June 8, 2006
Dear Jesus:
It's been two months since my last letter to You, and it seems so much longer because these two months have been very rough. Among other things, the most troubling thing that happened was Maggie's passing. That was a pretty tough blow and I have so many questions. The main one being, "why do bad things happen to good people?"
There is a book written by a Jewish rabbi with this title. I read it but I don't agree one hundred percent with what he says. The book claims that You have no control over sickness, accidents or bad things in general. If this is true, then what is the point of praying? If You have no control over sickness, accidents, etc. then praying for the sick or praying for protection is not going to help at all, so what's the point of praying? That is why I cannot agree with the theory in this book. It goes against everything I have believed my entire life. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that You listen and I believe that You answer our prayers, sometimes. My confusion is, why do bad things still happen?
Why did Maggie have to die in that car accident, leaving behind four children that need her, a husband who loved her and a family that is devastated by her loss? Couldn't You have protected her? Or is it that You truly don't have control over everything? Did You take her because she was ready to die? She had said those same words to her husband just one week before her death. Do You take those that are ready to die? And how do You know who is ready? I'm so confused, Jesus. And the sad part is that I probably will not get any answers until I meet You at the end of my life.
I want to let You know, just in case You don't know, that I am not ready to die. I need more time to see my children grow up, to meet my grandchildren, and to celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with Rafe. As overwhelming as life can be, there are things I need to do, dreams I want to achieve, and goals I want to accomplish, so I need a little more time here on earth. Yes, I look forward to the day I will meet You face to face, but I'm not ready for that moment yet. In the meantime, I will continue to prepare myself through meditations, prayers (even if You can't answer them all), learning about You and trying to be a good person.
Please help me to deal with all the stress, show me how to handle just one task at a time, and don't let me get overwhelmed with the never ending "things to do" list.
I love You, Jesus!!!
July 10, 2017
Dear Jesus:
It's been eleven years since I asked You all those questions and You still have not answered them. Just like I suspected then, You are not going to answer them until I'm in front of You in heaven.
In the past eleven years, though, I have grown a lot in my relationship with You. Even though I still don't feel ready to die, I know that it is not up to me. Who am I to tell You the time or the hour? Only You know that. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be so when the hour comes, I'm ready.
I don't question You anymore. I know that we all have our crosses to carry and only You know why some are harder than others. Everyone is going through something. Some people carry their crosses with a lot of dignity. They make it seem so easy. Others are always angry or complaining. I have sent You plenty of shouts and complaints, especially eight years ago when Rafi got so sick. But You taught me how to grow from the pain, how to offer it for others, and how to accept my cross with dignity.
As Father Vuturo said in his homily a few months ago: "Suffering can make us better or it can make us bitter." I like to think that I became a better person because of what we went through. I know for sure that Rafi became a better person. He has never been bitter because of his illness. And he taught Rafe and me not to be bitter either. We tried to turn our pain and what we learned from it into helping others that are walking in our same shoes.
Bad things happen, to good and bad people alike. It's part of our journey here on earth. The good news is that if we carry our crosses with humility and dignity, You will be waiting for us at the end of this journey, and I have no doubt that in heaven, there will be no more suffering and no more pain.
I love You, Jesus!!!
Please help me to deal with all the stress, show me how to handle just one task at a time, and don't let me get overwhelmed with the never ending "things to do" list.
I love You, Jesus!!!
July 10, 2017
Dear Jesus:
It's been eleven years since I asked You all those questions and You still have not answered them. Just like I suspected then, You are not going to answer them until I'm in front of You in heaven.
In the past eleven years, though, I have grown a lot in my relationship with You. Even though I still don't feel ready to die, I know that it is not up to me. Who am I to tell You the time or the hour? Only You know that. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be so when the hour comes, I'm ready.
I don't question You anymore. I know that we all have our crosses to carry and only You know why some are harder than others. Everyone is going through something. Some people carry their crosses with a lot of dignity. They make it seem so easy. Others are always angry or complaining. I have sent You plenty of shouts and complaints, especially eight years ago when Rafi got so sick. But You taught me how to grow from the pain, how to offer it for others, and how to accept my cross with dignity.
As Father Vuturo said in his homily a few months ago: "Suffering can make us better or it can make us bitter." I like to think that I became a better person because of what we went through. I know for sure that Rafi became a better person. He has never been bitter because of his illness. And he taught Rafe and me not to be bitter either. We tried to turn our pain and what we learned from it into helping others that are walking in our same shoes.
Bad things happen, to good and bad people alike. It's part of our journey here on earth. The good news is that if we carry our crosses with humility and dignity, You will be waiting for us at the end of this journey, and I have no doubt that in heaven, there will be no more suffering and no more pain.
I love You, Jesus!!!
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