to Publix with Chabeli. He has taken me to the office and other places that I've needed to go to. He even gave up his Father's Day so I could spend it with my dad. He wanted to go down to the Keys for lunch, but instead, he had to settle with spending the day at the rehab center. He has truly been amazing, but unfortunately, we have also had our share of fights. I know it's been mostly my fault because my stress level has been stretched to the limit, so I snap at him very easily. But also, it has not helped that when You were distributing patience, You forgot to give some to him. It doesn't take much to set off the storm.

Please Jesus, let your Peace reign in our home once more. Teach me how to calm the storm.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 16, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I guess when we are under stress, it's very easy to lose it. That was one tough summer for our marriage. In the midst of everything that was going on, we were constantly at each other's neck. And most of our fights were for complete stupidity. If he would tell me something like "we are running out of toothpaste, add it to your list," I would snap at him with "obviously I can't drive so what's the point of adding it to my list." That would be enough to set off a hurricane.

This was also the year that my in-laws both passed away. I have always heard that one of the stages of grieving is anger. Rafe was grieving, and he seemed to be stuck in this stage for the entire summer. We couldn't exchange three words without ending up in a fight.

Thank You, Jesus, for showing us how to calm the storm. Thank You for saving our marriage, over and over and over. We would not be married today if You had not pulled us through the storms.

And thank You, Jesus, for giving me three additional years with my dad.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: A Prayer for All the Strong Women in my Life

"A woman is like a tea bag: You never know her strength until you drop her in hot water." Nancy Reagan

July 15, 2007

Dear Jesus:

Today I was reading "Life Lessons for Women" and that book inspired me to write. I was reflecting on my life, where I have been and where I am going, and I can truly say that I am very happy with my life. I have accomplished a lot as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as a business woman, as a Christian woman, and as a friend. As I look within me, as deeply as I can, I'm happy with the woman I have become. I'm happy with who I am.

When I look at the past, I see a shy girl who was afraid to talk in public. I see a girl who would rather remain within her protective shell. I see a girl that was afraid to stand up for what was right. Today, I see a confident woman, who's not so scare anymore to speak in public. I see a woman who stands up to others if she needs to. I see a woman who defends her rights and the rights of her family without fear. I see a woman that has come out of her shell and who feels happy with whom she is and what she has accomplished.

This past year I have also managed to do something that for me always seemed impossible. I am walking three to four miles on a regular basis. That requires a "WOW." Even Rafe is impressed with me. I am still amazed that I have been able to fit that hour of walking into my busy schedule. And the most amazing part is that I get up to do it at 5:30 am when I have never been a morning person.

Jesus, thank You for helping me find the woman within me. Thank You for creating me just as I am.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 15, 2017

Dear Jesus:

I wrote that letter to You ten years ago. Little did I know that the past decade was going to be so tough. But thanks to your love and your guidance, I was able to climb every mountain and jump every hurdle. I guess I had to grow first into a confident woman to be able to withstand the hot water.

I am also proud that I have been able to keep my walking commitment all these years. Yes, it's still very tough to get up at 5:30 am. I probably should walk at 3 am. Many nights I'm awake at that time, but if I happen to slumber off, I'm sound asleep when the alarm goes off at 5:21 am. But You give me the push that I need to get out of bed, put on my walking shoes and get moving.

Jesus, today I would like to pray for all the women in my life. They are all wonderful women, but sometimes they don't hear it enough. They are good wives, good mothers, good daughters, great friends, amazing women of faith, and many of them manage to do all that and work full time. The women in my life are sensitive, emotional, and they care a lot about others. They are beautiful on the outside but most importantly, on the inside. Many of them, like me, are starting to get a few wrinkles, but there is nothing to worry about because they are simply wisdom wrinkles.

I know that the women in my life are all reading this blog and they are thinking that I'm not referring myself to them, because they are all so humble. But I am referring myself to all my women friends, sisters, cousins, nieces, mother, and daughter that I know read my blog. You are the strong women in my life and I am blessed because you are in my life.

Jesus, bless all the women in my life today and always. And may they always know how strong they are, without the need to be dropped first in the hot water.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: The Seat of Wisdom

"St. Bernard and many Saints said that it was never, ever heard at any time or in any place that Mary refused to hear the prayers of her children on earth." The Power of One Hail Mary

July 14, 2009

Dear Lady, Seat of Wisdom:

You are in our house this week, for a short visit but a very powerful one. Ever since You arrived, I have felt such peace in our home.

I would like to entrust to You, my Dear Lady, my son Rafi who has been ill. Please intercede on his behalf. Carry my prayers to your Son, and ask Him to heal my dear son. Grant my son the serenity to accept the things that he cannot change, courage to fight his way to health and wisdom to know when he can run and when he needs to slow down.

Your Son is wisdom. Help us to obtain our wisdom from Him. You sat Him in your lap so many times, You carried Him in your arms and thus made a Seat for Him, hence You are the Seat of Wisdom. You are the Seat on which Jesus stands. Your hands hold Him up for all of us. We ask for His blessing. We pray for His wisdom to know what it is that we must do. We pray for His courage to continue our journey.

As You know, I have been a bit angry with your Son. I'm sorry Mama Mary for being angry at your Son. I know that Rafi's illness is not His fault. On Saturday, I went to confession at St. Louis. I was very lucky that it was Father Fletcher's turn because it was more of a spiritual direction than a confession. We talked about Rafi and all my fears. I told him that I was angry with God. He told me that God has broad shoulders. He also told me to pray to the Holy Spirit and to ask for the spirit of fear to leave me.

Afterwards, I went to the Blessed Sacrament to spend some time alone with your Son. I was staring at the host, asking your Son to reveal himself to me. Instead of seeing your Son's image, I clearly saw the image of a monkey. I guess your Son has a sense of humor and He knew that I needed to laugh. Well, He succeeded. You have a very funny Son, Mama Mary.

I love You, Mama Mary, our Lady Seat of Wisdom!!! Please, pray for us.

July 14, 2017

Dear Mama Mary:

One of the best things that happened in 2009 was that I joined a Bible class at St. Louis. It was supposed to be just the one that was offered that summer, but I enjoyed it so much, that I have continued enrolling every single year from September to May. Even during tax season, I have managed to fit it into my tight schedule.

The Bible class has a traveling statue of You. It's your image of the "Seat of Wisdom." In the past eight years, You have spent many days at my home. And every time You come to visit, You bring us a lot of peace.

Thank You, Mama Mary, for taking care of my Rafi that fateful summer, and thank You for carrying my prayers to your Son. Thank You for giving us the wisdom to make the right decisions for him. Thank You for always walking by our side.

I love You, Mama Mary, our Lady Seat of Wisdom!!! Please, pray for us.

Letters to Heaven: We are all Flowers in your Garden

"How varied are your works, Lord! In wisdom You have wrought them all, the earth is full of your creatures." Psalm 104:24

June 15, 2006

Dear Jesus:

It would be so wonderful if I could begin each day without worries, if I could start each day without worrying about everything I have to do. It seems that the more I do, the more I have to do. My "to-do" list is infinite, it has no end. I always have something to do, too much to do, not enough time to do.

I don't understand how there are people in this world that have absolutely nothing to do. But it shouldn't surprise me because even though we all come from You, we are all different. We all have different needs, different problems and different desires. But even though we are all different, we are all searching for the same thing. We are all searching for You. We may call You by different names, but in the end, we are all searching for meaning. Some people will find You and remain in the right path. They will follow You all their lives. Some will find You, only to lose You again later on. Others will never find You. They will choose to remain in the darkness all their lives.

How different are your creatures, Lord. In every group of people there are many different personalities. But when a group unites and comes together in harmony, they can do great things. It's like the human body, every part is so different from each other yet every part is unique and special. Every part is important and necessary. Otherwise the body would be incomplete. It's just like a garden, full of different flowers. They are all different, but they are all beautiful, each in its unique way.

I wish I could wake up one day and just say "today I have absolutely nothing to do, today is mine and I'm going to do absolutely nothing." But I know I can't because I must do my part to make your garden more beautiful.

I love You, Jesus!!!

"Perfection consists in being what God wants us to be." St. Theresa of the Child Jesus

July 12, 2017

Dear Jesus:

A few weeks ago, we were in New York, waiting in line to enter the "911 Memorial Museum." As I looked around, I saw so many people, so different from one another. And I couldn't help think that You recognize us all. As different as we are, You love us all. There are millions of people in the world, with different qualities and different talents, and You need us all.

Last Sunday in Church, I was thinking the same thing. In a community, there are people that are in the forefront and others that are in the background. They like to be as invisible as possible, they prefer not to be noticed and yet, they are just as important. You need all the flowers in your garden. As St. Theresa says, we must be perfect in what You want us to be. If You need us in the forefront, we must try to achieve perfection in taking your message to others through your words or through service. If You want us to be in the background, we must achieve perfection in our prayers, in our intercession, in our silence, and in our love for others.

Jesus, You do not have favorites. You love the good speaker as much as You love the quiet person. You love the musically talented as much as You love the one that can only sing in silence. You love the one that cooks and prepares the meals as much as You love the one that serves it. You love and need all the flowers in your garden. The beautiful rose is just as important to You as the simple daisy. The orchid is just as beautiful to You as is the baby breath.

We just need to be available so You can place us where You need us. We just need to be what You want us to be, so that together, we can make your garden more beautiful.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Why do Bad Things Happen?

"Suffering can make us better or it can make us bitter." Father Paul Vuturo

June 8, 2006

Dear Jesus:

It's been two months since my last letter to You, and it seems so much longer because these two months have been very rough. Among other things, the most troubling thing that happened was Maggie's passing. That was a pretty tough blow and I have so many questions. The main one being, "why do bad things happen to good people?"

There is a book written by a Jewish rabbi with this title. I read it but I don't agree one hundred percent with what he says. The book claims that You have no control over sickness, accidents or bad things in general. If this is true, then what is the point of praying? If You have no control over sickness, accidents, etc. then praying for the sick or praying for protection is not going to help at all, so what's the point of praying? That is why I cannot agree with the theory in this book. It goes against everything I have believed my entire life. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that You listen and I believe that You answer our prayers, sometimes. My confusion is, why do bad things still happen?

Why did Maggie have to die in that car accident, leaving behind four children that need her, a husband who loved her and a family that is devastated by her loss? Couldn't You have protected her? Or is it that You truly don't have control over everything? Did You take her because she was ready to die? She had said those same words to her husband just one week before her death. Do You take those that are ready to die? And how do You know who is ready? I'm so confused, Jesus. And the sad part is that I probably will not get any answers until I meet You at the end of my life.

I want to let You know, just in case You don't know, that I am not ready to die. I need more time to see my children grow up, to meet my grandchildren, and to celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with Rafe. As overwhelming as life can be, there are things I need to do, dreams I want to achieve, and goals I want to accomplish, so I need a little more time here on earth. Yes, I look forward to the day I will meet You face to face, but I'm not ready for that moment yet. In the meantime, I will continue to prepare myself through meditations, prayers (even if You can't answer them all), learning about You and trying to be a good person.

Please help me to deal with all the stress, show me how to handle just one task at a time, and don't let me get overwhelmed with the never ending "things to do" list.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 10, 2017

Dear Jesus:

It's been eleven years since I asked You all those questions and You still have not answered them. Just like I suspected then, You are not going to answer them until I'm in front of You in heaven.

In the past eleven years, though, I have grown a lot in my relationship with You. Even though I still don't feel ready to die, I know that it is not up to me. Who am I to tell You the time or the hour? Only You know that. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be so when the hour comes, I'm ready.

I don't question You anymore. I know that we all have our crosses to carry and only You know why some are harder than others. Everyone is going through something. Some people carry their crosses with a lot of dignity. They make it seem so easy. Others are always angry or complaining. I have sent You plenty of shouts and complaints, especially eight years ago when Rafi got so sick. But You taught me how to grow from the pain, how to offer it for others, and how to accept my cross with dignity.

As Father Vuturo said in his homily a few months ago: "Suffering can make us better or it can make us bitter." I like to think that I became a better person because of what we went through. I know for sure that Rafi became a better person. He has never been bitter because of his illness. And he taught Rafe and me not to be bitter either. We tried to turn our pain and what we learned from it into helping others that are walking in our same shoes.

Bad things happen, to good and bad people alike. It's part of our journey here on earth. The good news is that if we carry our crosses with humility and dignity, You will be waiting for us at the end of this journey, and I have no doubt that in heaven, there will be no more suffering and no more pain.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: Thank You for Always being Present

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." —Psalm 28:7

July 7, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Here I am in the peace and silence of my sacred garden. I am at peace because Rafi is doing better. The medication is doing its work, to the point that he is attending FIU every day from 12 to 5. He's been exercising. He's been socializing plenty. He's positive and happy. I feel that with your help, he's going to come out victorious. 

Chabeli and Alex are both doing fine, and helping their brother through this process. We've made sure to include bonding time with them. They wanted us to go to our anniversary trip to Turks and Caicos, a trip we had been planning since earlier this year, but we just didn't feel comfortable turning our backs and leaving them alone with Rafi, especially to an island with limited flights. But just the fact that they offered, makes me feel very proud as a mom.

On June 27th, we welcomed a new member to our family. I am honored to have been chosen as his godmother. He is absolutely beautiful. Thank You, Jesus, for allowing him to be born fully healthy, in spite of the fact that he decided to make his grand entrance one month early. Grant him a wonderful life and always protect him.

I joined a Bible class at St. Louis. I'm very happy, and hopeful that this will strengthen my relationship with You.

Thank You for always taking care of my family and for always throwing us a rope when we feel like we are drowning. Thank You for always being present.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 7, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Thank You, for always walking with me. As I go back and read all my old journals, especially the one I wrote in 2009, I realize that my life has been mixed with happy and hard times. But there has always been a constant, and that has been You. We have climbed many mountains together. We have fallen into many craters together. You have pushed me. You have pulled me. And many times, You have carried me. I would not be here today if it had not been for You. I want to thank You from the bottom of my heart. Thank You for always being present.

Even though life has not been a piece of cake, I want to thank You because the happy times far surpass the hard times. I can look back and smile at all the good memories. I have enjoyed many vacations with my family, from our yearly trips to Siesta Key to places as far as Alaska, Hawaii and Italy. Every memory of each of our shared trips brings a smile to my face and joy within my heart.

All the moments we have shared together as a family, whether good or bad,  have united us, and the bond we have is as strong as a rock.

Thank You, Jesus, for always being a part of our life. Thank You for always being present.

I love You, Jesus!!!

Letters to Heaven: The Best Birthday Presents

"Thank You God for giving me another year of life. Thank You for the love of my family. Thank You for sending us your Son who gave his life for us. Those are the best birthday presents."

July 5, 2008

Dear Jesus:

Today is my birthday. The best birthday present that my family is giving me this year is the gift of unity. We are living together in unity and harmony. I see my three children truly enjoying each other's company, and that gives me such joy. I see them horsing around with Rafe, and I rejoice. We have dinner together and then we stay at the dinner table having good discussions about various topics. We all participate and contribute to the conversation. No one is in a hurry to get up and lock themselves in their rooms. Sometimes we stay together and play a game. This past week, we watched a TV program together. I enjoyed the warmth of having my family around me all cuddled together in the sofa. That is all I need to be truly happy.

Both Rafi and Chabeli are working at UM this summer. Alex is taking an Algebra class at Belen. The fact that they all have a sense of responsibility is helping their relationship with Rafe. Last summer was a different story. Rafe was constantly losing his temper, especially with Rafi. I was truly afraid of how this summer would turn out, but it has been wonderful. They have not fought at all. This past year away at college has helped Rafi attain a level of maturity that he didn't have before. He used to act on impulse. Now he stops to think before he acts.

Chabeli graduated from high school last month. She got 5s in all her AP exams. I'm so proud of her. She also broke up with her high school boyfriend. I pray to You, Jesus, that as she heads off to college, that you place "good" boys in her path. Help her to choose wisely and help her to find someone that is worthy of her love. A young man that shares her values, that has integrity and will make her into a better person.

Alex has started to go out without us. Most of the times, he goes to the movies with his friends. He's growing up fast. Help us to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Last night, he wanted to go out with Rafi and Chabeli to a movie at midnight. We said "no." The 5-year difference in age is starting to show. Rafi and Chabeli are in college, he's in middle school. We have to set limits but it's getting harder. Please Jesus, choose good friends for him.

Next week we are going to Siesta Key. This was a last minute decision and we are looking forward to it. It will be good for our family.

Thank You Jesus for allowing me to enjoy another birthday surrounded by the love of my family. That is the best birthday present.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 5, 2009

Dear Jesus:

Today is my birthday. Thank You Jesus for the gift of life. You gave yours for me. That's the best birthday present that anyone has ever given me. Thank You.

Thank You for the gift of my family. They are all with me today. They are treating me to dinner at Smith & Wolensky. 

We went to mass this morning. I got a bit emotional after the communion song, "I'm coming back to the heart of worship because it's all about You, Jesus." It's true, Jesus. It's all about You. You are the one who gives meaning to everything. You are the center of my life. Thank You for carrying me during the difficult times.

Thank You for giving me the best birthday present, the gift of life.

I love You, Jesus!!!

July 5, 2017

Dear Jesus:

Today is my birthday. The best birthday present is to see how my children have grown up and matured. They are all in their 20s and doing amazingly well. Rafi and Chabeli are fully independent. They both graduated from college and found incredible jobs that they love. Rafi is engaged to be married next year, and You couldn't have picked a better girl for him. Emily is simply beautiful, both inside and out. Chabeli is also very happy with her Daniel, who complements her perfectly. And Alex is currently doing an internship that he is enjoying and where he is learning a lot. He will graduate this December, if it is Your will, and I have no doubt that You are going to find him a perfect fit for a job and for a future wife.

I can't ask for anything else. I am truly blessed. And I have by my side my husband and best friend. We have been together for over 36 years, 33 of those married. And even though we've had our rough times, our relationship has mellowed out. I know it's been thanks to the fact that You have walked with us every step of the way.

Thank You, Jesus, for allowing me to celebrate another birthday, surrounded by the love of my family. And thank You for the gift of life. Those are the best birthday presents.

I love You, Jesus!!!